There’s a party at the city, and everyone should come!
In the pre-dawn darkness, Diamond Tiara woke with a start. Something was wrong. Had she overslept? Wait. This wasn't her bed. The warmth of the embrace was comforting. The scent was familiar. Silver Spoon? Of course! This was a sleepover. There was nothing she really had to do except go to school. The filly turned to look at the clock; its glowing hands showed four o'clock.
Muzzily, Silver Spoon said, "What's wrong? It's not even morning yet."
Diamond Tiara laughed softly. "Everything is right. It's just been such a long time since I've had this much sleep."
"What do you mean? We were up super late."
"You're right. Sorry to wake you."
Silver Spoon snuggled against her friend. "G'night, Diamond Tiara."
"Good morning, Silver Spoon." Each filly gave a wide yawn before falling asleep.
Promptly at seven o'clock, the magic glockenspiel banished sleep for another morning. A pair of maids burst into the bedroom and carried the fillies out by the scruffs of their necks and carried them to the waiting step-in bathtub. Manesworth announced, "Breakfast will be served in one hour." As the fillies were scrubbed from nose to tail, Diamond Tiara said, "This was always my favorite part of the sleepovers."
Silver Spoon giggled, "This the only way to go for a pony on a schedule."
Mere minutes later, the two stepped into the drying station, where a built-in charm separated water from fur and deposited in the drain. The maids brushed and combed, completing the grooming for the pair.
As Silver Spoon put on her glasses and pearl necklace, Diamond Tiara looked puzzled. "Hey, this isn't my tiara." The item in question was woven from silver wire with small diamonds set in as accents. Two pieces were featured in the center, a tenth-bit and a small pearl.
Silver Spoon said, "I was waiting for the right moment to give this to you. I know how much you miss your parents, so I made something so you could keep a little bit of them wherever you go."
"I . . . I don't know what to say."
Silver Spoon set the tiara on her friend's head. "How about 'thank you'? Come on, let's go to breakfast. I can just feel that this will be a great day."
As the pair walked to school, Silver Spoon could not help but think how everything seemed, clearer, fresher, nicer. Could that truly be the result of a good night's sleep. Silver Spoon startled her when she said, "I can't wait for tonight; I have all sorts of scary bat stories to tell you."
Diamond Tiara replied, "Bats are scary, but clowns are worse."
"How can that be?" asked Silver Spoon. "They make ponies laugh."
Shuddering, Diamond Tiara said, "Believe me, you don't want to know."
In the one-room schoolhouse, seeing Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara together again gave Cheerilee a bit of hope that she hadn't felt since her student's tragedy. While this was a solid first step in the youngster's recovery, she still had a long way to go. Cheerilee could not understand why Foal Protective Services had taken no action on such an egregious case. Even a blind pony could see that Diamond Tiara was being abused; the filly should have been placed in foster care months ago. Every time the teacher tried to move the case forward, she was stonewalled.
During the first recess, Cheerilee frowned when she saw Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle approach their old tormentors. The way Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara had carried on in class had led the teacher to believe that things were getting back to normal. However, "normal" also meant that the rich fillies would be picking on the Cutie Mark Crusaders again. From a distance, she watched for any hint of trouble.
Out of Cheerilee's hearing, Scootaloo said, "Hey, Diamond Tiara." In an icier tone, she continued, "Silver Spoon."
"What do you want this time?" asked the pink filly with a hint of exasperation.
Sweetie Belle said, "You're invited to Twilight's castle this afternoon after class."
"Are you serious? I have plans with Silver Spoon already. Go have fun without me."
Silver Spoon said, "That's all right. We can go there first, DT."
Scootaloo shook her head. "It's private."
The rich fillies glared at the pegasus.
Scootaloo continued, "The princesses want to talk to you."
"They've been yelling at me for three days straight! Can't I have even one day's peace?"
Sweetie Belle replied, "We're just the messengers."
Diamond Tiara deflated. "I know. I'm sorry."
As she watched Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle walk away, Silver Spoon asked, "What is going on?"
"Apparently, I'm still in some sort of trouble with the princesses. We're still on for tonight; I'll be over as soon as I can."
