//------------------------------//
// Chapter 7: A Fowl Day 
// Story: The Inane Adventures of Hazelnut Latte 
// by Porcelain Mug 
//------------------------------//

Pinkie Pie bounced down the road, managing to keep up with her companion's longer strides. The pink earth pony, in her typical, chipper voice, asked, "Are we going to visit someone?"

In a voice that was as calm as usual, Big Mac replied, "Eeyup."

"Is it a friend?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Eeyup." Big Mac said, continuing to be calm.

"An old friend?" Pinkie Pie inquired.

"Eeyup." Big Mac answered.

Pinkie Pie, continued the inquiry. "A female friend?"

"Eeyup."

Pinkie Pie, never once ceasing in her bouncing, raised a brow and said, "A marefriend?"

"A-nope." Big Mac replied.

"What's she like?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"She's nice." Big Mac said. 

As always, Big Mac was a stallion of few words. "What's her name?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Lady Garden." Big Mac said nonchalantly.

Pinkie Pie snickered. Big Mac frowned and turned his head to look at the pink mare. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing." Pinkie Pie giggled. 

Big Mac gave her a suspicious look before returning his attention to the direction in which they were heading. Before long, they saw a big, elegant house off in the distance. It could almost be described as a mansion. There was a sign on the road that turned off to lead to it. The sign read, 'Flicker Family Banana Plantation'.

"Is this it?" Pinkie Pie asked. "Are we there yet?"

Big Mac smiled sadly at the building and said, "Eeyup."

Pinkie Pie glanced at the large rooster that was riding on Big Mac's back. In a voice that wasn't the least bit salacious, the pink mare said, "I've been meaning to ask you, Big Macintosh, why do you have a giant cock?"

Big Mac almost tripped over his own hooves. Had he not been red in color, one might have seen him blush. "Richard likes Lady Garden." the stallion responded awkwardly.

"Oh, okay." Pinkie Pie said with a smile.

The two turned to head down the path to the Flicker mansion. They walked up the stairs to the front porch and headed over to the door. Once they were there, Big Mac knocked on the door. A female voice spoke up. She had an accent similar to the Apples'. "I'm comin'!"

After a minute or so, the door opened, revealing a buttercream-colored earth pony mare with a sky-blue mane and tail. Her cutie mark was a pea blossom. Her eyes were slightly red, as if she had been crying. The blue-maned mare smiled and said, "Well, howdy, Mac!"

"Mornin', Lady Garden." Big Mac smiled back.

Lady Garden seemed to notice Pinkie Pie. "Who's yer friend here, Mac?"

"Hi!" Pinkie Pie said cheerfully. "I'm Pinkie Pie!"

"The Pinkie Pie?" Lady Garden's smiled. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you." She looked at Big Mac, then at Pinkie Pie. "Don't you two just stand there like scarecrows. It's hot outside! Come on in! I got a nice, cold pitcher a' sweet tea."

"Ooh, sweet stuff!" Pinkie pie exclaimed happily. "I like sweet stuff!"

Lady Garden laughed and stepped to the side, allowing the two other ponies into her house. The buttercream mare then closed the door behind them and headed into the kitchen. When all three ponies arrived in the kitchen, Lady Fingers got three glasses out and set them on the table. She then retrieved a pitcher of sweet tea from the refrigerator and proceeded to pour everyone a glass. Satisfied that everyone had been attended to, Lady Garden then said, "I reckon y'all want to know why I asked for the both a' ya."

"Eeyup." Big Mac answered. 

"Why did you ask for both of us?" Pinkie Pie asked.

Lady Garden almost lost it, but managed to choke back the urge to cry again. She swallowed and said, "Ya already know, Mac, but mah pa just died."

"Oh, that's so sad." Pinkie Pie said with a sad frown.

Lady Garden sniffled a bit and wiped her eyes. "Sorry, y'all. I'm tryin' ta keep it together." She looked at Pinkie Pie and said, "They're goin' to bury Pa tomorrow. I wanted to talk ta' ya about the reception." She took a deep, deep breath and said, "Pinkie Pie, I was wonderin' if ya'd plan Pa's reception."

Pinkie Pie gave Lady Garden a sad look and said, "I'm really, really sorry, Lady Garden. I don't really plan sad occasions."

Lady Garden shook her head and said, "No, yer mistaken. Pa didn't like sad things. He was always makin' everypony laugh." She smiled at Pinkie Pie. "I'm askin for yer help because Pa wouldn't want a sad reception. He'd want a happy party where everypony was laughin' and rememberin' how positive, good-natured, and fun Pa was." She turned to Big Mac and said, "You remember what he was like, Mac."

Big Mac nodded and said, "Bean Flicker was always makin' me laugh. Ya would've liked him, Pinkie."

This was not the appropriate time, so Pinkie Pie did not giggle at Lady Garden's late father's name. Lady Garden looked at Richard, who was standing next to Big Mac. The buttermilk mare smiled and said, "I see ya brought Richard."

"He always makes ya smile." Big Mac explained. 

