//------------------------------// // Feeling Itchy // Story: Washout For Your Feelings // by Beakwood //------------------------------// "So how about we do a test?" "A test? What for?" "Hon, if I had to guess, I'm pretty sure you never dated anypony. Do you really think a mare like Lightning Dust is going to like a total chump? Have you even kissed a mare before?" Thunderlane felt as if part of him just died on the inside. Kicker's question brought into light one of his biggest insecurities as a stallion. No, he never kissed a mare, if Kicker meant in a romantic way. Yet, after spending the last few minutes doing paperwork (the amount of bureaucracy for setting clouds always astounded him) and hearing from his other fellow workers, Kicker was still adamant on getting throught Thunderlane's confusing affection towards the leader of the Washouts. "While speaking about that," The blonde continued, not bothering to wait for some sad excuse of an answer. "How old are you again? I'm pretty sure you could be married by now." "You're not making this any easier Kicker." Thunderlane replied through gritted teeth. His patient stance towards her constant jabs was running thin. "Are you a virgin?" "Fuck! I just want to take her out and figure things out! Okay?! Stop poking at me with things that I really don't care!!" Kicker's ears folded back at his outburst. While it was unusual for him to get so upset, she had to admit she was being too pushy. "My bad. I just want to make sure that...well, if you two actually get something going, you don't wanna screw it up at the physical part." Thunderlane expressed his disbelief with a disdainful raise of an eyebrow. "And what exactly makes you think that Lightning ever had any?" Now it was Kicker's turn to express her skepticism. "Oh, please! A mare like her wouldn't have gone this far without a...refreshment. What makes you think that she never did?" Thunderlane shrugged nonchalantly. "Easy. Did Rainbow Dash ever had any?" Cloud Kicker opened her mouth to respond, paused, and slowly shut it back with some resignation. "Okay. " She said after a short pause. "I see where you are coming from. But is better be safe than sorry, ain't that right?" "And how exactly you expect me to get some sort of experience?" Thunderlane asked in bewilderment. "I can't just go around kissing and stuff for the sake of it!" "Pfff. All you need is a good friend who is willingly to give you some advices." Kicker replied, a cheesy grin on her face that made the stallion suspicious. "And who do you have in mind?" Thunderlane asked, feigning curiosity at her possible candidate. "Well, duh. Who else if not yours truly?" The mare said as she gestured at herself with both front hooves. Thunderlane couldn't help but stare silently at her. "What's with the staring?" "So you're saying you're offering yourself to kiss me and stuff for the sake of teaching me how to do it?" The stallion asked very slowly. "Well...." Kicker scratched one ear sheepishly, glancing around to make sure there were no other pegasus trying to eavesdrop on them."...yeah." "You're delusional." Thunderlane said, looking at her with some disappointment. The blonde jerked at this unexpected reply. "What?!" "Cloud Kicker, that's just cheap. I won't kiss you for the sake of learning how to be a good kisser." Before the blonde could express her indignation, the abrupt sound of a door opening interrupted them. Both pegasus turned their attention towards the newcomer, who was no other than Rainbow Dash. "Kicks! Something really bad happened! Ya gotta help me!" The cyan mare said, whatever has her distressed seems pretty important. "Huh, okay?" Kicker was taken aback by the clear urgency in Rainbow's voice. She glanced back at Thunderlane, only to find that the stallion was clearly uninterested by Rainbow's presence. "What happened?" "Scoots doesn't like me anymore!" Rainbow yelled desperately. "What a bummer." Muttered Thunderlane under his breath, already antecipating some nonsensical drama coming their way. Cloud Kicker seemed to share of the stallion's silent opinion, she glanced at Rainbow without expressing any visible concern. "Hum...why not?" "There's this dumb stunt troop she keeps talking about! The Washouts or something." Rainbow replied, clearly dismayed by the sudden change of events. "What the hay, I can't believe she ditched me for them!" "You never heard of the Washouts before?" Thunderlane couldn't help but ask. It baffled him that Rainbow remained ignorant this long in regards of the stunt troop that was giving Spitfire nightmares. "Rainbow, are you