Dungeons and Dazzles

by Eyeswirl the Weirded


Chapter 9: Meeting The Boss

Sunset's Final Boss senses were going off even before they glimpsed the room that waited at the top of the stairs, but when they got there, she was sure this was it. Huge, round, arena-like room, extravagant decoration on every polished surface, and of course a pedestal waiting in the center, light from above shining down to bring attention to the artifact they came here for.

"...Is that a frying pan?"

Adagio cautiously drew closer, axe raised. "Sure looks like one. Do you think they use it for-"

The light dimming made her squeak and quickly look around for something to swing at, a loud, flapping noise making her look up to see what she guessed was the last encounter of the adventure. Descending into the room was a large, muscular man with four massive, feathery wings, dressed in only a golden mask and an immaculate cloth around his waist, reaching down to his feet. In his hand was an especially long, flaming greatsword, which Sunset didn't want to give him a chance to swing.

"Blizzard!"

The Archangel made no attempt to block or dodge her attack, his wings not slowing their steady beat even as he frosted over. When he was hovering just over the ground, he moved only one arm to swing his sword at Adagio, who was blocking long before he could have reached her.

The impact drew a yelp of fright and pain as she was pushed back several feet. As brave as Adagio had been through this adventure (for her, at least), Sunset didn't need to see her legs shaking to know she wasn't going to swing back just yet, so she laid into the archangel with lightning as Aria threw knives that just bounced off his muscular frame, apparently not even leaving scratches.

"Oh, I see how it is," Aria grumbled, turning to look at Sunset. "While she's got him distracted, I'll sneak around and backstab his wings off?"

Sunset nodded. "I think his attacks can cut through blocks. Hurry."

And hurry Aria did, moving in a wide arc so as not to draw the boss's attention while it continued to attack Adagio, who Sonata healed just as quickly. When she got close, Aria jumped on the Archangel, holding onto his wings with both knives before alternating stabs with both. It was working, she could see blood flowing now, but the angel stretched his wings, shot straight up to the ceiling, and smashed Aria between his back and the painted masonry above.

When he let her go, Aria fell the entire height of the boss arena, Adagio catching her before she could slam into the ground.

"Aria, are you alright?!"

"Owieee," she whimpered.

"I'll take that as a yes!" Glancing up, she saw the Archangel again drifting down, so she reached into her satchel to smash a strong healing potion against Aria, throwing mana potions at Sunset and Sonata as their rogue got to her feet again. "Any plans, Sunset?!"

"Um, h-his wings are probably his weak point, and Aria just proved we can hurt those! Do you think you can chop those off?"

"Not if he focuses on me!"

He was halfway down to them now. If nothing else, it seemed he couldn't drift down very fast. Sunset's eyes narrowed.

"Then I'll draw his fire, get ready!"

She immediately peppered the Archangel with blasts of fire, hoping the feathers would catch. They didn't, but she must have built up enough aggro to get his attention, because he was drifing toward her now. Determined to keep it for a little longer, she tried casting Poison, Slow, Blindness, and Doom (which apparently wasn't in this game) just to see if they would do anything, but as expected, bosses were immune to status effects.

When the Archangel drew close, Adagio started running for him, which was what gave Sunset the presence of mind to block anyway. He had just raised his sword when Adagio jumped at his back, screaming as she swung for a wing.

A visceral sound accompanied the Archangel's first visible sign of pain, two and a half wings falling to the ground in a mess of blood and feathers. Stunned and a little disgusted, Adagio dared hope that meant he was dead, but when he raised his sword again, she noticed that Sunset hadn't gotten out of his range yet. As she and Sunset frantically swung and cast spells at point-blank range, Aria running in to stab the open wounds on the Archangel's back in the hope of finishing it off, Sonata had a bright idea of just how to do that.

"Holy!"

Pointing at the Archangel, she fired her ultra-powerful, instant-obliteration spell, enveloping him in white light. In an instant, his wings grew back, the flames on his greatsword turned blue, his body began to glow, and golden light beamed from the eyes of his mask.

All four adventurers stared in shock before three turned their heads in unison.

"Sonata, you idiot!!"

It would seem that the newly empowered Archangel agreed (or more likely, Sonata's high-damage attack gave her even more aggro than the other three combined), because he immediately flapped his wings, shot over to Sonata-

"Oh, shi-"

-and cut her down. He then sped back to the others, pushing Adagio back with even more force than before. She was barely able to screech out "Help!" before Sunset unleashed a volley of fireballs square into his back, immaculate plumes turning black with ash.

