Alright, Starswirl, I am now ready.
Nightshade and I sat between both ends of the blanket, myself cross-legged, laid out on patchy ground which wasn't filthy enough to leave a stain. No telling when I'd encounter the next washing machine. At my mentor's behest, we set this up because the old stallion intended on treating us for hard work pulled off so far.
It's been weeks since the incident in Mount Everhoof. Two, almost three weeks, I believed. The hunt for Zagreus continued onwards, since Starswirl's been practically tracking his stench all across Equestria. Maybe Twilight was right about it being a wild goose chase, but I couldn't just let the [BEEP]tard do as he pleases, right? What motivated me to even come through all the way to this point was the letter my love sent to me a while back.
And that photo showing myself and my friends, taken not long after the battle against Tirek. A means of celebrating our victory over the monster... God time flew. Forgot it was even in the bag for a while.
On your word, Jack.
Alright then. For Nightshade, he'll have a bowl of those favourite treats that Twilight feeds him on the weekends. As for myself...
Four quarterpounders.
Four McDonalds fries.
Chicken nuggets.
Fish fingers.
Two large bottles of Pepsi.
And a bucket of fine KFC chicken.
...Oh, and some napkins. Couldn't have that amount of fast food without napkins. They're mandatory.
My mentor sounded far more than amused. My aren't we very picky today. Very well, but please refrain from overstuffing yourself. The pursuit wouldn't last long if you barely afforded the energy for a brisker pace, my young protege.
And just like that, a few pops from the air before us, and several and Godly recognizable fast food from both my favourite places landed harmlessly on plates and boxes onto the picnic blanket, prompting my sharp intake of excitement. Now see, this was the ultimate meal right here!
McDoanlds AND KFC? What could be better?! Burger King? Pfft, get that [BEEP] out of here!
Now, I know I once or twice said, claimed even, that being around my friends put me off from meat-related food and meals any longer... But [BEEP] it, I missed these greasy, unhealthy stuff for far too long by this point. A life without eating McDonalds ever again scarcely brought pondering on.
And KFC? Oh God, the chicken! I didn't care what others thought, it's the best damn tasty chicken in the universe! Divine, as Rarity would say.
Without even waiting, I tucked myself in with the first box of fries, the afternoon shade already gleaming over by the distance. What a lovely location- Oh right; Starswirl, also a bowl of water for Nightshade too, thanks. Just noticed the absence of needed hydration for the bird feasting himself before that was rectified.
Yep, best lunch in months.
"Jack, you know this is far more than needed. You're gonna make yourself ill consuming all this!" Was what I envisioned a certain lavender Princess comment in clear disapproval to my right, the voice as though she was truly there. But wasn't that just hopeful thinking?
Regardless, I just indulged my delusions and cast my head briefly to the side, mentally responding in good humour. "Listen, love, a human's gotta eat. It's what we excel at." Followed with a verbal huff and rolled eyes as the ghostly mare's reply. Smirking wider, I popped another fry in my mouth, reveling in the familiar taste. "Mmm...!"
It's a shame my friends couldn't eat meat. They'd love this! Maybe next time, I'll introduce them to the flawless fries.
Actually, Jack, ponies are more than capable of eating meat. Starswirl chose to interject. But it's slightly more picky than the ranges of food your kind chooses to consume. Specifically, we;re quite fond of the fish variety.
Oh... Huh. Never seen my friends eat fish. But go figure. I shrugged, taking a moment to pour the first large bottle into a plastic cup.
Now then, to business. Garble mentioned that there were more enemies out for me than Zagreus. I imagined he was addressing himself and his minions too, yet somehow, I got the sensation there was more to his vague statement than simply that. Who else did that dragon actually mean?
Demon Sunset?
Midnight Twilight?
Nightmare Rarity?
Chrysalis?
Let's see, what other villains would Zagreus pull from across dimensions to do his bidding... Actually, come to think of it, the very ponder of that thought was enough to send shivers down my spine. God, just envision it. Any and all threats who have ever been to Equestria... Not to mention over malevolent forces from across the fictional multiverse.
Next up, Maleficent! Xehanort! Darth Sidious! Voldemort! God knows how many!
Best dwell on that afterwards, Jack. Wouldn't want you to be put off your appetite out of apprehension, would we?
Hm? No good point. Still... I pondered briefly whilst eating another chip. Zagreus grows more powerful by the day, all thanks to me-
O-Ow...
