Most ponies call me crazy. They don’t say it to my face, but I know they say it when they think I’m not looking. I don’t need to hear them – their faces tell me all I need to know. I’ve tried calling them out on it a few times, but all that ever got me was embarrassment.
Was it my fault that I had a hobby? Actually, let me rephrase that…
Was it a bad thing that I had a hobby? I’ll admit, it’s a little unorthodox, and perhaps I have the tendency to get a little obsessive at times, but does that automatically make it a bad thing? Does that automatically make me a crazy pony?
Apparently, according to my neighbors, the answer would be somewhere in the affirmative.
Today, though, as I walked through the streets of Ponyville, I ignored all the fleeting stares and almost-whispers that had absolutely nothing to do with the mask I was wearing. I had a goal in mind, and this time, it was more important than making a grocery run (it was still a close second, though. Food’s important, you know!).
As I neared my destination, I kept one eye out for anypony watching me. If what I was about to do would get me in trouble, I didn’t want one of Celestia’s spies to be able to report that I was there, lest she decide to put me down silently, never to be heard from again.
Perhaps I was a fool, then, to seek the aid of her personal student for my little project. It was a necessary risk, though, because there wasn’t another unicorn I knew that matched her talent and raw ability. If my plan was going to succeed, I was going to need that.
I approached the entrance to Twilight’s library. I opened the door, entered, and closed it again, all without breaking stride. I reached the middle of the floor and stopped. There was nopony in the main room.
“Twilight?” I called, my voice bouncing off every surface as it was carried through the building. I could almost hear the silence itself being shattered like a large skylight hit by a small boulder. I almost felt bad about it.
As quickly as it was dispersed, the silence came back, mending itself with inequine speed. I perked my ears, listening for any signs of movement. A few seconds passed. Nothing.
I called again, and again marveled at the silence’s uncanny ability to repair itself in almost no time at all. This time, though, its re-emergence was short lived. From the back of the library came the almost inaudible sounds of hoofsteps, and they were getting closer.
I smiled. My trip wasn’t wasted, after all. After a few more moments, the door to the rest of the hollowed-out tree opened to reveal a lavender unicorn standing there. When she spotted me, her look changed to one of confusion. I wondered why.
“Lyra? What’s with the mask?”
I whipped off my store-bought clown mask and looked out the windows to make sure nopony was watching. There was a possibility that I could convince Twilight to stay quiet, but a snitch? I didn’t want to take any chances.
“Never mind that now.” I said, using my magic to close the blinds around the room. You could never be too careful. “I need your help with something.”
Whatever hesitation she had gotten from my behavior seemed to vanish at those words. I could always count on Twilight, even when my requests were a little…unusual.
“Something about humans, I presume? What is it this time, another portal?” She was mocking me. It was uncalled for, really. I only tried the portals twice. This time, my plan had nothing to do with other dimensions, theoretical or otherwise. I would have told her that if I hadn’t already used that excuse to convince her to make the second portal.
I pretended to ignore the comment as I continued. “First you gotta promise not to tell the princess.”
She rolled her eyes. At this point, she’s come to expect that request, but she has no idea how important it is.
“Fine,” she said, “I promise. Now, what is it this time?”
I steeled myself. I hadn’t uttered my plan aloud in private, let alone tell someone else about it before.
“I want to make a human.”
She froze. This wasn’t my usual request of an inter-dimensional portal or screwing with pony anatomy to make fingers.
“Lyra, the last time you tried that, you barely escaped the mob.”
I shook my head. “No, not me, a new human. From scratch!”
She frowned. Her face showed more hesitation than usual. I was probably going to have to try extra hard to convince her this time.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” came her usual question.
“I haven’t tried it, yet. How should I know?” came my usual answer.
Twilight sighed her usual sigh. “I’ll take a look into it, but there’s no guarantee I’ll find anything.”
I smiled. “Thanks, Twi! I’ll come back next week, then.” I waved goodbye and left for home.
We had almost fallen into a routine by this point. Every time I got an idea to further my human research that required magic expertise, I’d come to her. She usually took about a week to come up with anything conclusive. Whether it was a way to perform whatever feat I had conjured up or proof that it was impossible depended on the situation.
I allowed myself a smile. It was so simple! If I couldn’t bring myself to the humans, then I could bring the humans to me! Sure, there would be the lack of human culture, but anatomy was better than nothing.
I opened the door to the house Bon Bon and I shared. She was a pretty cool mare. We met a while back, and I moved in with her about…has it been a year already? Wow, I guess time flies when you’re researching humans.
She was sitting at the table when I walked in, and her head was slumped in her hoof. It wasn’t soon after that she noticed my smile.
“What is it this time, another portal?” Was it really that obvious that I had visited Twilight? More importantly, why did everypony keep asking me that?!
I scoffed at her. “I’ll have you know it’s nothing of the sort!” She just rose her eyebrow at me.
“It’s not!” I insisted again. Honestly, it’s like nopony believes me, sometimes.
“So you being happy has nothing to do with humans?” she challenged.
“I didn’t say that.” I sure as hay wasn’t going to give her a straight answer, not after doubting me like that.
She facehoofed. “Honestly, Lyra, when is this going to stop?”
I gave her a confused look. “When is what going to stop?” Silly Bon Bon, you’re going to have to be more specific than that!
She waved her hooves about in exasperation. “This whole ‘human’ thing! You’ve talked about it nonstop ever since we’ve met and it’s only gotten worse since you moved in! It’s getting ridiculous!”
“It is not!” It wasn’t my fault humans were so interesting!
“Do I even have to mention the angry mob?”
“That was only that one time!”
“Know what?” she sighed, “Fine. If your latest scheme isn’t some crazy portal, then what is it?”
Wait, why was she suddenly interested in what I was doing? Normally she didn’t hear about my plans until after they failed (that sounded better in my head). Did something change?
My thoughts were rudely interrupted by my stomach growling at me with impatience. “Can I tell you over dinner?”
“So, wait. Let me make sure I have this straight.” Bon Bon shook her head as we were putting up the last of the dishes. “You decided you would just make a human? Out of thin air?”
“Well, I guess not out of thin air. The matter’s gotta come from somewhere, right?” I was starting to see a few holes in my plan. Wait, that’s what I had Twilight for.
Bon Bon shook her head again. “You said you were seeing Twilight again in a week, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah…” I was still a little uncertain about her sudden interest, but she had listened so far, instead of simply dismissing what I had to say.
She shook her head for the third time. Was something wrong? “Well, I’m gonna write a quick letter, then I’m off to bed. It’s getting late.”
I looked out the window to see the last bits of a sunset. Was it that late already? I guess time flies when you’re researching humans.
I bid her goodnight, then went to my own room for the night, ignoring the nagging feeling I was getting.
About ten minutes later, I was still awake, despite my efforts to fall asleep. My mind refused to rest, constantly telling me something was amiss. What, though, I couldn’t figure out. The only thing that I could think of was Bon Bon’s sudden interest in my research endeavors.
There was also that letter she mentioned. As far as I knew, she didn’t have any pen pals or relatives she regularly wrote to. And the timing…
My eyes widened. No, it couldn’t be. Not Bon Bon. But, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. My breath caught.
Bon Bon was one of Celestia’s spies.