A sharp chirp crisply shot through the still morning air as Celestia’s sun rose calmly from the green horizon. A choir of birds soon began their orchestra of twitters, the melody drifted smoothly through the breeze. However, the melody was abruptly interrupted as a shout of fatigue and vigor took over momentarily. The peaceful birds abandoned their song of serenity and took flight out over the lovely dawning sky. All became quiet and silent in the birds’ absence. “Glad to see you’re finally awake, Mister Vice.”
“Wah? Wait, huh?”
Clyde stood over a puzzled looking Vice, his eyes filled with warmth. “Good morning would be the better term, excuse me,” he added with a chuckle.
Vice slowly rose from his position and stood next to Clyde. He noticed his smaller physique compared to the guard, but disregarded it with a joke. “Heh, so what happened last night, any funny business?”
“Mister Vice, you fell asleep as soon as we finished the confrontation with Trixie. Nothing funny happened,” Clyde said already annoyed at Vice’s attitude.
“Jokes, man, jokes. Anyway, uh, yeah where are we?” Vice groggily observed his surroundings and took note of the white atmosphere surrounding him. “Holy hell, wait a min-we’re on a cloud!” Vice said jolting himself awake. He jumped up from the mellow cloud and hovered cautiously above for a moment. “And where the hell did the birds come from, how far up are we?”
“My goodness, Mister Vice, you’re a pegasus,” Clyde said with surprise. “Why are you so apprehensive of clouds? And the birds-they’re a part of Cloudsdale culture!” Vice gave Clyde a look of blind confusion before hesitantly lowering himself. His hooves touched the soft cloud and he planted himself reassuringly to the white ground.
“Yeah, I’m just playing a game.” Clyde raised an eyebrow at the statement.
“So, I take it you’ve never been to Cloudsdale before?”
“Cloud-huh?” Vice asked as if he had heard a foreign word.
“The wondrous city in the sky.” Clyde spoke with an air of confidence. “Surely you’ve at least heard of the place before.”
“Nope.” Vice decided that lying was not the best idea at the moment.
“Well then, let me give you the welcoming tour.” Clyde beckoned Vice to follow. Vice instantly drowned out Clyde’s voice in place of seeing everything around him in full detail. Pegasi prowled the skies; clouds filled every area of sight. Some seemed to disappear while others reformed in plain view. Vice remained in a trance as white, blissful clouds danced in the morning sun.
“…and over here-uh, Mister Vice?” Clyde stopped and turned to spot a stunned brown pegsus.
“How is this possible?” Vice said in awe as he started to notice structures made of pure cloud material. “Is everything made out of clouds?”
“Not everything.” Clyde left intentional ambiguity as Vice eagerly awaited further explanation. Clyde led his anxious follower to a specified location and beamed with delight as Vice called out in amazement.
“Yoooo, those are rainbows! Wait it’s in a cloud bowl-rainbows in a cloud? I’m not high, right?”
“Erm, high?” Clyde gave a perplexed face at the term.
“Uhh, delusional. I’m not, uh, delusional, right, okay good.” Vice traversed around a rainbow filled tub of white powdered cloud, studying each color intently. The gigantic bowl shined with liquid colors ranging from warms to cools. Vice rapidly thrust his hoof into the multi-colored fluid, to Clyde’s apparent dismay. He swished it around, contracting a tingling feeling of cold wetness. The feeling rocketed up his foreleg and surged through his body.
’Wait, am I getting high off...sweet, that’s awesome!’ Vice thought with vigor. After the feeling sank in, he gingerly lifted his hoof out and examined the newly covered fur. Swashes of red, swirls of purple, splashes of yellow, Vice kept his astonishment to the very end where Clyde stepped in.
“Mister-"
“Hohohoho, man! I-Clyde, what’s this stuff made outta?” Vice said trying to keep calm.
“That’s a secret,” Clyde answered with a teasing wink.
“Dammit!” Clyde flinched slightly at Vice’s outburst. “Aw-I gotta tell Enzo about this stuff. He’d-” A light bulb clicked in Vice’s head as he slowly soothed his spirit down to the core. “Uh, where’s Enzo? Hell where’s anypo-one-pony?”
Clyde put a hoof on Vice’s shoulder for support. “Rest easy, mister Vice, everypony is okay. Mister Enzo has stationed himself on Sweet Apple Acres earlier today to continue his work with miss Applejack. Blitz has decided to stay with miss Twilight in order to, erm, well-”
“Well what? Date?”
