//------------------------------// // 23: Mirrors and Zombies // Story: Space Captain Pinkie Pie // by terrycloth //------------------------------// “Ow!” Rainbow Dash said, rubbing her cheek where she was pretty sure Raindrops had just left a hoofprint. “You threw an apple at my head,” Raindrops said. “And the Princess says you’re trying to take over Equestria. You’d better have a good excuse for this.” The blue and yellow pegasus had Rainbow pinned to the ground under the apple tree she’d been lurking in, spying on every pony. “It’s all a huge misunderstanding,” Rainbow Dash said. “You know I’d never turn my back on Equestria. But I’m not about to turn my back on Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie either, so I need your help. You and the whole weather team.” “For what?” Raindrops said, glowering. The glower was somewhat ineffective since Rainbow Dash was refusing to look her in the eye. “A double-tall, super-dense thunderstorm, in the mountains north of here. Twilight and Pinkie are going to land a building on it. From space.” Rainbow Dash grinned. “It’s going to be awesome!” “I’m pretty sure that’s treason,” Raindrop said. “Nah, just going AWOL,” Rainbow said. “Pretend I didn’t tell you why I need the thunderstorm. I’ll dye my fur or something so you can say you didn’t know it was me.” “Rainbow, they’re taking this seriously. Those kind of hijinks aren’t going to work.” “Fine then,” Rainbow Dash said. “It’s treason. Worst comes to worst, we all get our heads chopped off or something.” She rolled her eyes – no pony had actually gotten the death penalty since the pre-classical era. “That’s still better than going up in one of those death traps. I mean, you know the Jelly Jar didn’t work, right?” “It got you to the moon,” Raindrops pointed out. “After nearly killing us half a dozen times!” Rainbow said. “Without Pinkie and Twilight, we’d never have made it. I mean, for Pony’s sake, you’re using ropes for a harness, and I don’t see anything like a sun-shield. These don’t even have ovens.” Raindrops frowned. “Look,” Rainbow Dash said. “Every pony you’d be going up there to arrest is coming down off the moon tomorrow night. No pony in Equestria is going to miss the re-entry – it’ll be way flashier than mine was, and I made a freaking Rainboom! There’s going to be an army waiting to arrest Twilight and Pinkie no matter what – all I’m asking you to do is make it so they find the two of them alive and in one piece, and not spread in tiny pieces all over the landscape. Maybe you’re disobeying orders, but there’s no way it’s treason.” “I’m pretty sure it still is,” Raindrops said. “Look, I’ll even turn myself in, if you help – you know they’d never catch me if I don’t,” Rainbow Dash said. “PLEASE! I can’t do this without you. I don’t even know how to calibrate the cloud density – you’re the pony with all the freaky cloud math!” “I hate you so much,” Raindrops said, gritting her teeth. “Why are you always doing this? How am I supposed to know I can trust you?” “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a –“ Rainbow Dash started, but Raindrops cut her off. “I don’t think a Pinkie Pie swear is going to cut it, since she’s one of the enemy,” she said. “Make a Cherry Berry swear.” “A – huh?” “She’s the new element of laughter. We’re not supposed to know but they were talking about it when they walked past us,” Raindrops said. “That means she should be able to enforce oaths.” “I don’t know,” Rainbow Dash said. “Pinkie Pie was doing Pinkie Pie swears way before she was ever the element of laughter. And what the hay is a Cherry Berry swear anyway? Do you know the words?” Raindrops grumbled, and shook her head. Rainbow Dash looked up at the faint glow of the moon just visible through the winter cloud-cover. “How about, with Luna as my witness, I swear that I’m not planning to hurt Equestria or any pony living here, and that what I’m asking your help with is something I really need to do to save my friends’ lives, and that we’ll all turn ourselves in after every pony’s safe on the ground.” Through a small break in the clouds, a thin moonbeam illuminated the pair. Both of them shivered, and fled farther into the shadows of the orchard. Luna was a great princess and all, but that face on the moon was creepy. === Twilight’s mirror exploded. Again. She sighed, and cast a mending spell to put it back together. “I hope Tess is done fixing the computers soon. This is going nowhere.” Pinkie Pie continued to stare into her own mirror, intently. “At this rate, you’re going to make a magic mirror before I do!” “Oh, I’m not making a magic mirror, Twilight,” Pinkie Pie said, giggling. “I mean, I’m not a unicorn. I’m just waiting for mirror-pinkie to mess up and give away that she’s not really me, and then I can get her to do whatever I want.” “I think that only works with magic mirrors, Pinkie,” Twilight said. “You can’t warp an ordinary mirror. It’s just reflecting light.” “You say that,” Pinkie Pie said, “but I’ve got mirror-Pinkies stashed all over Ponyville.” “In case of a mirror emergency?” Twilight asked, with a chuckle. “Nah, mostly it’s to keep an eye on ponies who break Pinkie promises,” Pinkie Pie said. “Although it’s helped me chase down Rainbow Dash a couple times.” Her face fell. “Oh, don’t tell her how I do it, Twilight! It’s so much fun to see her freak out!” Twilight suddenly looked nervous. “That Pinkie Pie in the mirror, when I broke my promise to Spike last