Mecha was in his forge, looking at a letter he'd recently received from Canterlot. Reading it once more, he glanced between it and a nearly complete set of silver armor. “Well,” he said, “that's convenient.”
“What's convenient boss?” asked Snips, taking a glance away from his work.
“Nothing you need to worry about,” Mecha replied, putting the letter away when he suddenly stopped. “Actually,” he started, taking another glance at the letter, “this couldn't have come at a better time. Go ahead and stop for the day, and clean up your stations, I'll be right back!”
Running into his house, Mecha looked around before finding what he was looking for. Grabbing the papers, he walked back outside to see Snips and Snails putting the last of the tools away. Giving them a moment to wrap up, Mecha spoke when they finished, saying, “You two have come a long way from when you started, and are almost ready to forge your own basic works for the shop.”
Snips and Snails looked at each other, before cheering and doing little dances. Chuckling, Mecha got their attention, continuing with, “However, that is still a test away.”
Both colts eyes went wide, and Snails asked, “What kinda test?”
Smiling, Mecha said, “A simple test. You see these blueprints?” Mecha then gestured to the blueprints he'd gotten from his house.
“Yeah... aren't these the ones you used on that armor you sold in Canterlot?” Snails asked.
“Yep,” Mecha replied. “In fact, the armor was sold to the client of the job I just received, for a silver and copper version with copper and tin swords.”
“Was that the letter you just got boss?” Snips inquired.
Nodding his head, Mecha replied, “Very observant of you. Yes, it is. Now, as you can see, I already have most of the silver set done, and I have a copper sword that fits the requirements in the shop's back. Your test, is to make the copper set and tin sword, without my guidance. You have today and tomorrow to look over and learn the design, and then a month to make both, so don't rush it. If you manage to make the order to my standard, you'll get ten percent of the order in pay, and I'll allow you to free forge some basic items to sell at the shop. Got it?”
“Sir yes sir!” the two replied, before grabbing the plans. Just as they were about to rush off, Snips stopped, before turning and asking, “Who is the client, anyways?”
Laughing, Mecha said, “Don't worry about it. After all, if I thought it was too important, would I really give it to you as a test?” and then shooed the two out of his yard. Chuckling to himself, Mecha pulled his tools out and started to work on finishing his part of the order, smiling over the reactions he imagined the client would give if it was known that his apprentices were working on the order.
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Mecha sighed as he looked at the extra ticket to the gala he had. Everypony that he knew well enough to call friend already had a ticket, and that left only the date option, since he didn't want to go through the hassle of selling it this close to the gala. Furthermore, it was poker night, which meant if he hadn't asked anypony by then, he'd end up doing so drunk with the first mare he saw, which was likely to end up with either a slap, a night in jail, or some other equally embarrassing result.
Letting out another sigh, Mecha looked around town square, trying to see if he recognized anypony. Seeing no familiar faces, he just shook his head in exasperation, before thinking to himself, 'I'll just go through a list of mares I know and see if any of them would be willing to go with me, screw it if they already have a ticket. Twilight? Nah, she plans on chatting up princess Celestia. Rarity? No, hopes to hook up with Blueblood while there. Wonder if I should tell her that he's a total jerk and snob? Fluttershy is going with Big Macintosh, and Solaris would kill me if I went with Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie? No no no! Ugh, that'd be asking for trouble... Big M wouldn't let me go with Applejack, and she'd be to busy trying to sell apples anyways. Ditzy Do is going with Doc, and I'd sooner visit Hell again than go with my aunt... Which means...'
Sighing one last time, Mecha said to himself, “Well, she's nice and caring, I just hope this doesn't end up like any other first date... or like the last time I asked out a mare. That was just embarrassing...”
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Mecha was walking through market square, looking for his intended date, when he heard something he didn't want to hear, “YOU!”
Stopping in mid track, he muttered a quick prayer that it wasn't who he thought it was, before turning around. Seeing that his prayer went un-answered, he swore, saying, “Wrath's dagger thrown into Gluttony's deep fryer. Um, hey Nova, how's it going?”
Nova, a yellow unicorn with a purple mane and a supernova for a Cutie Mark, replied, “Well, since you GOT ME BANNED FROM MY FAVORITE RESTAURANT!”
Flinching, Mecha said, “To be fair, you did swing at that stallion first.”
Eye twitching, Nova said, “I don't think you get it. It's the principle of the matter. First date rule, if something goes wrong, it's the stallions fault. Now then, would you like to be pummeled, or would you prefer to explode?”
Resigned to his fate, Mecha told her, “Which ever choice is least likely to break my ribs. The doc at the hospital has been all up in my case after breaking them three times already.”
Nodding her head, Nova said, “Death beam it is then,” before her horn gave off a glow, an orb of energy building up at the tip. After a moment, the orb transformed into a laser, ramming into Mecha, while leaving a trench in the road.
