//------------------------------//
// Chapter 2 
// Story: Discord's Made a Foal of Me 
// by Hailstorm_ 
//------------------------------//

As I tried to come to terms with the fact that I was really in Equestria, Discord continued to ruffle my already messy mane. “Now please, be on your best behavior. You only get one first impression, and the one you gave me was very poor as it is. No swearing, no references, no being rude, no stupid questions, no smart ones either, no…” 

He continued to list off rules and regulations for meeting Twilight, but they faded to nothingness as my breathing grew quicker and quicker. I still had no idea what was going on, and the more Discord told me the more confusing it got. And the worse the tightness in my chest got. I needed to get out of here, but my hooves were stuck to the ground.

Literally. They were glued.

Discord clicked his tongue, interrupting his lecure to berate me. “Oh come now, I’m trying to make sure your integration to Equestria is as quick and painless as possible, and you’re trying to run off on me?” He picked me up with his claw and paw, and finally I realized how small I was as he lifted me several feet off the ground. “You can go find friends to play with later, but this is important. How is Twilight going to meet you if you keep trying to avoid it?”

I would have quipped sarcastically, but I was too busy kicking my hooves in an attempt to find purchase on some sort of surface while crying out in fear. Discord dropped me soon after, but thankfully there was a soft pillow below to break my fall.

“Maybe what we need to do is slow down.” Discord said as he came to a rest on the ground, finally eye level with me without him picking me up. “What’s wrong, do you not like your new home? Is it too cold? I could turn the heat up for you.” A dial appeared in the air and, as Discord turned it up, I noticed that the snow outside began to melt. I instinctively turned it down before it could cause much panic, much to Discord’s dismay.

“I just… what’s going on?” I asked, my voice still quivering from the fright I’d just endured. “You haven’t given me a straight answer since I got here, and I still don’t know why I’m a foal, or why I’m about to meet Twilight, or why I’m even here?” I stomped my hoof, which didn’t make as much of a noise as I wanted it to. “Just answer my questions and I’ll do what you want.”

I didn’t have much room to debate, and we both knew this, but I had to do something. I had no other options.

Discord breathed hard through his nose, as if he was disappointed in me. He took out a clipboard and, after adjusting his glasses, marked something down. “I did say ‘no stupid questions’, but I suppose I can make an exception just this once.” Even still, he looked me over and continued to write down more notes.

Getting suspicious, I walked on over to see what he was writing, only to see a very crass drawing of my former human form. “H-hey!” I squeaked in the few moments it was visible before Discord hid it.

“That was classified. You only have yourself to blame.” The clipboard vanished into thin air and was instead replaced with a thin picture book. “But while you’re here, I think it’s time for a little story. It might be a little young for you even still, but I can tell it’ll be very informative.”

I shot Discord a look, but he very clearly ignored it. 

He opened the book, and the first page depicted Discord sitting down on a bench, though the drawing wasn’t true to life as I counted eleven abs and a long, gloriously flowing mane. “You see, once upon a time there was a stunningly handsome, but lonely Draconequis. Lonely both because he was the only one of his kind, but also because he had no one who he allowed to get close enough to him.”

“What about Fluttershy?” I asked. Both Discords shushed me.

The Discord telling the story cleared his throat. “That was until he met a nerdy princess.” He turned the page, and the picture on the next one depicted a, thankfully, more normal looking Discord sitting next to a cartoonish depiction of Twilight Sparkle. The purple princess looked to be yammering on about nothing while Discord looked on with disinterest, rolling his eyes every now and then.

“As annoying as Twilight was, and believe me her lectures on friendship can get annoying after the hundredth time, Discord still appreciated the effort. It wasn’t every day that ponies wanted to help him change instead of just running in fear.” He breathed out a sigh, but instead of continuing on that tangent he just turned the page.

The setting was different, with Discord laying in his bed in the middle of the night. A thought bubble of Twilight was above his head. “It wasn’t long until Discord couldn’t get this dumb pony out of his mind and…” He trailed off, looking at his watch again. Somehow the time had changed, even if it was drawn on.

With an annoyed grumble, he flicked through the rest of the pages quickly. “Let’s see, dates, parties, worry, marriage, inappropriate, inappropriate, severely inappropriate.” He kept flicking for another minute, creating new pages just for the joke, before laying one of the last pages out. It was simple, Discord with lit lightbulb above his head. “After learning that he and Twilight couldn’t quite reproduce, Discord was forced to improvise. So, the ever intelligent Draconequis came up with a plan.”