"Hoo." Nightshade pointed out in concern, myself suddenly leaning against the side with a hand tightly clutching my chest. I managed a weak grin to the bird in spite of clenched features and teeth, preventing myself from falling over completely. Okay, haven't felt that one in a while!
Another surge of the world rejecting your presence. Hold on Jack... There. As he said this, the pain, thankfully, did manage to subside, prompting my brief panting state and slowly sitting back up again. Apologies Jack, my guard was down for the moment... Luckily the surge wasn't as excessive as last time. I must say, I was sincerely expecting far more from the world acting against your very being. We should consider ourselves lucky.
Yeah, luck's the word I'd use... Better finish all this quick then, followed with rapid bathroom breaks. Next civilization was up ahead, you said right teach? The sooner I get myself cleaned up, the sooner the pursuit continues... Despite the fading stab of pain in my heart.
Even now, moving onto some delicious fish fingers, my mind could still see Twilight sitting beside me with worried, disapproving brows, inciting my small smile.
"Hmhmhmhmhmhmhm..." Came the resonance of evil chuckling upon the last buzz saw almost slicing off my shoulder, barely nicking at clothing from my close dodge. Surrounding my hapless position, floating rapid spinning saws imbued with dark energy prevented most means of escape to safety... Not that I intended to flee in the first place.
God, this was NOT how I wanted to exercise after finishing such a big meal. I clutched my protestant stomach with a grimace. Leave it to that coward to try attacking me after I've had lunch-
Whoa!
That one almost got my ear!
"Such magic exceeds even my expectations..." Zagreus murmured quite satisfactory, the corrupt stallion taking it upon himself to hover above the multiple buzz saws controlled from his power. Those pure dark eyes shone with gleeful malice. "My own power could even frighten myself, perhaps."
Whoa! Another close roll, flinching at the sound of sharp blades against patch dirt. "That just means you miscalculated!" If I get him distracted enough, perhaps I could retreat a safe distance. "That's a failure by any intellectual's standards!"
...God, now I was beginning to sound like Twilight that I was missing her too much.
Zagreus grinned wickedly, the peachy unicorn inclining his head followed with sounds of dreadfully approaching buzz saws. I had to duck and roll again from the onslaught of three sharp weapons. "Surpassing expectations, boy, is considered a far superior level of intelligence... But I wouldn't expect a child like you to comprehend."
Okay, this wasn't working. I couldn't just duck and roll forever. Plan needed, right now!
You have the means.
What... Oh yeah!
Whoops! Another saw barely grazing my back clothing, flying overhead dangerously. Zagreus clearly had a thing for sharp weapons recently; knowing if magic wouldn't kill me then perhaps regular weapons would... Which, in this form, was tragically likely.
Regardless, removing the sonic screwdriver from my pocket, I growled while leaning down before miraculously leaping over the next approaching buzz saw... To Zagreus' grunt of indifference. Yeah, bet you're not annoyed right now, [BEEP]hole. Unfortunately, karma had a funny habit of picking on me most of the time, but on this occasion in the form of nine buzz saws spinning and aimed to fire at once, all floating around the contemptible unicorn.
Scratch, karma prefers to bite me ALL the time. When the Hell was Zagreus gonna be on the receiving end of it!
Right now. Be prepared.
Gotcha. My grip around the sonic device tightened, timing it readily. And the madman wasted no time in indulging my patience, swinging his head around with a casual smirk as the buzz saws obeyed, all firing in my seemingly unprotected direction. And now! My arm thrusted, sonic weapon buzzing and retaliating with enough magic repel and against metal for the saws to immediately clatter on the ground instead, Starswirl finishing the job with making the unguarded tools disappear in a bright flash.
Zagreus scoffed, descending on the ground a few feet away. "A wonder you handled the Dragoon with ease. You can't fight back unless you're being helped by a relic from the beyond." Hey, only I get to take cheap jabs at my mentor, [BEEP]hat. His muzzle curled in distaste. "You have a lot of nerve in spite reverting back to that handicapped form. Still, my new friend here shall succeed where those unreliable demons continue failing."
New friend? Sounds way too ominous. Zagreus grinned at my prepared stance, simply raising one hoof.
Did I mention that Zagreus was standing by the edge of a cliff? I didn't? Well that explains the gigantic presence suddenly ascending before behind the confident unicorn and eclipsing him, temporarily blocking out the sun with its ascendance into the air.
Or, her ascendance. My teeth grit, vaguely recognizing the orange reptilian skin, dragon-esque features contorting into a snarl, the lower body possessing a sea horse-like tail as opposed to legs. The creature hovered with ease, and the familiarity over its appearance prompted my uncertain frown for a moment.
