//------------------------------//
// Luna's Lament 
// Story: The Twilight Years 
// by Kendrick 
//------------------------------//


Luna paced the length of the library, her tail switching back and forth as she turned.  “Don't get me wrong, I don't regret my decision,” she said for the fourth time.  “This is a very important undertaking.  Just the access I have to the archives alone is unbelievable!  I never knew there were so many books that nopony has seen in decades.  I'm learning so much, so many things I never even imagined.  It's just...” She trailed off slowly, her voice becoming sorrowful at the end.
“You don't have anypony to share it all with,” Twilight finished for her.  “I understand.  I've been in your place, remember?”  Twilight felt deeply for her former protege.  She remembered well what it felt like to be so alone.  Luna had the hardest lot of the sisters on the throne.  Ruling the night was a lonely job.  Everypony slept through the night except for a few of the watch.  The fact that her brother was the captain of that watch made it that much harder for her, Twilight knew.
“Exactly,” Luna sighed.  “I knew I would miss my friends, I just never thought it would be this,” she trailed off again, looking at the floor.
“Hard,” Twilight finished for her.  “I know, my faithful student.” Twilight stopped short, hoof to her mouth.  She tried so hard not to slip, but it happened on occasion.  “I sat on the Lunar throne for over two-hundered years.  It is a lonely lot, for anypony, but it is necessary.  There is no other way to learn what you need to, to build your strength before you take over for your sister.”
“I know.  I just wish I had somepony else I could talk to.  Shining Armor is right there!  Surely we could trust him.  He is the Captain of the Guard after all?”  The pleading was clear in Luna's voice.  Twilight was torn.  She did remember well the anguish Luna felt.  It wasn't just a period of training, but a time of separation from the life she had lived before.  She had been lucky that her family had been far from the capital.  It hadn't been Canterlot then, before the disaster of Nightmare Moon, but the situation was the same.  While she was no longer the ruler of Equestria, both of the Princesses looked to her for guidance in many things.  Having been on the throne for so long, there was nopony recorded even in the secret archives that had ruled for even a fraction as long as she had.  Celestia hadn't even served her full term as Luna before she disappeared.
Twilight wondered, not for the first time, what she had been doing for the thousand years she had gone missing.  Even now she wouldn't speak of it.  How had she managed without the name of Luna to cover her agelessness?  She shook her head.  Now wasn't the time for such musings.  Her former student needed her attention, and understanding, and that was paramount this night.
“I will think about it.  You realize how dire the consequences would be if the truth got out don't you?”  she asked, fully aware that Luna did.  
“Yes,” Luna sighed.  She sat down heavily on the floor.  The weight of her responsibilities almost visible on her shoulders.  “It's not just that.  It's her.  She does well enough most of the time, but,” she stopped with an exasperated look on her face.
“She's not me,” Twilight finished for her yet again.  “You must remember how much longer I had to learn to deal with everypony than she has.  She may be over a thousand years old, but most of that was spent in exile.  She was afraid in a way you aren't, Twil..Luna.  Please remember that and be kind to her.”  As much as she wanted to be at times, Twilight couldn't be angry with her former sister.  The terror she had faced was very real, and very overwhelming.  As much as Luna was responsible for, Celestia was responsible for so much more.
“How did you do it all for so long?” Luna asked.
“I did it because it had to be done.  I love everypony, just as you do.  That is what made it bearable.”
Luna stood and walked slowly across the room to nuzzle her former self.  The embrace was warm and without reservation.
“I hope I can be half the Princess you were,” she stated, eyes glistening.
“You will be even greater,” Twilight answered without reservation.  “I will do some research.  That is what Twilight Sparkle is known for after all,” she teased, “I seem to recall a spell by Stonehoof the Wise that may help.  It made anypony who swore an oath under it bound by their word.  If I can find it we may be able to let our secret out a little.”
The look of hope in Luna's eyes, made her heart swell and gave her pause at the same time.
“I'm hesitant about this spell, though.  It was hidden because there were doubts about if it was ethical or not.”
“Oh I understand completely!” Luna said cheerfully, “It wouldn't do to take anypony's free will away.  But if there is a way we can use it fairly, with consent,” she said hopefully.
“Exactly,” Twilight finished.
“Thank you so much for listening to me.  I'm so used to having Spike around to talk to,” she stopped with a wry look on her face.  “How is everypony else?” she asked hesitantly.
“Oh everypony is doing just fine.  Rarity is excited about a showing in Canterlot, Applejack is in the heart of applebuck season, so I haven't seen much of her, Fluttershy is wrapped up in her pre-winter preparations.  Rainbow has been training hard for this fall's Flyer competition, and Pinkie Pie is, well... Pinkie Pie.”
“Oh.  That's good,” Luna replied somberly.
The pained look on her face told Twilight exactly what was wrong.
“They ask me if everything is all right, you know.  As well as you prepared me, I'm still not you.  There's no way they could know that, but they know something's off.  Your friends miss you even if they don't know it.”
“Oh,” Luna whispered.  Equal parts relief and embarrassment were clear on her face.  “I don't want to sound like I regret this,” she began defiantly for the fifth time.
“I understand,” Twilight repeated patiently, “I really do.”
“Thank you so much.  I really must be going.  Celestia isn't always good about being punctual for raising the sun these days.”  Her face twisted in a look of annoyance Twilight knew all too well, “I've had to do both a few times already.”
“Take care, Luna.  I am here whenever you need me.  You may not be my student any longer, but you are still very dear to me.”
The two embraced again before Luna left silently.  Once she was gone Twilight stared at the closed door behind her.  She didn't let on while her former charge was there but she was stunned.  The power she must have had before even assuming the Lunar Throne.  It had been over a century before she had built enough power to even attempt raising the sun after setting the moon.  The throne only gave her enough power to raise either the sun or the moon, anything more relied upon the unicorn's own natural ability.  Now, more than ever, she was sure that Equestria was going to be in good hooves.
Smiling to herself she began to plan a trip to the Canterlot archives.  While it went against everything she had been taught, and a little of her gut instinct, Twilight couldn't help but to see what she could do to help.  Chucking to herself she had to wonder if becoming Twilight was having an effect on her.  She was actually looking forward to digging through the archives for research!