Amazing, simply amazing. You had never seen the X-Captain so defeated before. And his eye, it changed blue for some reason, as if to represent the intense feeling of sadness. It made you wonder then, did it turn red when he was in an intense rage? You’ve seen it happen, no question, but you could have sworn that was just his blood gathering into his eye or something. “Diamond, that was pretty cool. I’ve never seen him bend like that. I’ve taunted him before and all it ever did was make him angry, how’d you do that?” No seriously, how did she do that?
Diamond opens the floor door, but waits, and looks to you with a cheery yet cocky smile “I just told him how things were, It’s something I’ve always been able to do. Though…” She frowns for just a moment, lamenting her past misdeeds “It wasn’t all for the better though, sometimes I just really hurt ponies who didn’t deserve it. But now? I’m much better at it, and he clearly deserved to know that he’s just a no good and rotten evil ball.”
Huh, you should be pretty good at that too, right? It makes you wonder how you never managed it. Must be because you’re not a girl or something. “I see, well, heh, gotta remember to really stay away from your bad side then.”
“Oh, Anon” Diamond giggles “You never make me angry, so that isn’t anything for you to… wait, where’s Silver Spoon?” Diamond looks down through the threshold, but there was no filly in sight.
You felt a quick prick of fear, feeling she may have run off or even tried leaving the house through the front door. But just as you felt that startling feeling, it is quelled when you start hearing, what sounded like, movie previews. “I um… What’s that noise?”
You both decide to carefully descend the invisible gravity stairs. Luckily for you, it seemed you didn’t need to remind Diamond how to use them. When you both reached the bottom of the living room, you both saw Discord himself, sitting on his couch, watching a big screen tv with surround sound. It seemed he was watching some sort of movie preview about himself. But the most notable thing about this was that he had Silver Spoon held close to his side as he pointed to the screen. “I can’t wait for this one to come out. Who doesn’t enjoy an epic adventure story about a Draconequus and his dog?”
Silver however, was squirming, trying to escape, scared out of her wits. When she eyed the both of you, she couldn’t even get her words out, but her lips could be read as “Help me…”
Diamond however, was all too happy to see Discord, and was especially curious as to what he was doing. “Daddy Discord! Hi!” Diamond said in an especially cute manner, obviously vying for his attention. “What are you doing?”
“Oh, enjoying my movie, that’s all. Just recently came out on Blu-ray and I wanted to watch it on my big tv. And look, even your friend was curious too! She’s simply stunned at my amazing setup!” Discord said jovially.
“Um, I think she’s just really scared. Did you just pick her off the ground and sit her next to you or something?” The poor thing, you didn’t mean for her to get scared that much. She looked like she could faint at any moment.
“Of course not! I greeted her, hugged her, then picked her off the ground. I’m a gracious host, you know that! Although…” Discord curves his head to look at Silver, who ducks her own head and begs him not to hurt her “She does seem rather distraught. Ugh…” Discord grabs his remote and pauses the screen as he plucks Silver and sets her down on the floor “No use watching the movie if she’s just gonna go looney at any second. I know Anon has seen it on the silver screen, but Diamond, would you care to watch it with me? I promise it’ll be quite hilarious. Call it a father-daughter bonding. You’re invited too, of course.” Discord said as his eyes shifted to you “And don’t hesitate to ask for snacks. I have plenty for everypony!”
Silver rushed over and ducked behind Diamond, stuttering frightfully in her speech “H-he’s off h-h-his r-r-rocker! W-we gotta g-g-g-go home!”
“Oh, relax.” Diamond said with an eye roll “He’s just being himself.” She then looks to Discord with a smile “What movie are we watching? And what is all this? I’ve never seen a theater screen like that before, where’s the projector? And what’s a blue ray?”
“Oh, just a few things from Anon’s old place, if you know what I mean. As for the movie, it’s a-” OH holy shit no, you interrupt Discord before he could finish that sentence. The prank on Twilight? You knew for sure that’d upset Diamond.
