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// October 4th - October 29th, the Year MCCCXLV 
// Story: Love Letters of the Princess of the Sun 
// by Echo 27 
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October 1st, the Year MCCCXLV



Is it poor form of me that I have only noticed just how little I know of Ford? We have been together for several months now. I should have inquired of him long before now. I know who he is now, but who he was before he arrived at my door- his home, his family, his dreams and desires… nothing. The only pieces of his past that I know of are in relation to his boyhood infatuation with me and nothing more. His life before this is a complete mystery to me.

He is currently occupied with 24-hour duty, supervising a pair of soldiers as per his duties as an NCO. I am glad that he is being trusted with greater responsibility, but I have played myself for somewhat of a fool. Now he will have more duties, and less opportunity for me to see him. I am sure we will find something of a balance; even Captain Hearth Fire ensures he has time for his wife and children. And, if I am remembering correctly, I am a Princess of Equestria. I am fairly sure that my responsibilities and roles are far larger than his. We will find a way to manage.

… I have just realized that Ford was alone when he was promoted. Typically family and friends are invited to attend, but Ford stood alone as he was pinned. I wonder where his family is, or if they have issues approving his service. I certainly hope not, for he is a wonderful soldier- and someone quite dear to me. I am glad to have him in my life. I do hope that they simply were not able to attend. I would like to meet them, if I ever get the chance.



October 4th, the Year MCCCXLV



Ford and I met today, I inviting him to the mountain springs with me. The fall weather that has begun to take hold lessened its grip this morning, leaving us blessed with a beautiful, comfortable day kissed with sunlight. My weather-tamers tell me it is likely one of the last, as the fall will soon arrived in force. Winter is not far behind any longer, and whatever preparations for the cold must begin immediately to ensure the kingdom thrives.

I found myself somewhat occupied when we met, he happily embracing me, but quickly taking note of my distraction. “Is something the matter?” he asked of me.

“Merely occupied,” I replied. “This month and the next will be a busy time for us all.”

“Fall harvests, right? He asked, I nodding in confirmation. “And winter preparations too, I’m guessing?”

“It will be a chaotic season,” I said. “Fall typically is simply because of what comes after.”

“Are you nervous?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Not at all,” I said. “We have always found a way to thrive, even in the deepest cold. Equestria is always capable of holding its own.”

Ford said nothing, letting the silence pass between us as we relaxed in the waters of the spring, the rejuvenating flow easing our spirits. “You know that I don’t want to just kiss you and merely be with you,” he said. “You can come talk to me, about anything. I want to hear what’s going through your mind.”

“Even if it’s awful?” I teased.

“Especially so,” he replied. “I know that you probably already know that, but I just wanted to remind you.”

“It’s a good thing to be reminded of,” I said, kissing him on the cheek. “And thank you. I’ll certainly remember you when I need someone to talk to. As long as you remember the same.”

The sun began to creep lower on the horizon and the temperature began to fall, a cool air taking root in the caves. It was time for us to depart and make our way to warmer quarters.

“By the way,” Ford said, drying himself off with a towel, “What became of your sister? I do remember you saying that you talked with her.”

“She is certainly no fan of you,” I said, Ford laughing in reply. “But she has agreed to keep the secret for now.”

“Did she threaten to kill me at any point during the conversation?” he asked.

“How did you know that?”

Ford laughed uproariously. “Her soldiers are ruthless, Celestia. I would have been surprised if she was more reserved than they, particularly after she tried to stab me.”

“I do apologize for that, I hope she didn’t hurt you too greatly,” I said, feeling myself turn red.

Ford shrugged. “Nothing came of it in the end, anyway.”

As we left the tunnels, a group of guards could be seen patrolling the corridors to the castle, blocking us from making our way forward. I quickly hurried Ford back into the tunnels and out of sight before we could be spotted.

“Do we have visitors?” he asked.

“Yes, give me a moment to think it over,” I said, mulling on an idea in my head. “I’m going to try something, but it may not be pleasant. Do you trust me?”

“Of course.”

“Take my hand,” I commanded him, my fingers intertwining with his own. “Now hold on.”

