//------------------------------//
// In Soviet Russia (Or Pinkie's Laboratory Kitchen At Any Rate)... 
// Story: Life is A Test 2: Test Harder (Quite A Bit Harder) 
// by Brony_of_Brody 
//------------------------------//

You pour the divided vanilla extract into the batter, hoping that your feelings (or perhaps lack of it) will make it into the Cake of Diablos. Giving it a good mix, Pinkie pours the mixture in the cake tin, and sets the temperature at 20% Above Reasonable degrees, for 20 and pi minutes exactly.

It isn't until Pinkie tries and removes the cake from the oven that you encounter a slight setback. Namely, the cake has burst out of the oven in a blind rage and is now attempting to devour both you and your pink miscreant.

Grabbing the cliff-notes from the kitchen counter as you try and flee the baked monstrosity, you discover at the back page that the Cake of Diablos, despite its perfectly harmless sounding name, is in fact a secret project from a long-past war, to design a food for the enemy comprised of the most EVIL ingredients in existence.

Now that it mentions it, that explains why such ingredients like W1ND3G0 Flour seems suspiciously similar in spelling to Windigo Flour, but in all fairness, if you weren't smart enough to figure that out, you would have stopped long before this ever got out of hoof.

Also, what sort of cake mix comes with the instructions 'beat thoroughly with silver-spiked club', anyway?

You can't die here: Pinkie won't pay you for your job otherwise, so there's no recourse to follow other than to slay the rascally cake-monster once and for all. As it happens, lying around Pinkie's kitchen is a laser beam death ray: you don't ask where or why it's there, because client confidentiality and everything. It's mounted directly in the centre of the ceiling, and you plan to slice the monster into two to put the feral beastie down - and cook the pieces well done, like toast. Taking stock of your surroundings, you note that the kitchen is, bizarrely, in the shape of a pentagon, and you reckon the laser is maneuverable enough to allow you to slice through the kitchen anywhere, as long as it's right down the middle of the pentagon.

Warning Pinkie that it's about to get hot in here, you advise that she first move all precious belongings that the cake hasn't already absorbed into its gooey body out of the kitchen before you fire up and launch the laser. Problem is, you don't actually have time to tell Pinkie which parts of the kitchen are at most risk of being fried to a crisp, so it's up to Pinkie to figure that bit out for herself.

Pinkie better move her hooves. Where are the places most likely to be hit by the death ray?