Silver Spoon protested, "Let me go with you; I can't let you face them alone."
Sighing, Diamond Tiara replied, "I can't. Believe me, I'd be in even more trouble if you came."
The other twowere about to leave, when Diamond Tiara asked. “Hey, how’s Apple Bloom?”
“Still at the hospital.” said Sweetie Belle. “There was a complication with her procedure, and she would have to stay at the hospital for a bit longer. But, the doctor can handle it. Before you realize, she’ll be with us again.”
“Good to know.” said Diamond, as the two left.
Like any good castle, the Castle of Friendship had its share of secret escape tunnels. Diamond Tiara entered the one with a spare costume. Minutes later, Batmare stepped out of Spike's closet. From there, she went to Starlight Glimmer's old room and shut the door. She then tipped back the head on the bust of Haycartes and pressed the button that was hidden underneath.
The armoire swung back to reveal the War Room. Unlike the throne room, this was meant to be accessible only to a privileged few. The middle of the room had a large table that featured a projection of the Cutie Map. The chairs around it had different markings, each depicting its intended occupant. To Batmare's dismay, almost all were occupied. Befitting her role, Princess Twilight sat between Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Arrow sat next to Celestia while Canary sat by his other side. Sweetie Borg sat next to Canary, while Dash sat between her and Alicorn Marevel. Next to Marevel was an empty seat for Green Lantern. The last empty seat was next to Luna. With a sigh, Batmare walked to take her place next to her mentor.
To Batmare's surprise, a visitor chair had been set behind Twilight. The Dark Knight asked, "Pinkie Pie? What are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you, silly."
Without a hint of fear, Batmare looked directly at Celestia and said, "If this is about the train, I take responsibility for what happened. It was only thing I could do to save Canterlot Station."
The solar princess said, "We're here to talk about the clown."
"What can I tell you? The first time I saw him was on that train." The others all eyed her skeptically.
Luna said, "Think carefully, my knight. You said he seemed familiar for some reason."
"I already told you, I don't know why."
Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared in front of Batmare, looking her in the eye. "Are you sure?"
Defiantly, Batmare replied, "Positive."
Eyeball to eyeball, Pinkie Pie said, "Are you sure you're sure?"
"Yes!"
"You don't remember even a smidgen about Cheese Sandwich?"
Batmare backed up in shock. "Cheese Sandwich?!"
Haughtily, Arrow asked, "What did you do to that maniac?" Gently, he touched the still-healing scars that the clown had inflicted on his face.
"I saved his life."
"What?!" came from the astonished others.
"It was in Manehattan. I'd tracked some would-be bank robbers to a cheese factory next to a Manehattan First Bank branch. I was on a catwalk over a vat of cheese sauce when one of them blasted me into Cheese Sandwich and knocked him into the vat. I fished him out before he drowned."
Celestia raised and eyebrow. "Cheese sauce?"
Batmare shrugged. "For internal use only, I guess. It's good to eat, but not to touch. I don't think I even want to know what's really in it. My suit and the emergency shower saved me from it. Cheese Sandwich was soaked in the stuff for more than a minute before I could get him out and clean him off. Now that I think about it, his fur was already beginning to change color when I left."
Twilight's brow furrowed. "You must have been the last thing he saw when he was drowning in that madness. That must be why he blames you."
"If you already know who the clown is, why did you have to drag me in during my recuperation? You're the ones who keep saying I need time to be a filly, and the second I actually start having fun, you make me stop."
Luna replied, "That was never our intention, my knight."
Canary added, "Every time somepony questions him about his motives or his background, he gives some sort of nonsensical story."
Celestia finished. "There is only one common thread: you."
Dash said, "It's like you're always there, looking over him, making him want to do the things he does."
Batmare pursed her lips. "And where is he now?"
"He is safely locked away," replied Luna.
Celestia said, "He's in the same maximum security cell where we had Arrow. We have him in the straitjacket and restraints meant for those who would be a danger to themselves or others."
Worried, Batmare said, "You do realize that Arrow escaped in less than twenty-four hours."
"He's on the long road to rehabilitation," said Celestia.
