//------------------------------// // 071 - The Everyman // Story: Songs of the Spheres // by GMBlackjack //------------------------------// He… Who was he? He was a man. What kind of man he was… well, that was a significantly more complicated question that may not have had a definable answer. He was average, and yet anything but. The most ordinary individual you would ever pass on the street, and yet one who excelled at an innumerable number of things. He was… He was sitting at a table, all alone in a grand dining hall. The food was all set before him, cooked and prepared to perfection. The dishes were silver, the eating utensils ornate, and the glasses were all filled with wine. It was a feast fit for not just a king, but a king and his entire court. And yet here he was, eating all alone. A noble with a feast all to himself and no one to share it with. This, he decided, was pleasurable for taste – but otherwise boring. Best not to pay much attention to it; there were more pressing matters. He went elsewhere, deciding that taking a walk was a good idea. He walked along a suburban street, a newspaper under his arm with the year 2016 printed on it. He lazily glanced through the articles – there had been another terrorist attack on some European country. Terrible news, to be sure, but it was somewhat undercut by the article below it about the newest dangerous teen craze: Frisbee golf. Of all the absurd things he had seen in his life, that was… pretty mundane, to be truthful. He briefly wondered if he was the type to take up Frisbee golf… He stopped at a school, a smile crossing his face. The kids marched in for the start of the school day, moving like the ordered pawns of production they were being trained to be. Perfect. He was going to be late for his meeting. He took off at a run down the sidewalk, arriving in record time to the first floor of an office building. “Isaac Rowan, here for an interview,” he told the receptionist, breathing heavily, but not as heavily as someone who just ran a block should have been. He was soon in an elevator, heading to his meeting. He checked his wristwatch – he didn’t know why he did, he knew he was late. But he would easily be able to wow them with his skills. It was never that difficult. He trotted out the door of his house into the sunshine of Ponyville, sniffing the air with his muzzle. Such a different existence, he pondered, feeling the delicate blades of grass beneath his hooves like they were something novel. It was certainly a good day for a walk. The houses of Ponyville passed by his senses. It was a mostly standard Ponyville with a crystal castle that belonged to Twilight Sparkle, but there was some evidence of Merodi involvement with the presence of a few humans, not to mention cell phones. He would have to be careful here, they could grow suspicious. On the other hand, when he sat down at his office in the school, he found himself at ease. He sipped a cup of dark coffee and tapped his fingers on the desk, smiling to himself as he thought of his experiments in his nice, secret compartment. Of particular interest was his pet project – a beautiful red gem of arcane power. Something rather rare here, he knew. If it existed at all. He wasn’t quite sure about that, given his position as a lowly high school professor, but it was for this same reason that he didn’t care about being unsure. It was a good feeling, being carefree. A very good feeling. He stepped out of the elevator into a meeting with a large number of people in black suits who should have intimidated everyone. He wasn’t – this was nothing new to him. So little was. “Mister Rowan…” one of them said, little more than a blur in his thoughts. “How would you describe yourself?” “Studious, hardworking, and very knowledgeable,” he answered. The first one was technically a lie, but that was only because he had virtually nothing left to study. “In that case, as a test, describe the Variation of Constants method for solving a differential equation.” He did just that. He also walked up to a version of Pinkie Pie. “Oh hey there broo! How’s the daydreamin’ goin?” the Pinkie known as Dinkie asked. “Good, thanks,” he – no she – said, smiling warmly. “Always with my head in the clouds, as you say, but it’s good to come out to be grounded in reality once in a while.” “Ay, Icey, Broo, don’t sweat it. Sometimes I just wanna summon demons, but I don’t because it wouldn’t be fun, you know?” “I know,” she said, smiling and looking at Celestia's sun. The chandelier over the feast was just as bright as that sun, if not brighter. But it was just the way he liked it, illuminating all the food before it went into his mouth just perfectly. It was a beautiful taste that he wanted to share. “Mister Rowan? You seem distracted.” He looked at his hands and smiled. “Apologies. I guess I just felt like I was somewhere else for a moment and got distracted by the wonderful food there.” A few of them laughed, thinking it was a joke. Oh, if only they knew. If only they knew the lives he lived. He wasn’t just ‘Isaac Rowan’, nor was he just ‘Icey Row,’ nor just a nobleman, nor a school professor… He was much more. He was the Everyman. He continued to give a presentation of his skills to the business people. It took him a moment to remember precisely who they were – a large law firm he couldn’t remember the name of who wanted a genius to tell them what was what and when. Lucky for them he had decided he was interested in this life. As he explained the complex mathematical equations to the old men and how they related to law, he was also reading a book on the subject in at least seven other lives simultaneously, all taking a bit of their free time to feed him the bonus knowledge he needed. Strictly speaking, it was possible to do this without the books, as he was a lawyer somewhere else. But there was something to be said for the exhilaration of doing it on the fly with a particular set of predetermined resources. It was clearly working; they loved him and his presentation. He glanced at the newspaper again, finding himself thinking about the lesson of the day. As a professor, he needed to teach science. Was he in the mood to teach them something several centuries ahead of their time, possibly create a genius in the process? …Nah, he had other work here. Wasn’t like he could do anything about the meeting here – or even care about the meeting for a business in another life. The school bell rang. He got up and went to his classroom on autopilot, but he was hardly thinking about the lesson anymore, because something interesting had just happened elsewhere, something that tickled his scientific mind. Another life had just been changed drastically, gaining a gem in the middle of his forehead. It was in a world with humans of colorful skin much like the one where he was a professor, a world where magic had just been changed. He looked in the archives of Celestia City – a simple universal search for