Rain began to pour from the sky. Fluttershy pulled her coat closer to her body, feeling regretful since her dusty old coat wasn't made with waterproof material. She couldn't go home since she knew her father would be absolutely furious for her coming home rather than being out to make more money for him to spend with his drunken lackies.
Fluttershy's coat stuck to her body, causing her to shiver. The street began to clear as ponies sought shelter or another form of transportation that didn't include being stuck in the rain.
A pair of ponies from the upper class passed Fluttershy's flower stand and didn't pay attention to the miserable pegasus. The mare looked fairly annoyed, her fur coat soaked almost to the point of no repair.
"This rain is ruining my mane!" the mare exclaimed in a shrill voice. "Blueblood, don't just stand there, get us a taxi!"
"Alright, I'll get one." The stallion, Blueblood, rolled his eyes.
He didn't complain since he understood how the mare felt since he, too, was sick of walking in the rain. Blueblood walked to the curb mindlessly and didn't pay attention where he was walking. Suddenly, Blueblood knocked into Fluttershy's flower stand, causing two bundles of flowers to fall to the ground.
"Why the devil is the flower stand sitting on the curb?" Blueblood exclaimed. He looked up and made eye contact with Fluttershy, realizing the flowers belonged to her.
"Please, sir, watch where yer goin'," Fluttershy sighed. She didn't sound angry, but deflated.
Blueblood knew that she was just a flower filly, but he had a reputation to maintain with the public.
"I'm terribly sorry, miss," Blueblood apologized with fake kindness.
"Two bundles of violets trod in the mud," Fluttershy whimpered. "A full day's worth of bits."
Blueblood opened his mouth to speak, but he was interrupted by an angry Fleur.
"Blueblood, find a cab already," the mare hissed through grit teeth.
"Alright, Fleur," Blueblood replied, annoyed. He strutted away.
"Um, are either one of you going to pay?" Fluttershy asked quietly.
"Oh, go about your business, little filly," Fleur huffed as she rolled her eyes.
Fluttershy's ears went flat on her head and her shoulders slumped. Those were some of her best flowers. Those and roses sold the best from her stand. She knew anypony decent wouldn't run off without paying for a poor girl's spoiled flowers. She didn't argue since the ponies from the upper class most likely wouldn't listen.
"Good heavens!" exclaimed a white unicorn stallion passing by, opening his umbrella.
"Sir, is there any sign of it stopping?" Fleur whined.
"I'm afraid not. It is worse than before," the stallion announced, using his magic to wipe his eyeglass on his suit.
"Oh dear," murmured Fluttershy. She wouldn't get any business if it was raining so much ponies wouldn't want to be out and about. Fluttershy took a moment to consider the unicorn stallion in front of her. He was obviously a unicorn of high status since he had a well-styled royal blue mane and mustache, along with a fancy suit. Maybe he would be able to buy some flowers from Fluttershy out of pity. "If it's worse, it's a sign of it almost being over. Cheer up, cap'n. Buy a flow'r off a poor filly?" Her voice started out confident, but her voice was barely a whisper by the end. It certainely was a lot harder to be a confident business-mare than others made it seem.
"I'm terribly sorry, but I don't have any change," the unicorn said with a look of pity.
"Ah can change ya half a crown," Fluttershy said desperately.
"I told you, I'm awfully sorry but..." the unicorn dug through his pockets. "Oh wait, yes, here's three ha'bits, if that's any use for you."
"Thank ya kindly, sir," said Fluttershy happily, taking the bits in her hoof, inspecting them cheerfully.
A stallion wearing a trenchcoat trotted over to the stand, giving Fluttershy a concerned stare.
"You best be careful and give 'em a flower for that. There's a bloke behind that pillar takin' down every word you're sayin'," with that, the stallion trotted away.
Fluttershy felt nervous and glanced over at the pillar, immediately believing it to be a police pony.
"Um, Ah ain't done nothin' wrong by speakin' to a gentleman," Fluttershy said quietly to whoever was behind the pillar. "Ah'm a respectable mare. Ah only spoke to 'im to ask him to buy a flower off of me."
A few ponies nearby came over to see what the commotion was about.
"Oh, don't start," an old stallion snapped at Fluttershy. Her cheeks flushed from embarrassment.
"What's all the noise?" asked the mare standing next to the stallion.
"There's a tec taking down all of her words," another stallion said.
"S-Sir, d-don't let 'im ch-charge me," Fluttershy stammered. "Th-They'll take away me character and drive me o-onto the s-streets for t-talking to a gentleman."
When she was done speaking, a stallion came out from behind the pillar. He wore a pressed black suit and a matching top hat. His gray fur shone and his white goatee was trimmed to perfection. Her eyes locked onto his horn, which was bright blue. She wondered why it was that color, but it was no time to ask silly questions such as that. She bit her lip nervously, preparing a speech on how she didn't do anything wrong.
