//------------------------------// // The Tikhana // Story: The Moaning Top Incident // by Visiden Visidane //------------------------------// Imperial policy on interracial breeding is a rather complicated matter. It is perfectly allowable for for constrictors, viprens, and cobrahns to intermarry and interbreed. Coatls, of course, will only pair-bond with other coatls, this is both racial preference and imperial law. This is despite the fact that coatls will hatch from the eggs of any ophidite couple seemingly at random. The cobrahn scholar, Ifaszen, compared it to the transformation of wolven pups into brachyurii when certain conditions occur. It should be noted that I do not agree with this theory, and that Ifaszen was put to death by the orders of multiple coatls shortly after. Sexual relations with non-ophidites, especially slaves, is illegal. Offenders are fined heavily, jailed, and required to report to the Imperial Registry for Deviants, where their crime is assessed and their degeneracy is given proper rating. Such instances often occur with ponies. For some reason, some ophidites find ponies "cute" and "beautiful" or even sexually attractive. This may be aided by the fact that ponies are not giant bears and are significantly more hygienic and refined than wolven. However, this is done despite absolutely no viability for offspring, and that ponies are completely alien in appearance with no similarities with ophidites whatsoever. One can only conclude that any ophidite attracted to ponies is a disgusting pervert to be rightly ostracized from the Empire at large. The case involving dragons, specifically lust dragons, is a different matter. It has been observed that dragons can produce viable offspring with cobrahns which we call tikhanas. Deliberately mating with dragons is still highly frowned upon among the cobrahns, and is still considered illegal throughout the Empire. However, the offspring themselves are regarded with great curiosity rather than shunned and destroyed. The likelihood of a tikhana being born and surviving to adulthood is extremely slim due to interference from both the Empire's and the dragons' sides. While other dragon types are properly disgusted by the behavior of lust dragons, they have accepted that such things are simply in the nature of lust dragons in general. The notion of offspring, however, is something they, in particular the pride dragons, will not stomach. It has been observed that since tikhanas are partially dragons, other dragons have an incredible gift for sniffing them out even miles away. Pride, envy, greed, and gluttony dragons will attempt to destroy a tikhana when they discover one. Wrath, sloth, and lust dragons are less inclined. The Empire, on the other hand, has no desire to simply destroy tikhanas, but ophidite curiosity is often best satisfied by experimentation. Tikhanas often learn to never trust fellow cobrahns and especially not the coatls. Attempts have also been made to integrate tikhanas into the Imperial Armed Forces, but with very little result. Tikhanas have inherited a great deal of useful traits from their dragon parent in the form of tremendous size, wings, a resistance to fire, and unique abilities depending on the type of dragon their dragon blood eventually emulates. Unfortunately, tikhanas also inherit undesirable dragon traits such as intense isolationism, the desire to hoard wealth, and a strong resistance to authority. Every attempt to get them in line has only resulted in rebellion or escape. The tikhanas that choose to fight the Empire have all been killed whenever a case happens. Those who escape must be hunted down. The Empire will not tolerate even a small possibility that our neighboring nations might benefit from their power. It has been a worry that tikhanas may start allying with kirins, which are the offspring of dragons and unicorns, but the single encounter observed between these two hybrids ended in violence, with both suffering fatal injuries. Many cobrahns have already theorized that tikhanas and kirins naturally despise each other for their similarities. My personal recommendation regarding the issue of tikhanas is, first of all, to discourage their creation to begin with. It is not right that a citizen should subject themselves to such perversion or to force a particularly violent and lonely fate upon a creature that might have been a proper cobrahn if its parents had not deviated so badly. We, as the Empire, might eventually grow to accept tikhanas, but they will always be hunted down by dragons, and harboring them in Ophidus will only result in increased dragon attacks. As for already existing tikhanas, leaving them be is out of the question, so the available steps already being taken will have to suffice until these unfortunate creatures stop coming into being. Excerpt from the notes of Nifiszen, Cobrahn Scholar for the Nazcatanian Library. What was it about these ponies that made them stink so much? It was the question that constantly flashed in Safaszan's mind. These...creatures looked so scruffy and disheveled. It