Me, the Ponies and my Grandma (Redo)

by Cybers Link


A friendly hello (side A)

I follow the path that leads me out of the forest. My body has cooled down allowing me to feel all the injuries I've collected so far forcing me in the need to walk with the aid of a stick I find laying around. Following the path, I stop at the view of a house near the edge of the forest away from the rest of the town.

The small house has its roof full of grass, bushes and other plants. A small lake with its own ecosystem passed by the house and all around the area where birdhouses hanging from trees and the house itself. Animals of all kinds were happily living on top and around the cottage. "I bet who lives there is an old lady who never gets married"

I walked slowly and as steady possible through a small bridge that passes through the body of water. As I walked, all the creatures in my surroundings run away alerted for my presence. All but a small white bunny who stand between me and the door.

"Hello little guy, is your caretaker here? I really need to use his, or her phone," I said to the little animal pretending he was going to answer me. We stand in front of each other for a while and the more I look at it the more I feel like if he was mad at me for some reason. I think I even see a mocking smile on its face.

"O....key? I am going to knock at the door then," I said getting closer to the door when all of the sudden I feel a pinch of pain in my shin that makes my jump away."OUCH! Dammit! I am going to kill that little bastard" I scream trying to kick the withe rat mouth out of my leg. With nothing else I could find, I throw the stick I was using to help me walk but the little rat jumps away dodging it and making the stick to bounce off from a rock directly into a window breaking it into pieces. "Oh... today is not my day," As everything happens I heard a small yep and the sound of running on wood floor from inside the house.

"S-sorry. I didn't do it on purpose. I promise I will pay for the window but I really need to use your phone if you have any. I had the craziest night and I need to call my parents and maybe the pol.....ice" I said while I see the silhouette of something running away towards the small town from the back of the house. "Perfect, I scare... whoever that was."

Since I was so tired mentally and physically, I didn't want to go after the owner of the house. I guess that I will apology later but now I need a phone. Guessing that the owner of the house lives alone I open the door slowly. For some reason, the door of the house was split in two, the downside and the upside which is the side I open first allowing me to see the inside of the house. It was dark but still, I could see some of the furniture and a stone fireplace in the living room.

"What is this? an Amish town or something? All the furniture seems old fashion." The one thing that stuck out the most was a big furniture in form of a ball of fur in the middle of the leaving room. As I keep staring at the ball of fur I detected small hints of breathing movements from it. What a shock was when the "ball" turns letting see his sharp claws and fangs when the giant grisly bear yawns at my direction.

"Nope, nope. So much nope. I had enough with the wood-wolves thank you very much. Maybe the owner of the house didn't run because of me after all" I thought as I slowly closed the door and turn around walking towards the town not before I stare at the bunny who bite me before, "And you, little ball of fur, you will pay for this later". For some reason, I feel the stare of the white rat gives me back with a smirk on his face that says something along the lines of 'whenever you want bitch'.


The town wasn't too far from the grizzly infested house. I just need it to walk a small stone bridge that was a couple of meters away and I was practically there. Old oil lanterns illuminated the seemingly desolated town allowing me to read the words carved in a big wood arch in front of the town.

"Welcome to Pony... ville? Ponyville? Really? What a weird name. But what an old fashion town it is." Looking around, all the houses and other structures were from a different era of time entirely. I have never seen houses like these before but in movies and history books.

"Hello!!!!!!! Is anybody there!!!!" I scream out loud at the empty streets of the town. Walking through a few streets I could see some shopping bags on the floor along with some other stuff. "Hellooooo!!!" I scream louder as I get closer to one house to see through a window to check if there was anybody there... nothing. Not even a hint of movement.

"Ok, this is starting to scare me out. HELLO!!!! CAN SOMEONE COME OUT PLEASE? I AM LOST AND I AM REALLY... hungry." I don't know why I scream the hungry part but at seeing a near apple stand I couldn't help it. Getting closing, I look at one apple and grab it to munch on it. "Don't worry I will pay!!" I shout out loud with my mouth full of the apple deliciousness, I was trying to convince myself that what I was doing wasn't stilling.

It was then that I hear the slamming of a door close. I quickly eat the apple with its core and all and run towards the sound seems to be originated. I didn't even notice the pain and fatigue in my body, I just wanted some answers and someone to help me.

*Knock-knock knock*" Hello? Is anybody there?" I knocked at the door of a strange building with the looks of a gingerbread house.

"Quick Hide. It is outside" I hear whispers inside the house.

"Ok, that's it!! I am seeking tired of this!!. I had a really bad day to not only you try to play hide and sick with me but also you dare to call me it" I shouted angrily as I try with all my strength to knock the door down not caring it hurt like hell. An overwhelming feeling of adrenaline clouded my mind as I try to kick the door with my injured knee.

When I finally the door forced open, I stood there agape. What I could see was something new for me, a strange pink creature standing in two hooves with cotton candy hair smiling and staring at me with her blue eyes.