“NO!” Clyde’s booming voice returned as he fell for Vice’s bait.
“Always kidding on that stuff, Clyde, you should know that by now. And since when do you care-oh right, she’s one of them, uh, Elements or whatever. I gotcha.” Vice spoke with well suppressed chuckles.
“Ahem, yes.” Clyde said regaining his solemn demeanor.
“Everything’s looking fine as hell, even for blue boy,” Vice said letting out his laughter.
“Indeed.” Clyde paused sheepishly. He eyed Vice for a moment, almost analytically. Sighing as Vice gave a blatant look of confusion, Clyde explained his anxiety. “Ahem, Mister Vice-“
“That’s mah name.”
“-yes, erm…” Clyde scratched his head, but gave a disappointed shake of the head. “Well, it has been a while since we’ve been together. You’ve shown much courage and bravery, those qualities are especially-“
“You’re not going to form bromance with me, are you?” Vice cut in with a quick snicker.
“Would you be interested in joining the royal guards and becoming a guard of Equestria?” Clyde stated as bluntly and quickly as possible to further negate anymore of Vice’s slanders.
Vice reacted with a straight face. He simply looked Clyde and shrugged, lifting his hooves limply in the air. “Naw man, that ain’t me. The popo-or the royal guards aren’t my style if you catch my drift.” Vice looked hopelessly at Clyde’s abashed face and sighed. “Listen, Clyde, you’re a great guy, I’d love to hang around with you more often, but the guards aren’t a bunch I’d be better off with. I prefer my current status as lone wolf, or wolves if you count Enzo.” Vice shuffled a bit and left a long pause before deciding to continue speaking, albeit hesitantly. “Plus, uh, I’m ex-military. You guys wouldn’t like that.”
“Ex-military, I-Mister Vice, how-"
“That’s a secret,” Vice said mocking Clyde’s muscular, refined voice. He gave a short laugh before craning his neck to the side and back. “Ahh, well I’m off to meet up with Enzo. I’ll see you, well, whenever. Toodles.” Vice let his metal coated wings extended to their fullest length. Sunlight gleamed off the grayish mixture of color embedded on the mechanical structure. He gave Clyde a firm nod before diving headfirst in between the cloud in front of him.
Clyde peeked through cloud and spotted Vice dashing through the wind towards the green grassland. He smiled and sighed again. “Who is Mister Vicer?”
~~~~~~~~~~
“…and that concludes my tutorial on how to be a good assistant.”
“Okay, but did we have to spend all morning doing this?”
“Yes! This is crucial information that you need to learn early!” Twilight Sparkle gave Blitz a stern look before returning to a black chalk board. Her horn glowed bright purple as she lifted a rainbow of chalk up in the air and into a small, cardboard case. She turned to Blitz and smiled. “Ready for some work now?”
“My leg is broken.” Blitz confirmed this statement as he feebly tried to wiggle his left hind leg. A spike of pain zipped through his leg as he performed the action. Twilight gave a worried look as Blitz’s face showed the agony he was trying to suppress.
“Okay, um, one second thought why don’t we take a break,” Twilight stuttered quickly to cover up her carelessness of her guest.
“But I thought the lesson was over,” Blitz asked genuinely.
“…Spike! Get in here please!” Twilight called out. A few moments later, a small purple creature entered the room and spoke with a raspy voice.
“Geez, Twilight, it’s too early. What is it now?”
“Spike, I need you to help me sort out the library. I’m going to need to find a book on how to fix our friend’s leg here.” Spike turned to Blitz and did a double take before waddling up to him and eying him suspiciously.
“And who are you?”
“The same could be said of you, uh…Spike.” Blitz gave the creature an awkward look before observing just what he was looking at. The light purple skin, sea green scales and honeydew stomach gave Blitz the impression that he was sitting before a dragon. The creature narrowed his lime green eyes and whipped his tail viciously.
“I am Spike, Twilight’s-“
“Baby dragon assistant,” Twilight said happily and proudly.
“I’m not a baby,” Spike muttered frowning.
“Spike,” Twilight said oblivious to his statement. “This is my newly recruited assistant, Blitz. Spike, Blitz. Blitz, Spike.” Twilight beamed with eagerness, but the bubbly attitude shifted as she noticed the tension between the two.
“Assistant, eh? Well, I’ll have you know I’m Twilight’s one and only assistant, so don’t think you can go replacing me,” Spike said confidently and with intimidation. Twilight giggled a bit at Spike’s statement.
“Just like how Owlowiscious replaced you last time.”
