//------------------------------//
// Chapter 64 
// Story: Pandemic: Picking up the Pieces 
// by Halira 
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Amanda looked at her old home. It was a simple one story suburban home, just over twelve-hundred square feet. When her husband had died she had sold her old two story house and bought this one instead. It was going to be just her and Jackie, they didn't need anything big. Now it seemed like such a huge place. Part of that was probably due to her reduced size, part of it was likely due to the fact she'd been living in a tent the last week and in a hospital room for a month before that. Size really was a matter of perspective.

Tom looked up at it. "It's not as big as mine. This should be easy enough."

Easy enough for a unicorn maybe. She was dreading this, but truth be told she'd probably be dreading this even if she had a horn of her own.

A quick glance around the yard showed that her yard was in desperate need of mowing. Her car still sat in the driveway and she had no idea what she was going to do with it. Just put a for sale sign on it with a price that was dirt cheap was probably the only option. It was only two years old, but paid off by the life insurance money. Since there were no payments to make on it any money she got for it would be worthwhile. Worst case she could just give it to Devon.

Jackie kept close by her legs. The filly had never been here. After Jackie was born Amanda spent most her time at the hospital, only leaving it the day before they all left for Riverview. There was a full nursery room for Jackie that had never been used. Right now Amanda wasn't sure what out of that nursery would actually be useful. Human babies and pony foals were so different.

"I've got the keys in my bag if you want to get them out. In the little side pouch," Amanda said as she got her thoughts in order.

Tom pulled back the side pouch with a hoof and looked in. He then lit his horn up and the he nudged around the side pouch with his magic looking for the keys.

As he was doing that Amanda looked around her old neighborhood. A few houses had the same abandoned look as hers while others looked well maintained. Across the street she spotted one of her neighbors looking at her. She was embarrassed she didn't actually know the woman's name, but they'd spoken a few times as they passed each other at the mailbox and talked about normal neighbor things: complaining about noisy teenagers driving their cars down their road like they were on a race track at two in the morning, standing around checking to see if others power was out too during power outages, just normal neighbor talk.

She gave her neighbor a wave and felt hurt when the woman scowled and retreated back into her house. Amanda might not have known her neighbors well, but she had thought she was at least on moderately terms with them.

"Remember, she doesn't recognize you," Tom said from beside her as he got the keys out and unlocked the door. "She might think we're trying to rob the house or something."

Amanda put a hoof up to her mouth in worry. She hadn't even considered that. Hopefully they weren't going to have the police showing up accusing her of breaking and entering into her own house. It wasn't like she had good photo IDs to verify who she was. Yeah, she had her IDs, but they showed her old human self. She could possibly get Devon and Paul to come vouch for her, maybe the police would take the word of humans.

"Don't worry too much about it. We'll figure something out if it comes to that," Tom assured her. "Let's get inside and get settled before seeing how to deal with getting this place packed."

She nodded and followed him into the house. Having him there with her made her feel better--for the most part anyway. He was levelheaded and easy to talk to, a good rock when she needed some support. That was also why she was also a little uneasy having her next month spent with him. Devon had planted that idea in her head about being attracted to him and now she found that she was. She was attracted to him and spending most of the next month alone with him--Jackie's presence didn't really count.

To her left was the living room with connecting kitchen and laundry room. To her right was a hallway that had a bathroom, her bedroom, and Jackie's nursery, along with a towel closet and regular closet. It was a simple house. Hopefully this wouldn't be too much work.

She propped herself up against the wall and flipped the light switches for the living room and hallway. After setting her hooves back down on the ground she gestured to the living room. "Home sweet home, at least it was supposed to be. I had just finally unpacking when I got sick with the flu. Never really got a chance to have this place feel like home."

Tom glanced around. "It doesn't seem too bad. If you had the light switches and door handles moved lower so they were easily in reach it would be perfectly easy for an earth pony to manage."

"Kitchen would be unusable," Amanda commented. "Pretty sure all the counters are higher than my head now, and half the cabinets completely beyond my reach even with a step stool. Same with the bathroom sink, higher bookshelves, almost every drawer in the house, and the tops of closets."

