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// 19 - Don't Get Sassy 
// Story: Lost Muse 
// by David Silver 
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Sassy brightened on seeing Color, trotting towards him. "Look who's back, and with a ladyfriend." Her eyes slid towards Libelous with an equal smile. "You look like you hardly need my assistance."

Libel softly nodded, accepting the compliment. "Canterlot is my home, and not knowing its fashion is a good way to lose points." She pointed at Color. "Speaking of that, I like the suit you suggested for him, but I want more, and better. Assume price is no object, what would you suggest?"

Sassy reared back a step, blinking softly. "No object?"

"Never mention it again." She waved away the very idea of price tags. "But deal fairly. A good review could be on the line."

"Of course, Miss Word." She dipped her head. "You have friends."

Color smiled awkwardly at the last part that was aimed at him. "She's, uh, who I bought the first suit for."

Sassy got a wicked smile. "Is that so? I can see why you thought you--"

"--That's quite enough of that." Libel waved a wing with a snort. "Focus. We want him to look like an artist, one with their hooves on the ground. One that is here to capture the scene, control it, and be the focus of it."

Sassy tapped at her chin thoughtfully a moment. "Miss Rarity has a new piece, still quite fresh indeed." She turned and her long horn glowed as she grabbed a suit from a rack across the room and brought it over swiftly. "It's called the 'Shining Armor'. A pun, if you can forgive it." She snorted, seemingly amused by it.

It looked like armor, with a fabric shirt and pants and more padded looking bits on top of it. It featured white and blues that would make one reminiscent of Shining Armor. "It even comes with a helmet." She brought over the white helmet with a faux mane of blues. "The mane is detachable." She yanked it right off, revealing space for one's own natural mane to come through.

Color circled around it, looking at it with an intense curiosity. Libel was far less interested. "Pass. We don't want him to broadcast 'I'm a tough pony'. He's not a guardian or a fighter. Artist. Art. Next."

He mourned its passing as it flew back onto the rack it had come from, but a new suit sprung out to replace it. "This one is called 'Thoughtful Pause.'" Sassy waved at the clothing. It had the lines of a tuxedo as a base, but many of its edges were just a little curved. Its colors went from bright red to a soft blue towards the bottom in a spectrum. "For the intellectual that needs freedom of movement."

"Closer..." Libel waved it away. "Keep going. You're on the right path."

Color made a sad noise as the next suit vanished. "I thought that was kinda nice..."

"Kinda nice isn't enough." Libel rolled a hoof at Sassy. "Do continue."

Sassy nodded softly at Libel, seeming to understand who was the one calling the shots, and paying the bills. "A touch on the nose, as it were, this one is called 'Lucky Accident'." Over came a suit that was a riot of colors, as if someone had splattered it with many paint cans without mercy. "Stitched meticulously out of top-quality fabric, you'll find despite its appearance, this is a top of the line suit that will stand up to the closest examination."

Libel didn't reject it immediately. She tapped at her chin thoughtfully.

Color snorted and hopped in place. "No."

Libel waved a hoof gently at it. "Maybe..."

"No!" He pointed at it. "No. Bring back the second one."

Libel's expression darkened into a frown. "Excuse me?"

Color put a hoof to his chest. "I liked the second one. This one's... just a mess. It speaks to me of an artist that has no idea what they're doing. I like the second one."

Sassy didn't join in the argument, seeing no way to add her thoughts without alienating one pony or the other. She just smiled and waited.

Libel pointed at the riot of colors in front of them. "This one screams artist."

"An incompetent one," huffed out Color. "I'm not an abstract artist, or a new age one, or anything this would go with. No. Second one!"

Sassy brought the second one just beside the third, both hovering there in her magic. "I can have either, or both, tailored if you wish and ready to go?"

Libel huffed softly. "Right, fine. Tailor them both and get them ready to go." She turned away with a scowl. "You don't know Canterlot, Color."

"No..." He walked up beside her on light hooves. "But I do know artists, and myself. I can see myself in the second one. I'll do whatever you want me to do, but I know me. Can you trust me, a little?"

Sassy wandered off with both, quite happy to sell both suits. Left alone, Libel turned back to him. "I'll see both on you and we'll make a decision." She rolled her eyes. "Then you'll see I was right."

"And if you're wrong?"

"I won't be!" She let out a slow breath. "But, for sake of argument, let's say I am wrong... Then I'll do you a favor."

He blinked softly. "You're already doing me a huge favor, Libel... Please don't ever think I don't see that."

She pressed a hoof to his face. "I'm lending time and money. Those are things, certainly, but not entirely unreasonable. When I offer a favor, it's more than that. Think on it, then know you won't get it." She turned away. "Really..." As if her hodunk foalhood friend had any idea about the basics of fashion...