“Ummm! Actually, we don’t have time for that! Maybe we can go back upstairs and check out…” Check out what, Anon? You fucking looked at everything already. Something Diamond notes as well.
“What’s more to check out? I want to watch the movie with you and your dad, it can be a family kind of thing.” Diamond says, curious as to what the movie even is, and enthralled by Discord’s set up.
“Yes, Anon, why wouldn’t you want to watch a movie where I prank Princess Twilight. Like a true expert, I might add.” Discord says, immediately getting into what the movie was before you could cut him off again.
“Oh no…” You whisper to yourself. Why is he doing this?
“You pranked Princess Twilight? Why would you do that?” Diamond, still curious, sounded a little hurt that Discord would do such a thing. Her voice becoming meek due to the words he had said.
“Why else?” Discord shrugs “It’s fun! Oh, come on, Diamond Tiara. I do know you are curious about our family doings and all that. And Twilight herself can be quite the prude who could use a good prank every now and again. Can you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t expect I, Discord, the master of chaos and fun, to not do such a thing? Would you denounce me for even thinking it?”
“Actually… No, I wouldn’t.” Diamond said, as she slowly began to approach him. “I did say I wanted to try it myself. I just never thought anypony would treat pranking Princess Twilight so lightly. That actually sounds…” She stops for a moment, reaches the couch, climbs up, and sits next to him, facing the screen “Really fun! A princess’s life is usually pretty boring after all, so I don’t think there’s any harm in it. Anon, why didn’t you tell me you pranked Princess Twilight?” Diamond asked you.
“Oh, he didn’t. This was all purely on me, I just provided him a good place to watch it. I would think he would tell you about it though. He had so much fun watching it, so it hurts me, just hurts me right here…” He points to a boil on his neck “to know Anon wouldn’t tell you such a thing in the first place. Or the fact he messed with Princess Luna last night. Got her good too, with just his words.” Discord then looked to you, as his eyes subtly glowed green as his head became vaguely like Chrysalis for a second “I wonder what other things he hasn’t told you”
“Luna? Other things? Anon, what is he talking about? What other things? If it’s just you pranking other ponies, I-I don’t mind. I’d like to hear about it, actually. As long as it’s not too mean of course.” Diamond now looked worried, and you were fucking pissed. For a moment, you almost thought he was Chrysalis. But given the home theater system, you knew that was him.
“Diamond, I need to talk to my Dad for a moment. Just for a moment, please? I’ll be right back.” Stay calm, Anon, don’t get tense. He has to have some reason he’s doing this to you all of a sudden. “Dad, if you don’t mind, please?”
“Oh, very well. Seems you don’t seem to understand what I mean anyway. Here girls” Discord snaps his talons, producing a huge bowl of popcorn on the floor. “Enjoy, I’ll be back in a minute or two and we can enjoy the show!” And with a snap of his tail fur, and before Diamond could interject, you are transported to an open and beautiful field of green grass and clear blue skies. Discord appears at your side, and takes a deep breath “Ahhh! Smell that air! Enough to calm you down and make you realize you’re being idiotic. That’s towards you, by the way.”
“Towards me?!” The serene scenery and Discord’s nonsense was doing nothing for your temper “The fuck is wrong with you?! Why are you telling her about last night like that?!”
“Well, I figured you didn’t tell her everything that happened. And given you both are supposed to be so close, it’s concerning she doesn’t know about your old bug friend. Even the crusaders know about her. What do you think would happen if you waited and waited and waited, and she found out some other way about it. A blurb there, a blurt here, it would really sour the relationship.” Discord said calmly as he began to rest on his back in mid air.
