You winced as Chitin dabbed a wet cloth over your face, trying to clean and sooth your red skin. "Careful with that, everything hurts right now. I mean, everything... I might be a little bit of a masochist, cause my dick is hurting, but it's getting hard, which is hurting it more, and it's creating this vicious cycle," you both complained and explained at the same time.
"Anon, just shut up for a moment," Ap commanded, even though the wide grin on her face seemed to indicate that she was anything but annoyed. She was not the only one, as Thorax, Pharynx, Luna, Celestia, and Chrysalis were joining in. You even saw a slight smirk from Vespa, whose eye was apparently getting better? There go your damn eye jokes.
"I come back from the dead and you want me to keep quiet? I'd say you should have left me dead, but clearly you couldn't wait to burn my body and dance in my ashes, you psychos," you snorted, even though you as well had a smile on. You didn't know the whole story, but you figured there was a good reason why they were lighting you on fire, especially since the princesses were in the same room as Chrysalis and nobody was trying to kill each other... unless them stomping the fire out was an unsuccessful attempt. In which case, fuck them!... well, probably literally, later.
"I'm surprised that there aren't any further damages left by the fire. You were ablaze for a good bit there," Pharynx pointed out, clearly astounded by your reddened, yet otherwise unmarred skin. Indeed, you were probably on fire for a good two or so minutes, yet outside of the redness and a few soot smudges, there was nothing that linked your body to having been on fire. It also left you totally naked, but it felt like something everyone had seen at this point already, although you noticed Celestia taking a few liberal glances at your ego. You'd risen from the dead in more than one way at this point.
"Yeah, so am I. Considering what Death told me, I was expecting to be barely hanging onto life. Of course I'd wake up to find my ass being lit on fire," you grumbled, irritated at how much more pain you were feeling than you had expected.
At this, Apocrita gave you a curious look. "Death told you?" she inquired, her confusion shared by the rest.
"Oh yeah... I died. Like, mostly so. Then I met Death. She was this alicorn skeleton chick in a robe, said her real name is Soul Harvester, but that's beside the point. We talked, we chilled... should have boned, but I was busy trying to come back to life and I didn't have the time to figure out how to have sex with a skeleton," you admitted, earning an irritated stare from Ap, but you just smiled back at her. "Anyways, she told me I could either go back to my world, no problems or questions asked, or I could come back her, potentially die immediately again, and then have my very soul shatter. Clearly, I chose to come back here, only to find you all torching me."
"We thought you were dead and giving you a proper Changeling funeral!" Chrysalis cried, trying to defend her actions.
You looked her over, recognizing how out of it she looked, then reached out, gently stroking her face. "Well... I suppose setting my corpse on fire is a pretty badass way to take things. So long as there is no lasting damage, all will be forgiven," you assured her. Chrysalis nuzzled into your hand, almost purring as she did so. Like a bout of magic had run through her, the dull exoskeleton returned to its lustrous black, while her hair seemed to return from the point of looking like it'd fall out.
"By the heavens, was that natural or shapeshifting?" Celestia asked, astonished by the instantaneous effect your love had on Chrysalis, and also looking a little jealous that the once enemy of Equestria was getting such attention.
"Of course it's all natural. It would be expected of the God of Love," Vespa stated dryly, her words drawing all eyes toward her. Noticing the reaction she had received, she sighed and said "Queen Chrysalis and... Queen Apocrita both declared that he was ascended to the pantheon, did they not? They even lit his cocoon, and so he emerged forth with a new life. I believe that qualifies as having fulfilled all our beliefs. Technically... he is a god to the hive."
"Oh... oh no," Ap muttered, realizing that her mother was right by all accounts.
"OH YES!" you laughed out, thrusting your arms into the air gleefully. Sure, you weren't the God of Sex, which sounded so much cooler, but you were actually considered a god! In a world of lords, ladies, princesses, princes, queens, and kings, you were a fucking god! "Worship me! Pray to Anon! Pray to the his divine staff! Ahahahaha!" you laughed maniacally, only stopping when Ap slapped your still sensitive arm with a hoof. "Ouch, that hurt," you whined, pouting at her.
"I'm trying to keep you from letting it go to your head. You're no different than before," Ap warned you, her eyes narrowed to convey such, although you could seen some concern as well.
"Nope, he's totally different," Chitin quickly overruled, stepping away from you.
"How is that?" you asked, hoping it didn't involve your penis... unless it was good. Then you wanted it to involve your penis.
Directing one of his hooves forward, Chitin held it just over your chest, right where Chrysalis showed you that impaling people isn't always fun. At least, it wasn't if you weren't the one doing the impaling. The wound had been patched with mucus from the two queens, which basically told you they threw up into your gaping chest wound. Also not happy about that. The result had left a greyish paste that had been trying to seal the wound, although after getting burnt, it had hardened and turned black.