In barely a second, he turned and cut her down, Sunset seeing her health drop to zero before she even realized she'd been hit.

Falling to the ground, Sunset felt helpless, her world slowing down as she saw the Archangel, still towering with might and divine fury, with just two new players between him and a full party wipe. She couldn't speak, couldn't give any kind of advice or instructions, was just (questionably) lucky that she fell in such a way that she could still see what was going on. It was probably the same for Sonata, or she'd have probably called out for help by now.

Time picked up again when she heard Adagio shout.

"Aria, on his back!"

"But-"

"DO IT!!"

For just an instant, Sunset saw that face again. It was the one Aria made on Rarity's birthday when asking Sunset not to tell Adagio that she'd just said they were more 'in charge' of the group than she was, that unshakable fear of Adagio that was causing so much trouble in their friendship.

Well, even I told her she's scary sometimes. Have I ever made that face at her?

Before she could search her memories, Aria obeyed the order, again getting smashed against the ceiling, and again getting caught by Adagio.

"Thanks," their barbarian commander said quickly as she set the depleted rogue down, "now sit tight."

Sunset would have laughed at the shock and disbelief in Aria's eyes if not for the current predicament. She saw Adagio jog over to her, grab her arm, and point it up toward the Archangel, whose slow descent hadn't gained any speed from Sonata's accidental power-up.

"I wish he was a pile of inanimate gold coins!"

And then, as the rainbow-colored ring on her finger lit up, Sunset understood Adagio's plan.

"Are you freakin' kidding me?!"

"Obviously not," Adagio calmly answered as she swept the remains of their adversary into her coin pouch, "and for the record, I'd say it worked out beautifully."

Even though Adagio had used potions to revive all of them before looting, Aria, who'd had some questions about the wishing ring, was less than pleased, folding her arms and pouting. "Yea, because you were the only one still standing."

Knowing where she was going with this, Sunset smiled and rolled her eyes. "It was a sound strategy, Aria. Once Sonata accidentally turbo-charged the guy-"

She stood off to the side, wishing her face-obscuring hood fit over her sweet pope hat. "How was I supposed to know angels liked light magic?"

"-we'd have probably been screwed if we tried to heal damage as fast as he was doling it out, so she used you to exploit his slow, dramatic descent thing to buy time to use the wishing ring to cheat the boss out of existence. Cheesing it a little, but at that point, I'd say it was that, or we lose, and we don't know what kind of penalty that carries."

Connecting that Sunset was talking about a possible hit to their pay for all this, she grumbled. "Yea, well..."

"I'm sorry I used you as cannon fodder," Adagio said as she got to her feet, "it wasn't very nice of me. Almost like, say, sending someone to face a dragon by themselves."

"Yea, you-" As the memory sunk in, her face grew very sheepish. "...Uhh..."

Hands on her hips, Adagio leaned forward and smirked. "But it's fine if it's part of a winning strategy, right?"

"...Maybe."

"I can't hear you, Aria."

Blushing, Aria made an especially petulant pout. "Alright, alright, fine!"

Adagio chuckled. "You're welcome." She turned to Sunset. "So, does the game just end when we nab the frying pan?"

"Um..." Deciding that the fastest way to test that was to just do it, Sunset jogged over to the pedestal and did just that. The game didn't end. "I guess we have to turn it in somewhere. Maybe there's-"

She was interrupted by an otherwise unremarkable (that is, compared to the rest of the ridiculously ornate room) wall sliding open, revealing a new path.

"Oh, okay then. Everyone ready?"

The sirens nodded an affirmative and the group moved into the stone passage way, went down some stairs, and saw a wider corridor with another merchant and his bazaar stand off to one side, and a glowing, white circle in a circle of stones on the ground at the end of the hall. Sunset smiled.

"Cullis gate. Either that's the end, or it'll lead us to the parade in which we're hailed as heroes and that will be the end."

Sonata looked at the merchant. "And this is our last chance to sell all our loot?"

"Looks like it."

And with that, the group flogged everything they'd acquired since the last merchant, including every last potion and everything they didn't have equipped. Aria was more than willing to stand naked (assuming this game would allow that) in a dungeon for a few minutes if it meant a bigger payday, but on top of the obvious reasons, Sunset wanted to hold onto their equipment just in case it carried over into some future playthrough in a fantasy game.

Besides, Adagio looked happy in her golden, shiny, bikini-armor-catsuit.

She did surprise Sunset, however, because when they had sold everything and were just about ready to leave, she smiled at the merchant.

"I'd like to buy a crossbow."