the one of his bodies serving as an Expeditions Agent. Here, she was a cute auburn-haired girl who had a slight obsession with magical hats. She ran down to one of the primary consoles and logged in, performing a search. Ah, yes, Equis Shimmer. It looked like another world had experienced the exact same change sometime in the past, a world with him in it nonetheless. He took in the air in Equis Shimmer, appreciating a world of evolved human magic, realizing for the first time that he hadn’t recognized the change when it had first happened. And that time, there’d been nothing in the rest of him to tell him what to make of it. The newly-changed life was informed that his world had just gone through a magical evolution, like another world before it. He decided he was going to become a powerful wizard, and in an instant he had all the knowledge he needed to do so. That world’s version of Sunset Shimmer was going to have a handful to deal with very shortly. “Broo? Why you giggling?” “Oh, just a fun daydream,” she said, winking at Dinkie. “A godlike being is going to find a wrench thrown into her plans that’s completely out of context, and she has no context by which to stabilize herself.” “…Broo, you lost me.” “I know,” he said, wrapping up his presentation for the businessmen. “It’s a lot to take in, but I think I would be a good choice for you.” “You’re hired,” the oldest man there said. “Welcome to the firm.” The Everyman smiled. “Thank you.” And then his grand feast was interrupted, starting a whole new chain of events that pushed the second Equis Shimmer to the background, creating something new for the Everyman to ponder. The front doors of the dining hall opened, revealing four individuals whom more than a few of his lives knew about. Pinkie Pie, Jotaro, Vriska, and Flutterfree. He processed this – where was Nova? Nova was on maternity leave for her pregnancy. Ah, shame. She could have been a welcome addition to the feast. “I welcome you to my table!” he said, jovially. All the while, he was making efforts to know exactly who each of them were. Flutterfree, pegasus, quasi-vampire, and Stand user. He knew from prior experience that Lolo had minimal effect on him, though that was only the automatic effect. Not only that, but there were other variables at play limiting the Stand’s effectiveness so long as she didn’t use it actively. As a person she had the highest moral code he was aware of – at least one that a person managed to stick to consistently. Vriska, now there was a name the Everyman had a mixed relationship with. When you were as everywhere as he was, the immortal dimensional traveler types tended to pop up over and over again in exceedingly nosy ways. She had ruined and saved many of his lives, producing not only a complex, contradictory feeling, but also a mild annoyance at her continued presence in his lives. At the moment he decided he would be friendly toward her and her actions, but he really found her annoying. Jotaro, a quiet man the Everyman knew little about… Except in that one universe where he was Jotaro, or the local equivalent of Jotaro. It took no time at all to understand the man – deep, brooding, self-righteous, heroic, and softer than he ever wanted to show. Naturally, this Jotaro would be slightly different – a man with a deep care for family and friendship, one who had been softened by years of adventures with those close to him – but the Everyman could easily extrapolate from incomplete data. Pinkie would be the problem. No matter how many lives he lived, he was never Aware like she was. But he had picked up a few tricks over time. He knew instantly that not only did she know what he was, but she couldn’t say anything about it to her friends. Simply delightful – that would make for quite the fun dynamic. And here he thought this life was just here to enjoy succulent food for all the others. The four explorers glanced at each other, shrugged, and sat at the table, Pinkie fixing the Everyman with a steely gaze. “What’s your name?” she asked. “Isaac Rowan,” he answered. It was the closest he had to a name – though, really, it was just the most common name he had. There were many different offshoots of the Everyman who thought the name Isaac was decidedly stupid. He found himself proud of it at the moment. “Icey Row,” she said, turning away from Dinkie. “That’s my name.” “…Yeah it is broo!” “I’m going to go walk over here, hope you don’t mind.” “Not at all, broo! Just watch out for Rainbow Dash! I hear she’s out and about!” “I’ll keep that in mind,” she said with a wink, walking across the street. She watched, curiously, a group of interdimensional explorers talking to the local Rarity – Mattie. Mattie, a unique version of Rarity who was decidedly Aware. She needed to be careful around her, lest she tip her hand. Mattie had a knack for completely disregarding rules and regulations for the sake of being jarring and ‘comedic’. She likely wouldn’t notice anything so long as the Everyman kept her distance, which was fine by the Everyman’s standards. Mattie was talking to the League of Sweetie Belles – Thrackerzod, Bot, Squeaky, Allure, and Minna, Allure’s child. The information the Everyman had on the four members of the League was extensive – eldritch being trapped in a body of a unicorn, living an eternal paradox designed to get her to understand. Bot, a machine constructed by… by… by an unknown inventor of Equis Smooze, eternally suck in the body of a filly and with a mentality that never quite matured. Squeaky, a general who had left her world behind after the war ended, taking her time to just enjoy life and offer wisdom gleaned from her hard life. Allure, the Sweetie of Equis Vitis, the unofficial leader of the entire League, and recently the adoptive mother of Minna. The Everyman could find nothing on Minna. She was certain the human girl was more than she seemed, but a cursory ping of all the lives produced nothing on her. Concerning. But not exactly something to be afraid of. It just meant she had to proceed with caution. After all, in this life, she liked ponies, and new ponies even more so. The League stopped talking with Mattie and set out on their own – probably to leave the universe. That just wouldn’t do, there was still so much they could see and experience! “Hey, wait up!” she called, waving them down. “Hm?” Allure said, looking up. “Who’re you?” “I’m Icey Row!” she declared, beaming. “And you look new around here.” “Eh, not really, we visit regularly,” Squeaky offered. “I haven’t noticed you before though! …I do have my head lost in the clouds a lot though, so that might be my fault.” She chuckled. “I’d like to show you around our world, if you don’t mind! You’d be surprised with some of the things we have around here!” Thrackerzod raised an eyebrow. “I thought you just had an entire town owned by Jack and a problem with being racist to the point of stupid comedy.” “…There’s more stuff out here! Look, we’re setting up