paying attention to Spitfire's debriefs?" "Why? Is there anything important that was said?" She asked, a sidelong glance directed at the stallion, he sweatdropped as a response to her question. "Huh, it's called 'debrief' for a good reason Rainbow. Were you sleeping everytime through them?" He asked, perplexed at the mare's lack of discipline. Rainbow shrugged. "Maybe, but that's not the point! Kicker, what do I do? Scoots can't possibly like them more than she likes me! She even said my stunts were junk!" Now that was definitely surprising to hear. "She actually said your stunts were junk?" Kicker couldn't help but admire how bold Scootaloo decided to be towards Rainbow Dash. Thunderlane couldn't help but laugh, imagining how much Rainbow freaked out when Scoots told that to her face. "Well..." Rainbow paused, a nasty glare threw at Thunderlane's direction. The stallion didn't seem to care though. "...she said the Wonderbolt's flying formations are junk!But I'm a Wonderbolt and that really sucked!" "Who's sucking what?" Kicker inquired, a cheesy grin on her face. Yet, her attempt at a dirty joke went right over Rainbow's head. "Huh?" Dash seemed confused for a second, unsure at what Kicker was trying to imply. "I'm saying it really sucks to hear this kind of stuff! From squirt no less!" Thunderlane, whose attention was fading from the conversation, got caught by surprise with the 'odd' nickname addressing. 'Squirt?! Why in the bloody damn would you use that word to refer to anypony?' Yet, the hilarity of Rainbow's terrible perception was enough for the stallion to keep the problem to himself, assuring some future amusement every time Rainbow talks about Scootaloo. Cloud Kicker, who seemed frustrated that her sexual jokes have no effect on Dash, slowly made her way around the nearest table, picking some papers as she went by. "Surely it is a problem, but what do you expect me to do Rainbow? I don't have experience dealing with kids." "Yeah, but... what I do then? I don't known anypony that has a kid at the age of Scoots, aside Rarity and Applejack but they didn't seem that worried when I told them." Rainbow was evidently frustrated at her friends poor reaction to such important matter. "Why you don't ask Thunderlane?" 'Kicker, what the fuck?' Thunderlane was livid that she would even dare to push Rainbow Dash at him in such an evil manner. 'You can't be seriously this upset because of a kiss!' "What?! Thunderlane?!" Rainbow Dash sounded almost disgusted. "What does he even know about kids?!" Aside the fact they were talking like if he wasn't there, Thunderlane often wished he could turn into a mare, only because he wouldn't feel guilty after beating the living shit out of Rainbow. Cloud Kicker had this blank expression on her face, glaring at Rainbow with cold intensity, a clear sign of danger for anypony who knew her well along the years. "Thunderlane, I may remind your damn ignorance, raised Rumble since he was four, he never had a choice on the matter because his parents were dead. Yet, despite struggling and starving, Thunderlane raised his brother to the colt he is today even without any experience on the matter. So I'm very confident to say Thunderlane understands a lot more about raising a child than you ever fucking bothered to care about." The stallion couldn't help but wince at the stone heart sharpness of the blonde, yet it was justified. Rainbow Dash was unused to being on the receiving end of such admonishing honesty. The rainbow mare seemed properly abashed as she lowered her head to the ground in utter shame. "And I will say this once and you better fucking listen." The blonde continued, her voice nearly a whisper as she stared down at a hopeless and petrified Rainbow Dash. "You will go ask Thunderlane for help, if he decides to refuse to help that's your own problem. But if I ever hear you saying that stupid shit about Thunderlane again I will split your face in two. Do I make myself clear?" 