"So you don't want a sad reception with tears and sadness?" Pinkie Pie questioned. "You want a happy party with fun and laughter to remember your dad and the way he was?"

Lady Garden nodded. "Correct."

Pinkie Pie smiled brightly and said, "I'd be happy to plan that party!"

"Wonderful." Lady Garden's smile was genuine this time. 

It was then that everypony noticed that something was amiss. Pinkie Pie was the first to ask. "Wait, where did Richard go?"

Lady Garden sighed and said, "He escaped, didn't he? That rooster's always explorin' the plantation."

"I'll find him." Big Mac promised.

The trio spent a few hours searching for Richard the rooster. They were just about to give up, when Pinkie Pie suddenly heard something. "Do you hear that?" she asked. She looked around and said, "I think it's coming from over there!"

Pinkie Pie, Lady Garden, and Big Mac followed the chicken sounds until they found an outhouse, over which was a sign that read 'The Pooper'. "I think he's in here!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. 

"Eeyup." Big Mac agreed. "Ah'll get him out."

The stallion then attempted to open the outhouse door, but it was stuck. "Darnit." Big Mac grumbled. 

Big Mac tried for several minutes to open the door, with no success. Lady Garden looked around and asked, "Where's Pinkie Pie?"

Big Mac now had two things to worry about and he was about ready to kick down the Pooper. Suddenly, the door to the Pooper opened up and Pinkie Pie stood inside with Richard on her back. "I found him!" the pink mare announced. "It smells awful in there!"

"How'd ya get-" Big Mac shook his head. "Never mind."

Lady Garden walked over and sniffed Pinkie Pie, then Richard. "I don't think they're gonna need a wash." the blue-maned mare anounced. 

"Well, let's not waste time!" Pinkie Pie said happily. "Let's plan that party! I'm going to need somepony's nose when I bake, though. I think being in the Pooper for ten minutes knocked out my sniffer. I can't smell a thing!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Rarity wiped her brow as she worked on embroiding one of her elaborate dresses. She had been working on the elaborately embroided dress and corresponding bolero jacket for the past three days. She was about halfway done and she knew that when she was done, they would be very beautiful. It wasn't something that she'd openly admit, but this was a difficult project. She could handle a detail-oriented project, but ponies rarely commissioned an outfit that was this elaborately embroided. She had to give it to Countess High Born next week, which gave her only two more days to finish it. She had no choice but to spend all of her free time working on the outfit. She could feel her empty stomach protest, but she ignored it. She didn't have time to cook. It would normally be time for lunch, but she would cook a small meal at supper time if she remembered. In the last three days, she only really ate breakfast.

As Rarity finished embroiding a specific panel of fabric, she heard the jingle of a bell as somepony walked into her business. She heard a now-familiar voice call out, "Rarity, are you there?"

Rarity's back cracked as she straightened up from where she was sitting hunched over to keep a close look at the detail of the embroidery. She was still waiting for her new contact lenses to come in the mail, so she had to wear her you-know-whats. They were a pair of Dulce & Cabana designer frames, but they still weren't contact lenses. Still, it would be rude not to answer her visitor. The fashionista stood up and called out, "I'm coming!"

She then headed towards the front of her store, where she saw Hazelnut Latte carrying a lacquered box of some sort. "I brought something for you." the barista said with a smile.

Rarity took the box and opened it. Inside were some cucumber and avocado sushi rolls, a lemon and poppy seed mini cupcake, a couple strawberries, and some vegetables cut into cute shapes. It also came with a pair of chopsticks. "You've been forgetting to eat lately and I've been worrying about you." Hazelnut Latte explained. "I made you something that I used to eat a lot back in San Franciscolt."

Rarity's heart welled up as she smiled at the thoughtful Hazelnut Latte. She had known that things would go well when they decided to become friends. The happy fashionista sat down at a clear table. She used her magic to pick up a sushi roll and lift it to her mouth. She chewed it, swallowed it, and considered how delicious it was. It was then that her body realized how hungry she was. The white unicorn began to gobble down her food in an unladylike fashion before she was interrupted when Hazelnut Latte exclaimed, "Slow down, Rarity! Remember to chew your food!"

Rarity turned red with embarrassment. "Forgive me." she said awkwardly.

"It's not a problem, Rarity." Hazelnut Latte smiled at her friend. "It happens to everypony."

"I suppose so." Rarity smiled. She crinkled her nose and said, "Still, it's very unladylike!"

"I gave upon 'ladylike' ages ago." Hazelnut Latte said with a grin. "Marelike is a better word for me. Last time I used my feminine wiles to get what I want was in high school. There was this colt named Hot Bod. He was always being mean to everypony, especially me. He found out that I'm gay and he told everypony in the entire school about it."

"You must have been mortified!" Rarity gasped.

"Oh, I was." Hazelnut Latte nodded.

"What did you do?" Rarity asked.

Hazelnut Latte shrugged and replied, "I stole his marefriend."

Rarity stared at the brown-coated unicorn, her mouth wide open. She shut her mouth, opened it again, and repeated for a few seconds before it finally hit her and she burst into laughter. "That was horrible!" Rarity giggled.