...Siren-!
My screwdriver barely reacted after me in time, pointing upwards yet again and firing more soundwaves, somehow retaliating and forming some protective means against the screeching and red barriers of the creature's sounds aimed my way, clashing against its blue rival colour. Still, my ears rung at the painful sounds and I winced terribly. Sounded like Cinch trying to sing. Dear God!
And from below, Zagreus commented oh so casually, "The best part? This siren holds five times the power than those weakling Dazzlings had."
"You're bluffing!"
A wicked grin and malicious gleam in pure dark eyes. "You won't have to ponder too long to bear witness. Destroy him."
By what, singing me to death? Luckily the siren ceased its first time, moving in next- Jesus! It- She was faster than I thought, almost perfectly swiping my face off with its scaly tail. Hey Starswirl, I thought you took care of the sirens ages ago!
The Dazzlings weren't the only members of their kind, I'm afraid. And Zagreus clearly has no qualms towards taking advantage of this fact. To best our current foe, brains are more required than brawn.
...Got it! As the siren was already turning, an irritated growl on its serpentine expression. Starswirl, got enough energy to summon a random portal at will.
You have a plan?
On my command. And on cue, the siren charged once again, the massive behemoth of a naturally seductive species rearing back its tail for another attempted swipe, since her upper limbs were apparently utterly useless. All it took was one dodge.
Now!
Zagreus leapt away from the uncontrollable siren, glaring in disdain and exasperation my way before his own horn glowed again in preparation... And quickly cancelling out after sniffing the air and eyes widened in newfound horror. "Oh no you don't!" And with a black flash, disappeared straight from the battlefield.
The siren was not so lucky, its large tangerine form barreling headfirst from the edge of the cliff into a glowing white portal big enough to fit her whole frame through, vanishing then before the portal followed in a contrast white flash.
...
Wait...
...
...I can't sense his presence too close by, Jack. You're in the clear.
Oh thank God! I huffed tiredly, grasping my knees with a few panting breaths. It worked! Hell yeah! They didn't see that coming, huh Starswirl?
Indeed. That was cunning on your part, Jack, take advantage of your opponent's lack of control for a split-second. It'll be a while yet, however, before we could perform the same trick twice; enough magic from my realm has been utilized enough for the day.
Fair enough... Though where did you send that siren?
Well, sirens are naturally born sea creatures, my young protege. It was only fitting I transported our friend to a deep level beneath the ocean, far from causing anymore harm for now. I must say, that battle was considerably shorter than I would have anticipated.
Tch. I scoffed with a wry smile. I'd have rather not dragged things on for too long; I've still only just eaten for God's sake. Zagreus escaped, again, but that was the sole negative side to this least that [BEEP]er will know better than to underestimate me just because I was human again, next time.
Which we can address at a later date. For now I would choose to acknowledge that rising smoke in the distance.
Rising smoke-?
My eyes lingered after gazing around the area, seeing the black trail rising into the sky from quite a walk away, over a few hills where the origins remained hidden. The same location where the next village was... And the same location where I sent Nightshade with our stuff for protection whilst I dealt with Zagreus just then.
"Oh God dammit!"
So, good news at least. There wasn't a blazing inferno going on throughout the village. The smoke mostly originated by a small unattended public fireplace. Whatever the Victorian era for stoves were called. Yep, once again another old-fashioned settlement; God it's like every time I travel to different eras in time wherever I go through this world.
Bad news? Sirens. Sirens everywhere.
And it was like a whole rainbow of them, hovering above the village like ghosts haunting the settlement and its townsfolk, emitting sounds of sweet melodies and echos which would seduce the average joe. Me? Completely human; the magic had no effect. Which was far more than I could say for the townsfolk.
What were the citizens doing, meanwhile?
"Get out of my way!"
"Me?! You were in my way!"
"Preposterous! You were in MINE!"
It's like that dilemma long ago all over again... For once, Starswirl sounded completely exasperated, as if having enough already of the creature's [BEEP]. I had assumed that dealing with three of their kind back then would make the message clear, but it seems so much time has passed and the message forgotten.
Yeah, I'm still against that decision, by the by teach. Effectively removing one danger from a world to endanger another.
Yes, my pride often blinded me in my... Well, 'youth' wouldn't be an apt description. But in my early days of travelling across Equestria, the repercussions of my actions were a trivial matter to be dismissed from my past eyes.
