Undertale: Ponies And A Humerus Skeleton

by WhalenJP


Chapter 03: 2 Alicorns & A Skeleton Walk Into Grillby’s…

Sans was sitting in a large weathered throne reading the large book that he found in the castle, enjoying the humor that is Celestia and Luna, the two ponies that are Princesses of the land called Equestria.

He especially enjoyed Luna’s puns and jokes she occasionally made, making him chuckle and laugh as the midnight blue Alicorn, that’s what they’re called, reminded Sans of himself and Celestia of Papyrus, but Celestia was different than Papyrus, serious, yet ready to have fun with her sibling at a moment’s notice.

I wonder if they are here yet. Sans thought to himself as he felt the magic in the air around him wrap around his aura and greeting him like a friend coming to visit.

It’s very strange how the magic of this world feels like it’s alive and sentient like an actual living being. His magic didn’t feel like this when he was still living in the Underground.

His thoughts were interrupted by a feeling of two powerful presences entering the room at a fast pace, and his eye sockets lit up at the sight of the two iconic Alicorns from the book, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.

Their eyes connected and he saw shock on their faces, Probably at the sight of my bonely presence. He chuckled internally at his pun as he said, “ Heya.”

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Luna and Celestia stared at the short skeleton wearing a hoodie, shorts, and a pair of pink slippers, slippers! Who would wear slippers as everyday hoofwear?!

Anyways, Celestia cleared her throat as she snapped out of her spine inducing thrill, and spoke, “ Greetings, friend. I am-”

She was interrupted by the skeleton with a permanent grin that seemed to stretch a little bit more, “ Princess Celestia, Diarch of the Sun, I know. It says so in the book.”

Luna’s eyes locked onto the tome that was in the skeleton’s hands and suddenly remembered all the bad jokes and puns she made back then to annoy her sister as entertainment, and tensed slightly as she thought of a way to try and get the Diary back.

Sans looked at Luna and knew what she was tensing up for, and spoke again, “ You must be Princess Luna, Diarch of The Moon and Dreams, a pleasure to meet you.”

The skeleton seemed to disappear for a second, including the book, and reappeared in front of the two Alicorns, making them take a couple of steps back.

The skeleton put out a hand of Luna to shake with, and she was reluctant to do so, paranoid that this might be some trap.

She looked to her older sister and saw in her light purple eyes the acceptance to take the skeleton’s hand.

So she reached her right forehoof out and gripped the boney hand.

She was startled at the sudden farting noise coming from the hand, and she stared wide eyed as the skeleton started chuckling.

“ The good old whoopee cushion in the hand trick, it never gets old.” The skeleton held up the hand and both Princesses saw the deflated whoopee cushion pressed against the boney palm.

There was silence for a bit before Luna snerked, immediately bringing up a hoof to her muzzle with a blush. The skeleton seemed to notice and Luna couldn’t hold it anymore, and she fell to her knees laughing her tail off, and the skeleton followed.

Celestia watched the scene, surprised that this sudden meeting went well with laughter than a fight. She chuckled at the thought of Luna and the unnamed skeleton getting along just fine, She could use more friends. She thought.

The skeleton stopped laughing after a bit and said, “ Sans, Sans The Skeleton. Tibia honest, it’s nice to meet people who laugh at my pranks.”

Luna immediately replied, “ Well, I thought they were Humerus enough for me, then.”

Celestia groaned as she got double whammied by puns. Oh Great, looks like I need to get the liquor cabinet unlocked again. She thought as the two started making bone puns.

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The three talked for an hour before Celestia noticed the time, saying, “ Well, it looks like you two are getting along just fine, But I fear we should head back to Canterlot for the lowering of the Sun and rising of the Moon.”

She turned to Sans and asked, “ I have an offer for you, there is a small town not too far from here, it would be a great place to make friends and my fellow princess lives there. I recall that she’s friends with a pony who loves making everyone smile with jokes. What say you?”

Sans thought it over for a moment, before shrugging, “ Ok.”

Celestia and Luna looked at each other, surprised at how fast the skeleton accepted her proposal.

“ Ok? That’s it? No reason to know why we’re sending you to a town that possibly attracts danger every other day? Don’t you like the idea of living in a castle with royalty?” Celestia asked, curious at the answer Sans would give.

Sans shook his head, “ Nah, there’s not questions on why. You just want me to be safe from the ‘Noble’ Ponies. “ He used two fingers on both hands to make quotations at the word Noble.

Luna snorted, amused at how nonchalant and laidback Sans seems to be.

Sans continued, “ It’s good that you are trusting me to not cause trouble, you give people a chance to prove themselves, but you’re ready to find a way to end me in case I am not who I say I am.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow, “ And who exactly are you, Sans?”

Sans shut his eyes for a moment, before his left eye light up bright blue, with a flame sticking out, answering with a demonic voice mixed with his normal one, making the two tense up, ready for a fight if necessary.

“ I am Judgement. I judge people by looking through their SOULS to see if there is ill intentions, and ready to pass judgement on them. In this case, you two are pure, innocent beings with great hearts for all of the world, looking for a way to make life better for everyone. Even Luna, who was taken over by Nightmare Moon is pure, in a way, Nightmare is pure cause she thought she had good intentions like you two, she was just going about it the wrong way.”

Both Alicorns blinked at that statement of Nightmare Moon being pure, when she clearly was not a thousand years ago. She is now in the form of Nyx Sparkle, the adoptive daughter of Celestia’s former student and fellow Princess Of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle.

After the three said their goodbyes with promises to write and make more puns and jokes, the two Princesses went back to their castle to lower the Sun and raise the Moon.

Sans watched from the entrance of the castle ruins, before walking through the forest once again, ignoring the light shifting from the forestry of the Moon rising and Sun setting.

Looks like I have a long journey ahead of me. Sans thought to himself as he walked in the direction of Ponyville, where Princess Celestia pointed in the general direction of.