The alarm clock buzzed harshly, signifying it was 7:00 in the morning. It kept going endlessly, until one familiar grey hoof came in to smash the snooze button, only to end up smashing the whole alarm broken.
"Good morning, Equestria!" Derpy Hooves shouted randomly. "It's a beautiful morning in Ponyville, and...oh wait, that's Vinyl's job! My job is to deliver mail!"
She ripped the sheet with a picture of a muffin on it off of her, accidentally throwing it out the window. Two things to replace in five minutes, it was going to be one of those days.
Thankfully, Derpy was more coordinated after her double vision came back to her. She ruffled the pillows back into place and took care of her usual morning business, before coming into her daughter's bedroom, the little filly still sound asleep.
"Hi Dinky!" she shouted. "It's time to go to school!"
"Oh Mom, it's a three day weekend!" Dinky said, rubbing her eyes around as she stretched around. Her mane was scrunchy and messed up, and she appeared like she hadn't slept in days. "Can I sleep in?"
"A three day weekend? That means we can spend the whole day together, and do things like eating muffins, and--"
"OK!" Dinky shouted. She rushed into her respective bedroom, and just as fast came out, her mane combed over and her horn looking ready to go.
"Now that's the spirit!" her mother said. "It's 7 in the morning, what should we do first?"
The filly unicorn thought about it, before coming to an idea. "I know what! I heard the Cakes have this really good coffee now, and I wanna try it!"
Derpy shook her head, laughing. "Silly filly, that's for grown up ponies like me! You won't like it for a while, but how about I buy donuts for breakfast!"
That was all Dinky needed to know. She ran outside the house, hopping up and down for Derpy to join her. She smiled and grabbed her wallet with her, and closed the front door behind her.
"Hey Mom, is that your blanket on the ground?"
"Um...maybe it is. Let me look...oh yes it is. Are you a little cold?"
Dinky nodded, warming herself up with her front hooves. Derpy nodded, and grabbed the blanket in her mouth, wrapping it around Dinky.
"It's so comfy. Now let's go!"
She hopped down the street, with an energy saved for ponies like Pinkie. It was a little hard for Derpy to keep up, but she managed to do so and walked on down, waiting for that coffee she heard about.
It seemed like Dinky was more excited than ever these days. Having been admitted to the magical school down in Canterlot for next school year, and the excitement of going to a new town was all so thrilling to both of them. It was a little sad, as Derpy would have to move away from all of her friends, but Canterlot was so close she could travel a lot.
They turned to the street the Sugar Cube Corner was, plain old Main Street. Here, there were all kinds of attractions and important buildings around here, like the Corner itself, Mayor Mare's office, and a bunch of little shops dotting the area.
But that wasn't important to Dinky, dashing to the Corner's storefront window as soon as she saw it. "Oh boy, they just opened their doors! Blueberry muffins, long john donuts, spiced milk, can we go in now?"
"Yes, but don't go and eat that stuff on the window. It's not for sale yet."
Dinky groaned as they pushed the doors open and came in, greeted with the delicious smell of icing, milk, and freshly made dough around someplace. Dinky's stomach grumbled in delight, and it wanted to be fed right now.
But there was nopony here other than them, which was strange. They could hear somepony in the back kitchen making something. Curious, Derpy rang the bell at the counter, getting her wallet ready.
Even for a place as kooky as Pinkie's workstation, they didn't expect what they saw. Twilight Sparkle came out with a plate full of cupcakes, but in every sense she looked weird. All of her mane was up in the air, and her pupils had shrunk to almost nothing. And that smile...oh that smile. Her whole teeth were bearing, and somehow having them being pearl white made them scarier.
"Hello, girls," Twilight said. "Welcome to the Sugar Cube Corner, how can I serve you today?"
Derpy's eyes went extra crossed, confused. "Where's Mrs. Cake? Pinkie Pie? Are you the only one here?"
"Of course," Twilight answered. "Haven't you heard? Pinkie Pie is teaching me self control with caffeine, and this is one of the steps: Learning to work without your teacher around. And because I'm such a gooood teacher, she took the day off and I'm filling in for her now!"
Dinky hid behind her mother, terrified of the wide-grin monster on the counter. "She scares me, Mom!"
"It'll be fine," Derpy reassured. "Hey, is the whole Starbits coffee what I've been hearing about in Ponyville?"
"I wouldn't know, because I'm all about the COFFEE, BABY--I mean, yes, it probably is. Starbits has become a huge hit in Ponyville since we carried them."
"Oh, goody!" Derpy said. "I want some of your plain black coffee, a cinnamon milk, and a half dozen cherry cupcakes, all to go!"
"Yes, Derpy and Dinky Hooves! Coming right for your mouth!"
Twilight's weird way of saying things were soon forgotten, as she went and made everything in that order with a scary sense of speed. The whole area was populated, not by a unicorn, but a massive purple blue going from place to place, making things as it went.
Dinky emerged from her hiding to watch, mystified by this. Pinkie Pie had never gone this fast in her career, and she was pretty good on getting orders finished on time. "Mom, how is she doing this?"
"I just don't know where she learned this," Derpy admitted.
Soon enough, there was an order of coffee, milk, and a box full of cupcakes inside. Twilight didn't break a sweat, still with the same energy as before, but with a lot more control than before.
"Is that everything for 15 bits? Because I would hate to get something wrong, that would be SO FRUSTRATING--I'm sorry, it would be frustrating, as I don't like to make mistakes."
Derpy examined all the goodies on display, and nodded that it was what she wanted. She dropped 15 bits down for Twilight to scoop up, and handed Dinky her milk and grabbed her own treats.
