"It doesn't have to be like this." The words were carried with a chilling breeze with the sweeping wind as the distant sounds of battle came from far down below on all sides. And while Nightmare Moon’s ears heard concern, her mind told her this was all just an attempt to lower her guard.
The concern in the Princess' voice was a lie. She was being misled. A move to simply draw her into a sense of lowering her guard and the second she let her guard down… Celestia would strike her down.
It’s what Luna would do if their situations were switched and what she’d often done in many different scenarios.
“We don’t need to keep fighting Luna. Please, let me help you!” The voice begged with all the manner and control only crafted through years of experience, but with every word Nightmare Moon could tell there was sincere pain.
That pain however was nothing compared to her turmoil or, what their pain would be if she showed a hint of weakness now after coming this far.
There was silence, interrupted by thunder. Neither moved, they just blinked, listened to the battle in the distance on the other side of the bridge, and breathed steady, careful breaths. As neither knew if this would really be the other’s last.
“Luna--”
A silver shod hoof stomped into the cracked ground as the air was filled with the static crackle and popping sounds of her magic. "Do not, call me that name" the alicorn snorted and her eyes narrowed as her pupils contracted into slits of anger. As her anger rose her wings fluffed out just a little, and she waited in silence with a leering a serrated snarl. Daring the princess to challenge her title with that name again.
That name was an association to weakness, weakness she had cast aside and as Nightmare Moon she was no weakling. She was a goddess. A goddess that would rule this nation and this world like the sovereigns their kind were made out to be.
In the distance, off to the east, lightning struck and thunder boomed over the damaged watchtower they stood on. The light from the lightning illuminated the area around them, scaring away the dark for a brief moment as several spells on the other side of the chasm (opposite to the castle) were being fired and Celestia's soldiers drove fleeing enemies out into the forest, chasing them down.
The air was thick with tension as Celestia said nothing with a slightly gape mouth and a stunned posture. That tension washed away the second a droplet hit the ground between them.
And just like that, it began to rain. With that chilling rain the mood shifted and with a slowly calming posture the Princess said nothing more, accepting her defeat as her lips pressed together into a firm line that tugged down into a sad, disappointed frown.
For her part, the dark alicorn took a great amount of satisfaction out of this. A wicked grin sprung to life that was inspired from seeing a small, insignificant victory but a victory nonetheless. A small victory that made a small part of the Nightmare ask herself one important question: Why can’t you let me win, just once?
It was a question that would never be answered, because it was a question she never asked.
“You really won’t give up on this silly dream of yours...will you?” Celestia asked after a unknown amount of time had passed.
“Silly?” Nightmare repeated the word with bitter calm, seconds after processing the words just spat at her.
The princess made no reply or attempt to take back what she’d said.
The pitter-patter of rain hitting cold stone was the only sound that followed.
For all her talk, all her taunts, Nightmare Moon knew underestimating the princess would be her undoing. Luna knew her sister, she knew what she was attempting. She was weighing her options. Deciding what to do. Trying to draw them out and if their emotions got the better, they would slip up. One slip up, one opportunity to get the upper hoof and Celestia would win. All of this would be for nothing once the princess got a hold of the Element of Magic. And then only the worst could only await them and that was the very reason she’d scattered the Elements in the first place when she’d found they would not listen or obey her.
If she won out here, morale would be lost. Defeat the queen and the game was over. It was simple to say...more difficult to accomplish.
Even more difficult to achieve when the princess had found three of the six missing Elements. A feat that not only surprised, impressed, and infuriated the Nightmare, but also made her ask the question of how her rival had found them so quickly.
When they'd first fought that fateful first day, she had gone prepared. She had planned to banish her sister, winning easily without having any damage done to her new castle. Sadly, it hadn't worked because Magic would not work for them.
So she'd done the next best thing before they could be used against her, she'd scattered them. Not in just Equestria, but she'd scattered them all over the world. It should have taken Celestia longer than just a few a days to find even half of the elements again, just as it had taken her weeks to find and cast her traps around them-- it should have taken her sister just as long.
So why didn't it? It was a question that infuriated them as it had no easy answer. And was just another way to point out that even in times where she was the one with the most disadvantages, her sister always managed to find some way out of a dark situation.
Thunder boomed and the rain drizzled on.
‘You really won’t give up on this silly dream of yours will you?’ The words echoed in her mind, replaying like a broken record as she analyzed the hidden message. There was a warmth to that pitch and tone, a warmth she could not help but hate. In between the lines, hidden behind every syllable, there was sarcasm, condescension, disdain, disrespect.
She could see it even now. Even now as they stared down at each other, Nightmare Moon could only see the sadness reflected in Celestia’s eyes as patronizing disregard.
A long time ago, a friend had once warned her of the growing gap. That there would be moments where the distance between her and her sister would either widen or shrink and it all depended on how they interacted. He had warned her to be careful, to tread with caution and she'd dismissed it. Considered the statement reading in too much into things that did not exist, a joke or jest, as Accord was occasionally fond of but at the same time her rejection of his points had been a unconscious move on her part to ignore what was being pointed out and what she secretly feared. And in a way she was still ignoring it. Even now when it had become the obvious.
Was it really so wrong to want to act like there was never anything wrong? That in the years that had passed she hadn’t been slipping? That she hadn’t been slowly losing that fine tuned sense of control she'd crafted through years of work, years of political investment, through trial and error --so many errors-- even when she wasn't in control of a situation the knowledge that she had control over herself and could always regain control had been more comforting than the knowledge things could get out of hoof.
Was it wrong she hated Celestia for being stronger one? Was it wrong she hated her sister for not understanding?
And was it so wrong to want a little more affection in the grand scheme of all things?