“Hey, I thought we agreed not to talk about that wannabe assistant owl,” Spike said.
“Owl?” Blitz said bringing himself into the conversation. “Well, I can see how the height advantage helps.” The statement came out harsher than Blitz intended.
“Hey, unicorn, who are you calling small. You’re even more useless than me mister broken leg,” Spike said now facing Blitz with a face of anger.
“Really. I bet this leg is bigger than your whole body.” This time Blitz made sure to add a teasing tone. However, the purple dragon kept his banter.
“Doesn’t change the fact that you’re a cripple,” Spike shouted back.
“WHO YOU CALLING CRIPPLE?” Blitz’s voice skyrocketed to new heights as he shouted in pure rage at the dragon’s comment. “SHORTY!” he added after his slight pause.
“Shorty?” Spike said aghast. “Shatter-bones!”
“Half-Pint!”
“Cracker!”
“Undersized dragon!”
“Defective pony!”
“Boys!” Both insulters broke their intense argument and met eyes with Twilight. “You two are so childish! Especially you, Spike, I expect better from you,” she scolded.
“But, he-I”
“Nah-ah-ah,” Twilight put a hoof up to silence Spike. The dragon let his mouth slowly close and sagged his whole body. “Spike, can you please exit the room and help with sorting the books?”
With a heavy sigh, Spike trudged his way towards a nearby door. “Alright, but I’m keeping an eye on that pony. You should too.” With Spike’s absence, the tension ceased.
Twilight began to pace around nervously, muttering to herself. She stopped midway and looked at Blitz with a broken smile. “Sorry, I’m just not used to having two assistants.” She looked away and smirked to herself. “At least not anymore.”
“I can only imagine what it’d be like with an owl and a dragon.” Blitz said jokingly. “In any case, I’m glad to be here, Twilight. If Spike is all I’ll have problems with, then I’m sure I can manage.”
Twilight gave Blitz a face of sorrow as her reaction. “I hate when my friends fight,” she said softly and a bit distant.
’Friend,' Blitz thought curiously. ’Does she really consider me a friend that quick?’ Blitz stood dumbfounded trying to find a way to respond. “Uh, well, I also hate when me and my friend argue. Um, Fuzzy, he’s-” Blitz froze at the name, Fuzzy. ’Fuzzy Fry.' The name stung Blitz’s mind with the force of a drill. The internal pain rose like hot lava through his chest. He put a hoof to his head and closed his eyes. The pain surpassed that of his broken leg.
“Hey, Blitz, is everything alright?” Twilight asked with concern.
“I’m fine, just a little shaken up after yesterday,” he replied reopening his eyes.
Twilight frowned and shook her head. “I may not have good pony smarts, I admit, but I think there’s something really wrong.” Blitz sighed and turned to Twilight deftly despite his leg and said with confidence,
“I’m getting a job.”
“Not with that leg,” she replied apprehensively.
“That’s why I need to get it fixed, for real this time. Can you promise to fix my leg if I promise to be a faithful assistant?” Blitz asked seriously.
“Um, well, I guess.” Twilight was shocked at Blitz’s proposition. “Sure, let’s do that.”
“Great,” Blitz said happily. “So, what am I doing first?” he asked plainly.
“Eh, your leg-never mind. Do you think you can handle reorganizing all the books that Spike and I sort through? It’s simple; I can teach you how it’s done.” Twilight showed signs of doubt, but Blitz soldiered on with his determination.
“Yes, let’s do that.” Blitz sluggishly rose from his seat and followed limply behind Twilight as she carefully led Blitz to the library.
“Just because a library is big doesn’t mean we’ll be there all day. Besides, Pinkie Pie has a party in store for us later, remember? I’ll make it my goal to do something about your leg before the party. How does that sound?” Twilight spoke more upbeat to Blitz this time around as the two neared a giant, wooden door. Twilight pushed the huge entrance gently and trotted through promptly.
“Whaaa-this is your library? It’s huge!” Blitz yelled astounded by the scene before him. An ocean of books consumed Blitz as he and Twilight delved deeper. Shelves reached as high as the ceiling, ladders were located everywhere. The smell of old, musty paper returned once more to Blitz’s senses.
“Impressive, if I do say so myself,” Twilight said proudly.
“Right, let’s not waste any time, right?” Blitz said more confident than ever.
“Right,” Twilight confirmed as she finally directed Blitz to a scene with a discontent dragon throwing books rashly behind him. Twilight motioned Blitz to the pile of books and trotted over to her assistant eager to find her specific book. Blitz watched from afar and reflected on his current situation with a grin.
