"Where are we?" the President of Taiwan asked.
Princess Celestia didn't quite hear her because she was racing Princess Twilight to somepony who could help her BEYOND shoving a bunch of tampons into bullet-holes.
"Good question. Beyond Equestria, I have no idea."
"You're at the Castle of Friendship!" Pinkie Pie said, quickly turning the former humans' vision into her pink face.
Tsai backed up, her heart going a mile a minute, "H... h..."
"Just accept it," Mitzi said, hobbling over to to the frightened woman, "You'll live longer..." Mitzi looked around, "I think."
"How... about we get you a wheelchair," Starlight said leaving the room, "It's... disturbing... to see you like that."
"She... seems nice," Tsai said before noticing her reflection, then freaking out again, "What is this!? A TUMOR!? CUT IT OFF!!!"
"It's a horn, Darling!" Rarity said, galloping over to her, "You have readily-available access to magic, Darling! It's not bad, and most certainly not a tumor, uh... you?"
"Tsai."
"I'm Rarity, Ms Tsai," she looked at the new unicorn's business suit and glasses, "You look like you mean business when you do something."
"Uh, thanks?"
"It's nice to meet you again, Ms Tsai."
"How... how do you stand?"
"Oh, don't worry about that right now. Starlight will be back-"
She burst through the door with a wheelchair, but also looking like she was in a war, "Princess Twilight!"
"We saw."
Levitating the chair to the new mare, she dropped to the floor.
"To say that physics has essentially just said 'Fuck this, and fuck everyone with it' would be a big understatement," Mitzi said as her and Rarity helped Tsai into the wheelchair.
"Hearing that-" Tsai said as the demonized Vice-Principal Luna was thrown through the portal, covered in needles, cuts, and bulletholes.
"***DAMMIT!!!!!"
"Like I said, physics... out."