"There, there, who's hurting you, silly filly?" Discord asked in a taunting tone. "What do you take me for?"
"On me Bible oath, Ah never said a word to 'im," Fluttershy said quickly and quietly. She looked down at the ground nervously, unable to keep eye contact with this stallion.
"Shut up, shut up. Do I look like a police pony?" Discord smirked.
Fluttershy felt relieved. As soon as that relief came, she felt confused.
"If yer not a police pony, why did ya take me words down, if ya don't mind me askin'," Fluttershy said. "May Ah see what ya wrote about me?"
Discord gave her a smug grin and pulled out the notebook from under his hat, flipping through a few pages before showing Fluttershy the page he wrote about her. She squinted at the notebook, unable to read the chaotic handwriting. It looked like every word was written by a different pony since none of the letters matched letters from other words. Fluttershy had a headache from trying to read it.
"Ah'm sorry, but Ah can't read it," Fluttershy murmured, hoping she didn't sound rude.
"I can," Discord said in a sing-song voice. He started to terribly mimic her voice. "'Ah say, cap'n now buy a flor off a poor filly.'" Fluttershy's face turned bright red as she realized how ridiculous she sounded to other ponies.
"Is it because Ah called 'im cap'n? Ah meant no harm," Fluttershy tapped her front hooves together nervously. She turned to the unicorn. "Please don't let 'im press charges against me for that."
The unicorn nodded at Fluttershy and took a step towards the stallion.
"I wouldn't dream of it," the unicorn said. He turned to Discord. "If you're really a detective, you don't need to protect me from young mares until I say so. She obviously didn't mean any harm."
"He ain't no tec. He's a gentleman. Look at his boots," one of the ponies in the crowd pointed out. Discord turned to the pony.
"How are your ponies down in Selsey," Discord asked, his voice dripping with false kindness.
"How did you know my ponies were from Selsey?" the pony asked suspiciously.
"Nevermind," Discord huffed, before turning his gaze back to Fluttershy. "How did you come to be so far up east? You were born in Lisson Grove."
"There isn't any 'arm that Ah left Lisson Grove," Fluttershy replied, feeling slightly offended. "It weren't fit for anypony to live in, and Ah had to pay four 'n six a week." She shuddered at the memory. This was before she lived out in the country. Her early fillyhood was spent in the horrible place.
"But you fit so well with all of those dirty ponies there," Discord said. Fluttershy's eyes welled up with tears and she started to cry. Discord frowned, though he believed what he said, he hated it when mares cried.
"Come on now, he can't touch you," the unicorn said softly, patting Fluttershy's back. "You may live where you please."
"Ah'm a good filly, Ah am," Fluttershy murmured.
"Yes, of course," the unicorn said to comfort her.
Another stallion rushed over, his attention on Discord.
"If you really know where ponies come from, where do I come from?" the stallion questioned.
"Oxton," Discord replied with a bored expression, as if the decision wasn't hard.
"Well, who said I didn't," the stallion shrugged. "Blimey, you know everything, you do!"
The unicorn looked on the scene with interest. He couldn't deny that this stallion had some sort of talent and intelligence in this area.
"You, sir, do you think you could get me a taxi?" Fleur asked, rushing up to Discord.
"I don't know if you noticed, but it stopped raining," Discord snapped, annoyed that he was interrupted by this mare. "You can get a Motor Bus to Hampton Courts. That's where you live, is it not?" Fleur scowled at him, while Blueblood was suppressing a chuckle in the background.
"Such impertenance," she groaned, turning away and sticking her nose in the air.
The same stallion that warned Fluttershy about Discord writing down her words appeared, gesturing to the unicorn.
"If you're so good at knowing where ponies come from because of their accents, where does he come from?" he asked.
"Cheltingham, Harrow, Cambridge, and uh, India," Discord replied slowly, taking a moment to think.
"Quite right," the unicorn said, tapping his chin with his hoof in interest.
"Blimey, he isn't a tec, he's a blooming busybody," somepony from the crowd said in awe. Discord smirked and posed.
"I say, how do you do it?" the unicorn asked.
"Simple phonetics," Discord said simply. "That's my profession, and also my hobby. Anypony can place an Irishpony or a Yorkshire pony by his brogue, but I can place somepony by six miles. Even two. Sometimes even two blocks."
"Is there a living in that?" questioned the unicorn, his jaw dropped at Discord's answer.
"A fat one," Discord grinned. He noticed Fluttershy's stare. "Mare, keep your eyes off of me. Go seek the shelter of some other place of worship." Fluttershy scowled, her earlier shyness forgotten.
"Ah have a right to be 'ere if Ah like, same as you," Fluttershy retorted.