With a touch of anxiety, Pinkie Pie asked, 'Do you suppose I could visit him?" Her mane deflated when the others replied with sad smiles.
Luna said, "Nay, Pinkamina Diane Pie. The stallion you knew as Cheese Sandwich is gone. All that is left is the Joker."
As the party pony's mane and tail began to straighten, Twilight held her close under her wing.
Canterlot General Hospital, Psychiatric Wing, Maximum Security Ward:
Despite the padded walls, the maniacal laughter traveled the length of the hallway. Nurse Riker turned to Doctor Mindset and said, "Can't we do anything about him?"
The unicorn doctor replied, "With the amount of tranquilizer we've given him, he shouldn't even be awake. If we give him any more, it'd kill him."
"He's upsetting everyone on this floor."
The doctor groaned. "I'll see what I can do."
The doctor opened the door to the maximum security cell. The surfaces were all padded, but an examination table had been added. The clown had been fitted with a straitjacket and a muzzle. His barrel and his hind legs were both strapped to the table. The surface had been tilted at a seventy degree angle, allowing him to recline while being almost upright.
The clown turned his head and said, "Doc, you gotta help me! I can't move my legs!"
Drily, the doctor replied, "Yes, you've proven to be a danger to staff. We must keep you restrained until we're sure you won't attack us."
"We have a chicken and egg problem here."
"After all you've done, do you really expect us to trust you?"
"I mean Boneless Number Two over there is going to have kittens. Have you ever tried to hatch a cat?"
The doctor rolled his eyes. "Princess Luna gave us some more information about you. I'd like to talk with you about how you came to be this way."
"Why worry about the past? Every time I try to remember I come up with something different. Face, it; yesterday's history and tomorrow's a mystery. Today is a gift, though. That's why they call it the present."
"I did not know you were a philosopher."
"Well, I have to add something to my schtick. After seeing the Dash, every day is a slow day."
The doctor instinctively recoiled at the maniacal laugh that followed. "Come now, Cheese Sandwich. We have to have a good idea of where you came from in order to get you where you are supposed to go."
"Hey! If we're going to dig into my past, at least let me choose the one that I like. I want the one where I met the bat on the street and hit a home run."
The doctor tried to keep a neutral expression. "We can't help you unless you tell us the truth."
Quietly, the clown said, "Doc, come here. There's something I have to get off my barrel."
The doctor rolled his eyes and moved next to the clown. "What is it?"
The clown whispered. Annoyed, the doctor leaned in so that he could hear. The clown yelled, "Your stethoscope! It's freezing!"
As the clown laughed maniacally, the doctor left in disgust. As the doctor slammed the cell door shut, Nurse Riker said, "You've only been in for less than half the session."
Levitating a clipboard with the chart from her, he replied, "There's no more progress that I can make today." Absently, he patted a pocket. "I thought I had a pen with me."
The nurse replied, "Here, use mine."
As the two returned to the office, the clown waved his tail. The pen it held was just the right size to undo his restraints.
The new shift was greeted with eerie silence. Curious, the duty nurse went to the nearest cell. It was empty. Concerned, she went to each in turn. They, too, were empty. The last one was not. Her scream would not be soon forgotten.
Canterlot, Nightfall:
Word of the hospital escape spread soon after dark. The Royal Guard was out in force, but so were the escapees. A typical scene played out in a secluded park as couple went on a romantic stroll by the lake. Four thugs dropped from the trees, landing in front of them with knives at the ready. Hastily, the couple retreated, only to have four more thugs drop from the trees behind them, menacing them with knives held in their mouths or with their magic.
One of the unicorn thugs asked, "What was it the boss told us to do?"
An earth pony thug in the other group said around his knife, "He said to party."
A third thug stepped toward the couple. "What do you say we have a little fun?" He yelped when he found his forehoof pinned to the ground.
"You have failed Equestria!" intoned the Arrow as he dropped in front of the couple.
"Get them!" yelled the leader. Knives flew at the Arrow, who managed to riposte with each shot in rapid succession.
A black figure dropped down behind the couple and deflected the knives with her bo staff. At the four thugs collapsed on her, she repelled them with a single word: "NO!!"