"Thanks Twi, but next time, not so much crazy, OK?" Derpy asked.
"I can't guarantee anything, but I'll try."
The gray pegasus nodded, and closed the door behind her, not realizing she shattered all the glass when she shut it.
Dinky stayed close to Derpy, terrified over everything that happened inside. Her mother noticed, and asked, "Do you want to ride on my back on the way home?" She nodded, and got in, covering them both in a muffin-decorated blanket.
The rest of the trip went rather well. There were a few friends saying good morning to the mail pony, and Rainbow Dash making her usual joke about how Derpy destroys everything she touches. That's not true, Derpy would always replied. The last time she touched Rainbow's wing, it didn't break until after she had left!
They found themselves back in the house, seating in the middle of the living room. Dinky opened the cupcake box and was greeted by a whiff of delicious cherry icing, and she couldn't wait for Derpy's permission.
"Go ahead," Derpy said, seeing Dinky's hungry eyes. "It does look delicious."
Nothing holding her back anymore, Dinky grabbed the nearest cupcake and stuffed the whole thing in her mouth. Her lips were coated in red icing, and she didn't notice that as she went for her second.
"Dinky!" Derpy shouted. "You need to clean that up before you have another."
"Fine," Dinky sighed. She went for the kitchen, and found the drawer where the napkins were. There was so much icing it would take a while to get rid of it all, with all the icing ending up on her lip, gaining a red and gooey mustache.
With a rare moment to herself, Derpy turned to the black coffee sitting on the table in front of her. The steam came out in one big whiff, swaying in the breeze the filly would make every time she moved. It didn't look anything out of the ordinary, and Derpy was starting to feel tired.
She grabbed the coffee in her hooves, grabbed the straw poking out, and took a good sip of it. "Yuck!" she replied. It tasted awful to her taste buds, like somepony grounded a bunch of beans but forgot to add any flavor.
And yet she took another drink. And another. It was a drug to her system, rewarding tasting that awful mix in exchange for gaining a little more energy with every sip. Strangely, she enjoyed it more over time, with a little hazelnut scent to the black tar.
It was all gone in minutes, and Dinky had finally got the final traces of the icing off her face. "There, all better now," her mother noted. "Now you can get your second, good job!"
Dinky buried her face in another one, while Derpy sat back in her sofa. Yep, that might have been the worst twenty ounces of anything she ever had, but she was ready for a full day with her daughter without dozing off now.
She picked up her first cherry cupcake, her sweet tooth wanting SOMETHING now after waiting all that time with those red jewels in front of it. She brought it up to her lips...
...and dropped it to the floor, staining the carpet below. Her stomach was rumbling in every angle, and it was starting to hurt.
"Mommy, what's wrong? Do you need to see a white coat pony?" Dinky asked.
"I don't know what's wrong with me! Stay back!"
Her lips felt like two beams of fire, and it felt like something was coming out of her throat. She ran to the bathroom, only for it to come out in the kitchen. She gasped as she was greeted by...
...a bubble from her lips. It floated around in the air, not moving up or down. It wasn't disgusting or anything, in fact it looked like something you would see after blowing into a bubble wand, clean and spotless.
"Wow, how did you do that?" Dinky marveled.
"I wouldn't have the slightest idea. What happens when you pop it?"
Encouraged by Derpy's curiosity, Dinky hopped up and reached for the bubble, popping it with her horn. And when it popped, for some odd reason, a muffin came from within and fell to the floor.
They jumped back in surprise, there wasn't any hint a muffin was inside until Dinky popped it. Derpy hid behind the counter, afraid it might move or something. But that didn't stop Dinky, and she slowly got closer to the delicacy.
"Don't do it Dinky, it might crumble its crumbs all over you!" Derpy warned.
"What's the big deal? Muffins are awesome. Right, Mom?"
She sniffed around it, and took a big bite. "Ooh, it's banana!"
"Banana? That's almost my favorite--" She hiccuped again, and another bubble came out. She popped this one, and a blueberry muffin emerged from within. "Now that's my favorite!" She grabbed it and munched it down.
"How are you doing this, Mom?"
"I don't know, but this is the best muffin I ever tasted!"
It only got better after that. A bunch more bubbles came out of Derpy, and the mother and daughter worked together to guide them to hover over a table, and popped them all. More than a dozen muffins emerged, and they had them for breakfast. They were some of the best the mother obsessed with muffins had, and Dinky thought it was the best thing ever.
"Can you make more bubbles?" she asked.
"Let me see..."
On demand, more and more muffins came out like clockwork, and it flooded the kitchen with crumbly goodness.
"I don't think we can eat them all!" Derpy said.
"Yeah, I'll get sick if I eat another muffin today," groaned Dinky.
"Then what should we do about them?"
"How about we open a stand?"
"That's a brilliant idea! But that's going to take some work..."
---------------
Within the next month, a new stand opened up in the Ponyville Marketplace, operated exclusively by Derpy and Dinky Hooves. Selling nothing but muffins would be a difficult task in such a competitive atmosphere.
Yet the business had amazing sales, thanks to the reputation of the quality of muffins available. Since Dinky was still in school and Derpy loved her mail service job, they had a rule of only being open during weekends.
However, this caused so much demand on the open days, in addition to the profitability, that Derpy and Dinky decided to make it a business and hire employees. It became Twilight's next side job after the Cakes found a destroyed oven inside, and Fluttershy was willing to give this "retail" job a try. It worked better than she thought it would.
But in the end, no matter how ludicrous the magical muffin business went the first year, the two grey ponies would always be there for the weekends, the mother trying her best not to destroy the stand by just sitting on it, and both greeting the customers with warm smiles, always.