was all that hair. Shovel upon shovel of dirt could be trapped in that hair with all of its grease and tangles. Their lips and eyes were so moist and their tongues so big and slimy. It was a wonder how they could walk upright rather than just flopping and sloshing everywhere. Taking on their form made her want to bathe in fire. Taking on a pony name, and forcing herself to interact with them as if they were equals mortified her to no end. This had to end at some point, and it should end with all these animals dead. "I didn't expect a visit, Sassy," Spared Rod said. "I thought that the next time we meet would be during the festival with my special goods." Safaszan indulged another fantasy as she looked at the head of the Moonlight Rondo. It was better than looking at this disgusting tent with its food scraps and heavy clouds of burned herbs. Worst of all was the sight of inebriated and befuddled ponies lying about. They looked like garbage in every sense of the word; just casually strewn about by their careless owners. Spared Rod's head looked so small and so soft. It would fit perfectly in her palm. She could grasp that head of his and squeeze...and squeeze... "The situation has changed a bit, Spared Rod," Safaszan replied in Sassy Saffron's soft, irritatingly cheery voice. "I understand that it is quite late into the deal, but I think these developments require some renegotiation." A frown creased Spared Rod's face. Safaszan actually preferred that. That dazed, sleepy grin he usually wore gave him an air of arrogance. He was nothing before her, but the sight of such relaxation and carelessness was insulting. She was tikhana; all by herself, she could lay waste to this encampment of trash. It wouldn't be hard. He should fear her, and she could make him if she didn't need other things. "I don't understand," Spared Rod said coyly. "Twenty-five thousand a head is already quite plenty. I understand that you may be proud of your goods, but this is easily reaching the heights of greed." "The Legion has come to your festival," Safaszan said. "Their presence will make delivery more complicated than necessary." "The Legion's presence was already taken into account during our previous meeting," Spared Rod replied. "This is why delivery will be during the festival. They should be nice and distracted. A few might even participate. It has happened quite a few times." "There are more than what I am comfortable with," Safaszan replied. "There is an inquisitor as well and a number of unicorns that might expose me. I believe that such added danger deserves added compensation." Spared Rod leaned forward, his snout wrinkling into an unpleasant smirk. "Is the mighty Safaszan that frightened of the Legion?" he asked. Safaszan smiled, revealing a few of her pony form's upper teeth. It was hardly the most frightening sight, but the message should still be enough. "Are you suggesting that I go on and kill these Legion nuisances? I could, you know, but that might not be the best thing to happen to your precious festival. Such deaths will ensure that you go under even harsher investigations. It would be the end of your Rondo should that happen." "The end of you as well," Spared Rod said. "Where would you go, Safaszan?" he asked softly. "Equestria is not teeming with customers for your "merchandise". Maybe you'll try Ursinium or Wolvengard to sell them as light snacks?" "Why not?" Safaszan asked. Her chest was heating up with rising fire. Her muscles tensed, and her stomach rumbled. She had been surviving on small woodland creatures for a while now; some squirrels here, some sparrows there, and even rats. A nice, succulent pony steak, inch-thick, sizzling with butter, generously sprinkled with salt and pepper, and a side of garlic-infused mashed potatoes sounded so good right about now. It was all she could do to maintain the illusion. "I'm selling them to you as light snacks anyway." "Are you really going to make this so much harder, Sa—“ "Have a care with your little slips of the tongue," Safaszan hissed. "Prod the snake, and you'll get the fangs." Spared Rod sighed. "With all these price increases, Sassy, you're going to make it more profitable just reporting you to the Legion." "You will go down with me for certain," Safaszan said. "Enough idle threats, Spared Rod, you're not going to magically become a loyal Equestrian citizen any more than I will turn into a loyal Imperial citizen. I want thirty thousand a head or I'm leaving. I'm sure I'll find other perverts somewhere in Equestria that haven't made such a reputation for themselves." "Not with my resources," Spared Rod said. "Twenty six thousand." "Twenty eight," Safaszan countered. "Fine." Spared Rod took in a long hit from the rolled up herbs he was smoking. "Is that all you came here?" he asked with a puff of foul-smelling smoke accompanying every word. "How very formal for one with of your nature." Safaszan smiled and stood up. "I enjoy a good bit of revelry myself, Spared Rod, just not with disgusting creatures such as yourself." She stepped over a drunk pony on her way out.