//------------------------------// // Well Damn // Story: "I wouldn't say Heroes...." // by TheOneWhoWanders //------------------------------// "Would you both shut up for ONCE!" Came a shout filled with rage from the only full human in the colorful cast wandering through the forest near the city of Ranmoria. In his defense, the two his anger was directed at had been arguing all day. "Yeah, come on guys. This is a little ridiculous now." Said a much smaller, more feminine and rather young voice belonging to the little ice elf of on the team. Normally she would try and mediate any disagreements in the group but it appeared as though even her legendary patience had finally been broken. "I'll be quiet when this asshole stops treating me like dirt!" Yelled the avian figure. It had an extremely feminine figure that was covered in skin, or rather feather, tight leather armor with two small but obviously sharp daggers held in her hands. She was an Otir. They were very rare to see outside of the floating Islands of Gorsum. "I will be silent when this urchin finally takes some responsibility for her money!" This voice came from a figure who, upon first glance, looked human but with closer inspection his gills, sharp teeth and webbed hands became more apparent. This figure was dressed similar to a post american civil-war gentlemen, cane and bowler hat included. He was also wearing a mechanical monocle which appeared to give him a HUD on his left eye. The one thing that made this man seem dangerous was the small, triple barreled shotgun resting in a holster on his hip. "How about you both mind your own damn business before I put you both on the ground!" The first voice roared yet again, stopping and turning to stare the two troublemakers down. This man was arguably the most intimidating of the group. He towered a full half-head above most of the others and was dressed in a leather duster, under which metal plates could be seen, with a bandanna covering half his face and a wide brimmed hat covering his head. One eye was milked over and a massive claw scar running through it. His hand cannons glinted in their holsters and his hand was eerily close to his favored knife. "NO! I mean *ahem* no. Violence isn't the answer here, Ivan." The small Ice Elf said. She wore robes covered in glowing runes, showing her magical prowess. A hood covered her head but it did not obstruct view from her face and her eyes, glowing white and illuminating the area around them. "I know your young, Elincia, so you won't know this yet but every so often you'll come across folk who only respond if violence is used. Its simply unfortunate that we're stuck with two of them." "I don't think that's unfortunate." The final figure finally spoke. This one wore leather armor and a large cloak. Two short swords rested on his hip and a bow with a quiver of arrows was on his back. Nothing could be seen of his face except the green glow shining from his eyes and the large pointed ears coming from the side of his hood. "In fact, I think its a good thing. That stubbornness of theirs coupled with your ability to direct it has proven to be a boon time and again. Remember Malkoa?" "Ugh, don't remind us of that vile barbarian, Alejandro. Please." said the half-human. "Whatever you want, Swede." "What's the matter, Swede? Did big nasty, Malkoa get dirt on your fancy clothes?" The avian said, sarcasm leaking from her tone. "As though your one to talk, poultry. Did he not burn your wing feathers off, miss Pajara Voel? came the response. "POULTRY!? Why I oughta claw your eyes out for th-" A loud gun shot interrupted Pajara's threat. All heads snapped over to Ivan, holding a still smoking revolver into the air. He made eye contact with each member of the party before he spoke to them in a slow voice that barley holding onto not tearing into each one. "I am NOT in the mood for this horseshit today. All four of you are going to shut up for the next hour of the journey or I'm going to lay whoever starts any more arguments out and leave them tied to a tree until I decide to come back for them. Don't make me do that because you know that I most certainly will. Is that clear?" All the others had looks of shame. Each was rubbing their hands, heads or holding their hands behind their back. Ivan put up with lots of their personal issues and helped keep each of them on the straight and narrow. He had earned the nickname of 'Team Dad' for a reason. Never before had he gotten legitimately angry at them. Angry Ivan was a scary thing to see. Just imagine a 6 foot 2 inches tall, 58 year old professional monster hunter shouting at you with a rage never seen before. Wouldn't you be scared, too? "Sorry, Ivan." They all said at the same time. "Good. Now get moving, were in Vampire territory and I want to be in Ranmoria before sundown." Ivan reloaded his weapon before placing it back into its holster. He turned and began marching down the road, the others not far behind. Round about two hours later the group was allowed to speak again. The sun had begun to set and the bloodfiend vampires would be on the prowl soon enough. All members of the group knew this and had picked up their pace as they all knew what a hungry bloodfiend swarm could do to them. Even with their top of the line equipment, extensive combat experience, and strangely efficient unit cohesion in a fight then would be torn apart and eaten. "Wait," said Elincia very quickly and with purpose. "Somethings happening." "What is it? Should we be worried?" asked Pajara, worry in her voice. She didn't like being taken off guard. "Magic. Lots of it. Extremely concentrated." "Where?" asked Alejandro, his eyes looking inquisitive. "Underneath us." "What?" said Swede. A large, blue, swirling vortex opened up beneath them and each fell in. The portal closed and the area was plunged into silence. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ivan woke and immediately rose into a sitting position, both revolvers unholstered and scanning the area for possible hostile entities. When nothing was spotted he stood and looked over his surroundings. He was in the mountains."How the hell did I get here?" It was then he noticed that he was alone. "Alright, Where the fuck are you guys? Pajara, if this is one of your pranks then first off, how did you get Swede to agree and second what did you put in my drink?" No response came. The amused smile he had left and turned to a worried scowl. "Pajara? Swede? Alejandro? Elincia? Where are you?" Again, no response. Ivan sighed. "Shit." he whispered to himself. "What the heck are you supposed to be?" Ivan spun around, guns pointed at whomever had just creeped up on him. It was a bird......thing. Not an Otir like Pajara. It was on four legs for one. "Me? What about you? I don't think I've ever seen anything like you before." The creature looked confused, raising what should have been an eyebrow "I'm a Griffin, ya dweeb. Names Gilda. Now, what and who are you, and what are you pointing at me?" Slowly, Ivan lowered his weapon and answered the 'Griffin' creature "I'm a Human. My name is Ivan and that was a very dangerous weapon. Where am I? And have you seen any others like me?" She didn't seem at all bothered by the fact that she could have had her head blown off at any point within the last 15 seconds. "Nope. Your the first Hyooman I've ever seen. You look hungry, follow me." Gilda turned and began walking up the mountain. Ivan's stomach rumbled and he began to follow. If this creature tried anything then he would easily put it down. "Not all of them are Humans. Also, where are we going?" Ivan questioned. "We're heading to Griffinstone, the home of the Griffins. Only reason I'm out here is cause I heard a weird noise and then watched you fall out of some weird hole. Also, don't bother asking why I'm helping you, I'm not sure myself." "So the others are somewhere else, then." Ivan whispered to himself. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pajara was waking at the same time, just she was on a bed and looked to be on board a ship of some kind. "Umm......HELLO?" she shouted. She heard a crashing sound, followed by squawking. The door opened and a green bird man walked in. He wasn't an Otir. She didn't even know there were other birdfolk. "Your awake, good. The Captain was getting worried." The stranger said, entering the room. "Come on," he said, helping her out of the bed. It appeared these people had the decency to leave her clothes on while she was unconscious, not like that one werewolf sex cult. She was lucky that the others had been close by when that little event had gone down and nothing bad had happened. Hopefully, she wouldn't need help here. "Lets get you to the captain." "The captain?" she asked. Leaving the cabin she was in, she found herself on an airship. It was high above the clouds and gave no indication of where she was. "Yes, the captain. Captain Celaeno commands this ship and wanted to talk to you when you woke up." The bird person in front of her informed. Another one of the not-Otirs landed in front of them, having just jumped from the crow's nest. This one looked female and was wearing an impressive hat. It also had a peg-leg made out of some kind of diamond. She began talking. "I'm Captain Celaeno. This is my ship. How did you get on board?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Elincia was cold. She hadn't been cold, truly cold in a while. For the briefest second she though she was home again, in the Yakaza mountain range. Then the events that brought her to this situation came back and her spirits sank. Getting up, she found herself in a field of freshly fallen snow. In the distance was a city that looked to be made out of crystal. Coming from it was a small fleet of flying chariots. It was here that she froze. These were unknowns. Normally she would try to use peaceful means when meeting someone new. She would do that now but it looked like whoever these people are, they were bringing lots of soldiers with them. That could only mean that they wished harm on her. She'd spent so long thinking that she hadn't noticed her subconscious had decided for her. She also hadn't noticed that the chariots had landed. A tap on the ice shield she had formed around herself brought her back to the now. A pink unicorn with wings was looking at her through the magic barrier. "Would you mind lowering the shield? I just want to talk. I promise." "How do I know that, huh?" Elincia demanded, slightly shaking with terror. She had never been alone for so long. "How about we start with introductions? My name is Cadence and I'm the Princess of the Crystal Empire." The pink horse said with a small yet friendly smile. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alejandro was in a desert. That much was obvious. The sand surrounding him seemed to go on forever. Well, except for the spire in the distance. That was covered in many different plants and was the obvious place for the wood elf to make his way toward. Wood Elves had the ability to turn into their spirit animals. Alejandro can turn into a dire wolf. Taking his secondary form, he began to charge toward the strange building with the hope that the locals were friendly or at least tolerated Elves. It was rare to find accepting species since the colony war. Granted it was their own fault (attempted genocide of all non-Elves would cause mass amounts of racism in the rest of the races). At the half-way point he was intercepted by a strange bug-horse-moose hybrid. To stop it from possibly attacking him he felt it would be good to retake his previous form. "Woah!" Yelled a confused voice. "Uh.........You, creature! State your purpose in the changeling lands!" "Just a lonely traveler, good sir. Looking for my lost companions. Mayhaps, I can speak with whoever is in charge and figure out where I currently am?" The creature gave him a suspicious look before indicating a 'follow' motion with its head. It turned and began walking back to its.....castle? Hive? What does one call that thing? "My name is Alejandro. Might I know yours, my friend?" The creature groaned before responding "I'm Pharynx and I'm not your friend. Why do all the outsiders think I'm their friend? When we get there you'd better keep those swords and that bow where they are. The changeling Kingdom might be reformed but it doesn't take kindly to outside threats." "Of course, Pharynx." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mr Yuri Swede (preferring to only go by his last name) was an aristocrat, a cold-blooded capitalist and a cut-throat business man. He had gained a reputation for only caring about money and despised anyone who had less than a thousand gold coins in the bank. He was also currently falling from the sky. There was only one reasonable thing to do now. He screamed a scream of shocked fear as he fell closer and closer to a city hanging off of a cliff. After oh, fifteen seconds or so of falling he finally hit the ground. Luckily, a building cushioned his fall. Crashing through the glass ceiling of what looked like a palace from above. Mr Swede was able to remain coherent long enough to see a large, white horse like creature look at him in worry. He was also able to croak out a pathetic "ow" before being knocked out. Princess Celestia had her guard carry the (what she can only assume is) human to the infirmary. It was very lucky that none of the nobles were petitioning at that time or they would have been crushed immediately. Celestia knew she'd need some help with this and began to write a letter, beginning in the same way she had been for almost eight years now: Dear Twilight, An issue has arisen and I must meet with you as soon as possible. The fate of Equestria may be at stake. Please try to keep this quiet, the last thing we need now is to incite panic in the citizenry. Celestia