...I smirked-
And before you say it, Jack, yes I suppose the Princess did take after me in some ways under my teachings.
Good, pleased we cleared that up
After finding Nightshade, finally, for the owl deemed it fit to take shelter near a small tree a short distance from the town, retrieving him and my bag after expressing my relief that both were okay, it appears the presence of a human being among the citizens hardly fazed them or the sirens above. Instead, the ponies inhabiting this small settlement were far more content aimlessly bickering with one another.
"You're stepping on my dress!"
"You're getting mud on my hoof!"
"Why are you constantly tripping over me?!"
"Everything is always your fault!"
"My cookies!"
"I want a divorce!"
Whoa! Okay! Wasn't expecting THAT line in MLP... Christ. This world takes more bolder steps than [BEEP]ing Star Wars Rebels. I literally had a double take at the mare screaming at her obvious husband from the town fountain.
The siren's magic bring out the worst emotions in us. Fortunately, the feelings in question are not so genuine, merely fabricated to further feed the creature's insatiable hunger.
Well, they seem to be fully ignoring me, as though my being here wasn't even a thing. Guess they were so busy gorging themselves over the negativity of the Equestrians... Whom were now busy knocking one another over and kicking innocent things away without provocation, the sight of such angry, hateful behaviour from such a pacifistic species.
...
Well, after seeing how they reacted against the friendship journal, I wasn't too sure about this species anymore, honestly.
But more importantly, focusing on how to defeat these sirens was the next step. So far all they were doing was gliding about and humming those tunes again, appealing to the ears of the equines and sucking in as much negative emotion as possible. Better prevent it before possible bloodshed occurs.
Or... Murder, at least, without any blood being split. Now, how to defeat this cascade of [BEEP]es? Magic was out of the question, and Starswirl couldn't open anymore large portals anytime soon. Meanwhile, I couldn't just simply reach up, grab their tails and hope for the best... Could I?
Probably not.
Let's see... Well, thinking back, Sunset and the girls managed to best the Dazzlings through the magic of music. So the evident advantage there was non-existent... Wait...
Not precisely non-existent, my dear student. A method of besting the sirens is turning the wondrous power of music against them.
"Why do you hate children so much?!"
"What is your problem?! Leave me alone!"
"You're a waste of space!"
"I wish I never had you as a brother!"
"Stop eating my muffins!"
"Where is the modesty in this town?!"
But... But I couldn't sing! Or play music of any kind! Might as well summon me, well, a bazooka! That would be more effective at this point! I mean the only practices I had were the piano as a kid, and recent guitar lessons with...
With...!
I blinked, a plan slowly forming in my own mind with a growing sly smile. But hang on: Again, I had no magic to utilize. Playing a guitar and singing horribly would accomplish nothing in driving the sirens back!
Perhaps one would assume. Came Starswirl's calm response. Music, however, is a form of magic entirely separate on its own; an ally to Harmony, Chaos and Balance but loyal in its own realm. The power it resonates through all that hear it, corresponding and shifting to whatever suits the needs of those who master it... Or even practice it. Music is a power for those who wield magic or not, and can fight back against anyone whom uses it for different means... Especially with malicious intent.
As if on cue, a familiar guitar suddenly appeared from thin air and into my hands, tightly gripped as I studied the instrument with a wide smirk. So what you're saying is, oh wise teacher of mine, that even WITHOUT magic, I can use my horrendous talents in repelling the siren's magic?
Well, I have no intention in sounding crass about the matter, Jack, but the generated mediocre performance would be enough to drive them off.
...
...
...
Good enough for me! Sorry Flash, hope you wouldn't mind me borrowing this- Ah who even cared how he felt? Time to rock this town!
Alright, let's see. Stage, stage... Ah, a small standing that'll do... Hold on, there's no means of plugging this guitar into something-!
Cartoon logic Jack. Blast to your heart's content! Pour all passion into the music, and it will be enough. A brief pause. Additionally, perhaps the screwdriver can provide assistance.
...AHA!
Grinning wickedly after leaping atop the small plank, the small device was in reverse grip and aimed directly down to the guitar, the sonic screwdriver buzzing and doing... Something to the instrument. Not sure what, but I trusted Starswirl's judgement in this. Done! Pocketing the device, I gripped the guitar as Flash had instructed back then, pulling the strap around my shoulder and waist before clearing my throat loudly, exclaiming to the two merrily.
