I drove down the highway once more, after my crying spell was over with, I silently went down the route to Ponyville once more. Quick looked at me, and my red eyes. I glanced at her and then looked back at the road she soon spoke up, "Are you going to be alright?"
I shifted the car into another gear, "Yeah I'll be fine. I just got a lot off my chest, I'll get better. Do me a favor though, look up family therapists on your smartphone."
"You were being serious?" She asked.
I nodded and turned on my turn signal taking the exit ramp to Ponyville, or well. The city closest to it, Ponyville is actually remarkably hard to find if you don't know where you're going, but I do. I lived there for several years it was easy for me. I turned onto a dirt road and Quick looked around, without saying anything I answered the question in her head. "Yes, this is the way to Ponyville." I then smiled as I realized that I had a muscle car that did best on dirt roads, I shifted into 3rd gear and hit the gas. Quick held onto the handlebar attached to the roof and I cackled all the way down the dirt path. I drifted the car to stop right in front of the welcome to Ponyville sign.
Quick just stared at me, "ARE YOU INSANE!?"
I looked at her, with an 'are you kidding me look' on my face. "I think we both know the answer to that."
"Right, why did you stop outside the sign?" Quick asked.
"Pinkamena Diane Pie, she has this sense about things, like an extra sense. She throws a party for everyone new in town, I don't know how her Pinkie Sense would react to me, because technically I'm not new." I took out a cigar and sat on the hood of my car, I lit it with my fire breath and put it in my mouth.
"Why do you smoke those things?" Quick asked, joining me on the hood.
"One of the most legal ways to take the edge off besides drinking or cigarettes." I said, "Besides, dragons have a high immunity to tobacco related cancers."
"Still don't get the last one." Quick looked at the sign and then the town.
"My best guess is magic, but who really knows?" I took a drag of my cigar, then let the smoke out through my nose.
"How long has it been since you've been here?" Quick asked.
"Almost two years. I spent a few months trying to figure out what I wanted to do, I finally settled on a private investigator."
"Was there anything else you wanted to be?" Quick asked.
"I was considering a cop or a forensic pathologist. But I didn't want to be shot at on a daily basis and medical school costs an arm and a leg."
"You still get shot at while being a private investigator." Quick pointed out.
"Yes, but not as much." I retorted and smoked my cigar some more.
"You're a very silly man." Quick pointed out.
"This is where I got it from." I lightly leaned back against my windshield and offered her a drag of my cigar.
She took it and took a drag from it, "So how are we going to solve a case, when you're the one that's supposedly 'missing'?" She asked.
"That is a good question, most of them think I'm dead, but Twilight is as stubborn as she is studious. She's not gonna fall for just any lead, it has to be proof, and that's where I'm stumped." I told her.
"You're a smart guy, I know you'll figure something out." Quick complimented and handed me back my cigar.
"Thank you, but where I'm smart. Twilight is smarter, she'll pick apart every little detail as if her life depended on it." I took another slow, deep drag from my cigar.
"So you're playing chess with Twilight?" Quick asked.
"If you think about it in the simplest terms, yeah I guess you could say that. Thing about that is, I always lost to her. Now, the prize is my freedom." I sighed and finished my cigar.
"Do you really hate them that badly?" She asked me.
"Well, not as much now. I wouldn't call it hate either, more like a deep seated resentment. They broke me down until I was nothing but either useful, convenient, or just there for a good laugh or two. Even when they showed and said that they cared, the next day it felt like that what they had said meant absolutely nothing or that they had never said it." I said, "Thing about that is, it can make you very insecure. I was insecure to the point where I thought an animal was going to replace me, those thoughts and actions from them just piled up, and you can only put so many straws on a camel's back until it breaks."
"Wow." Quick said, "Are they really that bad?"
"They're...self-centered....but they don't realize it. They don't mean to be, that's why I didn't really confront them. I just left, no warning, no explanation, just poof. Vanished." I said.
"So what's your plan of attack?" Quick asked me.
"I'm going to spend a day in 'Spike's' shoes." I said, "Tell them that in order to be able to track him down I have to know what he thinks, what he's done building a psychological profile. Which isn't entirely false, I'm just stretching the truth."
"Just be careful." Quick told me.
"Who's the investigator, me or you?" I asked her and she looked at me with an 'are you shitting me' look on her face, "Well as much as I would like to stay outside of Ponyville, we do have a job to do. I wish I could just stay here and shoot the breeze with you though."
"Quit lying." Quick said as we both hopped off the hood of the car, she walked over to the passenger door.
I opened the drivers door, "If there's one thing I don't do, it's lie. Testimonies don't hold up in court if you lie, plus the truth is funnier."