“Y’know, if Fluttershy didn’t already know, you’d fucking kill yourself before admitting you put me in danger with her.” You remind him
He falls to the ground with a grunt, then coughs nervously “Well, erm, that’s a tad grim, isn’t it? Besides, it wouldn’t be ok just to tell her straight out, it would have shattered her”
“But it’s totally ok to freak Diamond out, right? I have it fucking handled and you just suddenly want to fuck everything up! Even then, how am I supposed to explain to her that I was friends with Chrysalis?! Huh? Why even bring that shit up? It’s not that easy!” You bark at him, furious at his behavior.
“Well, aren’t we rude? Then again, I was going to take all the credit for the idea myself. But…” Discord stands up, and turns away from you as he ponders and mutters to himself “Why did I even listen to her?”
And you managed to catch all of that. Take credit? Her? Wut? “Discord, what the hell are you talking about? Take credit for what? Who is her? You don’t mean…” Fuck, did he run into Chrysalis? And worse, was he doing what she was saying for some reason?
“Twilight Two? Oh, what’s her name? Ahh, Starlight, yes, that’s it. This was all her completely garbage idea! I went to recruit her, we got into a conversation, and she basically told me that she was worried about the whole thing and felt you should tell Diamond sooner rather than later or something like that, I can’t remember the full details.” Discord said as he began to clean his ear with his talons.
WHAT?! STARLIGHT?! “So what you’re telling me is, instead of doing exactly what she said, or better yet, not doing anything at all, YOU DECIDED TO HALF ASS IT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?!”
“Oh, we all know the answer to that one. But if it means that much to you, we could just check with her and find out exactly what she meant.” Discord raises his talons as he prepares to snap “Ta-Da!” And he snaps them, causing a flash of light, and then Starlight to appear.
“...And you just thrust it forward, like this! And it should discourage whatever monster or crazy animal that might want to eat you for lunch.” Starlight, unaware of what just happened, seemed to have either been teaching a class or just a group of ponies how to use the taser. Too bad for you, when she appeared, she was right in the middle of thrusting the taser forward and right at you with her magic.
“WGDSAFRGRASRGFDGYAH!” Oh shit! Holy crap! That stung like a bitch! You spasmed from the shock before falling over, your mane frizzled, and your leg twitching “Agh! Ogh! I’m dead! I’m freaking dead!”
“Anon?! Oh my gosh! What are you doing there?! I didn’t even know you were with that caravan I was teac… Wait a second.” She looks around, and notices she was in an open field rather than the town. When she realized this, she grimaced, and sighed “Let me guess, you just decided to rush into things…” She then turns her head until she spots Discord, giving him a sour look “Didn’t you?”
“U-ugh, s-still feeling numb here…” You said as some sparks fizzled off from your mane. Even as Starlight helped you up and dusted you off, she didn’t pull her stare away from Discord.
“Can you blame me? Your explanation was so incredibly boring and nonsensical that it was better to get things over with right away. Besides, I only came to tell you about what to do for the wedding, not a lecture.” Discord, in his usual form, felt insulted by Starlight’s words.
After Starlight fixes your mane, she gently stands you up, then turns to Discord, her patience waning. “Don’t give me that! You came to me, worried, that something could go wrong and that I was the only one Anon knew who could help him in a pinch in case something happened. You told me you were afraid of her asking more personal questions as the wedding came closer. And what did I tell you?” Starlight asked, tapping her hoof on the ground as she awaited his answer.
“I dunno” Discord shrugged
Starlight’s eyes nearly flared up from anger as she shouted at him, furious at his nonchalance “I TOLD THAT CHRYSALIS WAS PROBABLY THE ONLY REAL BIG THING HE SHOULD TELL HER! AND I TOLD YOU TO HELP HIM THROUGH IT!”
Discord just calmly yawns, and flicks his ear with his talon “Excuse me, what was that? You totally lost me there for a moment.” Discord shrugged with a smirk “I mean, had you not suggested anything at all, Anon wouldn’t be in this mess, now would he?