“I regret nothing!” Mecha yelled out, until he hit a tree and was knocked unconscious.
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Mecha was standing next to a giant... thing, which was covered by an even larger cloth, grinning to himself, when Pinkie Pie suddenly showed up and asked, “Whatcha' doooin?”
Not even reacting to Pinkie Pie, having gotten used to her antics, Mecha said, “I plan on using a giant billboard to ask out the mare I hope to bring to with me to the Gala.”
Pinkie Pie merely sat down, going, “Ooooooh. But uh, why don't you try asking her in person?”
Eye twitching, Mecha replied, “Because when I tried to do that earlier, I ended up running into failed first date number 24, aka Nova. She blasted me across town, and left a trench at least five feet deep in the town. I'm worried that if I tried that approach again, that I'll come across another mare who I've had a failed first date with, or worse, one of my ex's, especially since Nova was one of the... tamer mares I've tried to date.”
Pinkie Pie blinked saying, “That's were the trench came from! And that was a tame mare? I sure wouldn't want to meet one of the wilder ones then!” Suddenly, her tail started twitching, causing her to panic, before ducking under a nearby bench.
“Yeah, that you wouldn't... or at least, not while I'm around,” Mecha said. Getting no reply, he looked for her, before hearing a whoosh sound. Looking up in the sky, he saw a meteor the size of a soccer ball rushing towards his still covered billboard. Sighing, Mecha muttered, “Does the universe not want me to ask her out or something?” as the meteor collided with the billboard, demolishing it beyond recognition.
“No silly!” Pinkie Pie said, back to standing next to Mecha. “It's just the fact that the author realized that he made a thing out of you and your friends getting drunk every poker night and then asking out your dates, and since he doesn't know if the author who owns Solaris even wants him to be paired with anypony and wants to do Shining Armor's date asking scene later, meaning it's your turn!”
Caught totally off guard, Mecha turned to face Pinkie and asked, “What did you say?”
“I said,” Pinkie Pie started, “that it would appear so!”
Blinking, Mecha said, “That sounds about right,” before walking off, trying to come up with one more way to try and score his date before poker night.
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Mecha glanced around, and saw the mare he was looking for. Fiddling with the megaphone in front of him, Mecha picked it up, working up his courage. Shining Armor and Solaris would be here any minute, meaning the was his last chance before succumbing to the curse of drunken humility that seemed to follow poker night. Taking in a deep breath, he was about to turn on the megaphone when a flash of light occurred above him, dropping his two friends on top of him, as well as breaking his megaphone. Groaning, Mecha heard Solaris say, “I told you I could do the teleportation route with my eyes closed!”
Shining Armor stood up, shaking, and replied, “Yes, and I said I believed you. You didn't have to actually do it with your eyes closed! You ended up reporting us next to a rampaging hydra halfway here, and then landed us under a sleeping Ursa Major!”
Chuckling a little while blushing, Solaris replied, “Um... oops?”
Sighing, Shining Armor said, “Don't worry about it, but I'm teleporting us home, got it?” Looking around, he noticed Mecha twitching on the ground, and asked, “Uh, are you okay?”
Still twitching, Mecha got up and said, “Fine, just fine. I'll explain after I've gotten a drink or two in me, okay?” and started walking towards his home.
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“So, at this point,” Mecha said, telling another one of his many failed attempts at romance, “I turn to her and ask, in front of the whole school, if she'd go to prom with me.”
“This doesn't sound to bad,” Doctor Whooves said, taking a sip from his hard cider.
“Yeah, I mean, what's the worst she could do, turn you down in front of the school?” Solaris added.
“Well, she did that,” Mecha said, “and then said she was a lesbian. In fact, she said the whole school knew she was a lesbian, and apparently I was being a bigoted jerk by asking her out in front of the school, at which point she began to unleash her years of karate training on me, with the school staff supporting her actions with me being the bigot that I was.”
Laughing at their friends misery, Shining Armor asked, “So what was up with the twitching earlier?”
Sighing, Mecha took a swig from his drink, saying, “Well, Doctor Whooves ended up with an extra ticket, and so gave it to me since I gave it to him in the first place. Now, at this point, I realized that my only option is to use it to get a date for the gala, as it takes months to legally and safely sell a ticket due to its value, and remembered that tonight is poker night, meaning that I'd end up drunk and asking a random mare. To avoid it, I've been trying to ask out my hopeful date all day, to no success, which means that we'll be getting piss drunk later and I'll end up asking then.”
Looking at his pile of chips, Shining Armor asked, “Can we get piss drunk later? I'm actually winning for a change.”
Mecha shrugged, saying, “Sure.”
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Big Macintosh was recounting his first date with Fluttershy to his friends, and was wrapping up with, “And that was when we noticed that we were bein' followed.”
“Really?” Solaris asked. “By who?”
Thinking back, Big Macintosh said, “Ah believe ah saw my sister and her friends, minus miss Sparkle, as well as Spike and this big lug,” pointing at Mecha for the last part.
