//------------------------------// // Is This the Beginning or the End? // Story: Near and Far // by TheMareWhoSaysNi //------------------------------// "Here is your tea... I'm sorry, did I make you wait for too long?" Pinkie Pie felt her palms were damp. It wasn't the first time she was the new girl in a school, far from it, and though she used to like it a lot, now it just terrified her. The first days... Being a curiosity to everyone... To make new acquaintances... Back when she was a child, all smiles and songs, she always thought everyone would be willing to meet her and be her friends but the truth and expectations happened to be very deceiving. Ever since, she dreaded to be where she was right now. In front of her stood her homeroom teacher who also happened to be the Principal of Canterlot High School, smiling at her warmly. Freshly aged fourty, she looked like a woman of her time, though she surely was a bit in advance, since she was actually working instead of being a housewife. Like her own mother, for example, who would never consider working at all. Her eyes were purple and ate a great part of her face, her pouted lips painted in a soft pink and her wavy hair, dressed in a ponytail, was falling between her shoulder blades. Her nails were carefully manicured and wore a grey suit tight around the waist thanks to a thin leather belt that looked like straight out of a fashion magazine. An honest smile would never desert her elegant features. She sounded friendly and soft. Feeling a bit safer now, Pinkie Pie shook her head no, taking her cup of tea with both hands. "Fine!" The Principal answered, her smile never leaving her face. "So... I guess it's certainly not very easy to be in your situation, right?" "Well, I guess... But I'm used to it, now." "I'm sure you're going to like CHS, Pinkamena. Don't worry, the other students know about you coming and they're excited to meet you." Pinkie Pie slightly nodded, while sipping on her tea. To be honest, she rarely had received warm greetings in the various schools she had been. Her overflowing energy wasn't really accepted. Barely tolerated. It felt as if the others could sense what was different about her, though in fact, nothing much was different about her. Yes, she knew that strange language which didn't need a voice to be understood but she could hear the world clearly. Her family wasn't herself. A bell rang and Principal Celestia asked Pinkie Pie to follow her. Now was the time. Stress suddenly rushed back to her heart. It was the most difficult part, these very first minutes. Now she no longer had dreams or illusions, she knew the chances were greater for people to be disappointed about the new girl. She was never cool enough, always too annoying, from the very beginning. No matter what she did. But she tried to reassure herself by saying maybe, this time, things would be different. And, the sooner she would be over with this ordeal, the quicker she would feel relief. While following her teacher, she looked up and observed the walls. It was pretty, and the main colors seemed to be blue and gold, with the emblem of CHS, the horse, being visible by small touches whenever you looked at. Pinkie Pie breathed deeply. Indeed, maybe this time would be different and she would feel good here, for the first time in years. Another bell rang. Celestia stopped in front of a room and signaled her she could go first. Her heart thumping, Pinkie Pie stepped forward. Her teacher followed her immediately and passed her by to get on the dais where her desk was. Instantly, all the girls got up and greeted her with a happy welcome. Pinkie Pie stepped forward again. "Okay, everybody, as you already know, today we welcome a new student. She comes from a school in Rock Farm and her name is Pinkamena Diane Pie. Please, be kind with her." "Rock Farm?" a very pretty girl sitting at the first rank whispered in the ears of the girl nearby. "Isn't that in the middle of nowhere?" Both girls chuckled. Pinkie Pie, though, hadn't heard their little comment. She slowly came closer and tried to speak loud but not to sound too high-pitched. This was something difficult. She couldn't change the sound of her voice. One of the major problem she always encountered was that she never was sure of the line between too much and not enough. Contextual circumstances, in all likelihood. "I'm Pinkamena Pie but my friends call me Pinkie Pie!" She slightly leaned over. When she looked up again, some sort of rainbow flash passed by her eyes. It didn't take her much time to spot where that illusion came from. It wasn't an illusion at all, actually. Sitting at the back of the room, the girl was sleeping, completely slouched on her table and didn't seem to pay the least attention to what was going on around her. She couldn't see her face but her hair was like a curtain made of a radiant rainbow. "Well, Pinkamena... There's a free seat next to Rainbow Dash. You can sit there." Pinkie Pie didn't have to think through. She knew where that free spot was going to be. From the moment she heard the name, she knew. The girl with the rainbow hair, sleeping. She went between the ranks of tables and sat at the exact spot where she had been indicated to. The lesson had already started without her and she knew she had to be quick to get to the matter, especially as school never really been her forte. This, though, wasn't a reason not to act well-mannered. With a smile, she tried to call in her neighbor. "Rainbow Dash, that would be great if you could help Pinkamena," the teacher asked, interrupting what she had just started to say. The girl didn't move, acting as if she hadn't heard anything. The pretty girl of the first rank had a sarcastic smile, when she turned around and witnessed the scene. Why would this show off of Rainbow Dash make an effort for a silly new girl from Rock Farm? Principal