The Uncle
By Alaborn
Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.
Chapter 7: A New Day
Evan, Darlene, and the foals stepped out of the hospital and into the warm summer evening. Evan took a deep breath, glad to be out in the clean air and away from the hospital’s antiseptic smell.
“It sure got dark quickly,” Darlene said.
“That’s what happens when the sun and moon are under control of the princesses. No hour-long twilight like we’re used to,” Evan replied.
“Wait. You believe that?”
“All I know is what I’ve read. There were several incidents when creatures other than the princesses controlled the celestial bodies, some of them playing with them like toys, and everyone on the planet observed it.”
“But how?”
Evan shrugged. “That’s one of the big questions scientists are trying to answer. Astronomers are sure the sun is not a real star. There’s speculation it’s a giant ball of magic. In any case, they’ve washed their hands of it. The only ones who seem to be willing to treat it as real are the theoretical physicists. Something about some unified theory.”
“I didn’t know you read about that kind of thing,” Darlene said.
“Well, knowing my brother is here makes it personal, you know?”
Darlene looked to the sky. “Is one of those our sun?”
“We could be in a parallel universe, or we could be in some part of the universe too distant to see. We’ll probably never know.”
“It’s such a brilliant sky. So clear and bright.”
“It is. Everything’s so nice,” Evan said. From what he’d read, and what he’d experienced, he knew how much different the senses were in his pony body. Even aside from the whole magic sense, his eyes were remarkably sharp, and saw the night sky clearly. His nose picked up the scent of wood fires, baking bread, flowers... even the grass smelled wonderful. And his ears picked up the rustling of branches and buzzing of insects.
“WAAAAAH!”
Evan’s ears folded back out of instinct. Pony ears were very good at hearing the cries of a hungry filly.
And then his nose told him this hungry filly also needed a clean diaper.
Evan whispered soothing words to Rose Aurora, but the filly wouldn’t stop crying. As he passed the houses lining both sides of the street, he could swear ponies were watching him from the windows, judging the quality of his parenting.
And the smell got even worse.
“Let’s pick up the pace,” Evan said.
“I’m pushing as fast as I can,” Darlene replied.
“Let me give it a try,” Evan said.
Evan paused, picked up Stonehoof with his mouth, and placed the colt on his back. He then took Darlene’s place behind the stroller, making sure the handle was secure.
Evan walked, pushing the stroller smoothly, and then willed himself to move faster. He could feel the pattern of the movement of his four legs shift, but dared not thing about it, lest he end up stumbling. He trotted, or cantered, or whatever the right term was, increasing his speed up until the point he felt the stroller was slipping from his “grasp”.
To his right, Darlene was having trouble keeping up. She didn’t seem to know how to change speeds, but she found the obvious solution as she took to the air, flying unsteadily at Evan’s side.
They made it home in good time, with Rose Aurora still crying loudly. Evan pushed open the door and picked Stonehoof off his back, placing the colt on the floor. “You get the bottle, and I’ll deal with the diaper,” he said to Darlene.
Darlene nodded and headed to the kitchen.
Evan took Rose Aurora to the bedroom. He held his breath as he lifted her to the changing table, but when he had to take a breath, he couldn’t avoid the smell. He opened the box of wipes and inhaled the floral scent to try to compensate.
It didn’t work.
Evan got to work as fast as he could. He pulled down the filly’s rubber pants, which he noticed were going to have to be cleaned. The diaper underneath was a lost cause. But it still had to come off.
He looked around the room for something, anything, that would allow him to change the diaper at a distance. He thought of that child toy with a plastic claw that one would extend by squeezing a trigger. It sounded like that would be a gold mine if someone were to sell it to non-unicorn parents in Equestria.
But Evan had no choice but to use his mouth.
Five minutes and ten wipes later, Rose Aurora was clean, and Evan was wishing ponies had mouthwash.
Darlene entered the bedroom, carrying a bottle in her mouth. “She’s still crying?” she said.
Evan blinked. He was so concerned with his other senses that he completely tuned out that Rose Aurora was still crying loudly. “Well, she is still hungry,” he said. “Go ahead and feed her. I need to deal with this mess of a diaper and clean up these pants.”
Darlene took the filly. Evan took a deep breath, and picked up the toxic waste. As fast as he dared, he ran to the bathroom, dropping the diaper in the toilet and the rubber pants in the sink. The latter he cleaned with a long-handled brush, hot water, and lots of soap.