"A mare who utters such disgusting and depressing noises has no right to be anywhere," Discord laughed at his own words. Fluttershy's jaw dropped, her confidence once again gone. "This is what the Ponish call an elementary education."
"I say, sir, I think that is a poor comparison," the unicorn argued, stepping in front of the mare subject to Discord's verbal abuse.
"They're everywhere, dropping H's and speaking the Ponish language any way they please," Discord sighed. He turned to one of the ponies. "Sir, have you gone to school." The stallion glared at him.
"What do you take me for, a fool?" the stallion answered.
"No one taught him 'take' instead of 'tike'," Discord said. "I'd rather hear chickens in a barn." Fluttershy grit her teeth, unable the foreign feeling of anger she never felt before.
"Go-on," Fluttershy tried to say calmly, but it came out sounding like she had said 'garn'. She winced as she knew what was to come.
"'Garn'?" Discord wrote the word in his notebook. Fluttershy stared at the notebook with pure loathing. "I ask you, sir, what kind of word is that? It's the 'ow' and 'garn' and other words like that she says that keeps her so low in society, rather than her dirty clothes and face."
"I wouldn't go that far," the unicorn sighed, his words unheard.
"The way a Ponishstallion talks defines him, whether he makes his fellow Ponishstallions despise him or respect him by how he speaks. The Ponish language is butchered. An Irish or Scottish pony will make your ears want to scream. In A-mare-ica, they haven't used it in years. Now, why can't the Ponish teach their foals how to speak? The Norwhinny learn Norwhinnian, the Grace teach their Grace. In Prance, every Prench stallion knows his language A to Zed." Discord paused his speech as he pulled his goatee in thought. "The Prench actually don't care what they do, as long as they pronounce it correctly. You see this creature with her curb stone Ponish? In six months I could pass her off as a duchess at the Grand Galloping Gala."
The unicorn laughed at his words, not able to believe somepony could change another pony's life so drastically from just their voice.
"I could even get her a job as a mare's maid or a shop's assistant, which requires better Ponish," Discord gloated. Fluttershy's eyes widened at what he said.
"What's that you say?" Fluttershy asked, feeling hope for the first time in years.
"Yes, you squashed cabbage leaf, you disgrace to the noble architechture to these columns, you incarnate insult to the Ponish language. I could pass you off as the Queen of Neighba," he smiled.
"Ow, ya don't believe that, cap'n?" Fluttershy said, her voice slightly raised.
"Anything's possible. I'm a student of Indian dialects myself," the unicorn admitted.
"Are you? Do you know Colonel Fancy Pants, the author of spoken Sanskrit?" Discord questioned, his eyes shining like a colt given a lollipop.
"I am Colonel Fancy Pants. And who might you be?" the unicorn asked. Fluttershy tilted her head at the introduction. The name certainely suited him.
"Professor Discord Higgens, the author of 'Higgins Universal Alphabet," Discord said proudly. Fancy Pants' eyes widened.
"I came from India to admit you," Fancy Pants gasped.
"I was going to India to meet you!" Discord exclaimed.
"Discord!"
"Fancy Pants!"
Discord and Fancy Pants shook hooves. Fluttershy suddenly felt out of place as she was forgotten by the two stallions. She preferred to be ignored rather than insulted by Discord for no particular reason.
"Where are you staying?" Discord asked Fancy Pants.
"At the Carlton," Fancy Pants replied. He pointed at a fancy hotel across the street.
"No you're not," Discord said with a straight face. "You're staying at 27A Whinnypole Street. Come, and we'll have a good talk over dinner."
"Right you are," Fancy Pants replied with a smile.
"Indian dialects always fascinated me," Discord admitted. Fluttershy looked in her coin basket and noticed she hadn't made much, so she thought she had nothing to lose if she said one more thing.
"Buy a flower, kind sir. I'm short for me lodgings," Fluttershy said softly, trying to make her most sad face. Discord scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"Liar. You said you could change half a crown," Discord reminded.
"Take the whole blooming basket for sixbits," Fluttershy huffed, putting the basket in front of Discord.
"A reminder," Discord said, pouring a hoof-full of bits into the basket, much more than what she asked for. "Keep the flowers." Fluttershy opened her mouth to protest so he can take the flowers, but he was already walking away with Colonel Fancy Pants. She listened to them until they were out of sight.
"How many are there exactly?" Discord asked.
"How many what?" Fancy Pants raised an eyebrow.
"Indian dialects?"
"No fewer than a hundred forty-seven distinct languages are recorded as vernacular in India," Fancy Pants replied as they turned the corner. Fluttershy walked them.
"Ow," she muttered as she remembered Discord's cruel words, but then looked in the basket, feeling satisfied with the massive amount of coins in the basket. "Ah..."
She had to admit, even though he was rude towards her, he must have had some good in him to give her that many bits without taking the flowers.