Celestia, from her dais, didn't add anything. For a second, she lost her imperishable smile but quickly gained it back. There was no point in trying to force things. Not with that student, and no matter how hard she tried. "Fine! Let's get back to work, then!" She turned to the blackboard with enthusiasm. They were studying Homer's The Odyssey. Her face hidden behind her arms, Rainbow Dash smiled. It always reminded her of a certain conversation she had, a very long time ago, long like a hundred years old lifetime, about being "eternal". Had he also studied it, since then? And if yes, had he thought about her? Because she never ceased to think about him. Where was he now? What was he doing? With who? "Em, sorry... I'm a little lost and..." The annoying voice of the new girl dragged her out of her train of thoughts. Why did Principal Celestia always try to stick new persons to her back, always wanted her to fit into that place she didn't want to belong to? It was such a waste of time, like those sessions at the psychiatrist's. The only difference might be that the teacher's secret intentions certainly wasn't to make her accept a shock therapy, like that could be of any use. "... If you could help me a little..." Rainbow Dash sighed loudly and finally looked up. As she did, she could feel her messy hair erecting on her head because of the static electricity. The best she could, she tried to convey in her eyes how much she wasn't interested by the person who was in front of her. Seeing her face for the very first time, Pinkie Pie opened her eyes wide of admiration. Her skin was so pale, so thin. It surely wasn't the most beautiful girl of the room but she definitely had someone magnetic, a laid-back attitude that made her look so cool. Pinkie Pie was marveled by how long her hair was, of soft it looked and how shiny it was, of her magenta eyes - such a rare color too - and how piercing through her they seemed to be. Just because she thought she was faboulously fascinating, Rainbow Dash immediately got Pinkie Pie's liking. The feeling was far from being shared. Rainbow Dash thought Pinkie Pie was common, too loud, and her voice unbearable. It was dangerous to rely too much on the appearances and yet, a person could only had one chance of making a good first impression. She could as well be extremely smart, behind her look of ingenuity, it wouldn't change a thing. No more than they ever did before, people were nothing interesting to her. "What d'you want?" "Well, I've new, as you know and as I said, I'm a bit lost. Could you explain what it is all about, please?" "It's a book. There's nothing to understand and nothing to explain. Just read it already." "But I..." "Your problems aren't my problems. Just deal with it by yourself!" Rainbow Dash then looked away, her eyes now staring at the window. Of course, Pinkie Pie was disappointed. She had thought that maybe, only maybe, if it was to help her, since Principal Celestia asked the student to be kind with her, the girl would agree to talk to her and that she could eventually get to know more about her. But in all likelihood, this wasn't going to happen. She wouldn't try to speak to her again, at least for this first hour of class, and she went back trying to understand the lesson, though she had no notes to help her and of course, she had forgotten to bring the book with her. She hadn't even read it, thinking that wouldn't be compulsory for her very first day. Behind the window, evanescent clouds were floating in the sky. How long would high school last? Rainbow Dash finally understood why human beings always dreamed of being able to have a control over time. If that thing ever became possible, then she would like to be able to speed it up, and not just because she liked when things were fast. Because she wanted to know whether he remembered his promise... And what if he didn't? Rainbow Dash suppressed a chill. If that was the case, then going back in time would be a good thing. With a magical wand, she would erase the memories of these three years. Where would she choose to stop? His departure on the first summer, maybe... Unfortunately, time wasn't to be controlled anytime soon. If he had forgotten about the promise, she would never be able to go back there. Everything would be lost, forever and for good. What to do, then? Trains were never forgiving. When they crashed you, here you went. Life seemed to be ever so tasteless. The only moments that had been important to her were now far behind her back. There was no point in regretting. But regretting was all that was left to her. So she clung at regrets, at memories in order to keep her head out of the water. She had no other choice. If he had forgotten about his promise, then she could let herself go and drown in the depth of the ocean but not before. The bell announcing the end of this lesson rang. All the girls of her class gathered in a loud noise of chairs and tables. Each had a sandwich carefully prepared by their mothers, along with a fruit, most of the time an apple, and they liked to be together during lunch, laughing stupidly and gossiping about movies stars and rockers. Pinkie Pie was feeling alone. At her table, she shyly took out her own sandwich, also prepared by her mother. Tomato sauce and tuna, her favorite. She was the new girl and yet, no one paid any attention to her. She felt invisible, like a puff of thin air so transparent nobody noticed its very existence. She had wished she wouldn't attract too much curiosity. Here, she was granted, since she had nothing at all. She wasn't feeling better for all that. Beside her, Rainbow Dash took her own packed lunch out of a brown kraft bag. Nothing venture, nothing gain was the saying. It would be one of the boldest move she had done since the literature lesson started but she had to try anyway. Even though she didn't know why she was acting