for the Festival of Dreams!” She gestured with her hoof to a bunch of star-shaped banners and balloons spread around town. “That wasn’t there two minutes go,” Thrackerzod observed. “It’s Equis Ultra Fast, stop asking questions,” Allure said with a chuckle. “Minna, would you like to stay for the Festival of Dreams?” Minna smiled. “Yeah! …What’s a Festival of Dreams?” The Everyman laughed. “Oh, it’s just a festival where we celebrate dreams. That’s about it. I can show you the individual events and what to do with the special dream fireworks though. I wouldn’t look too closely at them though, knowing our universe there’s probably an innuendo or racist joke buried in them somewhere.” “Or both,” Thrackerzod pointed out. “…Suddenly I’m having second thoughts about taking Minna to this festival,” Allure said, holding back. “You tell me,” the Everyman said, producing one of the fireworks. “Does this look bad?” “It looks like a normal firework.” “Then we’re golden!” Rainbow Dash crashed from out of the sky. “Have you seen my face!?” “It’s on your… face…” Allure said, shaking her head. “Duh! But where is it!?” “Uh…” The Everyman walked through the halls of the high school. He’d taught a good class – simple enough to be done in his sleep. Quite literally. The new way of things – sleep teaching on the fly! Brilliant! At the moment though, he wasn’t patting himself on the back – he was looking at a pair of new students in terror. They were quite clearly Corona and Olivia from the courts of Lai – no other version of Sunset would wear exactly those kinds of gloves and be friends with a white-haired girl in a dress with jagged purple lines. They may have looked like regular students, but that was definitely them. This was bad. Lady Rarity’s team rarely did simple ‘exploration’, though it wasn’t unheard of. What they usually did was undertake specific missions to accomplish specific goals. They were probably here for a reason, especially since they seemed to be blending in with the teenage crowd of the world, bothering with age spells even. Hardcore. There was a chance they were here for some reason other than him, but he doubted it. He had secrets in this life, secrets he’d like to keep hidden. Olivia herself was enough of a problem, and had he made extensive use of computers in his secrets he was sure he would already be doomed. But he was careful in that department. Corona was a true nightmarish threat. If she touched him… She’d learn more than just this life’s secrets. She’d feel the Everyman. He honestly had no idea if her mind would even be able to handle that, but he had no desire to find out. He needed to do something to ensure all his plans went smoothly, and that nothing ruined the great science he was undertaking. He left the meeting, a new job in hand. It appeared as though another life needed a significant boost to his mental faculties. No matter – this life could just stare mindlessly at a TV for the rest of the day with absolutely no negative consequences. Shunt it all to the professor. He rubbed his hands together – Corona wasn’t going to find anything. Why? Because he was going to investigate them. If he could just expose their cover… It would be difficult, but since when was anything worthwhile easy? …A lot of things, given what he was, but that was beside the point. Hard things felt better. Plus, he was particularly fond of this life; mad scientist schoolteacher was a fun one. Couldn’t let it come crashing down without a little fight… “Fights are interesting things, aren’t they?” Pinkie said, aggressively drinking a glass of wine. Her teammates had no idea why she was doing this, but they trusted her enough to just give her odd looks and not say anything. The Everyman knitted his eyebrows – she was going to be an interesting one to spar with. “Indeed they are, as I’m sure our friend Jotaro can attest to. I see within him a man familiar with the act of getting his fists dirty. Fights can come in many arenas – hand to hand, mind to mind, or even across a table over a dinner with nothing but words. Or, perhaps, even at a school where one side is unaware of the battle even being set.” Pinkie twitched. “Oddly specific.” “I knew you’d appreciate it,” he said, eating another leg off the golden-brown turkey. “…Where the hell do you keep pulling those chicken legs from?” Vriska asked. “I’ve seen a lot more than two.” “Turkey,” the Everyman corrected. “Turkey legs.” “Fine then, mister actually, where do the turkey legs come from?” “The turkey.” “Can I punch him?” “Vriska!” Flutterfree chided. “He is letting us eat his food and treating us as esteemed guests. Don’t be so rude.” “Hmph. I don’t trust it. Does anyone remember how we got here?” Jotaro shook his head. “No.” The Everyman leaned in – best throw them off the trail for now, just to make things interesting. “There is this curious effect of forgetting how you got somewhere when you walk through doorways. It is a phenomenon heavily accentuated by the doorframe at the front of this hall. Trace your steps back far enough and I’m sure you’ll remember you came through a portal in the courtyard.” “…I do remember that, now that I think about it,” Jotaro said. “…Yeah,” Vriska muttered, sitting back in her chair. “The guy’s right.” The Everyman was giving Minna a ponyback ride. “There’s a funny thing about memory, Allure,” she said. “Oh, what’s that?” “You can often just suggest a memory to someone, and their mind will fill in the blanks and think it’s real. It has to be done right of course, but with the correct stimuli and vagueness you can make people believe things really happened to them.” “Wow. Are we really that gullible?” “Watch this,” she said with a smile. “Hey Squeaky!” “Hm?” Squeaky said. “Allure was just telling me about that time you were at the supermarket and couldn’t find any soup. Quite the funny story how you spent hours searching around looking for the soup aisle only to find that they were just on a shelf a little too high for you too see, huh?” “…Yeah, that was a really lame day,” Squeaky said. “…Though you told it kinda bad. There was actually more to it than that. There was this blue stallion…” “…Holy Celestia, that’s creepy,” Allure asid. “What?” “That never happened, Squeaky. Icey here just planted a false memory in your head.” “…Dammit, I’m supposed to be immune to that because of my training.” “Squeaky!” Allure said, covering Minna’s ears with her magic. Squeaky blushed. “Sorry! I was surprised!” “It’s a bit much to take in, sometimes,” the Everyman said. “Our minds are foolish organs so often. It’s really easy to trick them because of all the shortcuts they take to streamline processing.” “Are we safe?” Olivia asked Corona. Of course not, the Everyman thought from the ventilation system. But you don’t know that. “Pretty sure,” Corona said, glancing around. “It’s like the dark hallway back in Canterlot High. Nobody ever comes here if they have a choice.” She pressed a button on the side