He laid out the final page, which was just a thin mirror. I saw the both of us staring at the page, and Discord wrapped an arm around me. “I decided that if I couldn’t produce a child with Twilight, I would just make one of my own.” He looked over at me with a wide grin. “And that’s where you come in, kiddo. Does this all make sense now? Can we get it over with?”

Discord wasn’t kidding, it really was dumbed down enough to help even myself understand it. I had some questions, but I had enough to work off of.

“So, all I have to do is pretend to be your son and I can stay here in Equestria?” I asked. Despite how positive this deal looked in both of our favors, I was still wary of any hidden addendums to it. 

“You’ll have to be our son, but yes. That’s pretty much it.” For once, Discord gave a kind smile as he leaned in, waiting for my answer. 

With a soft chuckle, I wrapped my hooves around his long, noodly neck and gave him a hug. “Then I’m ready to meet Twilight, daddy.”

I was all ready for a nice moment as our makeshift family formed, but it was quickly interrupted by a soft retch as Discord pushed me away. He looked at me seriously. “If you call me that again, the deal is off and I can find someone else.”

I felt a pang of fear run through me as I jumped up and took a step back. “Sorry!” I squeaked, but then shook my head. “So, uh, dad. I think I’m ready to meet Twilight.” I scratched at the floor nervously, not really ready to meet the friendship horse, but I had to keep up an act until I cemented my place in Equestria. 

Discord nodded, but then he blanched as he seemed like he forgot something. He stood up, then floated above the ground as he tapped a claw to his chin. “Oh, that’s no good. I knew that I was missing something...” He turned to me with an apologetic grin. “I may just need to talk to Twilight about you before introducing you two.” Approaching the door, he snapped his claws and between us was suddenly a pile of comic books. “Entertain yourself until I get back. I won’t be long, I promise.” Without another word, he phased through the door and left me alone in Equestria for the first time.

I looked over the comics for a short moment, noting that they all had ‘Property of: SPIKE’ on the front. Way to keep up the collector’s value, dude. With a somewhat miffed sigh, I ignored them in favor of approaching the door myself.

I pressed an ear to the door and, when confused when I couldn’t hear anything, rethought my positioning and pressed my pony ear against the door. 

I still couldn’t hear anything.

It was a very thick door.

So I pushed the door open and hoped that no one inside would notice or care about the loud scraping sound it made.

“What was that?” I heard a female voice, obviously Twilight’s due to how Strong it was, say as she was interrupted in saying whatever it was they were talking about. 

Discord was quick to respond with an audible snap which pulled me into the room and closed the door behind me. I was worried for a moment, but looking down at my hooves I could see that I was very much invisible. Perfect to get into all kinds of mischief, but all I wanted to do was stick around and see how this went. My future depended on it, after all.

He waved away what just happened, giving off a shrug. “Probably just some wind. You know how it is, some wind just always gets where it doesn’t belong.” He glared pointedly at me.

Twilight followed his gaze and, upon seeing nothing, just shrugged it off as Discord being Discord. “Alrighty then. So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?” Already she looked to be defensive while she sat at her desk.

While Discord tried to find the best way to broach the topic of child rearing to her, I decided that I wanted to get a bit closer to the action. I quietly, and very stealthily, took two steps forward and ended up tripping on a stray pile of books, flopping on the ground and making a sizable mess of what few books were in the pile. Maybe not being able to see my own hooves wasn’t a good idea.

Everyone in the room jumped, but Discord used his magic to lazily drag over a book that was in the middle of the pile, take a disgusted look at it, then toss it behind his back. “Well, I came to ask if you’ve given any thought into adoption.” He asked, sliding closer to Twilight and wrapping a claw around her. “I may not like the idea of filling out paperwork or anything like that, but I’ll be willing to make an exception for something like this.”

Twilight grimaced.

Oh no.

“Well, about that.”

Oh fuck.

Twilight nuzzled Discord gently, placing a soft kiss against his cheek. “I’ve been thinking it over, and I don’t know if I want to go through with it at this point in time.” Sensing his unease as he looked over to me in shock, she just nuzzled him deeper. “All of my princess duties are already time consuming, and that’s not even getting into the whole ‘Savior of Equestria’ thing. I don’t think it would be fair to anyone to have to pick between my role or a foal. Not until I know I’d be able to spend an appropriate time on both.” 

Discord and I shared a look, his still shocked while mine very scared. And yet, as he looked down at Twilight, he couldn’t help but smile, though it was still very strained. “Are you sure? I don’t know about you, but I’d love to have a little bundle of chaos running around and getting into trouble. I could always take care of him while you do your duties.” Befitting Discord, he couldn’t resist laughing at that.

