The morning came, and Wild Card knew that if he wanted to get to the bottom of this, he needed to get to Canterlot as soon as he could. Unfortunately, this was bittersweet for him… He was one of the front-liners during the Battle of Canterlot and he had lots of tainted memories of the place. So many innocent ponies getting hurt, so many lives forever altered because of his actions… He shook off the feelings, closing his eyes. It was no time for fuzzy memories and sob stories. It was time for action.
He quickly made his way to Ponyville Station as soon as they were open, purchasing a ticket and getting onto the next train to Canterlot. The ride was long, and being alone with his thoughts wasn’t good for him. He shivered as he felt a cool breeze crawl up his spine, the chill of guilt wracking his brain. He knew he couldn’t undo what he did, but he could at least try to atone for it as much as possible. All the intel he gathered, all the lives he lead and all the reputations he destroyed… It was certainly a big pile.
Eventually, he arrived in Canterlot Station, the first time he’d been there since the Battle. He shivered again, then made his way into town. Walking towards the nearest cafe, he sat down, ordered a black coffee, then waited, planning and plotting his course.
“Lessee here… If I were a guard, where would I live…? Guards don’t get paid an awful lot of bits, but ROYAL Guards probably get paid a good amount… Upper-middle class, probably. But with that much love? I should look more for middle class. Upper class types are awfully snooty, guards or not. That narrows me down to a few neighborhoods, which is still a lot.”
He was sure that White would live close to the palace, as the commute to the palace would be a pain to do every shift, so that narrowed down his search a little more. Alas, it was still a lot to search on hoof, especially by himself. But he was used to that kind of thing.
“His cutie mark was also a quill and parchment. That could mean a lot, but it likely has to do with record keeping, or writing. And considering he’s a royal guard? Writing seems the most likely. Writing is a pretty common hobby.” He sipped his coffee delicately, then nearly choked on it. He forgot to add sugar.
Using his magic, he lifted a few sugar cubes into his coffee and stirred it idly, staring into the dark beverage.
“I can’t say he’d live near a stationary store, though. It’s possible he uses a typewriter or maybe one of those new computer devices. Canterlot has a lot more tech than Ponyville does.” he sipped his coffee again, looking over a city map that he picked up from the station.
“Let’s start with… this neighborhood here, and we’ll see what comes up.”
The “search” entailed a number of things. Eavesdropping on conversations, using disguises to get into restricted areas and using his other forms to blend in with the local fauna so he could investigate from higher, or sometimes lower, angles. He spent several hours, using his changeling senses to see if he could locate anything interesting or noteworthy, but to no avail. Night soon fell, and ponies started to go to their houses and fall asleep. Unfortunately, there was not a single clue, trail or lead he had found all day, and even worse, he forgot to eat. Sneaking some love from a passerby wasn’t a viable option, and there wasn’t very many stores around that were open at this hour. If anything, it’d just be bars and pubs. But… bar food was better than no food…
Wild Card wasn’t very close to any good pubs though, according to his map. He was close to the outskirts of the city, and he hadn’t seen a neon sign, a glowing doorway, or anything similar in the past 2 hours.
He decided to just start walking and see where it took him. He was certain he’d see a bar or pub eventually. And eventually, he did. It wasn’t a long walk, probably about 20 minutes. However, he quickly realized why he had missed it so easily. It didn’t look like a bar at all. It looked more like a big warehouse, or hot air balloon hangar. He figured it was likely an aesthetic choice and thought nothing of it, approaching the door to the bar; outside of which stood a tough looking stallion wearing sunglasses.
Looking up at the sign, he blinked at the name of the club: Princess’ Playhouse. Twisting his mouth into a half frown, he huffed softly, muttering under his breath. “Must be one of those… stallion-oriented clubs. Or perhaps Equestria’s worst secret society.”
He went to go inside, but the stallion stopped him.
“Name?”
“Oh great, one of those ‘members only’ clubs… Just my luck.” he thought with a small frown.
“Wild Card.”
“ID?”
He blinked in surprise. Of course he had his ID on him, that wasn’t the problem. He was just surprised that he was being asked for it. He was obviously a grown stallion, and he certainly wasn’t a member. Regardless, he produced his ID card and showed it to the bouncer. He nodded, then looked straight ahead.
“Go ahead.”
Once again, he was a little stunned. But he decided to go in regardless. He just about stepped inside when the bouncer stopped him again.
“Make sure to check in to the front desk for access to the club.”
“Er… alright.”
The stallion let him through, and Wild Card walked in. The door opened into a hallway, the walls, ceiling and floors made to look like red velvet. There was a window with a speaker on it, and a slot under it to the left, and 2 bathroom doors to the right, one for stallions, one for mares. Straight ahead was a pair of bouncers, standing in front of a red velvet rope hung between two stainless steel poles. He approached the front desk as requested, noticing the glass was fogged, making him unable to see through it to see the pony on the other side. He could only see a vague silhouette.