of her sunglasses. “A visual search of the premises has shown nothing, Rarity.” “The stuff is definitely here though,” Olivia added. “Scans are giving off odd readings. …Not exactly the same as the stolen items but close enough. It could look like this with only mild tampering and interference.” “We’re still looking,” Corona added. “But nothing seems suspicious yet. Just a normal school. Yes I know how stupid that sounds knowing the world I spent most of my education, but you get the point. It may take some time to dig stuff up.” You won’t get very far. This isn’t enough to accuse you of anything, but it’s a start. “I’m going to start searching with stronger magic,” Corona reported. “Should be able to trace the signature with enough time.” That was both good and bad. Good because public magic was a way to get the government called on her. Bad because she might be able to find his secret – and he couldn’t have that. He needed to protect his secrets above all else… Corona nodded slowly at something Lady Rarity said. “Over and out then. Check in soon.” She closed the connection. “Keep doing what we’re doing. How’s the security feed?” “Well I just discovered a glaring problem. This world may be obsessed with security in schools, but they haven’t put cameras in the air vents.” The Everyman tensed as Corona turned to look at the grating he was hiding behind. He needed to move, and move fast. He took a moment to stop casting spells and look at his horn, quickly calculating the adjustments from unicorn magic to human magic in a low-arcane realm. In an instant, he was no longer in the vent in front of Corona, but on the other side of the school. He scowled – she was going to be able to sense that magic. Perhaps not trace it, but it was a clue for them. A clue he would rather have not let them have. “We really need to patent this,” Vriska said. “Infinite drumsticks.” Flutterfree raised an eyebrow. “Patents mean almost nothing, Vriska.” Vriska folded her arms. “Our legal system is confusing…” “Saves us a lot of trouble though.” The Everyman leaned in, taking yet another drumstick. “Laws? You are from a society?” “Oh, right, can’t believe we forgot to do that,” Pinkie said, hitting herself in the forehead. “I guess we just figured you already knew. But that’d be crazy.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re not being very subtle,” Jotaro commented. “Shush. You’re not supposed to notice.” “If anyone were to notice it would be him,” the Everyman said, folding his arms. “He has the eyes of the eagle and the mind of a tactician. He’ll piece anything together given enough time.” Jotaro nodded. “Why don’t you let us hear a bit of what’s in that mind of yours?” Jotaro tossed a drumstick onto the table. “None of this food is real.” “What gave you that idea?” “The infinite duplication was a good indicator, but it’s more than that. I’m not getting full. Every time I bite into the drumstick the taste is identical, like it’s copied from some kind of template.” “Brilliant deduction, Jotaro.” He laid his hands on the table, raising an eyebrow. “Now what is the conclusion you draw?” “We’re in a dreamworld,” Jotaro decreed. “We’re too aware and consistent to actually be dreaming, so we must actually be in such a world.” The walls of the hall fell back, revealing a conglomeration world composed of beautiful sunsets, pristine night skies, and numerous floating buildings. One of these said buildings had a clock melting off its side. Another was burning to cinders. “Precisely. It is indeed a dreamworld – but a very dangerous one at that. Once you’re aware of what it is, it has a direct in to your mind. If you can’t control your own thoughts, it will go out of control.” “Uh-oh,” Pinkie said. “Everybody don’t think about cats!” Suddenly there were cats everywhere, even on the food. The Everyman took another bite, not caring for the possible danger of cat hair – so long as he kept his own thoughts under control, he would not be affected. They would have to deal with their dreams, and he would watch, getting quite the show out of it. Pinkie’s attempt to get them to think about cats was a good one, but her team was smart enough to realize what she was doing – and realize that there really were things they weren’t supposed to think about. Pinkie had control over her mind, or was using some sort of meta-awareness to keep the dreamworld’s nature at bay. But Jotaro, Flutterfree, and Vriska couldn’t. Dio appeared, grinning. “Hey Jotaro! I keep coming back and there’s nothing you can do about it! WRYYYYYYY!” A full-vampire Flutterfree appeared next to him, blood eternally dripping from her mouth and hooves. She screeched. In front of Vriska, another troll appeared – one with a teal Libra symbol on her shirt and a sword in her hand. She spoke with a nasally voice that would have been funny if it wasn’t so threatening. “Hey Vriska. No offense, but you need to die. Actually, scratch that, take as much offense as you want.” Vriska clenched her fist. “Fuck… Terezi…” “Flutterfree…” Jotaro said. “Lolo’s not doing anything!” Flutterfree blurted, spreading her Stand out as much as she could. “All it does is tell me they’re fabrications! It’s not making them vanish!” The Everyman folded his hands. “That’s because this dream world physically creates the things within your mind. I’m able to stay completely fixated upon this feast, so that’s what I get. You all have things in the back of your mind that come to the front when you don’t want to think. By the way, you all just lost the game.” “FUCK YOU!” Vriska shouted. “FUCK YOU IN PARTICULAR!” Terezi rushed to stab her in her distraction. “STAR PLATINUM: THE WORLD!” “ZA WARUDO!” Jotaro managed to kick Terezi out of the way with his leg while Star Platinum blocked The World. This did not stop Dio from grabbing Jotaro physically, starting to drain his blood. Jotaro recoiled, forcing Dio’s hand out of him, but Dio got one last hit in, freezing that part of Jotaro’s body. “And time resumes,” they both said at once. Flutterfree tied her vampire self up in Lolo and Vriska kicked Terezi in the shins. All of the enemies recovered completely. “You need to stop thinking about how they can win,” the Everyman suggested. “Or just use excessive force!” Pinkie shouted, hitting all three of them with a hammer. “Won’t work. They’re still thinking ‘what if they get back up?’ Sad, but true.” “Help us!” “Why should I?” the Everyman asked. “I have no say in what you think. Even with a controlled mind I can’t remove your dreams. I could merely scramble them temporarily.” “You know what I mean,” Pinkie muttered. “But that is a secret.” “It won’t be for long.” “…What?” “Go check out the professor for a moment, get smarter.” The Everyman looked around in a panic at his secret laboratory – dozens of pieces of technology ‘stolen’ from other universes were kept here, behind this magic door in the school. Magic wands, nanobot command centers, a few alien pieces of fruit… He didn’t particularly care for any of these, they were just materials for his true work. A red star-shaped crystal levitated in the middle of a high-power electromagnetic field, at least one bolt of electricity hitting the crystal at every moment. It was certainly painful, but the only way to ensure his creation stayed where it was. He had been using devices and knowledge from other universes to create this crystal device, which would allow him to channel magic much more effectively on a much larger scale, even in universes like this where magic was almost nothing! The only problem was that the mind within the crystal device was broken – it would lash out at everything, including him. It couldn’t be controlled yet. It still needed work. That said, everything else about it was complete – the power, the computing systems, the magic… He was so close; he couldn’t let this be destroyed now. He cackled – all he had to do was act normal until he had something on Corona and her team. Oh, there was an idea – they probably weren’t even recorded as students! He carefully left the secret room and went to the principal's office, taking out the list of students. Temporary Transfer Students: Cassandra Zimmerman and Olivia Velazquez. That was a bust. What else could he do to them without raising suspicion? He’d just have to watch and find out. The Everyman felt her horn tingle. She rubbed her head. “Icey?” Minna asked. “What’s wrong?” “Oh, nothing, just a daydream a bit close to home that requires a bit of my attention.” “That’s not how daydreams work!” The Everyman chuckled. “It’s how mine do. I’m probably a little crazy, but it works for m- ow.” She rubbed her head. “Yeah, this one’s demanding my attention…” Allure noticed she was rubbing her head. “You doing okay?” “I’ve got a little headache… Excuse me.” “You can’t shut your horn off can you?” I could, but someone else needs it right now. “…Apparently not.” Allure shook her head. “We need to get you to a hospital. Sorry Minna, we’ll have to cut this festival short.” Minna understood. “We’ll get you better Icey! Hospitals always do that! They’re the best.” Instead of being afraid of hospitals, she finds them comforting. Interesting. They began to lead her away. In many ways, this was good – she could start operating on autopilot and look a little out of it. It would make the doctors actually wonder if something was up. They would never find evidence of the Everyman, but it would keep them from demanding her attention. She really wished she wasn’t in a world so close to the professor life – she’d prefer one where his little plight wouldn’t even register due to the distance. The Everyman was very glad his unicorn life was nearby – regretfully that experience was going to have to be muddled for the sake of a longer-term experiment. Plus, it might be worthwhile to consider playing a clinically insane role over there. He sat in the cafeteria, eating a sandwich. He observed Corona and Olivia closely as they did their cafeteria research. The watchers were being watched, as it were. Then the watcher of the watchers was noticed. They saw him looking at them and exchanged a few words he couldn’t hear. They started walking over to him. He tensed – but he couldn’t visibly tense for them, so he shafted the tense emotions to his other lives. In Ponyville, this made no visible change, but in the world with Pinkie it did. He started losing his grip on his table of food in his mind’s eye, an image of a broken red crystal starting to form instead. “Frick,” he said, the fork melting out of his hand. Jotaro suplexed Dio right into the Everyman, crashing the table. That was the final straw – the table vanished completely, leaving only the cracked red gem. A ring of magic surrounded it, blasting Vriska right through her brain. It was a decidedly un-Just and non-Heroic death, so she came back in a few seconds – but it was enough to grab everyone’s attention. “We could really use Nova for this one…” “STAR PLATINUM: THE WORLD!” The Everyman smiled warmly at Corona and Olivia. “Ah, the new students! Welcome!” “Mind if we sit here?” Corona asked. “Trying to get to know the teachers.” “I don’t mind at all!” He took a bite of his sandwich – it really wasn’t anything compared to the infinite drumsticks. “So, where are you from?” “Denver,” Corona said. “Mexico City,” Olivia added with a smirk. “Well, that was where I was born. More recently Salt Lake City.” “Mexico City must have been an interesting place.” “Oh, it was, but I’m sure you know how high the crime is there. I was not sad to leave that place. Adios, cartels!” “Where are you from?” Corona asked. “A little here, a little there. Born in Topeka, actually. Not as boring as they say but ‘boring’ is still an apt description.” “You’re the science teacher, right?” The Everyman nodded, smirking. “Why yes! My theories are wasted here, however.” “I bet you have some fun experiments going on behind the scenes, huh?” “Of course. I’ve got several rods full of neon gas in the labroom. Noble gases have many interesting effects as I’m sure you can understand.” Corona leaned in. “Have you, by chance, picked up any unusual energy readings around here?” “Picking up ‘unusual energy readings’ is an absurd concept hardly based in reality. What do you mean? Radiation? Electromagnetism?” “Anything, really,” Corona said. “Like the things I’m getting off this little device I have in my hand.” His cry of pained surprise was shunted to his other self, worrying Allure and Minna. “What is that device?” “A scanner. A scanner for magic. A scanner for magic that pegs you with a particular magic signature. A particular magic signature that matches a teleport we recently found.” “I have no idea what yo-” Corona tried to grab him with her bare hand. That could not happen. The Everyman put all the focus he possibly could into the professor’s life, pushing the others even more over the edge. The doctors felt the need to put her in an MRI machine. The dreamworld fell into a nightmare completely dominated by the red crystal and a laughing, maniacal version of Corona. Dio, Terezi, and evil Flutterfree were vaporized. The Everyman lashed out against Corona with magic, shoving her far away. Olivia pulled out her concealed weapon and fired, but the Everyman tapped into another life and summoned a gigantic sword into his hand that blocked the incoming fire. He summoned a magical hat to his head that increased his jumping ability tenfold. He rushed her, calculating everything out to the exact moment. A magic touch here, an slice here, and a shove there… Before Olivia knew what was happening, she had a cut across her midsection and a bruise on her head. “Olivia, stop fighting! It’s him, we just have to follow his signature backward!” The Everyman didn’t give Olivia a chance, an invisible concussive blast forcing her into unconsciousness. He didn’t waste time trying to actually kill her – he needed to get Corona out of the picture without