Roaring with laughter, Shining Armor said, “You really followed Big Macintosh one his first date Mecha?”
Blushing, Mecha said, “Yeah, well, I had nothing better to do...”
Chuckling, Shining Armor replied, “Sure sure... oh! Before I forget, nice job with that suit of armor! How'd you get it that shade of blue?”
Thinking hard, Mecha said, “I... don't recall at the moment. Too drunk.”
“Blasphemy!” Solaris shouted. “It's poker night! How can you be too drunk?!”
Mecha blinked, and said, “You don't understand, I'm too drunk to remember anything right now, not to drunk for poker night. Although, at this point, I'd say we're drunk enough for our somehow established tradition of drunken tomfoolery.”
Glancing around at the table, and seeing the piles of bottles laying nearby, Big Macintosh said, “Eeyup.”
Chuckling, Solaris spoke as they got up, saying, “You almost always say that dude, don't you get tired of it?”
Thinking while dragging the cooler with the remaining hard cider behind him, Big Macintosh responded with “Eenope.”
Laughing, Mecha said, “Does it really matter?” a he walked out the front door, stumbling a little. Looking around, he noticed a crowd had formed in front of his house. “Umm.... what are all of you doing here?”
“It's poker night,” responded somepony in the crowd.
“I know,” Mecha replied. “I host it. So why are you here?”
The crowd mumbled a bit, before the same pony shouted out, “You guys are fun to watch once you leave the house.”
Blinking, Mecha looked at his friends, all of whom shrugged their shoulders, before turning back to the crowd and asked, “Do any of you know where I can find...”
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Mecha and his friends stumbled into Sugarcube Corner, where the mare Mecha had been trying to ask out all day was waiting for her order, the last one of the day. Turning to see him, she responded, “Mecha! What a surprise. What are you... are you drunk?”
Swaying a little, Mecha replied, “Eeyup. It's the poker night curse, tradition, or whatever you want to call it. Tried to avoid it, but after Nova hit me with her death ray, a meteor hit my plan B, and then those two,” he waved towards Shining Armor and Solaris, “Crashed on top of me, ruining plan C.”
“Okay... what where you trying to do?”
“This,” Mecha said, before clearing his throat, “Cheerilee, I happen to have an extra ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala,” here, Mecha stopped, blinking, before turning to Doctor Whooves and yelling, “I told you I could still keep it straight while drunk!”
To which Doctor Whooves replied with, “Go suck an egg!”
Chuckling, Mecha turned back to face Cheerilee, saying, “Where was I... oh yeah! I have an extra ticket, and was wondering if you'd be willing to go with me?”
Caught off guard, Cheerilee asked, “Asking out mares while drunk is a tradition of poker night?”
Mecha nodded his head, saying, “I know, right? I mean, what's going to happen when all five of us have marefriends?”
Blinking, Cheerilee said, “And it works?”
Nodding his head even more vigorously than before, Mecha said, “Stuns me as well. After all, most of the time asking out a mare while drunk is a good way to get slapped.”
Quirking her head in thought, Cheerilee asked, “What do you suppose would happen if I told you to ask me again when you're sober?”
Mecha shrugged, saying, “I dunno. Most likely case is that every time I try, I'll be thwarted like I was today, possibly in increasingly violent ways, until next poker night and we end up in this situation again.”
Raising an eyebrow, Cheerilee said, “That's an awfully detailed analysis for a drunk pony.”
Chuckling, Mecha replied with, “I wrote it down on my leg before I started drinking.”
Leaning in to see the writing on his metallic leg, Cheerilee said, “Well, I don't want you to end up getting hurt trying to ask me out again, and if you're right, and we'd just end up in this situation, I might as well give you the answer I'd give you if you were sober. Sure, I'll go.”
Grinning like a mad pony, Mecha turned to face the guys, and said, “She said yes guys!”
With a hur-rah, they grabbed him and started to walk out, with Mecha shouting, “I'll talk it over with you more tomorrow, this is the first time we haven't all passed out shortly after getting a yes!”
Blinking, Cheerilee grabbed her order, before following the drunk friends and the mob following them to the town square, where the five all gathered around a cooler, and started to sing:
“I'm not a fan of puppeteers but I've a nagging fear
someone else is pulling at the strings
Something terrible is going down through the entire town
wrecking anarchy and all it brings...*”
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Mecha woke up, and looked around. Big Macintosh was still passed out on a bench, with Doctor Whooves sleeping underneath it. Solaris was up against a nearby fountain, while Shining Armor was sleeping in a tree. Blinking, Mecha rubbed his eyes in an attempt to make himself more alert, when he noticed a hat laying next to the tipped cooler, filled with about ten bits. “Cool,” he said to himself, “we managed to make some money embarrassing ourselves this time.”
*Beginning of Discord, by EuroChaos? (As far as I can tell, that is who originally came up with it)