Aria and Sonata traded looks as Sunset put a hand on her shoulder. "Uh, Dagi, there's nothing left to fight here. The game is basically over."

She was still smiling, but something in her grin shot Sunset with a particularly dark bolt of deja vu. "Humor me."

Perplexed, Sunset stepped back, watching as Adagio looked through the merchant's selection before picking out her favorite. Taking it in exchange for a modest sum, she gave the merchant an especially warm smile.

"Thank you." Then she glared, pointing the weapon at his face. "Now get down on the ground!!"

Sunset's jaw dropped as the merchant, in the exact same style as the hostages in the heist game, obeyed her command. Adagio had another one for Aria and Sonata.

"Star, Punch, secure the loot."

Looking at them, Sunset saw Aria light up with glee, practically hearing a 'CHA-CHING' sound as she beamed.

"Right on, Fluffy!"

Distantly surprised that Adagio didn't even seem to care about her nickname as the two got to work bagging and dragging the wares they had just parted with, plus everything the merchant had to offer, to the cullis gate while Adagio kept her weapon trained on the merchant, Sunset managed to make words.

"Uh... Adagio? What are you doing?"

"These pricks have been robbing us for the entire game. I'd say this is perfectly justified."

Sunset opened her mouth to protest, to say heroes definitely weren't supposed to do this kind of thing, but she remembered Adagio's similar attitude back in Fatbear's Pizza.

I still wonder if it was okay to take that pizza, but this guy doesn't even really exist, so...?

Well, as long as the sirens didn't rob people in real life, Sunset decided she could live with this as Jacket got to work moving the rest of the loot.

The trip from the VR pods to the lobby was again spent disappointing Aria with the knowledge that nobody else kept track of their kills. Her mood brightened when she saw four big, burlap sacks with dollar signs on them, which she interpreted to be their payment. Before she or Sonata could reach them, however, a loud crackling sound was heard from above.

Down from some kind of circular opening in the ceiling descended a platform aided by long, metal rods, smoke and sparks of many colors spilling over the sides as it drew closer to the ground, all accompanied by a playful, yet faintly sinister tune. When the colorful effects started to die down and the platform had lowered most of the way, a man burst from the smoke, landing in front of them with a flourish.

He was dressed in mismatched shoes (a green, snakeskin boot and red clown shoe), a patchwork suit of random fabrics, colors, and patterns, two matching gloves made almost suspicious by their pristine whiteness when compared with the rest of his outfit, and a necktie that disappeared into a coat pocket, appeared to come out of another on his opposite side, and hung backward over his shoulder like the scarf of some fictional hero. The tie seemed to be some kind of tapestry, but Sunset couldn't begin to make sense of it from where she stood, nor of his discolored, heterochromic, red and yellow eyes. Next to those, his grey skin, scraggly goatee, and wild, white hair sticking up in every direction from which it stood on his balding head were perhaps the easiest features to explain.

"Well done, mighty heroes," he loudly proclaimed, arms out in a way that made Sunset worry that he was about to sweep them all up in a hug, "the dungeons are conquered, the bosses are dead, the puzzles were tested-" grinning with a hint of malice, he clenched one hand into a fist, "-and the merchants finally get a lesson in complacency!"

Sunset stared in silence, but glancing at the sirens, confirmed that they could see him too, so she knew she wasn't suffering whatever madness those VR pods were supposedly capable of inflicting. Or, all of them were having the same-

Adagio cleared her throat, explaining with a perfectly straight face. "Girls, meet our employer; Dyresius Whiskerdoodle McMuttonChops Oxford, or as he prefers-"

"Discord," he finished for her, one hand extended to the sky as though extracting some godly power from the universe itself before transitioning to a bow, "and oh so pleased to meet the rest of you!"

Things were quiet for a moment. Sonata, visibly worried, whispered to Adagio.

"Are we gonna die?"

"He's harmless," Adagio deadpanned, turning to look at the man that first called her here. "Is there something further you need today?"

Standing up straight, about as tall as Principal Celestia, he smiled. "I just wanted to congratulate you all in person for that thing at the end." He nodded to the money bags waiting on the counter. "And yes, I allowed the full, proportional payment because-" he started counting off on his fingers, "One, it was funny, shoe, I know very well the feeling of wanting to stick it to someone running a racket like in-game salesmen do (though my dev team tells me the haggling system is coming along), and three, you even used the code-names!"

So he's the one who picked those, thought Sunset.

Aria beamed, even throwing in a salute. "Pleasure doin' business!"