Just a little bit more attention. More than baseless primal desire, more than simple praise or petty admiration but to receive that same glint of hope, that look of jubilation she’d seen so many give her sister when they walked the streets or visited the neighboring town or village. It was the same kind of look her own young would give her, had given her, and the sort of look of adoration and respect she hadn’t seen in what felt like eons on the face of the public when she appeared.
With a single blink, the thoughts were gone. Nightmare Moon didn’t get why she was shaking. She didn’t register it. Didn’t notice. Her chest felt tight for some odd reason and it became hard to breath. That was when the shivers happened and oh how the shivers wouldn’t stop. Memories surfaced, Luna's memories, like a torrent rushing through her mind she recalled things that were not welcomed. Memories that Luna had long since buried but were now spilling out like wasted split milk. Feelings that weren't her own, but feelings she shared in as she was merely a piece of cog in the larger machine. Thoughts and emotions as they rushed forward became memories. Luna’s memories resurfaced, questions they didn’t like thinking about began rearing their ugly heads.
These questions were much like the plague.
They came with a force, unwanted, and hurt everything they touched. Questions like if she lost here, what would happen? Would she go to Tartarus or would she be exiled from the land she’d helped nurture and create?
What would her offspring think of her? The nobles that oversaw the lands in various parts of the nation, how would they see her now when some had already begun to think unduly of her over the years? Something within the barriers of the Nightmare's mind shivered at the horrific thought only to have a new one replace it one after the other.
What would her offspring's descendants think of her?
What would history think of her?
What would her nephews and nieces, her grandnephews and grandnieces think of her? To know their great aunt had committed treason, which this was not, and as a result had been sent to Tartarus till a manner of restoring her had been secured? Or in the worst case she was left to rot there like Tirek.
What did those of her guard think of her as she was now? Did they regret their oaths? Was that the reason why so many had refused to side with her when she'd launched her very first declaration of war? Were they as terrified as many of the peasantry had been on the day she first emerged because of the form she now took?
If she was forced to retreat and Celestia found the rest of the Elements, despite her best efforts, how would their battle end? If they lost, if the Elements were used, would death truly come given what she had become or would the Elements immobilize her? Purify her? Destroy her?
Panic set in, panic that turned into a growing sense of dread. The thoughts and feelings that came to mind were unwanted, unnecessary, and were clouding her judgement but like any other time an episode passed, she would act like it had never happened. That there was never anything wrong.
A part of Nightmare Moon feared the Elements and what they would or could do. She had used them so many times against their enemies. Sometimes alone, sometimes altogether. Another part that understood the Elements, felt a powerful desire to tame them. To force them under her control. As control meant strength and strength was necessary to lead in these times.
Popping into her head before she could even think of an answer, the intrusive thoughts wouldn’t go away and the more they popped up, the angrier she became. Wings flaring she blasted off again, hoof out first to strike Princess Celestia as hard as she could and when she missed, the Nightmare found herself turning in the air, huffing and puffing as she fought for control over the tide that threatened to overwhelm her and as she breathed in and out, a new thought came to mind.
Was it really so wrong to want to go back to being that immaculate champion?
That champion that had returned to Canterlot the day Discord was overthrown. To be that Princess that had been praised and heard the masses chant both the name of her sister and her in victory, over and over. Those times where the fears or worries were scarce and hardly caused her to feel so low. Where feasts were held in their honor and she could cause boisterous laughter. The time of her life where she’d been the most lively.
Closing her eyes as she stayed hovering in the air Nightmare Moon could hear it.
The chanting was like a roar the day they came back and their victory had been announced, and yes, while it was centuries ago in the tombs, it was merely just a few years ago to her. She could hear their subjects, see their smiling faces, feel their joy-- those were the golden days of the Reformation Era. Where all that had been wrong had begun to settle after Discord’s magic ceased to lay hold on the world as it had before. Those were the times they’d been praised for their accomplishments. Where all that hard work didn’t seem like such a burden or a waste of time to ungrateful plebs. Where it was actually worth all the sacrifice, all the tears, blood and pain.
All that reminiscing was interrupted as Nightmare Moon’s ears perked, her eyes widened and she heard a whistling in the wind as something flew at her.
Horn igniting in a brief glow she teleported as several spells of pale blue color were sent flying in her direction and when she appeared back on the damaged tower, the Nightmare raised a shield as Princess Celestia slammed seven tons of force and made the Mare of the Moon grit her teeth in pain at the feedback that she most certainly had received.
Was it so bad to want to go back to that time where she had been at the epitome of her rule? The thought came out of nowhere.
No, was the answer she got. The answer was comforting, familiar, pleasant and Nightmare Moon found comfort in this answer. Just as one found comfort in the support of a friend, comfort that banished all her qualms and fed the flames of her confidence, her desire to achieve the power she so rightfully deserved.
It was natural to want to go back to how things were, that same familiar voice whispered into her ears. When things were at their best. When she and Celestia had not been standing on tilting scales but were equals. When she was appreciated and the elected nobles that had proven their worth showed her respect.
It was only natural to want to go back to that time where the Crown was not as heavy but was pleasant to wear before the wave of trouble came as time went on.
Nightmare Moon wanted so badly to return to those times of the golden age.
But there was only one way she could do that. One way she could go back to those times and relive those days, every night. She needed to remove the one that stood above her. She needed to crush her sister, the one who was the spotlight and apple of every eye, to show that she was the more competent and become the ruler that they all needed.
In a flash of indigo light, Nightmare Moon dropped her shield and tasted something coppery on her tongue from the pressure of biting her lips. Blinking the blur out of her eyes, the empress of the moon squinted through the drizzle and looked up to the dusky sky only to see a dot in the sky.
Spreading her wings, the Nightmare followed. Ready to take back those wondrous times.
Ready to restore those lost memories of glory to her former name.