With my free hand I gave a sharp Crack! and we disappeared into the ether, reappearing in my chambers in an instant. I stayed steady, but Ford lost his balance and fell to the ground in a heap.

“What did we just do?” he said, clutching his head for dear life.

“Teleported,” I explained, bringing him back to his feet. “I am sorry, I know it can be uncomfortable if it is your first time.”

“I’m alright,” Ford said gruffly, immediately falling back down, his equilibrium still weak. “Or perhaps not as much as I thought.”

I laughed, lying down beside him. “I’ll just say you fell for me.”

Ford took some time to recover, the aftereffects of the magic holding him down for an extended period. Eventually he managed to right himself, settling down next to me on my bed as we relaxed, he watching as I set the sun from my balcony.

“How do you do that?” he asked, marveling at me as I returned indoors.

“I just… do,” I said, unable to manage any better. “It is difficult to truly explain.”

Ford appeared dissatisfied, but accepted my words. “Your hair’s a mess still,” he remarked. “I think you forgot to brush it after you dried off.”

I walked over to the mirror and saw that he was right; my once-wavy hair remained lank and unkempt. Ford appeared next to me with my brush, leading me back over to the bed as he set to work.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” I told him. “I promise, I managed it easily on my own for many years.”

“I like doing it,” he said. “You’re so powerful, you’re immortal- let’s face it, the Royal Guard is really just for show, you don’t need us. I want to do something for you.”

He is sweet, truly. Proud to the last, but his efforts are so often for those around him.

“Ford, can I ask you some questions?”

“About what?” he said, working through my hair with elegant grace and skill.

“About… well, you, truthfully,” I said. “I hate to confess it, but I know so little about you. You can pick up a history book and know most of my life’s story, but you’re… you are a complete mystery.”

Ford considered my words for a time, occupying himself with his work. “Alright, I guess so,” he said. “What did you want to know?”

“Where are you from?” I asked first, eager at the prospect of learning more about him.

“Vanhoover,” he replied. “I was born in a hospital downtown, but lived on the south side of the city and stayed there until I enlisted. I graduated training and came here. I’ve been here in Canterlot ever since.”

“What about your family?”

“My parents, and my older brother. It was a small little household, I guess.”

“Tell me about them. What were their names?”

Ford paused in his work. “Marianna and Titus. My older brother’s name was Gaellus, but everyone called him Shoal because he spent all his time on the water. He loved the ocean, my parents would catch him trying to sneak away from school and be on the docks nearly every day.”

“Did he end up working on the seas, your brother?” I asked.

“Yes, eventually,” Ford said. “My parents were fairly rich, so they gave him a loan on a small fishing boat and my brother started being an independent fisherman. He really had a knack for it, got really good at it. He knew which sea captains to avoid and which to emulate, so that really helped him.”

“He sounds like the favorite,” I said softly, feeling hurt for a young Ford I had never known.

“He was, but it wasn’t cruelty or neglect,” Ford replied. “They loved us both. He was just older and they could do more for him at the time. I guess they would’ve done the same for me as well when the time came around.”

Something about his words concerned me. Everything he said of his family was in the past-tense, stories of days gone by.

“Ford, tell me something,” I said.

“Anything.”

“Why was your family not here with you when you were promoted? I would have gladly let them visit you,” I said.

Ford set down the hairbrush, giving a long, mournful sigh. “Well, because they’re dead.”

My heart dropped. “What?”

Ford looked out at the night sky, a somber expression upon his face. “My brother came back from being out at sea one day, ranting and raving about how he had found the greatest catch in history. He went out early the next day to try and capture whatever he’d found and just… never came back. That was the last time I saw him.” Ford bit his lip and took a breath. “As the weeks went by, something in my parents just broke. They’d lost their eldest son and didn’t really know how to deal with that. They tried their best, but they’d already died inside. My father passed away when I was seventeen, and my mother followed a few months later.”

My heart broke for him. A young Ford, not even an adult, but already alone in the world. “Surely you had family to turn to,” I said softly.

“I might, but I never met them,” Ford replied. “My parents did something to anger the rest of my family- they were originally from Baltimare and moved westward to get away. If I have any family out there, I’ve never met them.”

“What did you do? How did you take care of yourself?” I asked.