letting her touch him. Corona ran down the hallway through the crowd of terrified, screaming kids. She followed the Everyman’s magic signature, but he knew that was exactly what she was doing. She found the entrance to the laboratory – a wall that didn’t appear to have a door, but actually did if one had magic sense. He was waiting inside with a giant laser gun. He fired. She blocked with something invisible… Her Stand. I need information. “WHAT IS CORONA’S STAND!?” she demanded. “What?” Allure blurted. “Something… something’s in my head! And it won’t go away unless I find the answer to that question!” The Everyman dodged a beam from Corona. Jotaro had to save the Everyman from the dream-Corona’s attack. “Wake up!” The Everyman did not respond. “Uh… Corona’s stand is Bacon Pancakes, a long range and short range mix Stand…” Allure said, panic evident in her voice. “The large section flattens people, the small bits pin them?” The Everyman tapped into a version of himself with Stand-sight, and he could see the red pins coming at him. He decided to go with Star Platinum, punching all the pins away in an instant. Then he froze time, punching her in the back. That should have broken her back – but it didn’t. She had too many magic defenses. Next move he needed anti-magic… “THAT DIDN’T WORK!” she blurted, to Allure. “That didn’t work!” “What’re Corona’s weaknesses?” Vriska asked. “Does she even have any?” Flutterfree asked, dodging another burst of overly-flashy magic. “Fire hates ice and water,” Jotaro observed, still holding the Everyman. “That doesn’t help us,” Vriska muttered. “It helps him,” Pinkie said, pointing at the Everyman. “Hey, focus completely on her if you want to win, okay?” “PINKIE!” “Deep… Chill…” The Everyman said, summoning ice to his fingers. Time had resumed, but he still had Star Platinum to take care of Bacon Pancakes. The anti-magic field was mostly working, but she had taken to using firebending against him. It would only be a matter of time until he found a combination of abilities that destroyed her. He was getting closer with each try. She might fall now… And then she teleported behind him. What was she doi- “NO!” “What can I do to help!?” Allure said in panic. Minna was crying. “What’s wrong with you!?” Vriska shouted. “We should really just let her shoot him!” Corona placed her bare hand around the red crystal. She had known she couldn’t beat the Everyman, but she had seen something in his creation. Something she could use. Impossible, it was a raging lunatic of a machine, how could she do anything with it!? “Calm yourself,” Corona said. “I know your life has been hard – but I can help you turn it around.” “Empathy… Of course…” “Stand by ready!” The crystal announced. “Thank you... Raging Sights,” Corona said, holding the crystal high. It reacted with her entire body and her red necklace. She floated into the air, engulfed in a powerful magic light. “THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME!” “Icey, snap out of it! Icey!” “Why is Corona suddenly getting bigger?” Flutterfree asked. Pinkie smiled. “Because the Everyman forgot to worry about what was behind him. He was busy focusing completely on Corona.” Clever pony. Corona’s body lost the false teenage appearance it had, converting back to that of a full-grown woman. Her hair extended itself down to her shins, the bacon-curls shining with even more luster than normal. Pony ears popped out of her head, twitching in the magical breeze. From the middle of her forehead a brilliant spiral horn sprang forth, punctuating the world with her magic. Two magnificent wings burst out from her back, the bright yellow feathers filling the air. The red crystal and her red necklace swirled around each other, both shifting to a shape similar to her cutie mark and taking positions on the backs of her hands. A white battle-dress formed around her body, red streaks flowing like fire. White gloves formed around her hands, along with matching boots on her feet. Her sunglasses became red and pointed, no longer the lenses that hid her face from the world, becoming instead a translucent accessory that accentuated her eyes for all to see. Bacon Pancakes summoned behind her, rotating slowly behind her head, the eight pins floating in the opposite direction. The Everyman stood his ground. He’d just have to reach into some higher, more destructive powers that might destroy the whole school. But now that she’d gotten it to work, he needed that crystal back. Corona rushed to him, placing a hand on his forehead. As she willed it, the fingertips of her white gloves vanished, allowing her to come in direct contact with him. And then the Everyman was singular. “…It’s been years since I had a single consciousness,” he said, looking at his hands. Corona looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “This isn’t exactly what I expected either.” She gestured at his mindscape. “Very gray.” “I’m the average of so many,” the Everyman said, beginning to pace. “So of course it would all consolidate into something neutral.” “Who are you?” “I am the Everyman.” “I got that,” Corona said, eyes narrow. “I can feel all your different bodies and your different lives, and how you’re all connected by some single thread. What I don’t get is who you are.” “I’m surprised you’re able to mentally handle even that.” Corona ruffled her wings. “I think I just did something a bit beyond what I normally do? I’m empathically connected with a machine intelligence that you’d tortured into insanity. Raging Sights was lashing out because of you. If you had treated it with kindness from the start, everything would have worked out for you.” “That was but one life. A mistake that singular one made,” the Everyman said, looking at nothing. “You cannot hold it to all of me.” “Why the hell not!?” “Because I do not attempt for consistency.” Images of his other lives appeared around them. “In this world, I am a pony and I strive to daydream and be kind to others. In this world, I am a curious man stuck in a dream world plagued by boredom. In this, I am a simple businessman. In this, I am an archivist for Celestia City, serving your people well with my efforts. In the world you were visiting, I was a high school professor who wanted to unlock the powers of magic in a world that didn’t naturally have much.” Corona narrowed her eyes. “But you’re not a hive-mind. You all are the same person, in a way.” “That is true.” A memory surfaced of a boy looking at a crossroads in a forest in the middle of winter. He didn’t know which way to go. He was immensely uncertain… And then there were two boys, each one going a different direction. “That’s where it began,” the Everyman said. “I was no longer Isaac Rowan. I was the Everyman. I eventually found that, in addition to splits, I ended up in universes where the past was different. Where people took different paths. Where I was a pony, or a woman, or otherwise.” He gestured around. “I am now spread