“You Wild Card?” The voice sounded feminine, but was still too hard to tell. The speaker wasn’t very good. Or perhaps it was distorting the voice on purpose.
“Er… yes?”
A paper was pushed through the slot, followed by a quill pen.
“Just sign on the dotted line to get access.”
Wild Card was incredibly confused. This bar made you sign a paper to get access to it? He looked at the paper curiously, reading the print. It was mostly legal jargon, stuff like “we’re not responsible for this” and “you’re legally obligated that”. Eventually he grew tired of reading it and just scribbled his signature hastily onto the paper. The paper was taken back, as well as the pen, and then something else was pushed through. Something… completely unexpected.
“You can change in the bathrooms behind you, enjoy your experience at Princess’ Playhouse.” The voice crackled through the speaker, before a loud KSHT! turned it off.
Wild Card frowned, looking up at the speaker again, then down at the object shoved through the slot. Lifting it up with his magic, he turned and went into the stallion’s bathroom, went into a stall, then inspected the object to confirm his suspicions. The plastic crinkled as he pulled it apart, and he felt his cheeks becoming scarlet as he looked it over. It was a diaper. A big one, at that. Not baby-sized. Adult sized. And it was awfully thick too. He quickly exited the bathroom, going back to the front desk.
“Er… excuse me… uh… Miss?”
The speaker crackled, indicating it was turned on again. “Yes, what is it?”
“What is the diaper for? And… furthermore, why is it so… uh… large?”
“Oh. Right. You’re new here.” There was a sigh. “All patrons of Princess’ Playhouse are required to wear a diaper to get access to the bar. You read the waiver, didn’t you?”
Wild Card opened his mouth to protest, but paused, his words catching in his throat. He had already signed it.
“Er… n-no.”
“Well, you’re also legally obligated to not speak about Princess’ Playhouse outside of Princess’ Playhouse. That was also in the waiver you signed without reading.”
“...I see. So… the bouncers won’t let me past unless I’m wearing a diaper.”
“That’s right. Have a good night, now.” KSHHT!
He frowned, looking at the diaper curiously. There was absolutely no way he was wearing this thing, even for all the food in Equestria. He was hungry, but he wasn’t delirious. He was about to turn around and head out, maybe find another bar that didn’t require the patrons to sign a document, but that’s when he felt it. Or rather, tasted it.
His pupils dilated, he sniffed at the air. That flavor… That strange… yet so alluring flavor. It was here. Somewhere. Somewhere past that velvet rope.
“Huh… I never figured him for the diaper type…” Wild muttered, looking over his shoulder at the velvet rope. He turned and went back into the bathroom, then into the stall. He looked over the diaper again, frowning. “Hm… There must be some loophole here…”
That’s when he had an idea. It wasn’t a very good idea, but it was the only thing he could think of. He certainly never tried anything like this before, but it was worth a shot. He sighed, took a deep breath, held it, and then concentrated as hard as he could on his transformative magic. With a FWOOSH!, he turned into… himself. But now, diapered. All illusory. He looked at the false diaper on his backside, smiling like a foal in a candy store.
“Awesome.”
He binned the real diaper, walking out into the hallway, then walked to the velvet rope. The bouncers didn’t bat an eye, removing the rope from his path and nodding at him.
“Enjoy the show, sir.”
“I will, thank you~”
He went in, and looked around. The place was packed, to his surprise. Ponies from all over, all wearing diapers, were in the bar; chatting, drinking, dancing. Perhaps this wasn’t as niche a concept as he had suspected. And what was the harm? They seemed to be enjoying themselves. Unfortunately, however, he couldn’t see his target anywhere.
“I could’ve sworn I-”
“HELLOOOOOOO EVERYPONY!!!” A loud, feminine voice bellowed into the bar, making all heads turn in the direction of the sound, including Wild Card. The voice was coming from the biggest mare he had ever laid eyes on. And that wasn’t even a euphemism or a pun of some kind… She was HUGE. Like... really huge. It was hard to describe, he was just so stunned.
The snowy white mare had to be at least the size of a carriage. Maybe bigger? It was hard to tell at this distance. And it wasn’t just pure height either. Wild Card didn’t want to say it, or even think it, but… she was fat. Incredibly so. She looked like a big, bouncing balloon. She was very bottom-heavy, and she was wearing a form-fitting pink dress, which did nothing to hide the gigantic baby pink diaper covered in frills and lace she wore on her backside. He was unclear how much of her backside was diaper and how much of it was fat.