Tom frowned. "I guess I take my reach with my horn for granted. Sorry about that."

Amanda shook her head. "Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. When I get my own place in Riverview I'll just have to keep my size in mind. They're building houses with ponies in mind, so I'm sure it will work out."

Tom's ears went up and he floated his own bags off his back and down on the ground. "I was actually given the information for signing up to get one of those new houses. They make you pay a mortgage of course, but they promise to get you one. I was going to just live with my daughter until after she's given birth and settled, but I can give you the sign up information to email back to the bank."

Amanda smiled and giggled."I appreciate that. It would be nice to actually have somewhere to move this stuff too. You keep being very helpful."

She was then startled by a rubbing against her side. Jackie was rubbing her head against her abdomine.

"Hungry again already? I fed you on the car ride here," Amanda said with a raised eyebrow.

"Mrrwah!" Jackie protested with a stomp of her hoof to punctuate her cry.

Amanda stiffled a laugh. "My, you're cranky tonight. Don't think you're quite up to your first word yet, magic missile. I'll believe you that you're hungry though. You're a growing little filly after all. I wish I could tell if you're getting any heavier, but I can't tell much difference between you and your feathers."

"Exactly how much can you lift?" Tom asked as he looked her over.

She shrugged. "I haven't actually tried to push myself to find out. I haven't really come across anything that feels heavy to me, but then again I haven't gone and tried lifting anything I wouldn't have lifted as a human." She raised an eyebrow at him. "You aren't intimidated by a mare being much stronger than you, are you?"

"Why would I be intimidated?" Tom asked in confusion. "All the earth ponies are stronger than me, and most people who are still human."

Amanda smiled. "Just making sure." She looked back down at Jackie, who was giving her the full filly scowl treatment. "Alright, let me find somewhere comfortable to lay down and feed you."

She walked into the living room and as she did she raised her tail up and fanned it at Tom. She wasn't sure why she did it. She was just feeling playful for whatever reason. 

"You know, when you do that I can catch a whiff of that smell you were talking about," Tom said. 

She tensed up in embarrassment and put her tail between her legs to try to cover the scent. "Sorry, I wasn't even thinking about it. I didn't mean to gag you with weird body oders."

Tom laughed. "It doesn't smell bad. It smells kind of pleasant actually."

Amanda's ears perked up as she looked at him and a grin popped on her face. "Well, if that's the case get a good sniff."

She lifted her tail back up and then fanned the scent off towards him. 

Tom sniffed and smiled, but then his eyes narrowed and a concerned look appeared on his face. "Amanda...remember how we were talking earlier about how it should take about two months to get back on your period?"

"Yeah? Oh no, am I starting and leaking now!" Amanda yelled as she turned to try to look around at the area in question.

"No, you're not," Tom said soothingly. "The thing is, I don't think that you bleed as a pony, that's why you aren't recognizing it. I think that smell you're having is a pheromone musk."

Amanda's pupils shrank to pinpricks and her face went from pink to deep red. The pieces clicked into place in her head one after another; the smell, the fact she was acting more playful than normal, the fact she was thinking about how attractive Tom is. Hell, she'd even been doing what equated to mating behavior when she was fanning her musk on him.

She didn't even think about what she was doing. She just turned and bolted out of the living room and down the hallway for her bedroom. She promptly closed the door and leaned up against it and started crying. How did she not think about that possibility? Here she was doing the equivalent of equine rape on Tom. He must hate her now.

Jackie could be heard crying in the living room, at least she was for a moment then it abruptly stopped. She could hear Tom walking down the hallway till he was on the other side of the door, and she could here Jackie making little bits of babble. 

"Amanda?" Tom said hesitantly. "It's okay, everything's fine. You don't need to be upset."

"I was heat musking y-y-you," she sobbed. "That's not okay. I feel so dirty right now."

She heard him take a deep breath. "You didn't know what you were doing. It can't be that bad really. It didn't make me want to jump on you and rutt you."