'She's really attractive when terrorizing others.' Thunderlane couldn't help but notice while watching the shocking display. Rainbow, who seemed white as a sheet, could only nod numbly as a response. After few seconds of hesitation, in which she was assured that Kicker wouldn't rip her head off, the cyan mare slowly turned around and trotted towards the stallion at a timid pace. Thunderlane was debating whether or not he should help Rainbow. The mare was clearly going through a difficult experience, she made less of him but Kicker's heads up probably shoved some humbleness into her. Refusing to help at this point would be downright cruel. Rainbow Dash didn't need to feel like the entire world hated her all of sudden. "H-hey Thunderlane." Rainbow asked, her eyes focusing on the stallion's hooves, clearly too ashamed to go face to face. "Can... you help me... please?" Every fiber in his body was screaming for Thunderlane to say no, to refuse and earn some rightful vengeance for all the times Rainbow made him suffer, for all the unjustified acts she performed against him in the past. Yet, his heart begged him to help her, to try one more time to build any sort of friendship they never had. To not leave a mare in pure misery, one that Rainbow clearly struggled to cope with. Helping her is what his mother would've wanted him to do. In the end the heart would always win, because he could never bring himself to do any different from what his parents taught and expected from him. Thunderlane, while more inclined to offer a hoof in support, wasn't sure that helping Rainbow to solve her dilemma with Scootaloo would accomplish any good in the short run. There were many things that the stallion could say about Rainbow Dash. Maturity wasn't one of them. Rainbow Dash stood as a hero and idol for many ponies in Ponyville, mostly due her individual heroics few seasons back, but that was a couple years back. Things changed after the incident back at the Weather Factory. Due a strange chain of circumstances, that both Thunder and Kicker found out after asking few trustworthy pegasus, Rainbow Dash overloaded the main weather generator at Cloudsdale. The overload created a gigantic mass of tons of snow that, with a huge amount of bad luck, fell from the sky right on top of Ponyville. Aside lots of property damage, few injured ponies, and missing ones that were found way later, the Winter Festival was completely ruined. All because Rainbow didn't want her pet to go to sleep throught winter. The stallion remembered that day marked the moment that Cloud Kicker, who used to be Rainbow's closest friend before the events of Nightmare Night, lost all the respect she had for Dash. A day in which many ponies stopped caring about Rainbow 'Awesome' Dash. Yet, most of her fan club remained at her side, though they we're clearly shook by learning the truth behind the Winter incident. The kids would always admire her, but the adults no longer viewed Rainbow Dash as a role model or an example of any sort. But it wasn't the fact that Rainbow nearly crushed and suffocated lots of ponies under tons of snow that infuriated Thunderlane. It was the fact that Twilight had the audacity of trying to cover her up. Rather than explain exactly what happened Twilight came up with some shitty tale about Rainbow struggling with her emotions and being a victim of circumstances and bad decisions. "If Rainbow was the victim then who was the murderer?" Thunderlane was pretty sure Twilight would've zapped him if not for Rarity calling her out a moment later. And that was the moment that his respect towards Twilight Sparkle went from few to none. Twilight may be the princess of friendship, but in Thunderlane's view that didn't mean she should cover up for her closests friends if they clearly were in the wrong. It was not fair to everypony else. Speaking of fairness... "Rainbow. Do you really need my help? Do you really think Scootaloo doesn't care about you anymore? Or... "He paused, frowning as the most logical thought occurred to him. "...are you just making a fuss because she doesn't like the Wonderbolts as much as before?" "But, Lane! Come on!" The mare suddenly snapped, all the awkwardness of moments earlier quickly forgotten. "She called m- our stunts junk! Doesn't that hurt you a little bit?!" "No, it doesn't." His reply stunned the cyan mare. Rainbow clearly couldn't cope with the idea of change, but Thunderlane wasn't swayed by Scootaloo's opinion. "And you know why? "No... I don't....why would she say such things?!" Rainbow asked, seemingly desperate to find answers. Thunderlane sighed. "Because she is a teen Rainbow. At her age they want to try different things in life, have different experiences, see more fascinating things they've have ever seen before. But most importantly, and somehow that went over your huge head," Rainbow frowned at the poke towards her ego. "Scootaloo is a daredevil kind of filly. And The Washouts are much more interesting for her because she feels she can relate more to them due their dangerous stunts. " "But why?! It's not like what we do is that simple!" Rainbow's undignified complain was understandable, at least the stallion could sympathize on that