By the time he was done, Evan noticed the house was quiet again. He returned to the bedroom, and saw Darlene cooing softly over the newly quiet filly in the crib.
Evan flopped onto the bed. “I’m glad that’s finished.”
“Yeah,” Darlene said. “Wait. Where’s Stonehoof?”
Evan groaned and crawled off the bed.
“It’s amazing,” Evan said.
“It is,” Darlene agreed.
The two humans turned ponies looked at Stonehoof, neatly tucked into his bed.
“The colt who would not take a nap wants us to believe he’s sleeping now,” Evan said.
“And that, despite how much noise his sister was making,” Darlene said.
“Why, what would make him want to go to sleep without having a bath and brushing his teeth?”
To his credit, Stonehoof stayed quiet, but the twitching of his ears betrayed that he was awake and listening.
Evan reached out with a wing, and tickled Stonehoof’s muzzle with a feather. The colt started giggling. Evan then grabbed the colt. “Come on, let’s get you ready for bed for real,” he said.
“I’ll get the bath ready,” Darlene said.
“Okay, Stonehoof, let’s get your teeth brushed,” Evan said.
“No,” the colt protested. It was ineffective, since he was resting on Evan’s back, and he had no choice but to be taken to the bathroom.
Evan grabbed the jar of toothpaste, put a smaller amount on Stonehoof’s toothbrush this time, and took the colt back to his bedroom. He sat pony style, leaned back a bit, and rested the colt’s head against his hind leg.
Stonehoof didn’t look thrilled, but he seemed resigned to his fate as he opened his mouth. Evan got to work, brushing the colt’s teeth and making sure not to go overboard. He was soon done, and carried the colt back to the bathroom. He lifted Stonehoof up so that he could spit, and then helped him get a glass of water. The colt seemed a lot surer with his hooves than he was.
“Okay, bath time,” Evan said as he set down the colt.
“No,” Stonehoof said.
Evan, still with one hoof on Stonehoof’s back, turned the colt around so that he could see his watery fate. “Is it ready?” he asked Darlene.
“I think so, but it’s hard to feel how hot the water is with a hoof,” Darlene replied.
Evan looked at the tub. “Isn’t that too much water? Aren’t kids supposed to be bathed in only a little water?” For some reason, he recalled the figure six inches, but he couldn’t remember if that was the right amount of bathwater or if that was from some public service announcement warning that children could drown in the bathtub.
“Don’t ask me. You’re the one who took care of a little brother.”
“I changed diapers. Mom and Dad always handled baths,” Evan said. He stuck his hoof into the water up to his fetlock; it was pleasantly warm. “Okay, in you go,” he said to Stonehoof.
The colt scowled, but didn’t protest as his furry rump was lowered into the water. He ended up seated in the bathtub, with the water coming up to his chest, or whatever the pony term was. It looked like just the right amount of water for a bath.
Evan looked around the tub, spotting a small brush in the corner. The bristles looked like the brushes he had used that morning, but the shape was more familiar, like the handheld scrub brush he used to clean his bathroom at home. The brush was wooden, not plastic, and the visible teeth marks on the handle reinforced that in this world, nothing was handheld.
Evan took the small brush in his mouth while Darlene fumbled with the bottle of liquid soap. Even holding it with both forehooves and the claws at the tips of her wings, she had trouble keeping it still as she tried to remove the cap with her mouth. But eventually, she managed the task.
Together, the two adults turned to face their task. They saw Stonehoof raise his forelegs, grin, and bring his hooves down on the water.
The colt’s little hooves somehow displaced a remarkable amount of water. The spout of water splashed in Evan’s eyes and got in his nose and mouth. He coughed and sputtered, dropping the brush in the water. Darlene fared no better, losing her hold on the bottle of soap. And Stonehoof continued to splash in the water.
Evan had to poke his muzzle into the bathtub to retrieve the dropped items. His face was wet, and he was aware of more water landing on his body. The water dripped down his mane and landed on his wings, and he fought the urge to flutter his wings to dry them. He finally picked up the brush and bottle, and spit them out on the edge of the tub.
“Stop that,” he told Stonehoof.
Stonehoof continued to splash in the water. Some now got in Evan’s ear, and it felt as irritating as it did as a human.