"To be fair." He raised a hoof with a little smile. "We should have somepony else judge. We're both way too invested to make the final call."

"That's reasonable." She smiled brightly, the anger vanishing. "We'll have Bottom Line, my secretary, decide. We won't tell her who picked each one, or even that there's anything on the line. She'll pick one, and that will be that. Now... about when you lose..."

He gulped gently, ears pinning back a moment before coming back up. "Well, fair is fair. How about a favor for a favor?"

"Hmm..." She raised a brow. "Yes, I can think of a favor I'd want from you. Deal." She offered a hoof.

He met it with a loud clop, then a bag draped right over the two. It had the two suits folded up nicely inside. Sassy was smiling happily just a few feet away. "Will that be all, or can I help you further?"

As Color took hold of the bag in his magic, Libel produced the silken bag of bits and offered it towards Sassy. "Here you are."

Sassy's horn glowed as the price of the suits floated out of the bag, then a few coins drifted back inside. "A little group discount for taking both of them together."

Color's eyes were wide at the amount of coins involved, knowing each was a sizable 100-bit. So many had come out! So many had gone back in! They were dealing with a year's income as if it was a trifling.

"Don't look like that." Libel popped his hanging jaw back up into place. "It's not professional, and that's where we need you to be."

"Right, professional." He tucked the bag behind himself and nodded towards Sassy. "It was a pleasure seeing you again."

"You too. We'll put a pin in this visit, but do come back again." She waved gently at the both of them. "After your friend makes you the talk of the city. Won't that be exciting? I'm already looking forward to it."

Libel beamed at that. "There's a mare that knows what's going on. You keep up the good work, Miss Saddles." Not her type, too long and skinny, but she gave it a B+. She trotted out with Color trailing behind. "Shall we proceed to the judgment? Miss Line should still be at the office. Whether I'm there or not, she stays until 5 pm, unless we're working overtime."

Color hurried to be at her side,  bag floating along with him. "We could do that, but is this enough, you know, to be professional? I'll do my best, promise, but I'm still... me, you know?"

"I do know." She put a wing around him, holding him close as they walked. "But you have me. We're going to start drilling some basic rules in how you talk to ponies. Who to defer to, who you should expect to be deferred to. How to do both without being a snob or pushover. It's a fine act, let me tell you, Splashy. I hated it when I first came here."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course, I was taught in a classroom by teachers that didn't have time for me, personally. You get personal tutoring. Be grateful."

"I am!" he hurriedly assured. "Really, I am..." Being pressed against Libel was a nice side effect. "So what's the first step?"

"Knowing your place." She released him. "Right now, you are low." She raised a hoof barely off the ground as she walked on the other three. "A hopeful. You have your eyes set much higher, but you aren't there. If you act like you are already there, you'll either be taken as brave, or stupid, or just rude. Hoping for the first is rarely a good idea."

Color nodded, watching and listening intently. "Alright... Let me try. I mean, let me see if I have this. So... Assume I am low. I should be thankful for you."

"Of course."

"More than that, I mean, for taking your more valuable time for my less valuable time. Thank you for taking today for me."

"You're welcome." She patted his back with a wing. "Just like that, yes, for a start. You should always be grateful when you get valuable time and effort. Now, what about the other way around? You're at a nice place, and the waitstaff approaches. Are they higher, or lower?"

Color frowned at that. "Well, um, I'm low, right? So they're higher?"

She gently bopped him on the nose. "Not an unreasonable guess, but wrong. Unless it is a topic specific to the place you're in, you are the highest thing there to them outside of their boss. You are paying for their submission. Don't make that awkward, of course. Be polite, friendly even, but know that, at least while you eat and enjoy, you are their ruler and they will work for you."

Color made an almost soundless 'ah', trying to internalize what he was being told. "Because I'm a customer. Right... If your customer bows and grovels, that just makes it awkward for everypony involved."

"Precisely." She smiled as she walked along. "You're getting this. I knew you were a smart pony, Splashy. The only time you would be lower than waitstaff while eating is if the meal is being given out of charity. We'll avoid that situation. So let's roleplay a little... You're with a pony that is interested in your art. She suggests a nice place to get a nibble to eat and talk about your piece."

"Sounds good!" He skipped a step, imagining the good event. "So I'd defer to her, since she's higher, and we go where she wants to go. I'd ask her what she suggests, to eat."

Libel raised a hoof higher. "Aw, they're down to only one of her favorite. You can't both order it."

Color squeaked, but frowned almost immediately. "I'd ask her if she'd like me to try some anyway. She probably has a lot of chances to try it, and seeing me try it may be what she wants."

Her hoof came down into a standard walk. "The potential client laughs it off and orders something else. 'I'll get that next time. Now tell me about your art.' Before you can speak, the waitress returns, oops! She splashed some wine right on your new suit! What do you do?"