"Welcome monster. Here, I have a present for you," I took a step back in surprise when the strange creature said in my own language. In fact, I was so surprised by it that I didn't even notice the big canon next to her nor I notice when it graves with her hoof a small rope attach to the canon.

"And please, GET OUT OF MR. AND MRS. CAKE'S IS CLOSING TIME!!!!" The creature screams out loud pulling a cord from the cannon followed by an explosion of streamers and confetti.

"What the hell ....blaa *cough* ... was that?" I asked stumbling back trying to hold the puke back as the pieces of paper were deep inside my throat.

"Hey what tha... *bonk* I try to say but something else attacks me from my left follow up by the sound of something whooshing through the air.

"Ha, ha. Take that!" The victory yell of a female raspy voice was heard from the top of the clouds.

The hit pushes me a few meters as the sensation of my adventure so far were painfully back. "Haa why in the hell is everything trying to kill me today," I said angrily trying to look at the culprit.

"Yea Rainbow, take that monster down!!!" I hear the voice of the puffy equine on the house sheering her. I stare angrily at the blue horse with wings and multicolor mane.

"So, would you give up peacefully or I have to make you?" The horse with wings gleed at me.

"Oh, You wanna dance Ha, I am going to dance Skittles!!" I scream up in the air trying to intimidate the prismatic flying equine to leave me alone. My injuries were bad and I shouldn't do this but my pride and anger overcome my better judgment. "No one hit me without at least an apology" I started running towards that creature until something hold my arms and keep them close to my sides.

"Oh-oo, No you won't." I hear a heavy country accent from a girl before a lasso graved me. When I turn, I saw another of those strange creatures, this time an orange one without wings like the pink one. It was using her tail as an arm to hold the rope and her mouth to pull me to her. "No pony. And Ah mean no pony steal my apples and get away with it"

The little horse was stronger than she looks, for much I was struggling I couldn't help it but slowly coming to her as she was pulling me. I could see that next to her were a group of other of its kind saying things between each other but I could make up what.

"Ok, you want me to come to you. I will come," I said as I try with all my strength to pull one last time. Somehow, I was able to pull the horse to my side of the rope for a second making her stumble a little but she quickly pulls back harder with her mouth but that was all part of the plan. When she pulls, instead of pulling back I run towards her. It helps me gain momentum making me able to do a big jump and take out my good knee ready to strike the creature in the face.

But as I was getting closer, I look at her eyes. For a quick moment, I manage to see her more clearly, her blond hair, her green eyes, her freckles and her look of scared when she saw me rapidly closing in. I couldn't do it. I simply couldn't. At the last moment, I retracted my knee and use my other leg to change my direction a little making me fall and rolling at her right side at mare centimeters to hit her. Doing that was very bad for me, I was moving faster than I could control. I was only able to stop when my face meets a wall of a nearby house.

"What in tarnation?" It was the last thing I heard from that mare. My ears were buzzing, my nose was bleeding, I was seeing stars and I was pretty sure my leg wasn't supposed to bend that way. The group of horses gets together around the orange one. My leg was killing me and I was seeing blurry. I feel like I was about to lose conscience. But even if all of that was happening to me, I try to stand up because my pride was stronger than my sense of self-preservation, I didn't t want to admit my defeat.

Supporting my self with my no-so-good-but-better-than-the-other leg and with a hand on the wall I scream at them: "And there is more where it comes from" I really wasn't well. My fuzzy eyesight wasn't able to detect figures, only colors at this point and I swear I saw another purple figure that wasn't there before closing into me. But before I try to scream "back off" A bright light followed by the sensation of something hard and cold surrounded my body.

"Am-am I dead?" I thought since I wasn't even able to move my jaw. The cold material surrounding me was stuck to my body and I wasn't able to move for even an inch. Figuring out that the fuzziness I was seeing wasn't only from my concussion in my head but from the thing around me. I closing my eyes waiting for a miracle.

Time pass for what I believe where hours but it could just as well be seconds as a strange tingling sensation pass through my broken leg. "Hum... Ohhhh Hahahaha. HAHAHAHAHA," I start laughing, the tickle was now spreading through all parts of my body, especially in my injured leg and knee as the thig surrounding me was getting looser.

When the realization that I could move hit me, I use my arms and legs to break what was confining me in place. With a loud Crack I free myself still laughing for the strange tickling sensation. "I - I feel amazing Hahaha!!!" I scream jumping in my used-to-be broken leg. All my injuries, even the swollen hand, was cured and I feel a great amount of adrenaline passing through my veins.

"Quick!!! Seized it before it hurt anypony," One of the new horses who have a horn and a wing scream follow up by the orange one, the pink one, and the prismatic hair one getting ready taking a pose like wanting to tackle me along with the purple one that just screamed at me. w

Sensing the immediate danger, I look around seeing some flower pots and start throwing them at the pastel color horses. Many of the creatures were dodging them. Some others I managing to strike them in the head forcing them to clean the soil from there eyes. Taking the opportunity, I grab the rope, that was still around my wrist somehow, and run towards the orange one.

