//------------------------------//
// 16 The Lion, Part One 
// Story: Continuity Disrupted 
// by Doug Graves 
//------------------------------//

July 3rd, 1000 Domina Solaria

Doug groans as he wakes up, the dawn's light streaming through the window. Morning already? He slumps back, if only for a moment; Applejack has made clear she wants more of his help around the farm for the next week, on account of and in preparation for all the apples they have growing. But, what was with that dream he had last night? It was nearly as vivid as the time Celestia roped him into being arbiter. Well, maybe that wasn't entirely Celestia's fault.

He manages to chuckle to himself: which dream has a happier ending? He has no idea; both endings are quite bleak, showcasing the villains winning. Or at least succeeding at their plots. At least he didn't have to dig himself out of his own mind this time. He grunts as he rubs his head; this time could really have done with less bouncing around. His mind still feels like a rubber ball, squishing one way and then another as it tumbles around. Maybe his morning run would do him some good, help him feel better. Though it has been a while since Rainbow joined him on one.

He wipes the sleepiness out of his eyes as he sits up, though only one side of the bed feels occupied. He yawns as he glances over, expecting cyan and pink snuggled together under the thin blanket. He frowns as his hand pauses over the sheets, only the poofy pink mane visible. The strands of purple and red are missing, and judging by the lumps there is only one pony in the bed with him.

He gently tugs the sheets up, half expecting an explosion of confetti, but the only thing greeting him is a pair of cerulean eyes smiling up at him. Doug grunts out, "Morning, Pinkie," as he licks his dry lips. "Not working the morning shift today?" He peeks further under the blanket, ending the debate on whether or not Rainbow could be hiding under there anyway.

"Nope!" Pinkie Pie says, her voice subdued but enthusiasm no less present. There are fillies sleeping in the next room, after all. "I'm closing today. So I get to spend all day with Rainbow Dash! It's going to be so much fun!" Pinkie Pie jolts up, kicking off the sheets and blanket. They flip through the air, dropping down and neatly fold themselves at the foot of the bed. "Well, in between Rainbow working and practicing."

"Oh?" Doug says as he sits up, frowning as he looks around the room, not spotting the cerulean pegasus hiding anywhere. "Where did she run off to?"

"Hmm," Pinkie Pie says, a little flustered as she looks around. "I thought she'd be here, too." She pulls out a headband, complete with arrow, and then a kazoo. "I guess I'll check her cloud house. Though, why she would stay there instead of here with you?"

"I'm not sure, but she better have a good reason," Doug grunts out, checking the floor before setting his feet down. He relaxes as he exhales, stretching his arms in preparation for his morning run. He glances over to the mare rummaging under the bed next to him, "Hey, Pinkie. Thanks for staying here with me."

"Of course!" Pinkie Pie says, her grin and twinkling eyes covered up by a pair of glasses and fake mustache. "I'd never leave you! I mean, I would have said that about Rainbow Dash too, but..." Pinkie Pie shrugs, pronking to the door. "Anyway, lots more ponies to prank!"

"Before you go," Doug says, Pinkie Pie's hoof grasping the doorknob and opening the door, "Do you mean that? That you'd stay with me, even if, say..." Doug gulps, closing his eyes as he forces himself to keep talking, "Nightmare Moon took over?"

Pinkie Pie pronks over to Doug, a quick nuzzle before she envelopes him in a hug, Doug quickly wrapping his arms around her. "Of course I would, silly! I mean, assuming she's not some heinous monster who makes you cook ponies into cupcakes." Pinkie Pie snorts, "Wouldn't that just be ridiculous? I mean, if she's just a ruler like Princess Celestia, except with a night theme and spooooky armor?" Pinkie Pie giggles, making an extended 'oooo' noise while waving her hooves back and forth above her head. "I think I could live with that! But if she's making you go against who you are?" Pinkie Pie shakes her head, waving a hoof back and forth in front of her neck, "There's not much point in living without laughter!"