“Can you hold him down?” Evan asked Darlene.
Darlene nodded and reached for the colt. It turned out the grip from wet hooves was no match for a squirming colt. Darlene was rewarded for her efforts by the slap of a wet tail across her muzzle. She reached for the colt again, leaning across the tub. Her hind hooves slipped across the now slick tile floor, and she fell halfway into the tub.
Stonehoof giggled. “Play more!” he said.
“This isn’t playtime!” Evan replied. That didn’t change the colt’s behavior. He continued to move around the tub, each splash somehow creating a targeted deluge.
Finally, Evan picked up Stonehoof by the nape of his neck and lifted him out of the water. The water dripping off of the colt was not enough to bother them. Evan looked to Darlene. She nodded, and picked up the soap. She squeezed the bottle, and covered him in soap. For good measure, she did the same with the shampoo.
“Get the brushes ready,” Evan mumbled around the suspended colt.
Darlene took the small scrub brush in her mouth.
Evan lowered the colt into the tub and grabbed him with his hooves. At the same time, Darlene started to scrub him. Stonehoof tried to get away, but Evan maintained his firm grip. Eventually, Stonehoof stopped fighting. His head drooped, and he scowled as the brush dug into his coat.
Evan felt secure enough to help with the bathing. He didn’t loosen his grip, but he did take one of the long-handled brushes in his mouth, and started scrubbing Stonehoof’s mane. Holding a brush in his mouth still felt silly, but it worked. There would be no way he could have handled this with just his hands!
After quite a bit of work, Evan and Darlene had a clean colt. Well, as near as they could tell, they had a clean colt. Dirt didn’t really show up on his gray coat. But they smelled the floral fragrance of the soap and shampoo, and not the pungent scent of dirty horse.
“Okay, let’s get you rinsed off,” Evan said. He turned on the faucet with his mouth, and then pulled on the cord with his wing to turn on the shower. He avoided getting his own mane wet as he pulled his head back. A brief rinse, and they got all the soap out of Stonehoof’s coat, mane, and tail.
Evan turned off the shower, and then reached for Stonehoof. Too late, he noticed the colt holding up his forehooves.
**Splash!**
Evan and Darlene received one more splash to remind them of this bath. As he was wiping the water out of his eyes, Evan noticed there was about six inches of water left in the tub.
They then dried off Stonehoof and set the colt down. Looking at the state of his mane and tail, they realized he needed to be brushed before bed. That turned out to be another two-person job, as Stonehoof cried out whenever they encountered a tangle in his hair. And there were plenty of tangles. Evan had flashbacks of having his own hair combed as a child by his parents.
“Go to bed, Stonehoof,” Evan told his nephew.
“Okay, Unca!” he replied as he dashed off.
“That was surprisingly cooperative,” Darlene said.
“He’s probably hoping we’re going to forget his diaper,” Evan said. “But that can wait until we towel off.”
Toweling off was a task made much easier by having another pony around. Once they were dry, Evan looked to clean up the floor. With all the water Stonehoof had splashed, he was expecting a decent layer of water. But the floor had a drain, like the locker rooms in his health club, so all they needed to do was wipe down the floors.
One diaper later, Stonehoof was finally ready for bed.
Evan and Darlene returned to their bedroom. Fortunately, Rose Aurora was fast asleep. The tiny filly looked positively angelic.
“Good night, sweetheart,” Evan whispered.
Evan joined Darlene under the covers and snuggled up next to her.
An itch in Evan’s wings stirred him from sleep. His mind soon registered the feeling of magic. He opened his eyes and spotted the glow coming from the crib. Another magic surge, he thought.
He slipped out of bed as quietly as possible and walked to the crib. He guessed it wasn’t as big of a surge, as Rose Aurora was only floating a few inches above the crib. He scooped her up in his forelegs and wrapped his wings around her. “I’m here, baby girl,” he whispered.
Rose Aurora fidgeted and fussed, the magic in her horn causing her discomfort. Evan tried rubbing her horn with his hoof, but it wasn’t doing anything. He then remembered what he saw his brother do, and tried kissing her horn.
Evan’s eyes popped wide open as he felt the magic flow into him. He felt his mane rise, as if pumped full of static electricity, and his wings felt charged with magic. He had to open them and flap them to make the charge leave his body. After a moment, the feeling of the magic passed. Looking down, Rose Aurora was now smiling and nuzzling into his chest.
