//------------------------------// // Chapter, the first // Story: Pinkie P.I.E. // by AntiBronyBenSwolo //------------------------------// Pinkie Pie was working her normal 9-5 shift at the Sugar Cube Corner. Cupcakes were in the oven baking for Pinkies friends. Milkshakes were being serves to the customers who ordered some. Cakes were being made for the ponies who ordered them in advance. The Cake Twins were asleep in their crib. Pinkie Pie stared down at the infants and told herself that life was going just right for her. Even when she had to go on some crazy adventure to stop some crazy evil villain, it turned out alright, because somehow, the bad guy would have been beaten in the end. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie heard a rattling in the kitchen. The Cakes were out shopping for supplies, and Gummy was with Fluttershy for the day. Pinkie was basically the only one working at the lone cake shop. "Hello?" Pinkie Pie asked as she peered into the kitchen with the door a quarter of the way open. She saw nothing. She opened it further and saw some of the messy bowls and kitchen utensils were everywhere, as well as a thicc fog of flour messing up the place. "Whoever's here, I'm just here to tell you that you're not supposed to be. And whatever you're doing, now I'm gonna have to clean it all up." Pinkie Pie explained as she coughed out the flour-ey fog. She examined the mess further and further. Pinkie expected this to be the work of Discord, but then she remembered that if it really were Discord, then the bowls and utensils would have been alive, singing, dancing, anything out of the ordinary to be honest. Pinkie then saw a silhouette of what appeared to be a human through the thicc flour fog. Surprised at what she was seeing, Pinkie fanned the fog away and saw something even Pinkie Pie could not believe she was looking at. The human appeared to be an elder with balding silver hair, glasses on his face and was wearing a white shirt, now covered in cake flour, and some standard pants for his species. The human appeared to be wielding a gun but did not feel the need to use it. Pinkie examined the human closer, as the human stared back at the human, giving them both a good minute of silence to find out what is going on. "I'M HERE TO TOUCH YOUR TOILETS!!!" The human yelled, causing Pinkie to scream out in panic, fall over on the messy floor, and pass out. As Pinkie fainted, the strange human yelled an annoying yell, as he passed Pinkie Pie and apparently made his exit. Pinkie Pie woke up in the Castle of Friendship, where she was rested on a sofa. She looked around and found a bath towel wrapped around her body, as well as a bandage on her head. "That's quite a bump you got there, Pinkie." Twilight said as she was helping Pinkie Pie with the pain of her head hitting the ground so hard, mainly by patting Pinkie's head with a wet cloth. "OhmygoodnessTwilightyou'renotgonnabelievewhatIjustsaw..." Pinkie Pie stammered so fast, everything she said became one whole word. "Woah, calm down Pinkie. What's your major malfunction?" Twilight asked as Pinkie calmed down. Enough to tell Twilight what she saw. "OK, so I saw this really old human, and..." "A Human? In Equestria? What in the world do you mean by that?" Twilight asked, rudely interrupting Pinkie. Pinkie sarcastically coughed, regaining Twilight's attention. "Anyway, this human was here for my...toilet for some reason." Pinkie explained. Twilight was instantly confused, just as Pinkie was, now that she thought of it. As they pondered what in the world Pinkie just witnessed, a knock was heard on the door on the Castle. And just like clockwork, Spike opened the door for whoever it was. "Can I help you?" Spike asked the visitors. The visitors were also human, though one was wearing a very dirty hoodie, as if he went mountain climbing in the sewers, and the other one looked as though he was wearing a tuxedo of sorts. "Yes. We heard reports of a paranormal entity, and we would like to speak to the eyewitness." The human wearing the dirty hoody said. Spike examined the two men, and let them in like a complete and total idiot. "Pinkie. There's someone here to see you." Spike hollered from downstairs, as the two men walked up the stairs to speak with Pinkie. Pinkie got a glimpse of the humans and went into complete shock. "More humans?" Pinkie asked as the two men sat down on a nearby couch. "My name is Johnny Ghost, and this is my partner Johnny Toast, and we're here to ask you a few questions." The man with the dirty hoodie explained. "Okay then. Ask away." Twilight said, as Pinkie laid down on the couch, psychiatrist style. "Did you see anything out of the ordinary." Johnny Ghost asked as Johnny Toast pulled out a notepad and pen. "Well, I saw another human. He wore a white shirt, had balding white hair, and wanted...my...toilet? Next thing I knew, I passed out." Pinkie Pie explained. "Sir, it looks like we might have found the Toilet Toucher again." Johnny Toast said to Ghost, who was stroking his chin. "Indeed we have Johnny. Indeed we have." Johnny Ghost replied as he turned to Pinkie. "Might we ask your name, Ma'me? Just so we have an eyewitness account?" Johnny Ghost explained. "Oh. My name's Pinkie Pie." Pinkie explained, causing the two men to stare at each other intensely. "Sir?" Johnny Toast asked as Johnny Ghost stared back. "Screw it! You're hired! Come with us!" Johnny Ghost, as he headed outside of the palace with Johnny Toast and Pinkie Pie following close behind. "Wait, why am I hired again?" Pinkie asked both Johnnys, as the three of them stopped at a large grey van. On the van was printed "Paranormal Investigators Extraordinaire" as well as the symbol for Pi for a logo. Pinkie, after putting two and two together, started laughing on the ground. "This is simply perfect." Pinkie commented, still laughing. "Exactly." Johnny Ghost replied, laughing along with Pinkie. Pinkie got into the back of the van, and the group of investigators rode off towards their next destination.