’I made a promise to a friend that I would lead a happier life than before. I promised to have a job and be happy once I reached Ponyville.’ Blitz looked at his hooves and dropped them slowly. ’Please hurry up and get to Ponyville already, Fuzzy. I miss you.’
~~~~~~~~~~
A light breeze brushed against the apple trees, their branches swayed with a melody like tune. Vice walked with stride through the forest path in quietness. He noticed Celestia’s sun now high in the sky and the clouds drifting across the blue sea. “Cloudsdale, eh? Gonna have to revisit that place one day,” he said to himself. As the stroll continued, Vice finally heard what he was searching for. A loud, sharp crack was shot throughout the trees, slightly riveting Vice’s body. He lifted his ear and listened intently for another strike. Soon enough he heard another and positioned himself to walk towards the sound.
“Yo! Enzo! Where you at? Oh and if you don’t recognizes my voice by now, then Imma be real pissed!” Vice shouted playfully at the air.
“Over here.” The words were faint, but noticeable. Vice quickened his pace at the sound of his friend’s voice. He finally spotted a familiar black stallion in bucking position staring sheepishly at him. The red scarf was still wrapped around Enzo’s neck, vibrating life in the sunlight.
“’Sup, bro. You, uh, back here working for that Apple, right?” Vice said almost certainly.
“Yes.” Enzo unleashed the strength of his legs upon the apple tree. An ear-splitting thwack was shot through Vice’s ears, to his dismay. Vice rubbed them and watched as several apples dropped to the soft grass. Enzo skillfully rounded up each and placed them in a nearby basket. “What are you doing here?”
“Just thought I’d drop by and see how my ole’ pal, Enzo, is doing,” Vice remarked with a smirk.
“Applejack is going to kill you,” Enzo said with a bit of worry.
“A risk I’m willing to take. How’s things anyway?”
“Good,” Enzo said with shy happiness. “I’m starting to really like this job.”
“Yeah, that’s ‘cause you got the legs of a God! Pfft.” Vice wandered his eyes around mildly and whistled an out of tune pitch. “So, yeah uh, I kinda wanna come back.”
Enzo almost fell over at the offer. “I see, but Applejack-“
“Like I said, brotha, I don’t care about what she’s going to do to me. I just wanna set things right now that it seems everyone’s having the time of their lives except me.” Vice shuffled anxiously as he awaited his friend’s response.
“Well-“
“Yes, okay, let’s go.” Vice was about to run off before he spotted another familiar pony.
“And just what in tarnations are you doing back here?”
“Oh, hey Applejack, didn’t see ya there?” Vice said with a giant smile. “How are things?”
“Cut the jokes and listen here, Mister,” she said sternly pointing a hoof to Vice. “I thought I told you never to come back here.”
“Well, I thought I’d drop by to see my buddy, Enzo.” This time, Vice spoke with faltered confidence.
“Save it for somepony who cares. Yer not getting a place on this farm if it’s what yer getting’ at.” Applejack emphasized the last part to the extreme.
“Wait, Applejack,” Enzo said nervously, but with rising confidence. "What about our agreement?"
Applejack's eyes broke eye contact for a split second before resuming her assault on Vice. She grimaced, gritted her teeth, and sighed. “About that...right, we had an agreement,” Applejack said with distaste. "If you insist; but you better take care of him."
"I promise, Applejack."
Applejack grumbled and shook off her uneasiness about the whole subject. "Vice, you better not be lollygaggin' around, ya hear? I won't hesitate to remove ya from this farm." She huffed loudly before exiting the area.
“I’ll be damned." Vice shrugged and adjusted his mane. "You work wonders."
“I had a chat with Applejack earlier about you. I sorta knew you would come back, so I spoke in your name,” Enzo said.
“Good thinkin’, bud,” Vice said with another laugh. “Don’t worry, I’m here to stay. No more dozing off…well for now, anyway.”
Enzo gave Vice a pleased look before returning to his work. He swiftly approached a plentiful tree, reared up his hind legs and let out a thundering kick. The target tree almost fell over as it shook violently and produced the expected bright red apples.
“Yeah, I ain’t doing that anytime soon.”
~~~~~~~~~~
The opening of the building lay menacingly open as Blitz shivered in front. His own mouth was open as well in pure horror as he was about to face a long awaited challenge. He gulped nervously and slowly entered the beast known as Post Pole’s Wonder Mail Emporium. ’This is it. Blitz thought certainly. The moment of truth. Celestia, give me power, I’m gonna need it!'