regard. Thunderlane felt that there was an important aspect here that was completely missing, he wasn't sure of why exactly Scoots would change so radically, but Rumble stopped being comprehensible a long time ago. "I'm pretty sure we will find out after the show tomorrow. There's no point getting stressed until then. Dealing with kids requires you to be more complacent to their tastes, even if you do not agree or understand." Thunderlane said while exchanging a knowingly glance with Kicker. The blonde nodded in approval to his words. "I guess so." Rainbow replied hesitantly. She seemed thoughtful, a rare occurrence in Thunder's opinion, before looking up at him and back to Kicker. "Hey, I...I'm sorry for the dumb thing I said. I just didn't think that..." Thunderlane, who was already watching Raimbow very careful, realized in an instant what she wanted to say, but was too afraid because of how Cloud Kicker might react. "You thought a stallion would never understand about kids, just like you think they are not worthy of lots of other things." It wasn't a question. Thunderlane has been entertaining the idea of Rainbow Dash not liking stallions for a long time, especially after his exclusive treatment under Rainbow's command during her days as weather captain. Kicker's troubled expression went unnoticed, mostly due Rainbow's reaction to his accusation. "No! It's not that! I swear! Please Thunder don't say that!" Rainbow's unexpected outburst surprised the stallion immensely. He stared in utter puzzlement at Rainbow's panicked expression, her wings ruffling in extreme agitation, her breathing becoming frantic as her pupils shrank, eyes focusing on him in sheer terror. The way she acted was so bizarre that neither Kicker or Thunder had any idea of what to say. They both searched for each other's presence in hopes of finding an answer to this strange event, but neither had any previous knowledge of what might be the reason behind Rainbow's little panic attack. "Okay..." Thunderlane said hesitantly, worried of causing any further reactions with a misplaced word. "Let's discuss that on another time. How about we go home and worry about getting to understand the deal between you and Scootaloo at the show tomorrow? " Rainbow blinked, the sudden change of topic seemed to placate whatever weirdness she got herself into. Her stance visibly relaxed, though she remained wary as she eyed both ponies in the office, seemingly worried they would jump at her or something. "Kay, I gotta check on Tank and stuff, so...yeah." Rainbow slowly trotted towards the door, pausing as she went by Thunder. She was about to say something, but her mouth only hang open for few seconds before she gave up and moved on her way out. Thunderlane had no idea what just happened. As soon the door closed the stallion made his way towards Cloud Kicker. "Do you know what just happened with Rainbow? I never saw her freak out like that since- "Since the day we found out she was hiding a lot of misplaced orders for extra layers of thunder clouds?" Concluded Kicker with a frown. "Yeah, Rainbow tends to freak out when hiding something or getting extremely worried about something. Though I have no ide- Cloud Kicker paused. Her eyes averting from the current stack of papers laying over her desk to the dumbfounded stallion in front of her. A sudden thought occurring to her, one that she would never dare to entertain in a million years. "Thunderlane, she seemed awfully worried that you thought she didn't like stallions." Kicker commented somewhat expectantly. Thunderlane shrugged. "So? The way she acts gave me all the impression she doesn't, especially me." "Yes, but.. " Kicker fought a grin as she played the words in her head. "...you know Rainbow is the 'hard to get' kind of mare. You know? The ones that make themselves difficult towards those they are interested in?" "Huh." Thunderlane wasn't sure he liked this conversation. "Maybe....maybe...she actually has a strong likening for those she treat poorly, maybe she wants a stallion to admire her for being such a badass. Maybe that's her way of showing how interested she is on a stallion. And I gotta say...she sure gave you a lot of her time. " The blonde couldn't help but blink an eye provocatively. Thunderlane stared at her, a big part of him wondering if Kicker was trying to fuck with him or something. 