"Fillies, gentlecolts and sirens of all ages!" All who heard paused in their actions, both species throughout the whole tiny village. Waiting for everyone's attention, I did what I did best next: Embarrass the everlasting [BEEP] out of myself! "Get ready for a special performance by yours truly! The one, the only, TWILIGHT WARRIORRRR!"
Who would've thought guitar lessons with Flash Sentry would save a whole town?! With a gleeful expression, I grabbed the small plectrum and lifted upwards, prepared to rock the whole town with my stellar and certainly unique performance.
Not seen since Rainbow Rocks! It's a nostalgia trip, but without the fond memories except when I made those student's ears bleed.
My mouth opened, and plectrum thrown down to attack the strings.
So it was all Zagreus, then?
It appears most likely, with his presence in the area and one siren under his hoof. Perhaps Zagreus coaxed the sirens from their seclusion beneath the sea to spread as much disaster and simultaneous imbalance prior to our arrival and intervention.
Hm. Still... Couldn't believe that actually worked.
I mean, really worked! I was still struggling to grasp that concept. My horrible singing matched with poor guitar skills WAS a definite contrast to the retreating sirens and their natural born talent for seducing others through melodies. Somehow, SOMEHOW, my means of driving them off... Drove them off!
Haha! I was still laughing to myself, even when laying against the soft bed of the small motel room given to me... For free! The townsfolk insisted after I snapped them out of it and literally scared the shrieking sirens off, thanking me repeatedly for my actions and vowing never to speak of my presence here for anyone. A small place of refuge to wash up and purchase more necessities before continuing on my way. Nightshade perched on a support beam, resting himself after a rather eventful day.
...Did I also mention that, alongside expressing their gratitude, the townsfolk requested I never sing in either their presence or hearing range of the village again? Good thing it was already a planned once-in-a-lifetime for them. I can leave the implausible singing talents to my bookworm of a girlfriend and my friends.
Hmhm. You think that's irritable, Jack, then perhaps I should neglect from informing you how the future of Miss Shimmer and your human friends shall proceed.
Oh God. Please don't tell me they start singing in concerts around the world and become instant celebrities.
Not yet, but they do possess their own tour bus and perform at small places for the entertainment of others.
[BEEP]. Only so much privileges those girls can have! If the whole world starts revering them as flawless heroes I was NEVER going back there!
Starswirl was thoroughly amused by my disgruntled thoughts and disapproving expression. Well, regardless Jack, today you've committed a deed in sparing these ponies from accidentally causing further to the town or themselves. I'm certain Mr. Sentry will be gratified for you using what he taught you as a means of saving the world.
...
Which you shall never mention to him, I imagine.
Not until my last breath. Even if we see each other one day in Heaven, I'll never tell the [BEEP]tard.
Heaven? It was my assumption you would condemn the young man to Tartarus if you could help it.
Nah, that special place has been reserved for another walking disaster. Not to mention, said boy's ego would make Hell too full for Flash to have a spot. Nah, I'll be stuck with him and other people I don't like in the afterlife.
But you're pleased with today's result, nonetheless?
Some rest, a few more glasses of water for this parched throat, clean myself up, buy more supplies and be on my way. Zagreus shouldn't be too far, and I'd rather not stick around in a settlement too close to the sea.
But to answer your question, Starswirl... Yeah. I shifted on the bed, head resting on palms with regards to the boring ceiling above. Yeah, I'm fine with what happened today. No one was seriously hurt, and the sirens were driven back to the deep oceans... Hey, maybe I should go on tour as a professional rock star across Equestria. If my singing doesn't entice anyone here, it'd be their first ever hearing to metal.
I thought your retirement plan was for becoming a librarian?
Well, maybe a teacher too. Who knows? I have a life ahead of me... Or at least, I did.
...
...
You don't have to face this alone-
Could we not? Please? I just wanna sleep now and rest up for tomorrow on the hunt for Zagreus. I'll worry about my own funeral arrangements after I track the [BEEP] down and seal him away forever... So let's just drop it, okay?
If you insist... Came Starswirl's reply, bordering on brief hesitation. But seconds passed by before the teacher stated with a renewed tone, one of nostalgia. Perhaps a bedtime story would help you sleep faster.
Pfft! I smirked humouredly. What was I Starswirl, five?
Humour me, Jack, for this confrontation today reminds me further of my own battle alongside my fellow comrades and friends against the sirens. Stygian gathered us first, of course, but before then we barely had enough time to plan before charging forward; the sight of the sirens terrifying the masses was far too appalling for us to even practice the meaning of patience and planning...