Evan set the filly back in her crib, smiled, and returned to bed.
Saturday, September 2, 2023
Ponyville, Equestria
Evan woke at dawn to a quiet house. The morning birds were singing, the fragrant scent of roses drifted in through the window, and Darlene was tucked under his wing. Everything was perfect.
He hoped everything was perfect. He crawled out of bed to check.
Rose Aurora was still fast asleep. The filly probably had a wet diaper, but that could wait. Evan then checked on Stonehoof. The colt was also asleep, and had again kicked his blankets and pillows off the bed.
Evan returned to the bedroom and nudged Darlene with his muzzle. She had tucked her head under her own wing in the brief time he was gone, and she responded by pulling herself into a tighter ball of pony.
“Wake up, Darlene,” he whispered.
Darlene grunted noncommittally.
After some more nudging, she finally pulled her wing back. She opened her eyes, squinting against the early light. “Why’d you wake me?” she muttered.
“We should get up and bathe while the kids are still asleep,” he replied.
She thought for a moment before responding “Yeah.” She pushed back the covers, got to her hooves, and stretched, arching her back much like a cat before unfolding and shaking her wings.
“You did that like a natural,” Evan commented.
Darlene took stock of the way she was standing. “You’re right,” she said. “I can’t believe this is beginning to feel normal.”
“I’ll feel normal after a bath,” Evan said.
They headed to the bathroom, Darlene starting the water while Evan looked for their new brushes. After a while, he remembered that they were still in the stroller from their shopping trip the previous day. He went and retrieved them, along with their wing shampoo. He had some trouble freeing the two brushes from their packaging, even though it was just cardboard and twine. He was pretty sure ponies would never come up with plastic blister packs, unless there existed somewhere a particularly sadistic unicorn.
By this time, the tub was filled with steaming hot bathwater. Evan followed Darlene into the bathtub, and they started scrubbing each other. It went remarkably smoothly, now that both knew what they were doing.
“Let’s try this out,” Evan said, taking the foam felt brush in his mouth. He grabbed the wing shampoo in his hooves and squeezed a dollop onto the brush. Darlene, a little bit hesitant, spread her wings.
With the first stroke of the felt brush, Darlene let off a soft trill, a vocalization that didn’t sound human. But it did sound like she was happy.
Darlene noticed Evan pause. “Keep doing that. It feels so good!” she said.
Evan continued, and Darlene never stopped cooing in approval.
Then it was his turn. He spread his wings, and Darlene ran the wide-toothed comb through them. He couldn’t help but imagine she was raking his feathers. It didn’t feel as good as Darlene’s experience, but it felt right. And when she was done, his wings felt lighter, fluffier.
With their bath complete, Evan and Darlene helped each other dry off. Ready to face the day, at least after some more brushing, they pushed open the door to the bathroom.
Stonehoof looked up at them. “That was pretty singing, Auntie. Can you sing again?”
The second morning went a lot better than the first. Evan and Darlene knew what they needed to do. Get Stonehoof out of his diaper, change Rose Aurora, start a bottle. This morning, oatmeal would not be denied them, as Evan knew how to operate the stove. He stoked the fire while Darlene filled a pot with water.
“These probably aren’t instant oats, are they?” Darlene said.
“At least we have plenty of time for a leisurely breakfast,” Evan said.
They did have plenty of time to feed Rose Aurora while Stonehoof played on the floor and the oatmeal cooked on the stove. Despite the simple fare, Evan found himself drooling at the aroma. He recalled just how good oatmeal tasted as a pony, and he couldn’t wait for it to be served.
Finally, breakfast was ready. Evan filled two bowls for them, and a smaller one for Stonehoof.
“Where’s the sugar?” Darlene asked as she looked at the oatmeal. She didn’t know the secret.
“Just try it. It’s going to taste really good,” he said in reply.
Darlene looked skeptical, but took a spoon in her leg-hoof joint and lifted a spoonful of oatmeal to her mouth. “Wow!” she exclaimed.
“I know, right?”
“If oatmeal tasted like this back home, I’d eat it every morning,” she said.
“Enjoy it while you can. Let’s eat!”
The table shook as Stonehoof pounded his hooves on the table.
“Right. Let’s not forget to feed you, too.”