so much like a school kamikaze today. Pinkie Pie got closer to her with her chair. "Can I eat lunch with you? I don't know anyone and..." Without a word, her box under her arms, Rainbow Dash got up and put her backpack on her shoulders. She left the room and didn't even take one little glimpse at Pinkie Pie who, disappointed once again, looked down. With a little push of her feet, she slipped her chair back where it was before and began to nibble on her food like a punished child. Suddenly, a girl almost materialized in front of her. The girl of the first rank. A classic beauty, her purple and blue hair was styled with a scarf around her head and shimmered under the sun like a piece of silk material. According to everyone's opinions, she had the face of a black angel. And she took that as a compliment. "You'd better not get too close to that girl," she said, sitting at Pinkie Pie's table. Two girls were behind her, always behind her. They were what she called her friends but what everyone else in CHS called the most faithful and silly foils there ever was in Equestria. "Why?" "Because she's not respectable. Oh, but how stupid I am, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Starlight Glimmer. It's nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you too." "Do you want us to be friends?" Starlight Glimmer asked with her loveliest smile. In normal circumstances, Pinkie Pie would have beware. But the truth was that she was too eager to have someone on her side, effortlessly, even though she had sounded like her usual high-pitched nuisance when she introduced herself. Reassured, she accepted the proposition, without further thinking, and she and Starlight Glimmer as well as her foils, started to have a conversation about the last time they went to the movies. Only in the course of their conversation, Pinkie looked through the window. She had a glimpse at Rainbow Dash who was eating her lunch with a thoughtful look. She seemed so... melancholic. "Don't worry about her," Starlight Glimmer said, looking in the same direction. "Do you know why she's always sleeping in class? Miss is a gifted person. And so, she doesn't give a damn about the lessons. She thinks she's so superior to every of us, just because she was at Crystal Prep before and she treats everyone here with contempt." "But why isn't she in the Guiding Class, then?" "Miss said no. Supposedly it was because she wanted no privileged treatment. This poser only wants to show off, this is the truth." Pinkie Pie took a new look at the girl on the bench. Her instinct told her Starlight Glimmer was wrong but she didn't want to contradict her new friend, it was too soon for that and she was too scared of being rejected or worse, mocked. She didn't really know the rules of this school, after all. If there was something she knew of experience it was that the more schools seemed to be different, the more similar they actually were. "Do you know what they say about her? She always wears long sleeves because she cuts herself every night. The teachers know about it and they say nothing. If that's true, it gives me shivers! They also said she tried to kill herself because of a boy." The sound of Starlight Glimmer's voice did nothing to hide her disgust and a hint of pride. It was so... mean. Pinkie Pie had never liked mean persons. And yet, she knew she would probably still be friends with her. Simply because what scared her more than malice was loneliess. Her cowardice was such a disgrace! However, deep down, she also knew that Rainbow Dash intrigued her very much and secretly, she wanted to know. *** Cadance breathed deeply. Summer holidays were over and she had to go back there. Though she was a true believer, she doubted she would ever be able to do something out of her students. They cared about nothing, wanted nothing and had no desire to study anything, except maybe feminine anatomy and even that, she wouldn't have bet. Out of all the classes of Mountview High School for Boys, she had been given the worse one. And to say she had been valedictorian of her university... If she had chosen Mountview it was in full consciousness, precisely because she had the desire to make things change for the better. Just like in that movie, The Blackboard Jungle. But she had to state the obvious - it wasn't easy to make things change when there was no will for it. And movies were just that. Movies. Fiction. Nothing to do with reality. She pushed the door of her room. From now on she was Cadance, hometeacher of the third class of Senior grade, the worst one, in Mountview High School for Boys. "Hello, everyone!" She had spoken with a cheerful voice, but like usually, no one answered her enthusiastic greetings. Shoulders already down, she dragged her feet to her desk and watched the mess that was in front of her. Her students, with their lame duck attitude, many of who displayed a copy of James Dean's look in Rebel Without a Cause, were busy making a racket. Some were reading comic books, others were playing cards or worse, with their lighters, but absolutely none of them seemed to be ready to study. In the back, the bunch of bosom buddies was suffering of the lack of a member. "Lesson's about to start, could you please put the tables back where they were?" Castigating and whistling as they were, they all obeyed and arranged the desks back where they belonged. Deep down, they weren't so bad, she thought while she looked at them granting her request, despite it all. They just needed a bit of discipline. And brand new haircuts, maybe. She might well note this, still her class' credits had her very much desperate. Would she be ever be able to make them learn something? Only one little thing, that was all she was asking for, not the moon and stars. She regarded it as not that demanding. Somehow, she started to write a vocabulary exercise on the blackboard. Cadance