"You-you don't think I'm attractive then?" She cried.

"What?!" Tom said in shock, and she cried some more. "That's not it. I think you're very attractive. It's just your musk didn't turn me into a sex fiend or anything. You haven't been acting like a sex fiend either, so I doubt this is actually what would be considered heat."

"You probably only find me attractive because I musked you," She said as she wiped tears from her eyes and took a sucked some snot back into her nose.

Tom could be heard setting down on the ground with a flop and Jackie giving off a suprised yelp, most likely from having her perch suddenly turned into a slide. 

"I could tell you that it wasn't the musk, but I honestly don't know," Tom said which made her whimper. "What I can tell you that it's not going to make us devolve into rutting season here. You're being a little hormonal right now..."

"I'm not being hormonal!!" She screamed in anger.

Tom took a deep breath. "You're being very emotional right now. I think the best thing for us to do is for you to take a few minutes to calm down so you can think straight..."

"I am thinking straight!"

Tom paused again. "You can't seem to make up your mind whether to be upset you musked me or to be upset about whether I think you're attractive or not, and your jumping back and forth between crying and yelling at me like a ping pong ball."

She chewed on her lip and snorted. "Okay, maybe I'm being a little hormonal."

"Just a little, barely noticeable at all," Tom agreed, and she nodded even though he couldn't see it. "As I was saying, you should take a few minutes to pull yourself together. While your doing that I'll go to the kitchen and see if anything is still capable of being eaten without making us sick. I'll need you in a few minutes though. I might get along with Jackie just fine, but if she tries to get milk out of me then she and I are going to get pretty angry at one another."

Amanda snorted causing snot to shoot out of her nose and about choked on a laugh as she pictured her unhappy daughter trying to find Tom's non-existent teats. 

"I think that was almost a laugh, so we're getting better already," Tom said with a smile in his voice. "I'll be in the kitchen. You come out when you feel you're ready, okay?"

"Okay," she said meekly.

She heard Tom walking away again and heard him talking to Jackie. "Your mom needs a few minutes, kiddo. How about we let you fly to the kitchen and you can watch me find some food while you wait for yours."

A moment later Jackie could be heard giggling and making happy sounds. Amanda smiled as she listened. Tom really was good with Jackie, and that wasn't just the hormones telling her that. 

She turned her body and slumped down against the door with her back to it, her hind legs stretched out, and her tail tucked under her. It was a very uncomfortable position and it was pulling on her tail, but for the second she didn't care. 

The bedroom was a mess. She clearly hadn't been keeping things neat and tidy in here before she went to the hospital. Of course she had been sick with the flu for a week before leaving for the hospital so she likely hadn't been in much of a cleaning mood. That was almost two months ago, but it all seemed really hazy in her memory, like it had been someone else who had gone through that. In a way it had been someone else. She was a pony, not a human, and though she had been human that felt like a different life in many ways. Like she'd been reincarnated, and whatever greater power there was forgot to take away the last life's memory. 

Most of the clutter around the room was clothes, completely utterly useless clothes. There were some discarded magazines and books about parenting and having your first baby. There was also a large collection of discarded used tissues and empty tissue boxes. 

She rolled to her side then stood up. After a moment more of glancing around she walked over to one of the discarded shirts that didn't smell too bad and grabbed it up in her fetlock to do something useful--wipe her snot covered face off. It took a good deal of rubbing, and her fur still felt somewhat nasty after the effort, but she felt a tiny bit cleaner. If Tom told her she was attractive right now he'd have to be lying, musk or no musk.

What was getting brought out of this room? Definitely not the clothes, that was for sure. The bed she could keep. There were probably a bunch of momentos in the closet that she wanted to save. There was a laptop computer still sitting open on the side of the bed. Maybe packing up what she wanted to bring wouldn't be too hard. The hard part would be watching the garbage bags get filled with things that didn't matter anymore.

She felt she was calm enough now to go out and face Tom again. That was a mess of things feelings she didn't know what to think about, but hiding in her room wasn't going to get them sorted out. She had her breather and she had a daughter that needed to be fed. She needed to eat as well. 