so far across the multiverse that my collective consciousness cannot be consistent. So I stopped stressing over it. Sometimes I’m a criminal, other times I’m not. All my lives are their own, and yet they’re all me. In some I am the hero of a dozen worlds. In others I’m an omnicidal maniac. All of me has just learned to live with all the rest of me.” Corona looked at him, narrowing her eyes. “And yet you can consolidate into a single consciousness. I’m talking to it.” “Do I seem good? Evil? Chaotic? Ordered? Do I seem to have anything about me besides thoughts?” “…No.” “I am a truly neutral presence,” the Everyman said. “That said, I do have preferences and desires.” “Such as?” “I’d rather remain a secret. My existence is significantly freer if multiversal societies don’t know about me.” “No,” Corona sad. “No, I won’t keep your secret. I don’t care if some of your lives are heroes, people need to be able to defend against the part of you that is evil. The part that kills people.” “I’ve already terminated the ‘professor’ life, you don’t have to worry about what I did to you there anymore. I could give you much in return for keeping my secret. I could tell you any number of things.” He paused. “You want the secret to easy immortality, do you not?” Corona glanced at her wings, grimacing. “Yes.” “Will you submit to having knowledge of me scrubbed from your mind in exchange for it?” Corona looked him in the eyes. “No. I will find immortality on my own.” “You already have.” “For everyone else.” The Everyman narrowed his eyes. “I just want to live my lives in peace, Corona. Is that too much to ask?” “Yes. Because there are lives of yours I don’t accept.” “…I can attempt to kill you.” Corona raised her hand, a magic circle appearing around the red crystal there. She had no idea if it was Raging Sights or her necklace – probably a bit of both, if she was honest. “We’re not in the physical realm, Everyman. Your mind is strong. But you are currently only one mind here. I could destroy it.” “You might not succeed.” “Do you want to take that chance? I don’t even know how powerful I am right now. I’ll probably be forced to push the limit, and that could have a lot of interesting side effects.” “Is there no way I can cut a deal with you?” “None,” Corona asserted. “…Very well,” the Everyman said. “My secret is out. I would appreciate it if you did not reveal what I am in the cases where I am just trying to live a simple life that has nothing to do with you. It would be cruel to tear apart families.” Corona nodded slowly. “I’m not heartless. I’m just going to make sure everyone knows you exist.” “…A shame,” the Everyman said, shaking his head. “…Now, do you mind releasing my intelligence so I can wake all my lives up? They’re all currently catatonic and worrying a lot of people.” Corona nodded. “Okay.” She released him. He could no longer see her – he really had terminated the professor’s life because it was basically worthless now that the entire scenario had been destroyed. As an office worker, he kept watching television. As a man stuck in a dream, he realized Pinkie’s team had managed to leave the universe somehow, saving him in the process. As a pony, she realized the League and Minna were all worried about her, which filled her heart with joy. “I’m okay now. …Thanks for trying.” She shook her head. “Now… I think I’d like to sleep.” “…Okay,” Allure said. “I need to take Minna home anyway. Call if you need anything, okay? I can get it.” “Thanks.” “You’re welcome,” Pinkie said. “You’re lucky, you know.” He grunted. “I suppose…” “Corona went easy on you. Think of how much of Raging Sight’s insanity she must have absorbed into herself for that to work. Then she purged it. That couldn’t have been easy.” “No… No I suppose it wasn’t.” “Care to explain what you’re talking about?” Vriska asked. “Talk to Corona later, she’ll explain it better than me,” Pinkie said, helping the Everyman up. “Go find a new life for this one.” The Everyman nodded. “I will.” He walked off in a random direction, not sure what this new life was going to be. He eventually found a hotel run by fuzzy rodent creatures. They accepted him as one of their own. He just rolled with it, going to the bed and falling into it. She fell asleep, letting the stress of the day wash away. He turned off the TV and went to bed. There was nothing left for him to do. Elsewhere, the Everyman kept up an active set of lifestyles… But those here decided their day was done. The fatigue on them had been too much. The Hat Kid left the files to be managed by others, those in the versions of Earth Shimmer put their plans on hold, and one universe where he was a dog he decided to let the cat go for once. All because of one obsessive life, an insane crystal, and a fiery woman… ~~~ Nanoha picked up Raging Sights. The red crystal had retained the form of Sunset’s cutie mark even after being removed. “So, how did you enjoy your magical girl transformation?” “Not all that odd, to be honest. I’ve experienced things like it before. …Though I was never naked for a split second before…” Corona said. Even without Raging Sights on, she had retained the wings, horn, ears, and extended hair – though she had no special outfit or awesome red shades. “You’ll find it actually takes an instant to happen, and it’ll seem like less and less to you as time goes on,” Nanoha said, pushing Raging Sights back to her. “…You’re giving it back!?” “It’s merely a device based on our designs,” Nanoha said. “Of course it’s highly illegal to make one of these things, but you didn’t make it. You just found it. And you helped it come to terms with itself in, well, in an instant.” “It took a bit longer than that, mindscape-time,” Corona admitted. “Who cares? Raging Sights will want to stay with you. Princess.” Corona laughed. “Heheh… Yeah…” she ruffled her wings. “Celestia these things feel weird…” “There are many who would be glad to teach you how to use them. And I can teach you how to use this powerful Device. You are already an exceptionally powerful mage, Corona. With a Device and the power boost you just received, you have the power to rival me.” “Wait, what?” “Not only that, but I hear you know everything about the fundamental nature of physics?” Nanoha rubbed the back of her head. “I never studied that… I bet you could find a lot of bizarre tricks with all the math you know. Usually devices just handle complex calculations for the mage. But you already do complex calculations. Think about it.” “…I just became ‘OP as all hell’ didn’t I?” “You’ve still got to train a bit, but yeah, that’s a fair assessment.” Corona smirked. “Sweet.” “Take good care of Raging Sights. And Bacon Pancakes.” “I will!” Corona said, bowing. “Thanks for letting me keep it.” She lifted Raging Sights into the air, transforming into her dress, gloves, and awesome red shades. “…Nice.” “Your friends are waiting for you outside,” Nanoha said. Corona smirked. “This should be fun.” She strode