‘Day-! Eh…? What day is it again?’ I stop and think to myself. ‘I’ve only been doing this for the past… what… 40 years? Started that long ago I think... ‘
Going over the numbers in my head and doing the mental gymnastics for a solid hour, I finally remember what day it was. It felt like mere seconds in the grand scheme of things really.
‘Day 64970! Give it up for day 64970!’
Yep. ya boy is still stuck as a statue. And I don’t think thats gonna change anytime soon. Been a statue for… what was it… 178 years now? Yeah! 178 years.
You’d imagine quite a bit would happen in the last 158 years... But if I’m being honest, it’s been boring. Go figure, yeah? Well, I wouldn’t say NOTHING happened… but to me most of it was boring. Staring at one particular point in space can get repetitive if you know what I’m saying.
Well, as it turns out, after Luna nearly destroyed me, the very next day, she was swarmed with suitors. Well, maybe not swarmed, but she did have quite a few. How do I know this if I’m stuck in the gardens?
Well… the very next night I saw Luna flying towards me at a decent speed; enough so that she could knock me off my pedestal. I remember that because I also remember being terrified of dying that night. Still don’t know why that scares me anymore… some silly part of me is still holding onto the fleeting hope that I might someday get out of this stony prison.
Anyways, I was surprised when she came to a gentle stop right in front of me and hugged me. Like, a legit fucking hug. As you can imagine, I was fucking shellshocked. ‘Why the hell is this bitch hugging me?’ I thought to myself.
As it turned out, she thought the reason some suitors turned up was because of me. Like I was some sort of good luck charm for her or something. Sure; it had NOTHING to do with the fact that she was screamin and hollerin all through the night about how lonely she was.
But, I digress. She regards me in a good light. Remember that silly little part of me that thinks I can get outta here? Yeah. that’s the part that cares. Maybe if she cared enough, she’d try to find a way out for me. It’s a small shot; one that gets increasingly smaller with each year that passes. If she was going to, she’d have done it by now.
Ever since then, she’s seen me as a sort of confident. Something she can give her secrets too. Like a diary of sorts. So almost every night, she came down to the gardens, and told me about her day. Of course, not every day was a good day, but you take the good with the bad; Can’t have one without the other, right?
Did I care about how her days were going? Hell no. At least not at first. Regrettably, over the years, she’s grown on me. It’s like I’m her best friend. I fucking told ya she had issues. And now, those issues are mine to bear as well. Because she tells me about them any time a new one shows up. Every failed friendship, every argument with her sister, every noble who pissed her off.
I still don’t know why she chose the garden of all places to be her safe haven. She’s got all this open expanse of forest she could choose from. Yet she chose my pathetic little hovel; if it could even be called that. The gardens have grown quite a bit. There’s a couple more fountains, some new vegetation that’s been discovered, a couple new animals that weren’t here befo- ‘hey! Stop beatin on your brother!’
Sorry. Fucking squirrels. Did they listen to me or even hear me? No, of course not. Being here for as long as I have, I got to watch more than just ponies walk by or sit at my bench. I got to watch quite a few animal families grow up. A Lot of them are gone now, and it upset me when I had to stare at little reggie’s corpse for a week before someone finally noticed it. I’ve given up on trying to name them all, so I just call them as I see em. Mom, dad, brother, sister, son, daughter. You know how it goes.
Anyways, back on topic! … What was the topic again? Oh yeah! Luna!
She views me as that. She’s even named me. It’s kinda fucked up and pissed me off when I first heard it; but I can’t even remember my real name anymore, so why bother? My name is now Null apparently. Fucking. Null. A zero. An invalid… I don’t think she even knows what it means, but it’s somehow oddly fitting. In the grand scheme of things, I am an invalid. I don’t belong here. I am a zero. I’m nothing. Just a fucking statue.
In other news, I think I finally got this eye thing down. My vision is no longer cluttered with popups. I swear I even saw a few for a free IPhone and kitten videos. Probably just my mind playing tricks on me. But yeah. Things only pop up now when something crosses my vision. Still don’t know how to use it on command though…
I know I know. ‘You’ve had this ability for 178 years and still don’t know how to fully use it?!’ short answer? Yep. long answer? I think this ability was meant to get the person who had it killed or drive them to insanity. When I first got it, I couldn’t see a damn thing through it. Average lifespan of a human is 79 years, give or take. Tack on the fact that I was like… 15? No way, maybe it was 16… ah shit, maybe it was some time in between… hey! That rhymed! If my statue cracked every time I did that unintentionally I’d have been free YEARS ago. Anyways- wait! It wasn’t either of those, for fucks sake. I remember with 100% certainty now. I was 14 when I first arrived here. So yeah. 79 minus 14, 65. Add on the fact that I’d probably have gone senile or had some sort of mental degradation due to age somewhere around my 60’s. So shave about 15 years off that 65. 50 years is how long I would have had to learn this ability in my natural lifetime; assuming I didn’t go insane somewhere along the way. And I’ve had it for 178 years and STILL can’t use it properly.