Blitz took a deep breath and strode forward. As he entered, he was greeted with the smell of paper. A familiar old and musty feeling crept itself back into Blitz’s skull. Besides the piles of paper, there was not a single soul within sight. Stacks and stacks of letters littered dusty desks, unused as Blitz tiptoed past. He came upon a silver encrusted door masked with dirt and looked at both his sides as if there were ponies next to him. He coughed slightly and knocked ever so hesitantly.
“Come in,” a voice said from behind the door. Almost in a trance, Blitz obeyed the voice and pushed open the filthy doors. Before him sat an older stallion sitting at a vibrant brown desk. He wrote effortlessly on paper using his magic to lift a quill. He stopped abruptly and hovered the quill back into the inkwell. Adjusting his shoddy glasses, he looked up at Blitz and spoke with a monotone voice. “Welcome.”
Blitz didn’t know how to respond or what to do. He came in without a plan and instantly regretted not thinking through his actions. “Um, my name is-"
“Blitz, yes. I know.” The pony still spoke with no emotion. His face was littered in wrinkles and brown spots. “Here.” This time Blitz sensed a hint of annoyance in his voice, but wavered off the feeling as the old pony held out some sort of letter. “Well, take it.” Blitz gulped and stepped forward to claim his note. He gingerly took the letter and backed away slowly. He opened it up loudly, to the old pony’s dismay, and read the contents of the paper inside.
As the head master of the mailing services, I, Post Pole, herby pronounce you a member of Post Pole’s Wonder Mail Emporium. You’re task is simple, to deliver letters to the great townsponies of Ponyville in a timely manner. You will start this task upon the next morning in which you have received this letter. Pay and hours will be discussed upon the first meeting you attend. Please make sure to keep a lively spirit when performing your job as a mail pony. If you have any questions, feel free to contact Post Pole or any other employees to have them answered. Enjoy bringing the wonder of mailing!
~Post Pole
Blitz stared dumbfounded at the letter in front of him. He looked back up at presumably Post Pole, but made no further contact with the old stallion. He left the room and headed outside with his mouth agape. As he made his confused way towards Twilight’s house, a pegasus swooped down right next to him. He turned, his mouth hung open, and stared into the beaming eyes of Clyde.
“Well, well, Mister Blitz. It looks like things are going very well,” Clyde said exceedingly happy. “Very well, indeed!” Blitz still had his mouth open and Clyde merely laughed at the pony’s reaction. “I see you’re still shocked by what just happened. Allow me to clarify!” Clyde pumped himself up and explained himself. “You see, Mister Blitz, I am a very renowned guard in Ponyville. I know almost everypony and they know me.” Clyde brushed his mustache approvingly as if to praise himself. “That being said, I happen to know Mister Post Pole.” Blitz’s mouth finally closed as he realized what Clyde was getting at. The guard grinned and brushed his mustache once more as he continued his story. “Since the day you told me you were in search for a job, particularly one in the mailing business, I tried to persuade the headmaster. Let’s just say it worked out in the end.”
Blitz immediately gave Clyde a hug faster than the guard pony could react. Clyde smiled warmly and let the blue stallion embrace the bigger pony. “Clyde, I don’t even know what to say, what I can-how I can return this favor.” Blitz’s words were stilted, but sincere. “I-I,” Blitz was on the verge of tears.
Clyde gave hearty chuckle as the other pony broke away. “It’s a guard’s duty to ensure the happiness of the citizens. I’m just doing my job, just as you are going to do yours.” The two ponies exchanged meaningful laughs before starting to walk together back to Twilight’s house. “Mister Blitz, also don’t forget. We have a party to attend later, no?” Clyde asked with upbeat eagerness.
“Yes, something finally to look forward to as my life changes into something truly beautiful. I just wish Fuzzy was here to experience this happiness,” Blitz said bittersweet.
“I’m sure he’s trying his best to make his way to Ponyville as quickly as he can. We just need to wait a little longer,” Clyde tried saying with reassurance.
“Yeah, you’re right. I have to stop being so negative. I finally restarted my life, the past is gone and the present is now. I have positive things to think about and that’s where my mind is headed. Thank you for everything, Clyde, from the start of my departure here to the very end. Thank you.” Blitz looked at Clyde with the most joyful he could ever pull.
“A guard’s duty and his promise.” Both ponies continued walking with gusto in their footsteps and fire in their hearts.