Doug smiles, "I guess not." His hand rubs at Pinkie Pie's ears as she gives him a quick kiss, the mare pronking out of the room and shutting the door behind her. One quick bathroom trip later and Doug drops down, a set of push ups and sit ups before going to the door. His hand fails to twist the doorknob, slipping on the greasy metal.

Doug raises his arms to the ceiling, mock shouting an exaggerated, "PIINKIEE!" as he smiles. He tries the knob again, one eye squinting as his hand slips off. Hmm. How is he going to get out of here without waking up the house or making Rarity upset by ruining one of his shirts or towels?

Some time later, Doug rounds the bend on the eastern edge of the farm. Rainbow Dash's cloud house is still visible, though no activity yet from the rainbow adorned building. And no rainbow blur streaking along the skies, though if he has to guess she is on a similar schedule as Pinkie Pie. She should be somewhere, doing her morning workout, especially if she isn't jogging along with him.

Doug spots Pinkie Pie and Meringue as he gets a little closer, the pink mare shouting up at the house while her filly stands next to her. He is still too far to make out exactly what she is saying, and continues his jog towards them. Pinkie Pie blows on a party horn, the loud blaring echoing among the apple trees. A brown form peeks out from the cloud house above, Rainbow Dash quickly poking her head out from the upper floor. Rainbow darts down, greeting Pinkie Pie with a quick nuzzle. The brown form glides down, preening a little as she watches the three ponies. A single talon goes into her mouth as she twists her head to the side and gags, though it is quickly hidden as Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie turn to her.

The three talk together for a little bit before Rainbow Dash zips up to the sky, the brown bird reluctantly following behind. Rainbow dances back and forth in the air, a short series of minor tricks. Then Rainbow Dash spins like a tornado, a vortex of blue energy! Quite the sharp contrast to the brown arms waving halfheartedly around that quickly drop back down. Both land, posing with forelegs in the air, only Rainbow Dash belting out a cheer.

As Doug gets closer, he can make out the goofy grin on Rainbow, along with the black ring around her eye she was sporting yesterday. He guesses even Rarity wasn't able to take it off; that, or the pegasus didn't care enough to ask, or dreaded what Rarity would put her through for the trouble. The griffon, he can make out now, is merely standing by with a bored look on her face. 

She says in a loud, raspy voice, "But Dash, you promised me we'd get a flying session in this morning." She turns, looking at Doug as he approaches and raising one set of purple eyebrow feathers. "And who are you supposed to be?" She glances around the orchard, "The farmhoof?"

Doug snorts as Rainbow Dash nervously paws at the ground. "Why? You need a good threshing?" Doug grunts out as he beats two fists against each other. Gilda cocks her head, confusion in her eyes swiftly morphing to anger. Doug gives a quick nod, "Sup, Dash, Pinkie. Who's your friend?" Pinkie Pie turns at Doug, a quick upwards flick of her head nodding back.

"Hey!" Gilda shouts, roughly pushing Rainbow Dash and knocking her to the ground. "That supposed to be some kind of joke? Or you looking for a beating?" She brandishes her golden talons, sneering as best a beak can.

Doug raises an eyebrow, though he gives the talons a wary glance, "What, do you not know much about wheat? It's a farming reference. Threshing?" He pantomimes holding one hand up while slicing with the other, then lifting his arms with two hands spread apart. Gilda merely glares at him in return, huffing as she deliberates taking this up a notch.

Rainbow Dash pushes herself back up, dashing between the two and smiling at both of them. She flies up, motioning to Gilda, "Hey, Doug! This is my griffon friend, Gilda!" She turns to Doug, an equally enthusiastic, "Gilda, this is my, um, stallion, Doug!" 

"Your stallion?" Gilda exclaims, backing up a step and staring at Rainbow. Gilda snorts, looking over at Pinkie Pie and Meringue; Pinkie Pie looks a little offended while Meringue doesn't seem to care. "What in Tartarus happened to you, Rainbow?" she sneers, "I thought you were cool. You getting slow in your herd life?" Gilda takes off, blowing a raspberry at Rainbow Dash as she leaves behind a cloud of dust.

