Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse

by MixMassBasher


Tantalbus, Mk. II by Rambling Writer: Final Chapter

Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Tantabus, Mk. II: Last Chapter: Solution Attained OR (Solution Attained. Ask Tantabus For Sexual Favors)

Dear Princess Luna,

Did you really need to do that just now? Lyra and Bon Bon were just getting past all that foreplay when you just yanked us out of there! Did you not want me to get in on your free dream porn you get every night? Well then, congratulations, Princess, for wasting my whole night then! We have been going on nothing but a wild goose chase trying to figure out how to psychoanalyze your daughter. Can't we just cut her open Surgeon Simulator Style? No? Well, fine! Don't take the easy way out!

Well, here's my diagnosis thus far. You managed to make the perfect campy little daughter to do your bidding despite having no idea how the hell you did it. I suspect that it took a shit ton of coding, though. It shows no signs of villainy. It has no interest in entering the waking world, probably because you decided to not make it draw power from literal nightmare fuel so it has zero interest to cause trouble. Unless it's Discord. We all can agree that he deserves it. And hell even I agree with it that the real world is messed up! So stop fretting about it!

In the end, you decided to leave it on it's merry way and TMNT shouted, “cowabunga,” before disappearing into the dreamscape. A job well done, if I do say so myself. Now, you owe me one free wet dream, Princess. Pay up.

Your sexually deprived and pissed princess,
Twilight Sparkle


Dear Daughter,

Could you handle repaying Twilight for her services. I rather not deal with whatever goes on in that perverted mind of hers.

Your mother,
Princess Luna


Dear Mum,

Sure thing, mum! And I have the best idea.

The next dream Twilight will have, I'll send her to hell! Now don't worry. It will have this infinite library having every book imaginable. It would literally be quite the heaven of a hell! But her reaction to where it is would be hilarious!

Also, when you're free can we play some video games together! I found this jpeg file of this eight-bit game starring you!

Your offspring,
Moondog

P.S. Do you like my new name?


Dear Moondog,

That dream was literally the best hell ever, but could you help me relieve my wildest dream of a sexy orgy party with my nimrod friends?

I did helped prove you can do your slave job right, so mind taking my suggestion into consideration?

Your new friend with benefits,
Princess Twilight Sparkle


To Moondog,

Sweet Celestia! Don't!

Sincerely,
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Spike


Dear Sister,

I'm an aunt now and you didn't tell me!?!

Your sibling,
Celestia


Dear Sister,

You have Cadence call you an aunt and you made me miss out on her royal wedding. I'd say this was a fair trade.

Your sibling,
Luna


Dear Moondog,

Wanna hang out?

-Nyx


Dear Rainbow Dash,

Would you happen to be interested in aiding me with my dreamwalking duties? I believe I am suffering from empty nest syndrome and am in need of some company.

By royal decree,
Princess Luna


THE CANTERLOT TIMES
PRINCESS LUNA PREGNANT WITH A CHILD!?!

Recent gossip among the staff in the royal palace has mentioned the rumor that the returning lunar monarch Princess Luna is with a child.

Reactions to this revelation are mixed. The Nobles are in fear of this suspecting that Princess Luna plans to create a new royal dynasty that will replace the current Nobles in charge in the distant future with the birth of her child. The citizens of Equestria seem to have no qualms about this whatsoever. Princess Ember of the Dragon Lands wishes our ruling lunar monarch best wishes on the birth of her child and wouldn't mind aiding in the birthing process citing her experience of hatching many dragonlings with the aid of Spike the Brave and Glorious and Fluttershy the Kind a few months back. Speculations, thus far, of who the supposed father of the child is vary. Current suspects are Trenderhoof and Fancy Jacket.

However, Princess Luna has denied such claims stating that she merely created another Tantabus to help aid in giving good dreams. Her statement has largely been ignored, however, as the possibility of such a being existing is outside the realm of possibility. Such a creature couldn't live being made of make-believe energy and could only exist in dreams as dreams are the product of the subconscious mind. Princess Luna's false claims only prove that something secret is at hoof within the confines of the royal place.

Will the lunar princess reveal her secrets? Time will tell.

Written and Reported by Coranto

In other lunar related news, a new novel titled An Epic Exposé by Buck Haysing seemingly details that Luna's banishment was faked.