"It was." Hazelnut Latte grinned. "It was still good revenge, though. We dated until we graduated. We ended up going to different colleges. She went to Coltifornia State University, Maneterey Bay and I went to San Franciscolt State University. We wrote each other letters for a while, but it didn't work out. It was an amicable split."

"You're a lesbian, then." Rarity observed. "Well, that doesn't really matter to me. You're the same pony you've always been and I hope that one day, you find the right mare to be your special somepony."

"I hope so." Hazelnut Latte said. She smiled and added, "I'm 27, so I have plenty of time to find her. Who knows? She could be somepony that I already know."

Rarity started blushing. "Right, of course. Who knows?"

Hazelnut Latte noticed her friend's flush and asked, "Rarity, are you okay? You seem kind of flushed. It is hot outside, I suppose. I could go to Cuppa Joe's and use my employee's discount to get you something to drink. We've recently started selling bubble tea as a summer item."

Rarity nodded. "I could take a break to get something to drink." she admitted. 

"Well, let's go, then." Hazelnut Latte said with a grin.

The two mares then headed off to Cuppa Joe's to get something to drink. 

oooooooooooooooo

When Rarity and Hazelnut Latte arrived, they saw that Lemongrass was working. When the two unicorns arrived at the counter, the yellow mare smiled and said, "Welcome to Cuppa Joe's! What can I get you?"

"Bubble tea, please." Hazelnut Latte. 

"Original or pomegranate?" Lemongrass asked.

"I'll have the pomegranate." Rarity said. 

Hazelnut Latte nodded before turning her attention back to Lemongrass. "Pomegranate for her, original for me."

Lemongrass nodded and asked, "Would you like to use your employee discount?"

"Yes." Hazelnut Latte replied. 

Lemongrass smiled and said, "Your drinks will be ready in a few minutes. Feel free to sit down."

Hazelnut Latte and Rarity both selected a booth to sit down at. "So, what sort of project are you working on, if I may ask?" the brown unicorn inquired.

"It's a very complicated dress." Rarity admitted. "I have two more days to complete it. I have to present it on Tuesday. I'll be able to finish it by then, but I'll be pushing the deadline."

"Well," Hazelnut Latte said, "I'll just make sure to bring you something to eat when my shift is over."

Rarity smiled brightly at her friend. "You're the absolute best, you know that?" the fashionista said to her friend.

"So I've been told." Hazelnut Latte smiled back. 

They heard Lemongrass call that their drinks were ready. Hazelnut Latte went up to pay for the drinks before returning to the table with them. Rarity read the names written on the cups. "Elusive and Coconut Latte?"

Hazelnut Latte shrugged. "Cuppa Joe's business regulations state that employees must get at least one in three customers' names wrong when serving drinks that come in these sorts of cups."

Rarity frowned. "That's absolutely ridiculous. You know that, right?"

"I didn't make the rules." Hazelnut Latte said simply. She then smiled mischievously and added, "Besides, sometimes it's fun to mess with ponies."

Rarity rolled her eyes and said, "You're the worst, Hazelnut Latte!"

Hazelnut Latte grinned and said, "Yes. I'm completely evil- the destroyer of worlds, even! Thankfully, I'm reformed and now I only annoy ponies."

"Indeed." Rarity chuckled. "You're definitely the strangest reformed villain that Equestria has ever known."

On the other side of Ponyville, Discord suddenly sneezed. "Huh." he thought out loud. "That was weird."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After about fifteen minutes, the rest of Rarity's friends, sans Pinkie Pie, came in to get their own nice, cold drinks. "So," Rainbow Dash said, "Does this mean that since Rarity is friends with a barista here, we can get free drinks?"

Applejack scoffed and said, "That ain't how it works, Rainbow Dash." She looked at Hazelnut Latte. "Is it?"

"Only under special circumstances do ponies get free drinks." Hazelnut Latte replied. "I like you, Rainbow Dash, but I don't like you that much."

Fluttershy couldn't help but giggle. Twilight rolled her eyes and said, "Only you, Rainbow Dash, would try to take advantage of Rarity's friendship with Hazelnut Latte to get free coffee."

"I don't like coffee." Rainbow Dash corrected Twilight. "I actually like tea."

"What kind?" Twilight asked.

"Earl Grey." Rainbow Dash replied.

Twilight Sparkle's eyes widened as she smiled happily. "I love Earl Grey!"

Rainbow Dash and Twilight then proceeded to have a conversation about how wonderful Earl Grey tea was, including a history, which fascinated the cyan pegasus. It was strange since normally the weather pony didn't really care about history. Suddenly, the door burst open and Pinkie Pie charged in. "Pinkie Pie, are you okay?" Twilight asked. "It's really hot outside and you look like you've been running."

"You'd never believe what happened!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

"What happened, Pinkie?" Applejack asked.

"I just saw Big Mac get his giant cock stuck in Lady Garden's Pooper!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. 

Everypony was silent for ten long, long seconds before Applejack shouted, "He did WHAT?!"

"Hey, no shouting in the establishment!" Lemongrass scolded.