year --“ “Yeeeesss?” Pinkie Pie asked leaning towards her. “That wasn’t a hallucination, then.” “Nope!” the pink pony replied, closing her eyes and looking smug. “They can’t… they can’t come out of the mirrors, can they?” Twilight asked, pulling back a few inches. Pinkie Pie rested her chin on a hoof, and went, “Hmmm…. you know, I never thought of that! I mean, a mirror’s a window, and not a door, but Rainbow Dash goes through windows all the time. It usually breaks the windows, though – I’d have to figure out how to open them…” Twilight whimpered. “Just kidding!” Pinkie Pie said, giggling. “They can’t come out. Not without magic, anyway, and I don’t have any magic because I’m just an earth pony. I guess one of them could ask the mirror-Twilight to let them out, but she’d probably just give a lecture about how dangerous mirrors are if she believed me at all. And every pony else always just says I’m ‘being Pinkie’, whatever that means.” She rolled her eyes. “You probably shouldn’t have told me this,” Twilight Sparkle said, looking around nervously, and setting her own mirror face down on the ground. “What if the mirror image Twilights were just reacting the way I’d react, and now they’ll all believe you because you told me how it worked?” “Let’s try it out!” Pinkie Pie said, setting her mirror face up on the floor between the two of them. She pointed a hoof at Twilight, and commanded, “Ensign Sparkle! Teleport me out of this mirror world, and into the real world through this mirror!” “What?” Twilight said. “I mean, you don’t think we’re the real Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle, do you? We’re just images, and I’ve been playing along with the real Pinkie Pie because I don’t want to have to do her stupid chores. But now you trust me about the mirrors, right? Because I told you how they work and ruined everything? So let’s leave this mirror world and go play with the real us!” “What?” Twilight said, looking down at the mirror, which remained an ordinary mirror. “Huh,” Pinkie Pie said, staring at Twilight, then pacing around her to look at her from different sides. “I guess I was wrong. You’re not lecturing me at all! You’re just sitting there going ‘what’.” “What?!” Twilight said, standing up and turning to face her, one rear hoof slipping as she stepped on her own mirror, cracking it. Reflexively, she cast the mending spell to put it back together as she set her hoof somewhere more stable. Pinkie Pie giggled, and kissed Twilight on the nose while she was too distracted to dodge. “Wait,” said Twilight, eyes focusing on Pinkie’s face. “I get it. Since the mirror isn’t warped, you were play-acting here to get the mirror-Pinkie to ask the mirror-Twilight the same thing, and see how she’d react.” “That, or we really are the mirrors. How would you tell?” Pinkie Pie asked. “How would I tell?” Twilight asked right back. “You obviously know how to tell, if you can get your mirror-Pinkies to do tasks for you.” “Well, duh, of course I know,” Pinkie Pie said, rolling her eyes. “I always know exactly how real I am. How else would I be able to make mirror-me mess up? If we were exactly the same pony, then even if I was being totally random we’d be random together.” “Exactly how real?” Twilight asked. “Do I want to know what that means?” “Nope!” Pinkie Pie said. “But I’ll tell you anyway. I’m the most real Pinkie I’ve ever seen, but this isn’t the realest reality there is. There’s a few more notches on the scale.” Twilight frowned. “So, what – Chance is right, and this is all some sick pony’s game?” “Maaaybe?” Pinkie Pie said, shrugging. “Or –“ Twilight said, eyes going wide in a panic. “I’m still petrified! I failed the final test, and I’m just a statue of a little filly in Celestia’s statue garden! You’re the Pink Harbinger of Doom I set to remind me that I still haven’t been let out!” Pinkie Pie giggled, then took a step back and laughed out loud. “Oh, that’s a good one Twilight! If this is your fantasy world, you have some serious problems,” she sniggered. “Although you are a bit of a Marey Sue.” Twilight sighed. “I guess no pony can know for sure whether the world is real. Except you, apparently. So it’s just a special-case of skepticism.” “No,” came Tess’ voice from the transmitter, startling both ponies who hadn’t realized she’d turned it on when she left to go ‘un-derp’ the rest of the ship, “it’s a perfectly ordinary case of skepticism.” “I’m more interested in these ‘mirror-Pinkies’ you have working for you already,” Chance said. “You say they’re all over Ponyville? Do you have any way of communicating with them?” “Yep!” Pinkie Pie said. “And?” Chance prompted. “What’s happening down there?” “No pony’s broken any Pinkie Pie promises, although a couple of them made new ones,” Pinkie Pie said. “Rainbow Dash almost made one but changed her mind at the last second.” “…right.” Chance said, disappointed but not surprised. === Rarity laughed as she braided Shining Armor’s mane. “Imagine if Princess Mi Amore Cadenza could see you now,” she said, carefully weaving in the colorful ribbons. After all, just because he was the token colt present didn’t mean he got to skip the ‘makeover’ phase of the sleepover. After Trixie’s dare to dye her hair green, and Fluttershy’s dunk in the pig pen, it was obvious that Truth or Dare had run its course for the night. “She’d probably giggle like a schoolfilly,” Shining Armor said. “She’s not one to take anything too seriously.” “Sounds like