'Oh wait, she actually was trying.' He thought to himself, remembering of their earlier conversation. "I think I will go home. Lots of things to do tomorrow. Later Kicks." The stallion said despondently before turning away towards the exit. His sudden departure caught the mare by surprise. She expected him to remain for a more in depth talk about his relationship with the daredevil Washout. "Oh, uh, sure! Hey! Why don't you introduce me to Lightning sometime? I would really like to get to know her better." Thunderlane paused at the door, glancing towards the blond with skepticism evident across his face. "Errr, sure? If she's okay with it...is there anything else?" He asked, wishful thoughts of a warm shower and a comfy bed dancing inside his mind. "Nope! See you tomorrow then! I will schedule your appointment for the next month, since you won't be available for some time." She informed while flipping her mane with one wing. A gesture that alerted Thunderlane for possible mischievous plotting. Wait....how does she know about... "I don't recall saying I was going on vacation from weather duty." He replied, a hint of accusation laced into his word. Kicker snorted. "Well, you've been in the grinder this month. Even if you wouldn't I wanted to offer you the choice anyway. We don't have anything big for this next month. Besides, you haven't gone on vacation for years. You kinda earn that stuff, so why don't you use it?" "Never felt like it. I really like my job, and being in the Wonderbolts didn't took away that much from me." He replied with honesty. Having two jobs wasn't as bad as he once feared. "Well, I guess you can manage it easily than Rainbow does. Ever since she started working at the school I had to chase after her so she would quit the weather duty for once. I won't have ponies that don't show up getting reserved seats in here." Kicker sounded upset, probably because she hoped Dash would remain at the team. "By the way, I'm glad you didn't went for some bullshit job and stayed with us." "Huh, you're welcome?" Thunderlane replied distractedly. "How come Rainbow works in a school again?" Kicker let out a hearty laugh at that question. "It's the thing that makes me smile every time I think about it." The blonde replied, an satisfied smirk on her face. "I can only feel gleefully avenged at thinking how Twilight suffers with Rainbow as a teacher in her school. Those poor 'uneducated' souls trapped there with her, screaming on the inside for death to come and release them from their suffering." "...." "What?" Kicker asked, noticing the stare from the stallion. "Byeeeee Kicker." Thunderlane said before closing the door. Kicker huffed. "You're no fun." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Urgh, mah hindah is jiggery real bad. All thes paper for sum shiny makes me stiff as plank." "Is part of the income. We know about this, we work with this stuff for a reason, how else would the Wonderbolts make money?" Rolling Thunder rolled her eyes at Dust's reply. The purple mare was well aware that signing posters was a huge deal for them getting financials, but it never meant she liked carrying tons of posters everywhere. "Whatevah, ah nevah really cared much about the fan plight. I'm a flyer, and that's all it gotta be to me." "Yeah, yeah. I feel ya. Why don't ya go help Shorty with the staff? I gotta check on something." Lightning replied, her eyes were following a small dark mass that flying above their current ground, descending rapidly into the town center. "Gonna check on yer coltfriend?" Rolling asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. She always did that expression every time she referred to Thunderlane and it irked Dust to no end. "First of all, fuck you. And second of all, none of your business." She replied fervently, already aware of the increasing heat on her face Rolling laughed at her before flying off to join her teammate. Lightning couldn't help but wonder what exactly Rolling's family must be like, hopefully not all the same like her weird demeanor and sense of humour. Lightning pushed these thoughts aside as she went off of the ground in chase after that dark mass, already aware of where he might have gone to. But she immediately halted as she spotted a familiar rainbow streak across the sky nearby. 'Fucking great, of all the times.' Lightning thought bitterly, watching with apprehension as Rainbow's colorful streak kept zooming around nonstop. 'Nevermind this. I will talk with Thunder tomorrow. I can at least wait that much.' The turquoise mare descended slowly, returning towards the arena where the show would take place, feeling extremely annoyed that Rainbow managed to frustrate her encounter just with her mere presence. 'At least after the show tomorrow I won't have to worry again about her dumb face around anymore.'