I take advantage that she wasn't able to see to tie her legs together enable her to move. It was hard but I was able to manage it.

"Ha-what? You?.... You Ah retract everything ah said about you!!!!" She yells angry at me trying to free herself.

"Hey!!! Leave her alone!!!" The one with wings says approaching at high speed at me from the sky.

"Hey" I scream back. "Catch!" I said raising the immobile creature above my head. She quickly understood what I was about to do and get in position. Then I throw the blond one into the pegasus. Luckily she catches her but the weight seems to be too much for her for the way she slowly hit the ground with her back.

"Ok, who is ne - eee...?" I try to say as I duck an incoming projectile I feel approaching from my back. Turning, I saw the pink horse using her canon to throw some kind of pink mass like cake at me. "What? It is cake with frosting" I asked out loud as some of it splash at my mouth. I quickly hide behind some tree, judging that they were thrown from a cannon, I feel like is safe to assume that the cakes hurt a lot

"Yes Pinkie, get it distracted. I will I try to crystalize it again." The one with a horn said as the pink puffy one maintain throwing her pastries at me with an unchanging smile."I can see she is really enjoying this" She was at the complete opposite side of the unicorn having me in the middle. Her horn starts glowing like if she was about to throw a big attack at me.

"Fuck it," I said to myself as I run towards the canon. "I prefer death by cake than death by laser beam" I use my jacket as some sort of shield but it didn't last long for the creamy bullets. I try my best at dodging and rolling but I couldn;t help it but to get hit two or three times. Have you ever had a food fight with cake? and have you ever been hit in the face with one? That is exactly what I fell in my arm when one hit me. I almost fall off, Luckily it seems the pink menace had run out of ammunition.

When she stopped shooting, I took the opportunity. As I was running, I could see how she had put a wedding cake size onto the canon... somehow. It seems that she underestimate my speed because she notices I was closing in but she keep loading the canon regardless. When the canon finally was loaded it was too late. I get close to the tip of the canon and quickly push it upwards making it aim backward for her surprise. "Take a taste of your own cake," I said pulling the string that ignites the shoot. The shoot sends her flying in the air with the big pink wedding cake around her. I only hear how she scream as she was flaying.upwards.

"Pinkie!!!!" The one glowing with a purplish glow scream as it seems her attack was finally charged. With an angry expression, a laser quickly shot out from her horn. I couldn't react fast enough to dodge it so I use my hand as a shield.

The beam of lights surrounded me completely making my effort of shielding myself completely useless. But once all creatures that were still watching hears not a surprised and defeated yell as they expected all of them had their mouths wide open, even the one who was still fairing the light of beam.

"HAHA stop. It tickles" I said for the surprise of everyone, even me as the same sensation I had felt before was around my hand but stronger. I couldn't help it but to laughing, It was a strange sensation but a pleasant one.

I open my eyes when I was able to tolerate the tingling sensation without laughing, When I did I saw small crystal-like formation around my skin that shatters and fall in the ground as I move. Fearing it could be dangerous, I run towards the beam try to grab the horn trying to make it stop. But as soon grabbed hold of it, a small explosion sends me and her flying in opposite directions. We both landed on bushes

I quickly shake my hand trying to get rid of the glass still around my hand. When no glass was visible I look around to see who was still standing. I could see most of my opponents weren't standing up, one tied up, other stuck in a tree struggling to get out from a cake and other semi-unconscious on a bush. I notice that some of the horses weren't there. The only still standing in there four hooves was the rainbow hair one and the one with a horn and wings.

"So you are next?" I said smiling at the skittles hair as she was looking at me with a smug smile, I hate to admit but I was enjoying this, I wasn't an aggressive kid when I was younger, I didn't get into any real fight but I am an adrenaline junkie. I did everything to feel the rush pass through my veins. Skating, paintball war, mountain biking, bungee jumping, parachute jumping. The luxury to have parents with money I guess. And so far there wasn't anything that makes pumping the blood of my hart as fast as fighting and winning for my life.

I turn around to face my next opponent with a smile, With my blood pumping faster than I ever felt before, I see how she was scratching the ground with her hoof ready to ramming at me. I was doing the same. We stay still waiting for any kind of sign to attack.

"Rainbow Wait!!" And there we go. We heard a scream and we started to run into each other giving our best war cry ready to strike each other. Our eyes meet each other, screaming and seeing how little by little we were about to crash. I rise a hand making a fist. she seems like she was ready to do a headbutt "I am going to punch that skull of hers" I thought as we were getting closer and closer until we get so close that I could see her iris.

"Wait, stop!!!!!" A female voice screams as we fill the hit. *Whomp*