As the couple fled, Arrow and Canary hobbled the criminals. Arrow grumbled, "It looks like the escapees have teamed up with the local gangs."
Sweetie Borg's voice crackled over the commlink, "They're breaking all of the shop windows! There are so many of them!"
Canary replied, "Something tells me this is just the beginning."
Cloudsdale, Nightfall:
Scootaloo decided there was nothing quite like having a real family as she flew between her adoptive parents. A familiar voice crackled over her commlink, "Hey, squirt. We have a situation in Canterlot."
"Be there in half a shake."
Windy looked at her sternly. "Make sure you get something healthy to eat; you need to keep your strength up."
The filly replied, "I've got it under control."
Bow said sternly, "We expect you back by eight. It's a school night, after all."
"But Dad . . ." Scootaloo received a glare in return. "Fine. I promise I'll do what I can."
Her parents gave her a warm hug. Windy said, "But most of all, come home safely."
When the three broke their embrace, Scootaloo flew behind a cloud and cried, "SHAZAM!"
Alicorn Marevel appeared and then flew to Canterlot with all due haste.
Castle of Friendship, War Room:
Twilight Sparkle smiled grimly as she tracked the action on the projection of the Cutie Map. Zooming in, she saw a hot spot. She said, "There's a sniper hidden on Mane Street between Harvest and Vine. Marevel, draw them out. Dash, nab them."
"On it, Princess."
"You got it, Twi."
Turning to another area she said, "Sweetie Borg, the fire department is overwhelmed. Connect to the hydrant fifty meters in front of you and spray full blast over the Unification Building at a sixty-degree angle."
"Thar she blows!"
Her eyes opened wide. "Canary! Buck it!" A satisfying crunch came over the speakers.
"I'd say that was a two for one shot."
Arrow came over the commlink. "What's the next target?"
"Sewers. Jump!"
Twilight braced for a long night.
Ponyville, Town Center:
Manehattan could be described as the city that never sleeps. Ponyville, however, rose and slept with Celestia's sun. After dark, the streets were all but empty. Nopony was out to greet the pasty-faced aerostat with poison green hair and a maniacal leer.
Over an array of loudspeakers, a maniacal laugh boomed. "Batsy! Batsy! Come out and play!"
Curious residents peeked their heads out their windows. A voice cried out, "It's a crazy clown!"
"Run for your lives! We're doomed!"
"The horror! The horror!"
In any other locale in Equestria, this would have been an unprecedented disaster in the making. In Ponyville, it was just another Tuesday. In a well-choreographed dance, shutters slammed shut, windows closed, and lights turned off.
Silver Spoon’s mansion:
Two fillies lounged inside the fort they had built built from bedsheets and sofa cushions. They were having fun in the way only colts or fillies could manage.
Silver Spoon giggled, "And then Mother said I was acting like a foal. Can you believe that?"
Diamond Tiara nibbled her slice of artichoke heart and gorgonzola pizza. "So, what did you do?"
"I told her if she didn't like it, she should get out of my fort."
"The paired shared a laugh. Diamond Tiara couldn't remember the last time she was this happy, but she didn't care. She was finally having fun.
Their laughter abruptly stopped when the bass thump of an explosion shook down the fort. The friends looked at each other and said, "It must be Tuesday."
"Jinx!"
Silver Spoon said, "Let's see what it is this time."
The fillies went to the window. The glow they saw in the distance could only mean one thing.
Aghast, Diamond Tiara said, "Canterlot is burning."
"Then what was that big boom?" asked Silver Spoon.
When she heard the laugh, Diamond Tiara's blood ran cold. The clown's voice said, "Baaaatsy! Come out and play! You missed your party, Batsy! I know you're out there somewhere!"
Looking up, the two saw the aerostat decorated with the clown's face. To their horror, they saw something large drop from the gondola. Silver Spoon gasped, "That's a clown?"
Diamond Tiara threw herself over Silver Spoon. She winced as the ensuing explosion raked pieces of safety glass through her fur.
"Come out, come out, Batsy!" Another laugh filled the air. "It's just you and me. All your meta friends are at their own party in Canterlot."
