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// Chapter How Many Ponies Are In My Store (Five) (Edited) 
// Story: Admin Abuse 
// by blackhotmetal 
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"You know, I thought it would be bigger… and shinier," Dante said, staring at the palm-sized apple he had given himself. It was perfectly uniform and the same shade of red all over. He moved to eat the apple, taking a big bite out of it. However, he gagged as he tried swallowing and spit it out. "What?" The apple didn't taste bad, but for some reason, Dante couldn't stomach it. It tastes like an apple, he thought. I love apples. Why can’t I eat it? he wondered, taking another bite, only to gag and have to spit it out again.

Gears started turning and lights started going off in Dante's head. "Oh yeah, no hunger in Creative mode," he said as he noted his lack of appetite. He shook his head at his own ignorance. Well, that's boring, he thought, bringing up the console. He switched his gamemode to Survival. The familiar feeling of a relatively empty stomach hit him quickly. "Oh god, I would kill for a baked potato right about now," he said as his cravings woke up and shook hands with his hunger. He eyed the apple voraciously and sampled it. It was a bit watery and slightly bland for his taste, but food is food. Munching down the rest of his fruit of questionable origin, he started wandering around.

After a few minutes of walking along the treeline, Dante saw something that looked out of place. What's that? he thought, intrigued. A grove of trees in uniformly spaced rows had caught his eye. The leaves were a more vivid shade of green than the nearby forest. Interested in the change of scenery, he made his way to the nearest row of trees. As he got closer, he noticed the trees were patterned more like an orchard than an artificial forest. There were also red ripe apples hanging from some of their branches. I wonder how they are compared to the given apple, he thought. Determined to make the comparison, he made a beeline for the closest tree. The lowest branches were just within arm’s reach. When he was just five feet from the trunk of the tree, he tripped over something. In the tall grass of the field he was crossing he failed to see the two foot tall white picket fence. This sent him face-first into the ground.

"Ow, pain," Dante groaned as he rolled to his back. He sat up and clutched his nose. Dante noticed a warm feeling run down his face, and tasted a rusty flavor as it reached his lips. He brought his hand away to see it smeared with a crimson liquid. It dripped off of his chin onto his white T-shirt. He looked down, saw the splatter, and thought, Aw, that's gonna stain. At least my nose doesn't feel broken. He leaned forward and looked down while pinching the bridge of his nose, and after about a minute, the bleeding stopped. I need to wash my face off. I probably look like a serial killer with all the blood on my hands and face, he thought. Water bucket, the thought passed his mind.

Standing up quickly was a bad decision. Dante's inner ear effectively yelled, “WHICH WAY IS UP?!” He stumbled into the apple tree that was now behind him. An apple broke off of the branch it was holding on to and landed on Dante's head. "Ow. Come on, what am I, Isaac Newton?" He scowled down at the apple that had attacked him.

Dante lifted his hands up to open the console. He typed in /give, hit Tab to autofill his name, and immediately regretted the decision. "AH," he exclaimed lifting an arm up to shield his eyes. When he peeked through his fingers at the bright light, he saw what looked like thousands of words coming out of the command box and flying upward into oblivion at breakneck speeds. He turned away from the disorienting display and stumbled to the side.

The moment he started to move away from the keyboard, the world resumed. "Note to self," Dante muttered, "do NOT blank autofill names." He took a second to blink and calm his burning retinas. He squinted his eyes as he lifted his hands up again in the event the blinding display was still going. The console opened, and the world froze. There were no words above the box as if nothing had happened at all. He typed the command /give NotDustYet water_bucket again, this time making sure to NOT push Tab.

The world resumed and Dante stood with a large pail of water about the size of his head in one hand. It looks like it should weigh more than it feels like it does, Dante noted. He set the bucket down on the ground and knelt down in front of it, splashing water to wash his hands and face. When the surface of the water stilled, he saw his face was clear of blood. The water in the bucket was now a slightly red color. That's kinda gross, he thought. He stood up, picking up the bucket. Here's hoping I don't flood the world, he thought as he tossed the water out of the pail and over the fence.

Thankfully, the water didn't infinitely flow from the place where it left the bucket. Phew, dodged a bullet on that one, he thought in relief. God, that would be gross. Now what do I do with the bucket? he wondered. I could clear it, but it might be useful later on... He crossed his arms in thought. It won't fit in my pocket like the stick did; it’s too wide.

When the thought of the stick crossed Dante's mind, he felt something brush his left hand. He uncrossed his arms and pulled his hand away to see that it had slipped into the side of his robe. "No way," He gasped as he stuck his hand back into the robe. He thought of the stick. Sure enough, he felt it brush against his fingertips. Reaching in a little more, he grasped the stick and pulled it out of his robe. That would have been useful to know, he thought as he snickered. Then I wouldn't have had to bury sixty-some books under a pile of leaves in the forest.

A bad idea popped into his head. He put the bucket into his robe and let go. It didn't fall out. There also wasn't a bucket shaped lump so he assumed it was in his inventory now. He then took the stick and put it into his pocket halfway. He stuck his right hand into his robe and thought about the stick. Feeling the end brush against his fingers, hee pulled on it, and felt a tug on his other hand. He pushed the stick into his pocket a little more and it poked out from inside the robe. Dante started chuckling like a madman, playing tug of war with himself whilst flipping the bird to his physics professor. Friggin' portals, he thought. He then started trying different angles, like making the ends of a straight object touch without bending it by pulling each end out of a side of the robe.

Ten minutes later when Dante was done being rude to Mother Nature, he let go of one end of the stick, pulled it all the way out of his robe with his other hand, and shoved it back in into his inventory. His stomach rumbled as a soft breeze wafted the smell of apples into his nose. He returned his attention to the reason he came to the orchard in the first place: the apples. Dante reached up and grabbed a strong-looking branch. He pulled and walked himself up the tree and straddled the limb with his back facing the trunk. Using another branch, he turned himself upright and leaned back against the trunk. He looked for an apple within arms reach. A bright red apple hung just above Dante.

Before snatching his find, he opened the console and spawned in an apple. With his free hand, he reached up and picked the other apple from the branch. Immediately, he noticed a difference when holding the two up side by side. The naturally grown apple had a few imperfections on its surface and was slightly larger on one side. The spawned-in apple was free from imperfections and was perfectly symmetrical. He tried smelling them next. The orchard apple smelled sweet, whereas the other apple smelled of nothing. Dante knew what the spawned apple tasted like, but he ate a piece of both for accurate comparison. His spawned apple tasted exactly like the last one he had: slightly watery and tasted like apple, but a bit bland. He tried the other apple and was shocked. Mmm, this is the friggin' bomb, he thought as he savored the flavor. It was much more sweet, flavorful, and fragrant than the spawned in apple. I'm not sure I'll ever eat another apple better than this one, he thought. He closed his eyes and moaned in pleasure as the succulent fruit juice ran down his chin. He ate the whole apple, including the core. As soon as he swallowed the last mouthful of juicy goodness, he looked up and started to reach for another.

"HEY!" Dante heard a loud yell from below, startling him. He flinched and lost his balance. Trying to grasp something to keep himself from falling, he stuck out and flailed his arms ; however, his hands found nothing. As he fell, he saw the presumed owner of the voice. Oh hey, it’s the orange cowboy pony from before, the thought drifted through his mind as the ground rushed to meet him once again, knocking him out cold.