Between the three of them, they had no problem finishing off the oatmeal they had prepared. With how fast Stonehoof ate, Evan figured that the colt might be hungry well before lunch. But that should give them a few hours to enjoy as a family.
But first, there were dishes to clean.
Oatmeal was one food that needed to be wiped up right away. Growing up, Evan remembered how his parents would often have oatmeal or similar foods for breakfast, and then leave the bowls in the sink. What would have taken a few seconds to wash off when the oatmeal was fresh instead took minutes of determined scrubbing after it had all day to dry. And that was with hands and Teflon scouring pads.
Therefore, Evan was quick to clean up, washing the wooden bowls and metal pot with that strange hoof-sponge. Meanwhile, Darlene dried the clean bowls.
They had just finished up the last of the dishes when they heard a knocking on the door. “Is that that pegasus again?” Darlene wondered.
“I’m not sure,” Evan said. He was doubtful; the knocking sounded a lot louder and more intense. “I’ll get the door.”
Evan opened the door to reveal an older earth pony couple. The stallion had a burnt orange coat, brown mane, and a cutie mark that looked like a table leg. The mare had a bright red coat, mane in two shades of violet, and a rose bush for a cutie mark. He knew he had seen them before, but before he could remember where, Stonehoof provided the answer. The colt ran into the living room and shouted “Grandpa!”
“Hey, kiddo!” Grandfather reached down, grabbed Stonehoof, and reared, lifting the colt into the air. Stonehoof giggled.
Meanwhile Grandmother had already found Rose Aurora. She had the filly out of the high chair and was cradling her. She accomplished that without Rose Aurora crying or even fussing.
“How do you do that?” Evan asked. “They’re never that good!”
“It’s grandparents’ privilege,” Grandfather said. “You’re my son-in-law’s brother, right?”
“Right. Evan,” he replied. “That’s my girlfriend, Darlene.”
“A pleasure to see you again, and a pleasure to meet you, Darlene,” Grandfather said. “I’m Table Turner, and this is my wife, Fragrant Rose. We’re Rose’s parents.”
“That name is a giveaway,” Darlene said to Fragrant Rose.
“Roses run in the family,” Fragrant Rose said. “I can’t wait to see what this little one does,” she continued, looking at Rose Aurora.
“Did you just arrive?” Evan asked.
“On the overnight train, yes. We came as soon as we got the message,” Table Turner said. “How is Rose?”
“She’s fine; she just needs time for her treatment to finish,” Evan replied. “Your daughter was very brave.”
“We raised Rose to always use her strength to help others,” Fragrant Rose said.
“Well, we’re here to relieve you from caring for these foals,” Table Turner told Evan and Darlene. “I’d like to thank you for coming even farther than us to take care of them first. It’s really important to us that family watches foals, especially when they’re this young.”
“It wasn’t how I planned to spend this weekend, but I’m glad I came,” Evan said.
“I didn’t want to come at all,” Darlene said. “But then I figured out I’d be an idiot to pass up this opportunity.”
“Neither of us knew what we were doing, but hey, we’re all still here, right?” Evan said.
“Just consider it practice for your future,” Fragrant Rose said.
Evan and Darlene looked at each other. “Uh...” they uttered.
“Don’t pressure them,” Table Turner said. “You know humans; they don’t have a Princess of Love to help them figure things out.”
“That’s why they should take advantage of this opportunity,” Fragrant Rose replied.
“Let’s get out of here before someone gives us a wedding date,” Darlene said.
“Gotta agree with you there,” Evan said. He turned to Stonehoof, now standing balanced on his grandfather’s head. “Goodbye, Stonehoof.”
Stonehoof waved. “Bye, unca!”
“And you too, Rose Aurora.” He kissed the filly on the forehead.
They started to walk away, but they saw Stonehoof looking at them.
It took several rounds of nuzzles before Evan and Darlene finally left the foals.
It was another perfect summer day in Equestria, with completely clear skies. That made it easy to figure out their destination. Evan pointed to the giant purple castle. “Well, that’s our way home,” he said. “We still have most of the weekend to find something to do.”
“Do we have to go home now?” Darlene asked.
“I don’t suppose we’re on a schedule or anything.”
Darlene put on her sunglasses and spread her wings. “I feel like finding something to do. Here.”
Evan couldn’t agree more. Without saying another word, he spread his wings. The two humans turned ponies took to the sky.