my kinda gal,” Cherry Berry said. “Don’t suppose you two are looking for a third?” Every pony stared. “Not any time soon,” Shining Armor said at last, looking least shocked of any pony. “We’ve only been married for a few months.” “How about a court jester?” the pink and yellow pony offered. Suddenly, the door burst open, and a pair of unicorn guards rushed inside, one turning to hold the doors closed with his magic while the other gave a terse report. “Captain, the pegasi are gone.” “Gone how?” Shining Armor asked, standing up and looking back at him as seriously as a stallion could with his hair half-ribboned. “Missing,” he elaborated. “Also, zombies.” The barn door shuddered as somepony tried to buck it open. The second kick made the unicorn holding it closed strain and take a step back. Rarity stood up to offer her own magic in support, but before she could really get started, Shining Armor’s horn flashed, and a purple light washed over the barn, outlining the doors, walls, floor, and roof with a purple force field. “That should hold until next Tuesday,” he said, sitting back down. After a second, Rarity followed suit. “Now explain what’s going on.” Applejack pounded her hooves against the force field covering the barn’s rear door. “Let me out! My family’s out there!” Fluttershy continued to huddle on the floor in a tiny shivering ball. “It started with the pegasi, sir,” the guard reported. “They were all whispering something to each other, arguing about something, and then they all flew off in a flock into the orchard. Shifty and Fog snuck off to keep an eye on them.” “This isn’t funny! Let me out!” Applejack shouted, turning to buck the door ineffectively. “What did they see?” Shining Armor asked, ignoring the commotion, along with the other pounding the force field was taking from all sides, as the zombies tried to break in through the doors and windows and even the walls. “They didn’t say. A few minutes later they came back and ordered the whole Jelly Jar complement, including all the earth pony recruits, to follow them into the orchard for a counterstrike. Silver and me stayed back to guard the Jars and the Elements.” “What elements?” Shining Armor asked, deadpan. The guards stared at him. “Never mind, go on.” “NNNGH!” Applejack whirled around and hurled a huge, heavy hay bale into the force field, where it exploded into a cloud of drifting hay. “Then about fifteen minutes after that, they all came back. Only they weren’t acting normal. They moved like they were in a daze, and started smashing the Jars –“ “What?!” Shining Armor said, shocked. “Do you know how much it cost to get those made on short notice?” “The jars can be fixed,” Rarity said. “Glass isn’t quite my specialty, but it’s close enough for a mending spell.” She glanced at Applejack, who was sobbing as she slammed herself into the force field again. “Our concern should be the ponies trapped out there with those horrid undead!” “They’re not really undead,” said the guard who hadn’t been talking. “It looks like some sort of mind-control enchantment.” “Oh, my!” Rarity said, sitting up, alarmed. “Little pink hearts in their eyes?” The guards both nodded. “Well, then, we might as well get back to our sleepover. Would you two like to join us?” “Rarity! How can you say that?” Applejack demanded, turning to glare at her. “Applebloom’s still out there somewhere!” “Please, think, Applejack,” Rarity replied calmly. “If the ponies outside have been turned into… ‘zombies’… who do you think cast the spell responsible?” “Well… Twi must have done it, I guess,” the farmpony admitted. “But she ain’t in her right mind!” “She’s right,” Shining Armor said. “Twiley would never hurt any pony if she didn’t think she needed to. If she decides to take your family hostage, we’ll get a ransom note or some other form of demand before she harms any of them.” Fluttershy squeaked, and Applejack’s eyes went wide. Rarity said in a quiet sing-song voice, “You’re not helping!” Trixie, until now frozen in… indecision, took this moment to make herself known. “Then we must kidnap the orange pony’s sister before the zombie horde can get to them! Leave this up to the Great and Powerful Trixie, who – through months of harrowing ordeals to gather the knowledge and power of the great unicorns of old – has perfected the arcane art of teleportation!” There was a flash, and a cloud of smoke, and she was gone. Shining Armor stared at the smoke. The guards looked over at him. “So… where did you send her?” one of them asked. “The ward isn’t set to redirect teleportation,” Shining Armor said. “I thought we might need to use it to get away, and every pony in the guard knows better than to try to teleport through a security ward.” “Security through obscurity!” Cherry Berry said, grinning. “Genius!” “No,” Shining Armor said, “it’s not. And now I can’t put up a ward because we have to wait for Trixie to get back with Applebloom! If any pony saw her teleport out, we might be in big trouble. She knows how to be subtle, right?” There was an overwhelming flash of light and sound and magic as thirty-eight zombies, half of them guard unicorns and the other half earth ponies coming along for the ride, teleported into the barn. Trixie’s unconscious body thumped at Shining Armor’s hooves. “That would be a no,” Applejack said, bracing herself for a fight. Cherry Berry looked up nervously at the heart-eyed stallions and mares surrounding her. “At least Applebloom is safe?”