-Fizzle, morning, Airship Mauled-
This day started out with us addressing Shining Armor’s quivering contingent of royal guards that were looking in every direction in fear. Shining looked up from the stallion he was hugging at my uniform, I was of course wearing my Hayburger hat.
“How do you live like this?!” Shining asked after a moment of contemplation and blankly staring at us.
“They attack occasionally, but it’s best not to say those two specific words or else they attack immediately as if speaking of the devils themselves. You’ve been kind of setting them off repeatedly, did you know it’s a self-punishing law around here to not say those two specific words unless circumstances require it or you are the mayor herself?” Why did I receive such a boggled look, Shining could have just asked any one of us why the ‘Highland Pukwudgies’ kept attacking him and his group. Ignoring him, I turned to Velvet and Arizona beating the crap out of each other again. Only they seemed less angry and much happier to be doing this as of late. “Excuse me for interrupting what is another over the top violent moment for you two, but Jade wants Velvet to come with us today. She said we could use someone who could stop most forms of fire with magic and you would definitely be quite helpful today if you came along with us Velvet.”
It was just something that we thought would be needed if any more attempts to set the restaurant on fire actually missed hitting Flamberge the Flambé Dragon.
“Do you need any muscle today?” Why did Arizona sound like she was pleading when she said that? I think she seemed to be a little… off. The rough and tumble cow looked to be a little skittish for some reason. “I want to come with you guys! I need… er… I need more of a challenge, yeah that’s it!”
“Give me a moment to catch my breath and to fix my floof, I am willing to accompany you to this... Ponyville.” By comparison Velvet seemed completely normal, if exhaling clouds of ice and frost was normal for magical reindeer after exerting herself in brutal combat with a young cow that has what amounts to super strength beyond that of even an Earth Pony. “It sounds like quite a quaint place and I wanted to get out of town today anyway.”
If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear Velvet was never going to return home at this rate and was going to become a long term resident of Airship Mauled.
“Well no one is stopping either of you from coming and I doubt the royal guards wants us to call ‘them’ to fight again so soon.” I shook my head in derision as the guards whined and cowered at the words I directed towards them, the royal guard were actually getting pretty good at dealing with pukwudgies. Which was more than a hundred percent increase in their overall performance as guards. That was a little sad come to think of it. “Grab whatever you want, we’re about to set off for work today.”
-Hayburger, Velvet-
“So you want us to prevent this place from being attacked by anything?” I couldn’t understand the importance of such a low brow establishment compared to Kurilian’s high class cooking establishment.
Jaded nodded to me with her arms crossed, before she turned to the door which was being opened by Maries.
“Snickers will warn us if something dangerous is going to happen. Fluttershy set up a network of birds to watch out for trouble.” Now there was something that Jade could have mentioned earlier, now I’m going to be paranoid about birds watching me all day.
Fluttershy was a strange pony, always quiet and kind. She’s really quite sweet and that tends to rub off on you, also a good conversationalist. She’s not my type at all personally, but she is quite lovely to look at.
The young mare just doesn’t match the majesty of rippling muscles, strength and raw power that is an honest and hardworking endearing ruffian like… oh dear. No… oh no, no, no… I am not attracted to Arizona!
I can’t be attracted to her strength, her ability to get in my face without backing down… how she never holds back against me in a fight and can give me quite a challenge. She’s horrible, uncouth, a constant mental strain on all things beautiful and quite adorably huggable for her size!
Did I just seriously…? I need something to happen quickly to get my mind off of her.
“Coo hiss coo!” Hearing Snickers cry of panic and that of multiple birds screeching in warning, we all turned to see something rise up in the distance. It was quite noticeable, mostly because it was heading towards the Hayburger and it was on fire.
“Oh look, a fire devil… you don’t see those every day. They are more commonly known as…” Jade started off as if she were talking about the weather and that would be a logical assessment for what was approaching the Hayburger this morning.