“GRRRR, GMMNNN, mnnngh!” Starlight was fuming, about to shout his name. But unlike Twilight, she managed to calm herself when she thought about the more important matter of making sure things don’t blow up on you. So, she turns to you, and hopes you are willing to listen. “Anon, look, I know he is paying attention, and I know he’s only being a jerk because he wanted to prove some kind of stupid point. He just wants to prove not saying anything at all ‘is the best option’, but I know in my heart he wouldn’t just abandon you. So, please, just convince him, before I use my taser on him.”
You were in no forgiving mood yourself after what he did. You knew what he was doing, even if he himself didn’t weigh the consequences. He wanted to prove Starlight wrong by showing things would go wrong by mentioning something, not realizing how much shit it’d put you in. Well then, even if he would help you in the end, he’s going to need a rather stern talking to. “Oh no, I totally get it. Thanks for making things clear though, Starlight.” You then turn your head towards Discord, you weren’t having this. “Discord, you’re my pal, and chaos buddy. But you decided to step over the line like a total douche. You owe me your help at this point, you got that? That means not disappearing on me just because you felt you did enough. You gotta be there the whole way through.”
Discord groans, he hated being told that he owed anything to anyone, even you in situations like this. “And why should I? As I tried to tell Starlight, telling Diamond anything at all could ruin everything you have with her. Yes, I got lucky when it came to Fluttershy, but that just doesn’t happen twice in a row. And she needs to see that. So I ask again, why?”
You look at him, deep, serious, and even with a hateful sort of gaze. “Because I will never forgive you for ruining her heart like that, and even ruining my relationship with her family. They’re good ponies, Discord. Do you understand me? I really mean it, and I know deep down, you are terrified of that.”
Discord stopped, like, frozen in time. Then began to shatter from the bottom up until his bodily shards littered the ground. And yet, his voice could still be heard. “Y-you’d really hate me over something like that? No…” You didn’t even need to answer as he began to realize what he did wrong. “Of course you would, even Fluttershy wouldn’t talk to me for quite some time if I didn’t see this through. For you two to hate me. Yes, that would be worse than losing an argument.” And with that, time reversed on his fallen form, his shattered body reforming right back to here it had broken. “I apologize for being difficult. And to you, Starlight. I should have paid attention.”
“It’s alright, Discord.” It did take quite a bit of energy for Starlight to let this one go, given how assholish his motives were. But she knew how he was like, and knew, in the end, he didn’t mean any real harm. “Just, be more mindful of other ponies feelings, ok? At least when it comes to serious stuff like this.”
“Indeed, I will keep that in mind. Oh, and Anon” Discord tapped his talons and paws together sheepishly, his voice meek “We’re still chaos buddies, right? I-I do mean it, I’ll help you through this all the way. I understand how important this is to you.”
You took a breath, calming yourself, and look to him with a small smile and a slow nod. “Yeah, we’re still chaos buddies. Just don’t be shifty or cryptic about this either, alright? I want to get through this without any hassles. Please?”
“Noted, you will have no hassles out of me” Discord says with a courteous bow before turning to Starlight “I very much thank you for your time, Starlight. And as thanks, I present to you a token of my appreciation. It’s a blu-ray copy of my movie! Y’know, to preserve the moment for everypony, something I deem as very important when it comes to alicorn affairs.!”
“A what ray? You mean, a film reel? It looks pretty small” Starlight looks at it curiously, and gives it a tap. “Not that I wouldn’t mind having it, I know Trixie would still get a kick out of it.”
Discord closes his paw, and chuckles as he holds his talons over his forehead “Oh silly me, I forgot you need a television and a Blu-Ray player as well. I’ll have those magically delivered with some instructions as soon as I am able.”
“I uh… Ok. It sounds like more human technology though, which I wouldn’t mind having a look at, so I’ll be ready.” Starlight says
“I’m sure you will, ta-ta for now!” Discord says as he prepares a snap of his talons. “I have a son to help!”
“Goodbye Discord. And goodbye Anon, good luck! Though, I know you won’t need it.” Starlight waves to you.
And with a goodbye to all, you and Discord prepare yourselves to confront Diamond with the truth.