“I had a friend who let me stay at their house until I became an adult,” Ford answered. “I worked odd-end jobs for a few years, then finally got some sense and enlisted. I’ve been here ever since. And then I met you. I’d say it’s been pretty good since then.”

My heart hurt for him. Ford was so strong, so brave and full of life, yet had nothing in the world to call his own. No wonder he seemed to go out of his way to care for me- I was, in a sense, all he had. “Ford…”

“It’s not a big deal, I’m fine,” he said brusquely. “No, really, I am. Look at my life. I carry your colors- the woman I dreamed about since I was a boy. I’m a leader in the Royal Guard, I get to spend the rest of my life protecting you. I should be happy. I am happy. Nothing can stop me from being happy right now, sitting next to the most beautiful woman in the world and saying I belong to her. That’s more than enough.”

The rest of the night was relatively silent, and before too long I kissed him farewell. As Ford left, I thought of his family. The loving parents I would never meet, the fiery brother who never returned. Ford already knew that deep, cutting loss so early in his life. I buried my face in my hands and could do nothing but weep for him.



October 12th, the Year MCCCXLV



How can one feel so strongly for someone they’ve never met?

Ford’s family has taken residency within my mind for days now. Their story holds onto me like few others have. Luna’s imprisonment, Sunset’s self-imposed exile, now a lost family that I have never met, nor will I ever meet. I imagine them, but I have no face to conjure, no memory to hold on to. It is a ghost of a life, of Ford’s life, that seems to haunt me. I do not know why. Maybe because of the one to whom it belongs.

Ford is often quiet. He is not a boisterous man, but collected, rational and level-headed. I wonder if the loss of his family so early in life had a great effect on him.

Death is a constant I do not know. It is a fundamental law of reality, a finality in what feels like an endless, ceaseless world. It is absolute, unbreakable, and immovable. So many fight it, push back against it, but all will face it in time. Except me. My sister and I, the last two of a long-forgotten world so ancient and old that even by the time I grew into adulthood I had already seen the centuries pass and turn, the world grow and rot. Kingdoms have come and gone, nations will rise and fall, but through it all I will remain. Death has thrown no snare upon my soul.

But its touch will still leave its mark upon me. Cadance will pass and all that will be left is her legacy. Twilight, so young and beautiful, will eventually breathe her last. And so will Ford. Death cannot claim me easily, but its claws will tear at my heart nonetheless.

I cannot un-know this fact. Somehow it has escaped my notice for all these years. Yet now it is something I cannot unsee and I do not wish to be part of it.



October 21st, the Year MCCCXLV



I am here alone tonight. I do not wish to be.

Ford was not himself tonight. I am to blame for that. I broached the topic poorly and I should have had more forethought.

I approached him earlier today, asking him to accompany me back to the astrellarium. It is a place of solitude for the both of us, the small chamber having few visitors to speak of, its seclusion an advantage for when we wish to be unseen and easy to access. I was glad to see him, finding greater comfort in him than I have before. Perhaps it is because the union we have shared, or perhaps the shadow of death that has come to linger on my mind. In my arms I held a man I cherished, but also a fragile, temporal thing. He will leave me someday.

We took to the stars, a telescope Luna had gifted to me serving our purposes nicely. We took in the view, he awed at the beauty that shone above him.

“They are magnificent,” he said, his voice trailing to a whisper. “I never knew it could all be so vast.”

“You’re only seeing a very small part of it,” I told him. “There are lights so far that their light cannot reach us, and all spread so far apart. The blackness between them is more vast than anything you or I could ever hope to know.”

Ford was left in wonderment as I told him more- likely more than he had ever known. Luna and I shared a love of astronomy that had kept our minds in the heavens for centuries.

“Tia?”

“Mhm?”

“Is it true that all the stars we can see are already gone?”

I paused. “I’m sorry?”

“I remember being told that a long while ago by a friend of mine,” Ford replied. “That every star we see is just its light. All of our night sky is just full of dead stars so far away that their light is only just now reaching us. Is that true?”

I remained hesitant. “Y-yes, it is,” I replied. “The stars we see are long passed, and only their light remains. It is a constant of our world.”