After exiting out of the room she went slowly down to the kitchen. Tom was flicking through things on his phone with a stylus while Jackie was trying to pounce on his tail. Why did foals act so kitten like? Did ponies have some sort of latent feline DNA that only expressed itself in foal playing habits?

Tom looked up at her with a concerned expression. "Feeling any better?"

"A little."

His horn lit up and a can of fruit levitated over to him. "I found a few cans of this that are perfectly good still. There are some other canned vegetables that look like their useable as well. How about you feed Jackie and I'll find a can opener to get this open."

She looked down at her daughter and gave a weak smile. "Are you still hungry? I know I've kept you waiting. Let's get you feed."

Jackie's head shot up from her croutching position at the mention of the word fed and the little pegasus quickly hurried over to her. Amanda then went back out into the living room and laid down on a small area rug and exposed her teats for her daughter. The little filly squealed happily and promptly got to suckling.

Tom stepped out of the kitchen and Amanda quickly looked away and shifted her tail so it was covering her private areas. A second later a bowl of fruit levitated down in front of her and she glanced back at Tom.

"I drained the syrup out of it so it won't be so messy. It isn't exactly crisp fruit, but it's something. At least it isn't hay," Tom said as he laid down with his own bowl of fruit a few feet away.

"Thank you. I appreciate it," Amanda said with a small smile.

Tom levitated a piece of fruit from his bowl up to his mouth and seemingly swallowed the mushy fruit whole. "I also took a moment to look up if there was any information about...your condition available yet on the internet."

Amanda twisted her lips a little, not sure how she felt about it being called a condition, but decided that she was just being overly testy. "So what did it say?"

Tom looked down at his fruit and poked it with his magic like he would poke it with a fork. "It does say that musk will moderately increase a stallion's attraction and sex drive to the mare that it belongs to."

"Oh," she said in a whisper, then put on a brave face. "Well, I guess that's that then."

Tom shook his head. "It says it only lasts a few minutes though. Two at most without being reapplied. That means that right now I'm not under the influence of it. That means I can say that I find you attractive and know that it is coming from me instead of your pheramones."

Amanda went wide eyed. Then looked down again. "That's great. That's really good to hear...but what about me? What if I'm only interested in you because I have sex on the brain?"

"It says it does increase your drive, but it doesn't radically increase your drive," Tom explained. "It makes you more likely to act on feelings you already have in that area."

"I don't know," she said with a shake of her head. "It's just this is coming up now and I haven't gotten my head around what I actually think about you, and...and I just don't know what to think."

Tom nodded safely. "I take anything that is told to me about being a pony with a grain of salt. It says this doesn't last long. How about we just agree you try not to musk me and when this passes we take an honest look at our feelings with us in knowing they are coming completely from us. If there really is something there we can act on it then."

Amanda looked at him with wet and hopeful eyes. "Do you mean it?"

"I mean it," Tom assured her. "I'm going to be a pony for life. I don't need to be a pony for life alone. I'd rather pursue a relationship with a pony that I know I have a mutual attraction for than find out what mares my ex is going to try to set me up with. She pretty much implied she's going to try it."

Amanda's ears laid back. "She better not if I lay first claim. Sunset Blessing is a fool for shoving you aside."

The unicorn sighed. "We just don't fit together anymore. I don't feel brushed aside; I feel released. Tonya can have her with no hard feelings from me towards either of them. That chapter of my life is closed now, it's time to write a new one."

She smiled as she looked at him. She thought again about how good he was with Jackie, and how nice and caring he was towards her. Even after finding out that she was inadvertently leading him on with musk he sat down and took the time to think about her and treat her like she was special. He could have just walked out of the here, but he didn't. 

She was pretty certain now that her feelings for him were legitimate, and that soothed her mind. She'd wait till this time of the month passed before she tried to make any move, just to be sure, but once it was done she fully intended to stake her claim and see that next chapter had her as the female lead.