He chuckled, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear that, Aria- Can I call you Aria? I hate going all 'formal' unless it's for comic effect, but I know how some people are, so- it's fine? Okay, gravy. -because there's still a few more games with bugs to work out before we go public with these pods. I don't know which one's going to be ready first, but I'm especially excited for the one with the monster trucks and rocket cars!"

Sunset tilted her head. "Like, a racing game?"

He looked at her askance for a moment, then rubbed his chin. "Racing game... interesting..." He smiled. "Well, you girls enjoy your winnings, I've got some things to do, ta-ta!"

And he cartwheeled away, disappearing around a corner.

A quiet, uncertain moment passed, but looking around, Aria remembered those big, beautiful bags of cash. She looked at Sunset. "We'll grab three of those, so seeya at the next one'a these."

Sunset smiled hopefully. "Or maybe at school?"

Aria made a face. "Seriously?"

Adagio shrugged. "There's only a month or so left until summer vacation, and we wouldn't need as much money if the school were paying for lunch every weekday."

Aria made an especially sour face. "Okay, okay, fine." She gave Sunset an annoyed glance. "Seeya at school."

Not wanting to risk messing this up, Sunset just smiled.

I did it, Principal Celestia. And maybe when the summer break ends, they'll be joining full-time!

Grabbing one of the loot bags, Sonata smiled. "School isn't that bad, y'know. We don't even have to wear uniforms or take peoples' orders all day. Plus, I totally heard someone say that all three of us are hotter than Rarity!"

The thought made Aria smirk as she hefted her and Adagio's bags over a shoulder. "Let's get these home. Then we can go nab some ice cream."

Sonata blinked in surprise, then giggled with glee.

Meanwhile, Sunset was weirdly gratified to see Adagio still standing next to her. Maybe she wanted to talk in private too? "So, that guy, Discord, um... does he-"

"Not our father, most likely just this world's equivalent. Princess Twilight told you that she had friends identical to yours in Equestria, right?"

"Oh. I guess that sorta makes sense."

"For whatever it's worth, this one actually seems to care about other living beings, at least more than ours ever did."

"How can you tell?"

Adagio gestured in the direction of the pod room. "He's an insane billionaire with the wealth and influence to do just about anything he wants, and is going through the trouble of making something other people can enjoy."

"...Oh. Yea, I guess that'd do it." She glanced around, confirming that they were alone in the lobby. "So, um... About your last suit of armor...?"

Giggling, Adagio brushed her hair over her shoulder. "Glorious, wasn't it? I'd look for a real-world equivalent if I weren't sure that the scales would chafe mercilessly."

An inconvenient series of mental images rolling through Sunset's brain, she turned away with a cough. "Y-yea, um... I mean, I was thinking that, i-it kind of, y'know..." She glanced at Adagio to find an inquisitive, but not remotely bashful expression. "Wasn't it kind of... tight?"

"Yes," she said while absent-mindedly running a hand over her hindquarters, "which is why I'm sure that if I could have felt it on me, it'd have chafed, but at least it didn't leave me half-naked like the steel and fur."

Something bumped into something else in Sunset's head, rattling her thoughts, but fortunately making some kind of connection.

Adagio's first two armors showed a lot of skin, but the gold armor didn't.

And then she remembered that the sirens were aliens who, unlike her, didn't live so close to the puny earthlings normal people of this realm. Maybe they still had an alien's understanding of modesty? She opted to let the matter drop.

"Yea, I guess. So, anyway, good thinking with the wishing ring back there."

Folding her arms behind her back, Adagio wore a faintly contrite expression. "You'd have probably preferred to use it yourself, so sorry for stealing that from you."

"Heh, don't worry about it, I totally forgot we even had it." She giggled at Adagio's look of surprise. "I kind of thought that if anything, you'd have just wished for millions and millions of gold or something."

"That occurred to me, but I wasn't sure we'd get away with it, and I wouldn't want to test someone who's already been generous with us."

"Fair enough. What would you have done if we didn't use it on the angel?"

Hesitant uncertainty on her face, she shrugged. "Hope it was worth a lot?" Sunset just giggled again, so she smiled, turning toward the door. "We'll most likely see you at school or something. Take care, Sunset."

Nodding, Sunset waved a little goodbye before moving to receive her share of the payment, already looking forward to sharing regular school days with her three relatively new friends.

Of course, once summer starts, we're not gonna be seeing each other much... Maybe there's something I can do about that?

Besides, she kind of wanted to see how the sirens acted when not around her or each other. If nothing happened with her friends at school, she had about a month to think of a way to make that happen.