What’s more was that she was able to stand on her hind legs without any sort of assistance, and seemed to prefer that. She was like nothing that Wild Card had ever seen. It was as if a marshmallow peep had come to life and put on a diaper and a dress. Her mane was the shade of sky and bluebells, and her eyes were a similar shade. She kind of reminded him of a…
...Wait, that can’t be right.
He fell into a bit of a trance, staring at her with a confused look as all the voices, the music… all of it became one big blur.
The whites of his eyes turned baby blue, as he concentrated his sight on the huge mare. The pink cloud emitting from her was too thick to see through, too hazy to make out details in any facet. He blinked, his eyes returning to normal as he quickly scanned her body.
“Blue mane…” he muttered softly, under his breath, “white coat… diaper… pink dress… love cloud that I can’t see through…”
The puzzle pieces slowly began to click in his brain, but the puzzle wasn’t making any sense at all. How could that mild-mannered stallion possibly turn into that? Even with transformative magic or potions, that’s… that’s still improbable! He’s a pegasus, not a unicorn… And furthermore, he’s a he! This is quite clearly a mare! Right?!
“-eems awful entranced, doesn’t he? What a cutie! What’s your name, sweetheart?”
He shook his head in surprise, realizing he was being spoken to. He looked up and saw that the gigantic mare was looking right at him, with a big smile on her face. A big, knowing smile on her face.
“M-Me?!” Wild Card said in surprise, putting his hoof to his chest.
“Yes, you!” The mare said, smiling even bigger.
He could feel his cheeks immediately flushing to become scarlet again, and he scrambled over his words. “I.. er.. My name is… W-Wild Card. W-Why? Who’s asking?”
The mare feigned shock, looking over the other patrons with a fake gasp of surprise. “He’s asking who I am! He must be a new baby for our little playhouse!”
“Baby?!” Wild Card said, eyes widening, before looking over his shoulder at the illusory padding on his backside. He looked back and let out a frightened squeak when he saw that the mare had came right over to him, her face a mere foot away from his own.
“You’re adorable, you know that?” She said with a grin. “Well, since you’re new, I’ll introduce myself! My name is Princess~ And you’re in my playhouse~”
“Oh… I… uhm… It’s lovely to meet you… Princess.”
“I know~” she cooed, smirking at him. “It’s always lovely to meet someone like me.”
“Er… someone… like you?” he repeated, obviously confused at the notion.
“Wow, you must be incredibly new~” she teased, and with one quick motion she scooped him up into her forelegs, making Wild Card squirm uncomfortably before she cradled him on his back. “Yes, someone like me~ A big, fat baby! And you’re a little, cutie baby!”
“I… um… I don’t need to be held, miss-”
“A ta tah, it’s Princess, honey. Not miss, not missus. Princess. And yes you do~ You’re a cute little baby and you need lots of love and attention, don’t you?”
“...No?”
She grinned. “Was that a question?”
“Uh… no?”
“Was that a question?”
Wild Card was feeling an extreme sense of deja vu here, and he wasn’t very comfortable being so close to a mare like this. It was nothing against her specifically, he just didn’t like being close to any pony, big or small.
“I… um…I-I’m not a baby.”
“Then what’s this?” Princess reached over with her hoof, and gently patted at his backside, but paused and raised her eyebrow when she didn’t hear the telltale crinkle of a plastic diaper. She went to pat again, but Wild quickly leapt from her forelegs and landed on the floor before quickly dashing out the front door and into the street, making sure to drop the illusory diaper as soon as he was out of sight.
Panting heavily, he ducked into a back alley to make sure that he wasn’t being followed, then sat down, letting his heart calm down.
“That… was… WAY too close,” he panted, putting his hoof against his chest. “And this mystery just got a lot more confusing.”
Unfortunately, he still needed to eat, and in his haste to escape, didn’t grab anything nor fed on any nearby pony on his way out. He felt his stomach grumble under him, making him frown and gently rub at his underside to soothe the hunger pangs. He transformed into a bird, flying into the skies to get to the busier parts of Canterlot as fast as he could, landing in an alley and turning back to normal as soon as he could before quickly entering a bar, getting situated at the front counter, and letting out a heavy sigh.
The bartender mare came over, dressed in a blouse and vest, giving him a patient smile.
“What can I get you, mister?”
“Give me your biggest, strongest drink. And then double it.”
The mare let out a low whistle, her smile turning into a concerned frown. “Rough night huh? Not a lot of ponies come in asking for a Double Zap Apple Cocktail…”
Wild planted his muzzle against the bar with a groan, nodding. “Very rough night… I haven’t eaten in hours.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Strider.”
Wild Card’s ears perked up and he looked up at her in surprise, scowling immediately after.
“What’d you just call me…?”
The mare gave him a mysterious smile, then reached up and gently tapped at a crystalline brooch on her neck with her hoof before beginning to work on his cocktail.