"From my analysis, the patch job that Queen Chrysalis and Queen Apocrita used to seal the wound has interacted with the magical flames they produced to light your body on fire." Chitin began to explain, tapping the blackened mucus, which looked a little like a Changeling's exoskeleton at this point. "Because their magic, empowered through the love you had fed them, recognized your body as the source of its love. Furthermore, since love comes form the heart-"
"That's a total lie, it's used to pump blood and love is caused by chemicals in the brain," you interrupted, wanting to throw that out there.
Chitin glared at you for interrupting and replied "Well through magical system analysis, it has been proven that love is tied to the heart. So even though you lack a magical system, magic does not seem to ignore the fact that it was in the place of your heart. Magic that was formed from your own love. It had essentially cycled back to where it had originated from, but now actually magical. There, it rejoined your heart... which was in tatters, but because magic is the answer to most things, it was able to help repair your heart. Furthermore, seeing as the magic came from both of the queens, it now recognizes their magic as part of you. That is why the fire did not actually harm you."
"That... was a lot of words that I'm having a hard time understanding," Thorax admitted meekly.
"Idiot," you grunted, even though you were also having a hard time following. Best throw the gay moose under the bus and rise above it.
Rolling his eyes, Chitin tapped on the spot and said "Anon's heart is fixed, empowered by our queens' magic, and is now immune to damage from them." Turning back to face you, his face scrunched up and he added "I'd also assume that he now basically has queen magic in him, making him effectively immortal to the ravages of time."
"So you're saying... I'm immortal?" your smile growing once more, feeling like the muscles was going to rip through the skin from just how insanely wide it was.
"To aging and magic from our queens. Try not to get into fights with other beings, but otherwise, yes," Chitin stated. "Of course, this is all just conjecture, so we don't know if-"
Before Chitin could finish, you were suddenly propelled backward by a stream of golden magic that was fired off from Ap's antennae. The impact with the floor hurt, but considering the magic stream did not actually harm you, you were left staring up at the ceiling of the room.
Everypony turned to look at Ap in astonishment, shocked she would do such a thing. To her credit, Ap looked simply amused, then glanced to everyone else and shrugged. "What? If a magic fire wasn't going to kill him, did you really think that was? Besides, someone had to knock him down a peg before he started ranting about the Immortal God King of the Changelings," she defended her actions, an almost playful smile showing on her lips.
"To be fair, that was my next course of actions," you groaned, pushing yourself back up. You were just glad you didn't land on your dick. "Although, if I'm going to get the 'King' part added, I'll need to marry a queen," you grunted, stretching your body, making a point of showing off Excalibur. Most of the women had already seen it, but Celestia and Vespa hadn't, and seeing as you saw them both as the MILFs in the room, well... yeah, it was fun to fuck with them, even if one seemed to care less.
"Anon, cover your penis, please," Pharynx asked, also having taken notice. Oh, right, other men...
"Pharynx, quit looking at my penis, please," you counter, hands going to your hips proudly.
"Let us move along," Luna interrupted, coughing to draw attention away from your penis, even if she snuck a peek herself. Mission successful. "You say you wish to marry either Apocrita or Chrysalis to be the king?"
"Nope," you stated, watching Chrysalis face fall a little, some level of hope draining from her. Ap, on the other hand, seemed to know where you were going with this and simply rolled her eyes. "I'm marrying the both of them," you corrected. Seeing some mouths opening in response, you held up a hand to cut them off. "I'm going to remind you that I just recently died for both Apocrita AND Chrysalis. You know, stabbed through the chest and all," you stated, tapping a finger over the reminder of what had happened, as if any was needed. Chrysalis winced and looked down, unable to say anything in response. "And I came back from Death, who offered me a guilt free ride home... only, it wasn't home for me anymore. This is home. With you all," you announced, feeling the corny speech almost physically hurting, but it had to be done. That's how good guys won through in the end, right?
Pointing a finger at Chitin, then Pharynx and Thorax. "You guys are my bros. I can tell you shit, then you'll roll your eyes and likely mock me for it, but you're in my corner... well, two of you will, and the other will cry, but we all need a pansy to make fun of."
"Heeeey..." Thorax began to complain, but you needed the momentum rolling in your favor.
Looking to Vespa next, you said "You... are a total bitch who does not hesitate to go ahead and insult me... but I need that. I'm a big enough man, as made obvious by my erection, to acknowledge that I need someone to knock me down every so often, and while I'm sure Ap is willing to do that, you have the extra edge to really cut me down if I need it."