Rainbow Dash yells, "Hey! I'm-" before Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Doug break into a coughing fit as the dust rises around them. The dust slowly settles, leaving Rainbow Dash muttering, "not slowed by my herd." She awkwardly looks at Doug, rubbing the back of her head as she says, "Hey, um, sorry about that. She can be a little rough on the edges." She then turns to Pinkie Pie, "And, um, Pinkie Pie, you don't mind, right? Gilda just got here last night. We'll catch up with you later!"

Pinkie Pie sighs, "Oh. Um, well, sure. No problem." Rainbow Dash grins before she quickly nuzzles Pinkie Pie, taking off after Gilda and leaving a rainbow contrail behind. Pinkie Pie frowns as she continues, "I'll just catch up with you... later."

"Huh," Doug says as Pinkie Pie glowers, "Well, she seems nice."

"Really?!" Pinkie Pie yells, motioning to the spot Gilda had been standing. "Did we meet the same griffon?" 

"Unclear."

"What?" Pinkie Pie exclaims, looking at Meringue. "There's no way you thought she was nice."

"Minimal adaptability. Unacceptable."

"Okay, that's much better." She glances at Doug's greasy hands, then to the farmhouse. "How'd you get out of the room?"

"Opened the window and climbed out." Doug runs his hand through his hair, a few pieces of confetti shaking loose and leaving his short cropped hair sticking away from his head in tiny little spikes. He says, a bit of bite in his tone, "Could have done without the booby trap, though."

"Oh, silly," Pinkie Pie says with a grin, "Who says the window is the only part of the house with a hidden party cannon or two? I mean, I didn't know if you'd be able to get that door open, or call for help, or just lick all that delicious grease right off!"

Doug stares at his still greasy hands, his mind mulling over the possibilities, since water hadn't worked at all as far as removing it. And he couldn't find any soap, as if somepony had hidden it. "Right. I guess I'll go play minesweeper when I get done. Don't suppose you want to give me any hints?"

Pinkie Pie rolls her eyes, "But that takes all the fun out of it! I mean, I know how much you like searching each and every nook and cranny for each and every little hidden secret. Even if most of them don't have anything, you're just waiting for that dopamine hit that validates you, that makes the whole thing worthwhile!" She snickers to herself, as if she realizes the unlikelihood of the scenario, "Who knows; maybe one of them will have something to help you find the other spots! I just hope you don't find that one last," Pinkie Pie nervously glances back and forth before she leans close to Doug, whispering, "because I may or may not have forgotten where all of the triggers are. Though if you find it last, that means you don't need my help!"

Pinkie Pie manages to draw even closer, practically climbing up Doug's body to talk directly into his ear, "Just know, I only forget the location when it's convenient." She pulls away, tapping a hoof against the side of her muzzle as she drops back to the ground. "And spoiling a secret is like spoiling a surprise. I mean, if I just up and told you where those secrets are and what is contained inside? That would ruin the entire point of the game!" Her voice drops an octave, adopting a redneck tone as she belches out, "So you can take your guides and your faqs (pronounced fax) and your spoilers and get out!" Pinkie Pie holds the meanest face she can manage for a few seconds as she points a hoof towards the path along the edge of the farm, the fence surrounding the Apple property remarkably well maintained.

"Actions unacceptable."

Doug opens his mouth for a few seconds, one eye squinting, before Pinkie Pie pronks up, reaching up a foreleg and shutting Doug's mouth with a hoof. Doug grins, shaking his head and waving as he continues his jog, "Have fun chasing Rainbow around!"

"Hey! How'd you know it was later already?" Pinkie Pie smiles for a second, shaking her head. Pinkie Pie starts pronking towards Ponyville, Meringue following behind at her languid pace. Pinkie Pie muses to herself, "Now, I'm going to need some way to get to Rainbow if she's up in the clouds. Probably a couple ways, just in case one doesn't work out or somehow I find that my ride has mysteriously become indisposed. Now, where am I going to get a cannon that can shoot me into the air on such short notice? If Rainbow runs away from me more than four times, I might not be able to catch her!"