“You’re the same shapeshifter who disguised themselves as my old boss at the law office. It took some digging, and a private investigator, but I found out who you were.”
Wild’s cheeks became scarlet, leaning in and whispering to her. “And you’re… not mad at me?”
“Nah, my old boss was as enjoyable to be around as getting a twig lodged in your feathers…” she said with a snicker, her wings batting at the air a little bit for emphasis before folding at her sides again.
“Wait, how’d you know-”
“The amulet is magical, silly. It’s one of those “true-seeing” spells, makes your magic completely pointless. I can see right through you. And it was pretty simple to deduce that you’re the runaway changeling from the hive. You’re the only one who escaped, up until Thorax.” She slid the drink over to him, the rainbow swirls of the cocktail waving up and down like a flag, sparkles glimmering from the ingredients of the drink and making it incredibly eye-catching.
“Please, my name is Wild Card, miss… I… I’m trying to leave that life behind me.”
“I know. That’s why I’m not mad,” she began to wipe down a dirty glass with a cloth, giving him another patient smile, “Besides, you actually did me a favor, getting me fired from that job. Turns out our whole office went bankrupt a week later, so you saved me from a lot of hassle. That wasn’t your doing too, was it?” she teased, giving him a grin.
“No, goodness no! And believe me, getting you fired was NOT part of the original plan… That was an accident.” Wild sighed, rubbing at his temple with a hoof before taking a long sip of his drink.
“So what’s the trouble anyway? You’re one of those pre-evolution changelings, right? You seem pretty miserable though.”
He went over the night in his head for a few moments, then sighed. “I was in Ponyville, and I found something unusual about a royal guard who was visiting. He, unlike any other pony I’ve seen so far, expels more love than what was thought to be possible. When I use my changeling sense, I see the love ponies expel like a cloud of pink haze. But.. his cloud was so saturated, it was impossible to see through it!”
The mare gave him a smile. “That IS unusual, but that doesn’t explain what you’re doing all the way out here, in a bar in the middle of the night.”
“Well, I came here, to Canterlot, to find that guard and investigate, purely out of curiosity. I looked around as much as I could, but he was nowhere to be found! Eventually, I stumbled into this… pub. They made me sign a legal waiver, so I can’t tell you about it.”
“You can’t tell me anything at all?”
“Nope… The last thing I want is legal troubles.” He took another sip, shivering from the static buzzing through his throat as the Zap Apple cocktail travelled through him. “Geez, that really wakes your mouth up, huh?”
“Yep. They’re pretty expensive though. You got enough bits?”
“Yeah, money isn’t an issue… Anyway, what I CAN tell you is that he was there, in the bar.”
“That’s good!”
“Ohhh no. No it wasn’t. He, was...well… he was a she. But… wasn’t.”
The mare frowned, furrowing her brow.
“I’m… not sure I follow.”
“It was one of those things where you had to be there. I don’t know if I’ve said too much or not.”
“Well, hey, you know you’re on the right track, right? He’s… er… She?... They… are in Canterlot, that much we know. And you know that they frequent a bar that… you can’t talk about outside the bar.”
“Yeah, I guess. But I don’t know what I want to do with this information. It’s… so crazy and unusual! It’s insane, is what it is! I should just turn around and go home, but… I’m already so deep, I want to get to the end of this mystery.”
The mare smiled and pat at his shoulder, giggling. “I think you should do it. You’ve came this far, right? And I can help you make sense of it. I know LOTS of ponies in Canterlot, and I hear a LOT of drunk conversations. I’m sure something is gonna slip out sometime.”
“You’d help me? After what I did?”
She waved her hoof and rolled her eyes. “Oh forget the past, Strider. It’s over, water under the bridge and so forth. You helped me get out of a jam, let me help you~”
Wild smiled for the first time that night, rubbing at the back of his head. “Thanks miss… um…”
“Call me Case Load.”
“Alright, thanks Case.”
“Don’t mention it. Anything else you need before you go?”
“No, I think I’m-” Wild was interrupted by his stomach growling, louder than it was before, making his face become red and Case to giggle behind her hoof.
“Hungry?” she finished with a big smile, “You can feed from me, Wild. On the house.”
Wild gave her a sheepish smile, then closed his eyes and inhaled, feeding from the love given off of Case, taking just enough to get his fill. Case gave a little eye roll, going back to what she was doing while he fed, then gave him a smile when he was finished.
“All better?”
“Yes, um.. Thank you again.”
Wild Card finished his drink, paid for it, then went out and found a shrouded back alley to sleep in for the night. Sleeping in uncomfortable or unusual places was nothing out of the ordinary for him, so he fell asleep quickly, thinking about his plan of attack in his sleep.