out the double doors into the presence of Lady Rarity, Lieshy, Olivia, Toph… and Eve. “You look amazing,” Lady Rarity decreed. “Like a princess,” Eve said, walking up to Corona, smiling with pride. “…Luna and I had a talk.” “Oh?” “Princess Corona Sunset Shimmer, PhD, you have a coronation ceremony to attend.” “…I do?” “YOU DO!” Lieshy shouted, letting her excitement get the better of her. “You’re no longer stuck with the title Protégé!” Eve put a hoof on Corona. “…Celestia would have been proud of you.” “I… I… I can’t process this, give me a sec. What exactly did I do? I just forced wings to appear!” “That’s basically what I did,” Eve admitted. “I performed a great act of magic and became the Princess of Friendship. You performed a great act of empathy and understanding – not just with Raging Sights, but also with the Everyman.” “So what, Princess of Empathy? That sounds… Even cheesier than Friendship.” Eve smiled. “I don’t exactly have a title for you yet… But you’re our defender. Our guardian. A Princess of Fire, or Passion.” Corona smiled brightly. “I accept, on one condition.” “What’s that?” “I get to wear this all the time instead of trying to get into royal garb.” Eve let out a chuckle. “Condition granted.” “Oh, did you finally settle?” Olivia asked. Corona glanced at her wings. “Yeah… Yeah I think I did. I’m not a unicorn. I’m not a human. I’m this.” She spread her arms wide, lighting her horn and swiveling her fuzzy pony ears. “And boy does it feel good to be me.” Toph met Corona’s hand and the two of them clenched tightly. “I hope I still get to order you around.” “As the Princess of defending or something, I think my defense of Equestria can be done the best under your command, and part of Lady Rarity’s team. We will continue protecting Merodi Universalis from threats only we can deal with.” Lady Rarity let out a sigh of relief. “Good. I was afraid you were going to leave us for a moment there.” Corona pulled them all into a big hug. “Not today, girls. Not today.” ~~~ Corona’s coronation went much the way’s Twilight’s had gone. Luna introduced her to the world, there was a song sung about her, she got a crown, and she gave a speech to the ponies of Equis Vitis. The main difference was that she wasn’t an alicorn per se, and that there were a lot of humans in the audience. It was all a blur to her, to be frank. After, though, she went to her family. Only a few of them had shown up – she supposed that was her fault for all the mistakes she had made. Her mother was there, and they shared a moment. “I always knew you had it in you.” “I didn’t.” “That’s my Sunset,” she said. Corona nodded. “Yeah… Yeah I am.” The rest who had shown up tried to be friendly, but only a few didn’t just come off as awkward or forced. That is, until she came to her cousin, Sunburst, Nova at his side. “Well, looks like you actually did ‘graduate’,” Sunburst said with a smile. “I think you’ve lost several bets.” “You here to collect?” “N-not at all!” “Burst, I joke, I joke,” Corona said, putting a hand in his mane and scruffing it. “How have you two been doing?” Nova rubbed her enlarged belly. “Well, I don’t feel like I can move properly, and living with Sunburst for an extended period of time is a mixture of wonderful and aggravating…” “Wha?” Sunburst blurted. “Holy Celestia… Sunburst, I had to slap you with a newspaper to get you to notice me two days ago!” “It was morning, I wasn’t awake!” “I mean, yeah, buuuuut…” She tapped her hooves together, about to say something else. But then she froze in place. “The baby just kicked.” “Really?” Sunburst put his hoof to her. “Lemme fee-” “Sunburst!” Nova said, blushing. “Not in public…” “Oh!” He flushed redder than she was. “S-s-sorry!” Corona kept her smile – but inwardly she got a sinking feeling. They had been forced together a little too early. She had faith they’d be able to work it out, but clearly things were going to be rocky for them. She put a hand on both their shoulders – making sure her gloves were still on. “You two are adorable, you know that?” They both nodded slowly, still flushed. “Good. Carry on then.” She winked. “Now excuse me, I’ve got to sit with the other princesses for a feast.” “You do that,” Nova said, nervously. “And who knows, maybe one day you’ll graduate too.” “And be what, the Princess of Fate?” Nova said. “Eh… If it happens I’ll take it, but I’m definitely not going to just go seek it out.” “I’d like to be a prince,” Sunburst mused. “Of course you would…” Corona left them to their strange relationship, teleporting into the main dining hall of Canterlot Castle. She found it interesting that she could use both her hands and her horn for magic, making it a lot easier to control than she expected either one alone could ever do. The Princesses were all waiting for her. Princess of the Moon and Night, Luna. Princess of Friendship, Magic, and the Multiverse, Evening. Princess of Love and Relationships, Cadence – with her Shining Armor of course. Princess of Life, Flurry Heart. Princess of Change, Paradigm, and her Shizuka. And now her, Corona. Luna extended a hoof. “Welcome to our ranks, Corona Shimmer, Princess of Passion, Fire, and Protection.” Corona shook Luna’s hoof. “Glad to be here.” “And that makes… six, six Princesses,” Paradigm said. “Think we could use the Elements of Harmony now?” Flurry raised an eyebrow at her younger sister. “…The Elements still have bearers.” “There are alternates we could test on!” “Probably couldn’t,” Corona said. “The magical energies of the Elements are almost always attuned to specific individuals. Eve and Luna might be able to wield them all given their special connections, but just handing them out to the six of us likely wouldn’t produce the same effect.” Eve clapped her hooves. “Finally, someone who appreciates science!” “I appreciate science. Sometimes,” Paradigm said. “Dear, you’re so inconsistent it doesn’t even matter,” Shizuka said. “But that’s why everyone loves me!” “The exemplification of change, my sister everyone!” Flurry commented, rolling her eyes. Corona smiled. She had a feeling she was going to like this new aspect of her life. “Hey, Corona,” Eve said, walking up to her. “It’s approaching evening. There’s something I’d like you to do. If you want.” “...What’s that?” “Will you lower the sun tonight?” Corona was startled by the request. She nodded slowly, trying to keep herself calm. Eve led her to a balcony, gesturing at the sun. “Just try to touch it with your magic. It should move mostly on its own after that.” Corona took a deep breath, lit her horn, and pushed her hands forward. She felt the sun in her hands, a small ball of fire. It was as if it was a bead sitting on a wire, and she just had to push it a little. The sun wobbled a bit as she did so, but it set beneath the horizon without any difficulty. There, she thought to herself. I… I guess I got what I wanted. And what you wanted. She swore she could hear the sound of Celestia’s motherly laugh.