What I was seeing was a tall if somewhat tight tornado of fire slowly heading in our direction and a bunch of winged equines panicking in the sky.
“Fire whirl!” A pony shouted as the panicking grew worse, the slow moving tornado was singing homes and encroaching towards us without pause.
“Yes, that… well we certainly called it on that. Just not how I thought it would go though, good luck with the fire twister. I’ll leave this up to you and Arizona to handle, we’ve got to start setting up for the breakfast rush.” Seriously?! You were going to seriously leave this to us Jaded! “Look, I know what you’re thinking, but I don’t exactly have anything or even a plan that can even stop or top that thing. You’re an expert in ice magic, I’m sure you can figure it out. So go put the ‘ice’ in ‘nice’ and bring it down to save the town, ugh my mother rhyming throughout breakfast this morning has got me doing it... again.”
“Doors open Jade, get to the counter! Help me warm up the fryer Maries, Flamberge start on the coffee! Move it people, we don’t have all day to gawk at the thing of imminent death!” It seemed Fizzle was forcefully ordering them around and they were actually listening.
Soon our friends were inside leaving me and the, admittedly, cute and muscular small cow outside.
Now how would we handle a slowly encroaching flaming tornado of destruction coming at the restaurant that was burning the ground black as it moved? I even took in the fact that it was sucking up tons of loose grass and the straw from nearby houses to empower itself.
“How do you want to handle this Prissy Princess?” Probably shouldn’t have told Arizona I was of noble descent, but it would have eventually come up anyway if I were to introduce Arizona to my… where has my mind gone and why am I suddenly even contemplating showing her to my parents? They wouldn’t like her on the principle of her gender alone. Maybe that’s the point, I actually wanted them to hate everything about her. Feeling something smack solidly against my head, I gave Arizona my attention. “Hello, earth to overcompensating Ice Queen, big tornado of flaming death coming our way. Where’s your head at that that is not your most immediate concern!”
“What? Oh right… well… the tornado is definitely an immediate concern… of course.” I had to focus on the matter at hoof and not that of Arizona’s toned flank. “Could you grab the attention of a pegasus? I think I may need their assistance.”
“Heh, I can do that easily!” Reaching underneath her neck bandana, she pulled out a coil of what I assume to be magic proof rope. How she could have possibly acquired such rope, I’ll never know.
I still don’t know where Arizona even kept pulling it from when she fought me, especially with the bandana around her neck being smaller than the coil of rope in question. It was almost as distracting as some of the ponies going into the Hayburger despite the crisis at hoof here.
They must really like this Hayburger’s breakfast menu, that or they were running from the homes that were catching fire due in part to the heat coming off the tornado. I could feel the warmth at this distance, we really needed to get our act together and focus on stopping it.
Taking the rope into her mouth Arizona started twirling it and then, with a heave and snap of her neck, the lasso shot skywards. Arizona immediately caught a pegasus, of whom she proceeded to yank into the ground in a exceedingly painful manner that knocked the poor… mare… unconscious.
“Arizona, that was uncalled for! I said get the attention of one, not knock them out you cute brainless dolt!” I pointed to the poor unconscious pony on the ground with my right hoof.
“Did you just call me cute?” Why was that the thing that Arizona was focusing on! Also, why the buck did I say that!?
“Coo!” Both our attentions was drawn to Snickers who pointed to the few flying ponies staring at us, she must have heard us and did it for us. Well then… don’t I feel embarrassed?
“I need some help creating a counter tornado from all of you! Start whipping up a tornado around me and I’ll handle the rest.” Moving to take my stance, I was building up magic to prepare for what would be one of my most impressive performances yet. “Arizona, you may want to get to a safe distance or figure out how to add something to this that will stop the fire devil.”
“Say, can’t one of you stop that thing with rain?” Arizona asked with a flat tone. “Also you know I’m not going to back down from something like this Ice Queen!”
“We’ve tried, the tornado is too strong for the rain clouds." A pegasus stallion answered her question as they started to circle around me, I could see the wind quickly whipping up. "It just keeps drying them out and absorbing the rest!”