“What is?”

“Death,” I said sadly. The silence fell between us as we gazed up into the dying lights of the night sky. Death was in my mind again; Ford’s parents, his brother, the endless sea of it above, the thousands upon thousands who fell every day. The specter of death lay everywhere tonight.

“How do you live with it?” I asked.

“Huh?”

“How do you live every day, knowing that your life is so short and small?”

Ford seemed taken aback by my words, I immediately regretting their bluntness. “We’re all- we- Tia, we just do,” he said. It’s not this deep, dark secret that we’re going to die. Everyone does.”

“Except me and Luna,” I whispered.

“Except you and your sister,” Ford agreed. “I guess it scares some people, and they try to find ways around it, or keep it away for a little longer. Death’s still coming. Could be today, could be tomorrow. Just is.”

“You sound so cavalier about it,” I remarked.

“There’s nothing I can do to stop it,” Ford said. “I could get kicked in the head by a horse tomorrow and die, or I could live to be a hundred. Either way, I’m gonna bite it.”

“Does- do you miss your family? Do you visit them?”

“No. No, I don’t. At least not really,” Ford said. I must have let my feelings show, for he gave me a strange look. “Nothing’s going to bring them back. I don’t want to live in the past for the rest of my life. I miss them every now and then, but… my life is good. I’m not going to mourn over them while I still have a life to live.”

“It just sounds so callous,” I said, and I regretted the words in an instant.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he challenged. “Tell me that.”

“I didn’t mean to say it- I’m sorry, that shouldn’t have slipped out,” I tried to say, my words stumbling off my tongue.

“I know you’re not used to it,” Ford said, “but the rest of us are. Death is normal to us, even if it’s a whole new concept to you. I’m gonna keep living because that’s how I honor their memory. Not by keeping their birthdays or- or trying to live out their lives in some effort to keep them alive. That does nothing. They’re not here to care, so… so I’ll live and enjoy my life all the same.”

I couldn’t look him in the eye, Ford so proud and strong, yet so fragile; a spark that could go out in a heartbeat. I could hardly see him as anything else any longer.

“I’m going to leave,” he declared, slowly backing away into the darkness. “I don’t think I am doing you good by being with you tonight.”

My hand, perhaps by desire or instinct, reached out for him, but he had already left, leaving me alone in the darkness, my thoughts still consumed by death.



October 29th, the Year MCCCXLV



Ford will be leaving soon. Word was sent from Shining Armor in the Crystal Empire, requesting a joint-training exercise in the northern mountains. Arctic warfare training along with mountain warfare exercises, Hearth Fire has told me. When selections were made, various squads were nominated, with one from each battalion of the Solar Guard to make five in total. They will be departing the morning of Nightmare Night and will spend most of November in the mountains. It will be a brutal regimen.

Hearth Fire brought the names of the selected groups to me, requesting my approval. When I saw Ford mentioned, I was rather surprised. “Corporal Ford? But he is your youngest NCO, isn’t he?”

“Yes, Your Majesty, he is,” Hearth Fire admitted. “I narrowed down the selection to Sergeant Coal, Sergeant First Class Beam, and Corporal Ford. However, Beam is looking to retire soon, and Coal’s wife has fallen ill again. It is likely she will need medical care and upkeep for the rest of her life.”

“So Corporal Ford wins out by process of luck,” I summarized.

“Yes, in a sense. But he has done well, Your Majesty. I want to push him and see how he fares. He’s one of the best recruits we’ve had in many, many years.”

“Very well then,” I said. “Let Corporal Ford’s squad be made aware so they can begin preparations.” And I would need to see Ford before he departed, quietly sending a message to him the moment Hearth Fire left.

The weather had become cold, the full force of winter well on its way and leaving me with few ideas of where Ford and I would meet. My chambers were becoming difficult for him to reach, the mountain springs too affected by the elements, and the astrellarium was being used to host a party for my council and nobles. After some deliberation, I decided for him to meet me at the mouth of the tunnels, and I would take us to a place far safer.

I half-wondered if he would even meet me there, he and I not having left on the best of terms in our last rendezvous. The thought of him intentionally avoiding me was… unpleasant. But the moment when I had lost hope, there he was, cheeks burned by the cold and wind but alive and well.