That’s why I think it’s meant to try to get me killed or drive me insane. Why? Maybe so it can use my body as a host? Hell if I know. Maybe that’s why the guy who had it before me had such a bad rep. If that’s the case, you fucked up by bringing me here when ya did, ya parasitic fuck. I’m using your little curse/gift and making it my bitch!... one day at a time. Or maybe it just wasn’t meant for humans or something. Maybe I’m just overthinking it. But when you’ve got nothing but time on your hands, what else can you do but theorycraft?
Hell, I’ve probably thought up so many variations to every single story I’ve heard, every single game I’ve played, every show I’ve watched, I’ve probably thought up how they all actually end and I’d never know.
Oh look! Here comes Luna. She seems to be in a good mood this time. That’s good. I don’t feel like having another fight with her. Yeah, I know. A fight with a statue. Pretty sad, right? She’s always apologized and forgiven me for whatever I said in her mind; but god, if it isn’t annoying to put up with.
… The hell am I doing? I’m a fucking statue. Look at me over here acting like it matters what a pony does socially with a statue. That’s even sadder than her spending her time with a statue; because at least with her, she can do what she wants with her time.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m probably overplaying how much time she actually spends with me. Sure, she comes down almost every night, but wouldn’t you write in your diary at the end of every day as well? That’s essentially what she does. And there’s been times when she hasn’t come down for weeks at a time. Sometimes even months. So I’m sure she has a life outside of talking to me. Of course she does, else she wouldn’t have anything to tell me. Plus, she’s a princess. She runs a fucking nation. Alongside her sister of course, -fucking cunt she is-, but still!
It’s amazing I can still hold a grudge this long….Anyways, let’s see what she’s so happy about.
She comes and gives me a hug; which is not a rare occurrence, but still pretty uncommon. She must be in a really good mood. She takes a moment to get herself situated, then leans up against my pedestal. She hums a little tune to herself, one I can’t really discern. Must be a new song that came out or something.
‘Damnit, Moon Moon! Reveal to me your secrets!’
Once again, she cannot hear me. I’m sensin’ a bit of a theme here, aren’t you?
“Good evening, Null.”
Well that’s new. She usually just starts off with what she wants to say. Greeting me was never really a thing she did.
‘What are you up to Luna…’
“Today went well. The nobles didn’t have much to complain about. My sister and I had a conversation that gave me an idea. And I liked it so much, I decided to follow through with it.”
Well, that’s something. Usually you just throw those ideas in a book and leave them to be forgotten. I know this for a fact. She’s shown me the book. She did describe it as something different, but that’s basically what it is.
“I wanted to do something to thank you. You might be just a statue; you may not even be there at all. But I’d like to think that you’re in there somewhere. That you can hear me. See me. It may not seem like it, but you do a lot for me. Just by listening; or being here I guess, in case you aren’t there. It really helps. And I know you don’t exactly have a choice in the matter, but that just makes me all the more thankful. And a bit regretful… you know, forcing you to listen to me like this. But, I don’t think I’d be the mare I am today without your help. So. Thank you. I hope you like it.”
During this entire little speech, my mind is spazzing the fuck out. Like, just imagine someone just twitching on the ground uncontrollably, arms and legs jerkin around in all kinds of ways they aren’t supposed to.. Kinda like the guy who had boneitis. That’s what my mind is doing. I just can’t process this at all. She’s thankful for me being what I am? You don’t ever see anyone thanking their diary. Why would she thank me? Let alone treat me like a person? I’m just a statue…
while I wasn’t paying attention, she levitated a what looks to be an elegant silverish looking plaque in front of me. On it reads the name she gave me, along with… is that the year I came to this place? Wow, I managed to land smack dab on the year 1000. Huh. go figure. It also says, ‘The Auspicious Observer'. The observer part I get, but the hell is she calling me auspicious for? The hell did that mean again...
“You see? It’s a plaque made of pure silver. That way everypony can know who you are. You won’t just be that nameless statue in the gardens. Silver is generally associated with inner wisdom, protection, subtle strength, and luck; as well as being connected to the moon. All of which I thought was applicable to you. That last bit just made it feel a little more personal to me.” she blushes a little but maintains her smile.
“You’ve always brought me good fortune, things don’t really go wrong when I tell or ask you something. And you’re always here. Always watching. I thought it was all rather fitting. Don’t you?” she asks with a smile.
She lets me look at it for a little bit longer, then affixes it to my pedestal with what I would assume to be magic, as she doesn’t have anything else with her.
After that, she looks up at me with a genuine, wholesome smile. “I really do hope you like it.”
She waits a few more seconds, as if expecting an answer. I assume she got one, because then she nodded, and walked off back to the castle.
I… I don’t know what to say. I’m speechless. Humbled. She actually sees me as a person, not just a statue. Maybe…. Maybe one day I will get outta here.