"How so?" Quick asked as she sat back in the passenger seat.
"I once had to say that the defendant uses hard taco shells to masturbate into. Restaurant wanted me to find out why their health rating dropped so drastically. That was in front of a jury of his peers." I chuckled, "I still remember the look on his face."
"Wow." Quick said, "I can't even begin to process how that must have turned out."
"10 years in jail and 2,000 hours of community service. He did some other things as well, but fucking with another person's food is not a light sentence." I started the car and pulled into Ponyville.
"So can you give me a run down of the place?" Quick asked.
"To give Ponyville credit, it's very hard to find if you aren't going by train. Tirek had a hard time coming here, he was lost for a day or two." I explained, "It was mostly settled by the Apple family, and then more farming families moved out here to make their livelihoods after realizing the ground had such fertile soil." I slowly pulled up to the Cozy Sleep Inn and got out, "I'll go rent a room."
Quick nodded and stayed in the car as I entered the main office once more, this time to a different motel and ordered a room, this time there were bedrooms with two beds available. We quickly unpacked our stuff and fell asleep, well...Quick fell asleep. I was still thinking to myself, about what had transpired earlier today. Maybe I could repair my relationship with the girls, but I have to pro/con the whole situation. I also stayed up because Aunt Luna could go into my dreams if she wanted to, but like everyone. I needed sleep, so I closed my eyes and soon I drifted off to sleep.
I woke up to some knocking, it was the thing I dreaded most when coming in to Ponyville, mostly because I didn't ask for a wakeup call. I got up and cracked my neck, put on my caster ring, and opened the door to see one Pinkamena Diane Pie and she had party clothes on she opened her mouth and I held up my hand. "We're here for work, not for pleasure." I interrupted her thought process.
"But, you can't stay in Ponyville without a welcome to Ponyville party." Pinkie pointed out.
"We're not moving to Ponyville, we're conducting an investigation. Or do you not want to find out what happened to your friend, also since I never gave you information about our location, this is considered stalking and harassment." I told her.
"But, my pinkie sense-"
"Doesn't hold up in the court of law." I said, "Unless you're giving out blowjobs or coffee, please leave."
Pinkie's hair deflated, a characteristic of hers since I had known her, she's very emotionally fragile. She stated so in the girls letter to my mother, almost like a balloon her hair deflates. Then it suddenly reinflated, "You're right, I apologize for my actions. If you would like in your spare time, I'd like for the both of you to come by my work and I'll treat you on the house, it's Sugar Cube Corner, you can't miss it."
"Thank you, but I'd like some more sleep." I closed the door and she skipped off.
Quick rolled over and looked at me, "Who was it?"
"Like I said last night, it was Pinkie." I said, "I kinda had to tell her that she was breaking the law in order to get her to leave."
"Don't the elements do that all the time?" Quick asked as she sat up in her bed.
"Not since last month, the girls were slapped with a huge ass lawsuit. I don't know the exact details but they're still having to do community service, and that's just for countless amounts of property damage." I explained, "How did you not know about this? It was all over the news."
"I hate the news." Quick said, "Every time I turn it on something bad happens."
"Get used to it, the world is terrible." I said as I hopped in the shower and quickly washed myself and dried off. I put some business casual clothes on, I then walked out of the bathroom. Quick had already changed, that girl would not bath unless I poured a bucket of water over her. "If I know Pinkie like I think I do, she'll gather everyone at Twilight's place and tell them I'm in town." I then put on my trench coat and looked at Quick, "You ready?"
She looked around and then nodded, we walked outside and she proceeded to the car and then looked at me as I walked down the street. Quick looked at me, "I thought we were taking the car?" She asked.
"Everything here is within walking distance. Would it kill you to get some exercise?" I asked her.
"No, but in terms of physical fitness. I'm much better off than you are, Mr. Jelly Donut."
"You're sleek and slender, as a Valkyrie should be, I'm bulky and tough as I should be." I stated, "I go to the gym every day I can."
"Whatever you say to make you feel better." Quick said as she walked alongside me.
I just sighed at we walked up to the huge crystal doors that was Twilight's palace. I went to knock but stopped, Quick looked at me and I whispered to her. "What if I don't like what I see?"
She put her hand on my shoulder and looked at me, whispering back she said. "I understand this, you're scared. No one is going to know, no one is going to find out. I promise."
"And if they do?" I asked her.
"Then we run, we run so far that gravity will have a hard time keeping hold of us." Quick said.
I took a deep breath, I then drew my fist back, letting gravity to allow it to fall forward knocking.