And yet I was the child.

Twilight simply shook her head. “That wouldn’t be fair to you, putting all your chaotic duties aside for a foal.” Discord’s laughter was uproarious at this point, but Twilight just ignored it. It was normal. Instead, she put a hoof on Discord’s paw. “I think we should both wait until we both have the time to spare before even considering adopting. Then we’ll need to somehow visit orphanages all around Equestria without being spotted, lest we get any paparazzi on our tails, then we’ll have to-”

Discord lazily put a claw up, stopping Twilight’s rambling almost immediately. With a sad sigh, he pressed his lips against her forehead, right under her horn. “I respect your decision, Twilight. I just hope that, someday?” He looked down at her with a sad hopefulness, his eyes flicking over to me as, slowly, the door behind me opened without a sound.

“Someday.” Twilight repeated as I tried to channel my inner Snake Plissken and get the heck out. “Just, probably not soon. The Princesses and I are still trying to track that huge influx of magic from earlier today.”

I stopped in my tracks half out the door as Twilight continued, my ears angling to catch what was important enough to interest all four princesses. 

I heard paper shuffling, and Twilight giving an annoyed grumble. “I don’t even want to know how she knows this, but Cadance tells me it feels like very strong Necr-”

“Well would you look at the time!” Discord’s voice boomed loudly, over whatever it was that Twilight was trying to say. “Flutters and I were going to have a little tea party and I’m already almost late to being early. I might not have enough time to set up.” I then heard a very wet kiss. “I love you, sweetheart, but I simply must go.”

Without leaving any room for argument, he phased back through the door and grabbed be my the tail, moving me out of the way of the door as it slammed shut. 

Breathing out a sigh, he dropped me to the floor again, this time without any padding and causing me to cry out in pain. But I didn’t have much time to react any other way as I was instantly distracted by Discord pacing in front of me.

The weight of what had just happened finally dawned on me as my chest tightened and I felt pangs of fear start to shoot down my spine. I quivered as I stood back up, looking up at Discord who had a face of shock and anger. “W-what are we gonna do now? Do I g-get to stay with you until Twilight comes around?” 

Discord looked down at me, and for once in the short time that I knew him personally, he looked lost. “I...don’t know.” He huffed, pulling out the clipboard from before and setting it on fire. “I need to rethink my plan. Wait here, I’ll be back.”

Then he disappeared.

And I was alone again.

I followed orders for a few moments, waiting where he told me to in hopes that he would return with a new plan that would keep me in Equestria for the rest of my life, now extended by about ten years barring a non-natural death.

Then moments turned to minutes as I began pacing the hallway, my breathing quickening as I prayed for any sort of answer. I didn’t want to run off into Ponyville proper just yet, as I knew that the moment I left Discord would reappear and look for me, but just standing around doing nothing was stressing me. 

I looked back over to the stack of comics, the first one in the pile being a Power Ponies comic, and shrugged a small bit. It was something to keep me distracted.

Just as I laid down on the cold crystalline floor and began to peruse the sad backstory of the second Hum-Drum, I heard an increasing sound of a set of feet tapping against the ground, hurrying towards me before sliding to a stop audibly.

“What the heck?” Came a voice from slightly down the hall, drawing my attention to a purple dragon standing not too far away from me. “Who are you and what are you doing with my comics? Those things are collector’s items, you know.” Spike told me as he slowly approached me, waiting to see what I would do.

I stood up and jumped back. Spike was probably one of the main non-ponies I wanted to meet if/when I was whisked off to Equestria. And now here we were, and from his POV I was one of the weirdest thieves he’s met. Normally they leave before they look over their haul.

I opened my mouth to respond with something to defuse the situation, but instead I just stammered and stuttered. “I, uh, well…you see...” 

And then I bolted the other way, knocking the pile of comics over with my hindlegs to throw Spike off his rhythm and prevent him from giving chase as I looked for an exit. 

“Hey, get back here!” Spike shouted as he started to give chase but, as I galloped away as fast as I could, sighed and instead disgruntledly picked up what I left him.

I took the first left turn and, after a strong, weird feeling in my forehead and a bright flash of green, I found myself outside. 

But I wasn’t in front of the Friendship Castle, I hadn’t even passed through the doorway. Instead, I was in the middle of a large field of apple trees. Snow fell lazily around me as I shivered and shook, buffeted by a cold my small, unclothed body clearly wasn’t used to.

“Uh, howdy.” I heard a childish and female voice from behind me. “Where in the heck did you pop up from?”