After a brief pause, he said, "So, you want to play hide and seek? I'll count to 200 and then start taking away all your hiding places, one by one."
An ebullient voice came over the loudspeakers. "Come on, Cheese Sandwich. Don't you remember me?"
"Who are you? How could an earth pony get up here?"
"I flew, silly. I brought along someone you should remember. Say 'hi', Boneless."
A loud zipping sound game over the speakers. The clown growled, "Say 'hello' to my little friend."
*CRASH*
"You."
*SMASH*
"Imposter!"
*WHACK*
"Stay still, you pink monster!"
*CRUNCH*
"Cheese! We're friends!"
*SMACK*
"Leggo, you pink maniac!"
"Can't you see I'm a fellow party pony, Cheese Sandwich?"
"I"
*THUD*
"am"
*SNAP*
"the"
*CRACKLE*
"Joker!"
*POP*
"Tell me you meant to hit the gondola release," said the not-so-bubbly voice.
Manesworth led Silver Spoon away from the window as the magic-powered Ponyville-rated safety shutters slid shut. He said, "Let's get you to safety while the authorities handle this."
Looking around, Silver Spoon asked, "Where's Diamond Tiara?"
Manesworth replied, "She was galloping through the kitchen."
Silver Spoon needed no further prompting. She shot through the back door a split-second before it was shut and sealed.
Heedless of the mayhem, she galloped at full speed along a familiar path. At stately Rich Manor, she flew past Randolph at the front door and slammed into the pink filly who was staring at the family portrait above the mantle.
As Randolph shut the door behind her. Silver Spoon flailed wildly at her friend. Diamond Tiara offered no resistance. The gray filly screamed, "Why?! What are you!? Friend?! Not friend?! Bully? Coward?! Traitor?! Why?!"
Randolph cleared his throat. "Little Miss, you must decide who you really are."
"You're right," replied Diamond Tiara. With unexpected suddenness, Silver Spoon found herself pinned to the floor. Diamond Tiara continued. "I am, and always will be, your friend. I thought I'd lost everything, Silver Spoon. That damned clown just reminded me how much I have to live for."
"What are you talking about?"
"If I do nothing, I lose everyone in Ponyville. I lose you. If I do something, the princess will take me away from you forever." Diamond Tiara nuzzled her friend. "I guess this was never about finding happiness."
Diamond Tiara released her friend. Silver Spoon asked, "What do you mean?"
The pink filly pressed bricks on the fireplace in sequence, and a panel beside the fireplace swung open, revealing an elevator car. Stepping inside, Diamond Tiara said, "I don't care what anyone says. I don't care what anyone does. I will do what I have to do to keep Ponyville safe. I'll do what I have to do to keep you safe."
"Wait!" called Silver Spoon as she crowded in next to her friend.
Diamond Tiara said, "Please, Silver Spoon. Stay out of this; it's the only way you'll be safe."
Silver Spoon replied. "No. You're my friend. Where you go, I'll follow."
When the car stopped, the door opened. Black shapes flew past, startling Silver Spoon. "B . . . bats?" she stuttered.
Strategic lighting revealed that the fillies were in a cavern inhabited by bats. Neatly arranged was equipment far beyond the sophistication one would expect in the Royal Canterlot Crime Laboratory. A brown earth pony stallion was busily working on a mechanical device. Vehicles for air, land, and sea sat, ready to go at a moment's notice, each sporting bat wings. The centerpiece, however, was a rack with a costume set next to a ponyquin with a cape and cowl.
"What is all this?" asked Silver Spoon.
The pink filly walked to the ponyquin. "This is what I've been trying to protect you from." She began to don the costume. Turning to the earth pony, she said, "Doctor, can you keep her safe?"
Doctor replied, "It'll take more than a mad clown to get to us."
"I don't understand," said Silver Spoon. "Can't you stay here with me?"
"This is what I do. This is who I am."
"What is that?"
The pink filly pulled down the cowl, covering her mane and eyes. With a flourish of the cape, she turned to face her friend. In a voice feared by the underworld, she said, "I'm Batmare!"