//------------------------------// // Chapter 71: The Kirin // Story: The Cassandra Chronicles // by CassandraMyOCisBestpony //------------------------------// The Cutie Map called Applejack and Fluttershy to the edge if Equestria. "The edge ya say?" said Applejack looking suddenly happy, "Suck on it cartographers, ah knew th' earth was flat! What a remarkable day, first ah turn out ta be right about th' earth bein' flat, then th' map calls fer a combination of ponies that it's already calls fer! Th' odds of that combination are over a million t'one!" Fluttershy gasped and grabbed onto a table leg for dear life "I don't want to fall off the edge of the Earth! I fell off the edge of Cloudsdale once in my dark past that's not not as dark as Cassandra's!" "See what you've done nowm, Applejack?" said Cassandra, "Alright, Fluttershy, I'll go in your place. Since you copy my tail and manestyle, the map won't know the difference." "Oh thank you Cassandra! With you around I never have to be scared because you do all the scary things for me!" Applejack and Cassandra arrived at the Kirin village. The Kirin were very clearly aroused by Cassandra, but they couldn't seem to speak! "Ah figured out their friendship prollum!" said Applejack, "They dun have enough apple trees." She turned to a Kirin, "do you wanna buy some apples?" The Kirin didn't respond. "Seems they dun speak Ponish really goodly like ah do.... DOOOO YOOOOOUUUUUUU WANNNNNNT TO BUYYYYYYYYYYY SOME APPPPPPPPPPPLES. YUM YUM VERY CHEAP!" Cassandra pointed at Applejack, then mimed the word "cousin" and then a very explicit gesture. The Kirin nodded in understanding. "Do you speak Japanese - Neighpono wo hanasemasuka?" asked Cassandra; she was fluent in Japanese. The Kirin just shrugged. "¿Hablan espoñyol?" attempted Cassandra. Still nothing. "Você fala Ponytuguês? Spreek je Neighderlands? Est-ce que tu parles Prançeais? Hal tatahadath Saddle Alearabia? Nǐ huì shuō Zhōngwhinny ma?" Other ponies would've gone on like that forever, but Cassandra realized that the problem wasn't language, but that they were incapable of speaking. They decided to look outside the village for clues, when suddenly, they came across a Kirin who could speak! "Who brought the main course? That pony is so beautiful, smart, hot, attractive, gorgeous, sexy, kind, generous, loyal, honest, laughing, hot, sexy, soft, smart, attractive, jealousy inducing, cute, wise, attractive, godlike, heroic, interesting, hot, and a genius! Oh I'm Autumn Blaze by the way, so that you know what name to scream out when I make you climax." "We're here to make everypony talk again." said Cassandra, "a glowing table assigned us to come help." She was used to remaining professional when ponies were attracted to her, since that was almost always. "Well, I know i'm not as good a singer as you," said Autumn timidly, "but if it's ok with you, I'd... I'd like to show you a song I wrote, ifthatsokitsokifitsnot." "That sounds lovely," said Cassandra. So Autumn sang her song, with Cassandra quickly intuiting how it went, and harmonizing along. When they were done, Cassandra gave her a kiss on the forehead. "That was a lovely song," said Cassandra. "Oh I'm so glad you liked it!" exclaimed Autumn, "I was worried that a pony who was superior in every way would just think it was silly. "Of course not, my little Kirin." "Say, where did your friend go?" "Oh, she probably stormed off when we sang about how apples can have worms. Anyway, what kind of potion did you make to restore your voice? I can probably remake it since I have Level 99 apothecary skills." "You take a bundle of Foal's Breath flowers and mix them with water." "Then what?" asked Cassandra. "That's it." said Autumn ""you just mix the Foal's Breath into a tea, or boil it with soup, or hell, just throw it in a body of water and the entire body of water becomes the cure. But.... I don't have anymore Foal's Breath. I used it all up on failed prototypes. I wanted the cure to be epic and sexy like you Cassandra," explained the sad Kirin, ashamed that she disappointed Cassandra. "It's called the Cassandra Effect," said Cassandra, "ponies and creatures who've never even met me have a desire to impress me. It is both a gift, and a curse." "I'm sorry to hear of your troubled backstory," said Autumn, "you are truly a deep and complex character" "No time for that now, I have to make a new cure." So they did, and Cassandra found flowers, whilst Applejack fell off the edge of a cliff thinking it was the edge of the world, and she died. The took the cure back, and made the town's fountain into a cure. Their leader said, "Cassandra and Autumn Blaze, you have showed us the error of our ways. Perhaps I too have things to learn, and perhaps the tallest pony isn't necessarily the smartest. "Believe me, she's not," said Cassandra, thinking of all the times she had to bail out Celestia. "Cassandra wrote this really cool story about a Kirin that lived below an opera stage." said Autumn. Nervously, she asked Cassandra, "Can I buy the rights to it if I give you some practice kissing?" "Of course you can, my little Kirin." said Cassandra. They were lucky to have a friend like her.