“Oh, I have an idea!” Of course you do Arizona, though I had to comment on this.
“That’ll be a first.” At my words, Arizona snorted angrily.
“You haven’t even heard what it is yet Velvet! I need some rain to create a lot of mud around here!” What was Arizona going to do with mud and did she just say my name with respect?
“Some of you do what she needs!” I nodded to some of the pegasi and they broke off to go grab some clouds and start making it rain between me and the Hayburger.
While the mud started building up under the focused rain clouds, Arizona ran over to the Hayburger and a Pegasus gave her a lift to the roof… what was she planning?
It didn’t matter, the winds were strong enough. I needed to focus on creating a counter tornado now!
I got up on my hind legs and started to twirl, icy winds started to form around me. A tornado to match the incoming one started to build up around me with my magic empowering it, much to the surprise of the pegasus ponies who suddenly pulled away and went to help Arizona with whatever it was she was doing.
The world around me began to blur and I could hardly see how fast I was spinning, but I was slowly digging a small hole in the ground. I stopped suddenly and quickly oriented myself to buck the roaring ice devil at the conflagrant fire devil.
I was only going to get one shot at this, but I wasn’t bound to miss. I bucked out and instead of the tornado shooting out quickly, it started to slowly move forward.
“Cannonball!” Cannon what? Turning to see Arizona slam to the ground in a frighteningly powerful manner, to the point that I could feel the whole world shake for a second.
The end result of said fall sent a humongous wave of mud flying right toward me, I was impressed by just how much mud there was in the wave and how much Arizona managed to displace with her comparatively small form.
I would of course get revenge for her muddying my floof like this, it was only natural that I do, but I had to admit that it was quite an amazing sight. Well it was amazing before I was hit by it, I thankfully managed to anchor my hooves to the ground using my ice magic and weathered the sea of mud.
After mud wave ended for me, I looked behind me at the tornado I had created to counter the fire devil. The mud wave pushed the now muddy ice tornado into somehow miraculously going faster, it slammed into the other tornado and they started to grind into one another.
“Duck, and, cover!” Arizona shouted in an enunciated tone, I didn’t think she even knew how to enunciate. She tackled me to the ground and covered me with her small form, I had wondered why.
My wondering turned to horror as I realized what the hot and cold tornadoes would do when combined, I was blinded and deafened by the sound of the two tornadoes causing a massive explosion.
The explosion, however, was muted by all the mud that Arizona added into the tornado I formed.
It took a few minutes before I could return to my senses and realize that Arizona was hugging me too affectionately.
I looked around, everyone seemed okay and despite all odds the only untouched building around was the Hayburger. Every other building was covered in chunks of mud and all that mud and ice had put out the buildings that had been set ablaze by the fiery tornado.
“Not so dumb now am I?” Oh no, I still thought you were pretty dumb Arizona, but I must admit I hadn’t thought as far ahead as to what would happen when the two tornadoes collided.
“You messed up my floof again you maligned mooing miscreant!” Despite screaming this in her face in an angry manner, my heart was speeding up at how closely she had hugged me. I quickly calmed down. “Though I must admit, you are quite right and it was a brilliant way to defuse the destruction the two tornadoes would have caused otherwise.”
She gave me such an insufferable and inviting smug smile. I was not going to kiss her… why I refused to!
-Jade-
“What I would like to know is how that tornado even got started.” This is why the Ponyville Construction crew was never jobless, always something weird in Ponyville and never a dull day as far as I have seen. This day was just getting started and bam! Fire tornado right out of the gate as soon as we got to the Hayburger. Was this one of the reasons why Rainbow Dash becomes a weather pony? “Anyway, was that fried egg Hayburger with or without the yolk broken?”
“I like it broken please, also I think it might be due to the incompetence of the current weather manager. We don’t have anyone nearly as dumb as she is to take her place.” That somehow explained so much Mayor Mare, it really kind of did.