"I'm about to debate the 'big' part of that statement," Vespa grunted, even though you saw the sneaky smile on her face. Hah, she actually likes you now.
Turning to Luna and Celestia, you continued "You guys are like... well, my sister and mom, looking out for me and caring... although I've never had any wish to fuck my family before."
"Oh Anon, I'm so touched that you see me as your sister," Celestia sobbed, earning a confused look from Luna and the others.
"Sister, we believe you have that order mixed up," Luna muttered, but seemed unable to get her sibling to recognize what she had just said.
Looking back to Apocrita and Chrysalis, you said "And obviously, you two both know how I feel about you guys, but in case you have any doubts whatsoever, I love you. Hell, I fucked one of you into becoming Mothra and the other into having my kids. I've got an immortal life now and I want to spend it together with the both of you, because you're both amazing in different ways. I died once for you guys, and I'll do it again if I have to... but please, don't make me have to."
Ap stared at you for a moment, then sighed, shaking her head as she walked over to you. "You have a way of mangling words, yet still making them unusually lovable. You already knew where I stand, but let me remind you," she stated, stepping in close so she could press her lips to yours, engaging you in a short, yet intimate kiss. Her fuzzy body felt funny, but nice... and she was rubbing her fuzzy foreleg against your dick, shielded from the view of the others with her wings. As she pulled away, she whispered so you could hear "Show me just how much you love me later."
Fuck. This. Moth.
As Ap moved so you could look at Chrysalis, she seemed apprehensive, like she was going to have her head cleaved off if she accepted. Of course, as the newly declared God of Love, you probably could have ordered that, but that was a totally unnecessary thing.
"I... Can you really forgive me? For what I did to you?" Chrysalis asked, locking eyes with you as her voice faltered. "It's because of me that you died in the first place."
You simply shrugged, replying "I got better."
"A statement nopony has ever made before," Ap chipped in, smirking a bit at the oddness.
"Yeah, plus I'm immortal now. So if anything, you really helped me out... just... don't do it again, okay?" you tried to say cheerfully, wanting to help Chrysalis through this haze of self-doubt and concern. Besides, you planned on getting vengeance on her with a little impaling of your own... did you make that joke already? Fuck it, it's funny.
Chrysalis' eyes shifted to Ap, then back to you. "I... I do love you, but I'm not sure if I can get over it. We... we agreed to a truce over your death, but I really don't know if I can share you," she stated, gulping as she expected some push back.
Humming in thought, you tried to think of the best way to handle that statement. She was greedy, but then, you were too. At last, you could only shrug once more. "I can't make you accept her... even though as God of Love, I totally should, but I won't. I just ask that you give it a try. I think if you take the time, you'll learn things about her that will make you love her as well."
Something about what you said seemed to strike a chord in Chrysalis, her eyes flicking over to Ap, who only smiled back at her warmly, giving her a nod... the fuck was that about? Was something going on that you didn't know?... were they already fucking behind your back? Those bitches! Your corpse wasn't even cold yet, they made sure of that with the goddamn fire!
Your internal cursing ended as Chrysalis trotted over to you, pausing for a moment as she simply looked you in the eye, then just as Ap had, leaned forward to kiss you. You kissed her back, closing your eyes to enjoy the touch of her lips and odd, snake like tongue coiling around your own. Kinky. When the kiss ended, you pulled away to look at her and-
"WHAT THE FUCK!?" you shouted, shocked by what you saw.
Confused, Chrysalis looked down at her own body to see what had happened. Her body had changed once more, the black of her exoskeleton now white with a silver sheen. Her mane and tail were still green, but a lighter shade that seemed to undergo a sort of gradient effect near the tips that gave them a golden hue. She now had the weird gem/pearl things around the base of her neck that Thorax and Pharynx did, but around each was a ring of golden fuzz. And her wings, while still transparent, no longer held only a green tint to it, but rather seemed to remind you of a stained glass window, with different sections giving different colors. All in all... she looked rather nice. And even better, not like a gay moose.
"Huh, so that's what a Changeling who is already a queen looks like after she willingly gives her love?" Chitin murmured.
"Figures she'd look better off than us," Pharynx growled, angry that he and his brother would continue to be the butt of everyone's jokes for quite some time.
"Hm... she got to keep her fangs and horn," Ap noted, running her tongue over her teeth as her brow furrowed, antennae twitching in what you assumed was jealousy.
Noticing it, Chrysalis grinned at her. "I've got to have the leg up in some ways... my fiance," she stated, indicating she was accepting of your weird, three way relationship.
Wooting, you wrapped your arms around the two queens, pulling them in toward you. "I did it! United Equestria through the power of my penis, got two hot horse-bugs to be my wives (eventually), and am immortal! What could possibly go wrong now?!"