“This seems too open,” he remarked, reaching for my hand and electrifying me with warmth. “Are you sure this place is safe for us?”

“This isn’t our end destination,” I said with a smile. “Come, hold on to me.” As his hand tightened upon mine, I gave a snap of my fingers and we disappeared, the world turning black until at last we reappeared, the sound of waves crashing coming to meet our ears.

Ford stood there stunned by the sight of moonlight dancing along the waves. “Where are we?” he asked.

“Somewhere very, very far away,” I said. “An island far to the south of Equestria, my place of solitude and comfort when I need it most.”

“We’re outside Equestria?” I nodded, leaving Ford more shocked than before. “This is… I’ve… I’ve never left home before.”

“Is it to your liking?”

“It’s incredible. I’ve never seen a place like it,” Ford answered, still appearing bemused. “But why bring us here? Why not simply bring us to your chambers?”

“You’re going to a bitterly cold place,” I told him. “I wished for you to have the sights and sounds of a warmer place to hold onto.”

We walked along the shoreline, letting the comforting ocean waves lap at our feet. Ford’s attention was consumed by the seas, his eyes fixated on the darkened horizon. I had rarely seen him so preoccupied. I could sense a disquiet in him, something having been put ill at ease.

I felt my heart sink. If this splendid place was not enough to comfort him, then perhaps nothing would. Before too long I recommended we return home, and he quickly agreed. In an instant we had returned to the palace, safe and secure in my quarters.

“You’re upset about something,” I said, settling down in a comfortable armchair. “You’ve been distracted all night. Is something the matter?”

“It’s nothing, I promise,” Ford replied, obviously lying to the both of us.

“You agreed that you would allow me to be someone you could talk to,” I reminded him. “We have been at odds these past few days. I would like to not be.”

Ford remained uncomfortable, his countenance falling. He could not seem to bring himself to face me at all, looking everywhere but at me- yet a hunger in his eyes seemed to seek me out. “Do I hurt you by being here?”

“I don’t understand,” I said.

“Ever since I told you my family’s story, it’s like a part of you has been afraid. Like suddenly death became real to you. Am I a bad reminder to you now?”

“No, not at all,” I protested, but immediately finding that my words had failed me.

Ford took notice of my state. “Princess, I’m going to die someday. Does that cause you pain? Am I- just a reminder of something you’ll eventually lose?”

“Yes. In a sense,” I admitted. “I see you and I see a ghost of people I never met. I’m glad that you choose to live, but someday that choice will not be yours. I wish I could change that, but there is nothing I can do to stop it.”

“So the thought of me hurts you now,” Ford said. His voice was tight, constricted. He was holding back his own emotions now for my sake. And perhaps for his own as well. “I am no longer a living, breathing person, but a specter. A haunted thing.” I looked up and saw him standing before me, his face darkened with the hurt he now bore. “So I should have said nothing after all. Maybe you should have rejected me in the first place.”

“No! Not at all,” I cried, taking his hands in mine. “I am glad you are in my life, even if… even if you won’t always be.”

“Someday I won’t be,” he said. “Are you ready for that? Could be years from now, when I’ve become old and gray. But it could be tomorrow. It could be in an instant. It will hurt, and I don’t want to be the one who brings you pain. Because I can’t bear that thought.”

Ford, ever the sacrificial one, ever proud and stubborn, was saying exactly what I did not want to hear. He gave a sigh, letting my hands drop from his. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Stop being noble. Stop being proud and stay with me tonight,” I begged him, that hunger that had first brought us together reigniting, causing an ache that shook my very soul. Never so deeply had I wanted him, to bring happiness to him again.

He looked up at me with those sad, baleful eyes. “But you can’t love a dead man walking,” he said wistfully. He turned to the balcony, slowly reaching for a way down and out of sight. “I’m sorry, Princess.”

I called for him to return, my voice carrying through the wind, I risking our secret in the desperate chance to bring him back. But just as he had come he was gone, disappearing into the night.

My fears had been of losing him to death. Instead, I had spurned him away myself. And now, after all our time together, I did not know if I could bear the weight of it.