was a literature and English teacher. As far as she could remember, she had always liked learning new languages and she had given it a lot of her spare time, to the extent that now, being less than thirty, she already could speak four. Her father had hoped she would not waste her time teaching, but would try something more ambitious, like research or journalism. His deception had been huge when he learned that not only was she a teacher but in such a school with it. In such a class... If that was all for this result, he would have prefered her to be a silly little girl planning on finding a good husband instead. Suddenly, in the back of the room, at the door where her students penetrated it, there was a sound. The three boys that sat there turned around and got up in order to welcome the missing member. The bunch was composed as followed: Thunderlane, the one with the bleached white hair, a good-for-nothing rascal who had nothing but girls on his mind and spent most of his time reading Playboy; Flash Sentry, a kind and intelligent boy, very successful with girls but who didn't really care and was going to school in order to satisfy his mother's wish - a widow in debts who was raising her three sons on her own and dreamed about her older boy getting a diploma - but who was already thinking about leaving school to work; then came Silver Zoom, a former gang member, always ready for a fight. And there was him... He always went and came in class, as he saw it fit. He probably was the one she had the biggest issues with. Not that he was an agitator or shown signs of violent disobedience. This Cadance was sure she would have dealt with more easily. Though taciturn and secret, he never listened and never focused on a complete lesson. Plus, he had a great influence on both Thunderlane and Silver Zoom, who weren't perfect examples of owning agency. With his usual tired and nonchalant way of walking, he sat behind his desk at the back of the room. "You're late again, Soarin. And why weren't you at the meeting of the new semester?" Mountview called it a ceremony. In reality, it was a global call to order before things would even get started, just to make sure the rules were clear. No need to say, much of the students didn't care at all and the meeting never stopped them from degrading the rooms or the supplies nor did it from causing fights or from skipping classes. Soarin looked at her with arrogance, and shrugged. His only answer was to put his head against his table and close his eyes to sleep. Oh, he could act disdainful as much as he liked, Cadance could see right through his little games. This wasn't his character. And yet, she didn't intervene, as always. What could she do about it? Secretly, she dreamed of being able to tame her students, and especially this one, but she clearly was lacking authority in that matter. For sure, it was a responsibility that was too heavy for her frail shoulders. Soarin wasn't tired. Despite his work that never ended until late at night, he wasn't tired. Acting as if he were asleep was just a manner to occupy his time. Three years. It was now three years since she was gone. More often than not, he felt as if he already had lived a hundred years without her. Yet each time he could only state the truth, it had been only three years. Life was still very young. But since this was the way things were, then that's hard luck. "Hey, Soarin!" He looked up. Thunderlane had called on him, shaking his shoulders with as much grace as he could possess. "I've been able to get us a date with four girls from CCHS. Will you be there?" "No thanks." And back he went to his so-called sleep. Not paying the least attention to the lesson, his three friends were talking together, reproaching him his lack of interest for girls, dating and sex. This, at least, hadn't changed much. In the past, he never been the type who, once they discovered the other sex was attractive, spent all their time trying to hit on girls. Just like he didn't mind much about all the rest, he didn't mind much about it. Of course, he often thought some girls to be pretty but it never went farther than an aesthetical appreciation. Until she hapened to be on his way... Soarin closed his eyes. He couldn't help it, he had to think about it. Her absence was such a huge void of emptiness and this void turned to be particularly unbearable once he started to think about the circumstances of it all. A voice kept on resounding in his mind. « You're suffering, aren't you, Soarin? Serves you right! You're the only one to blame. Today, she's no longer here. No longer breathing. All this for what? All this because you wanted to play it smart. You haven't thought much about the consequences, have you? You shouldn't have done that. You should have had more drive and not go that far. But instead of that, you tried to play superhero. And now, you got nothing. Nothing at all. » Abruptly, he looked up and jumped out of his chair. Cadance, standing near the backboard with a chalk in her hands, stopped in the middle of both her exercice and sentence, and turned around. His three friends looked at him with surprise as well. "What's wrong now?" He took his bag on the floor and dashed towards the door. He had to find something to do, anything, but he had to keep his mind busy. So he would stop thinking about it. What was the point? He would never stop feeling guilty. Cadance hailed him, even going as far as leaving her blackboard and try to hold him back but her actions came too late. He was already gone and she couldn't leave her class only to get him, that was far too risky. They could as well decide that class was over for the hour, that had barely begun. He had to hide something that was big to be in such a state of mind. But there were very little chances for him to ever confide in her. She was part of the enemy. The adult world.