When Dan climbed his way back to the Plasma Frigate again, another person had joined the group. A man just bit shorter than Phoenix stood with Barro and Michael discussing something with them.
"Ah, Dan, there's someone I want you to meet," Barro began.
Dan held up his hands. "Okay, I'm going to let go the fact you tossed me over the side. Everybody gets at least one Dan Freebie."
"Do I get a Dan Freebie?" Phoenix asked.
"No. So who's this?" Dan looked over the new arrival. He was an armored figure, only the lower half of his face exposed. The rest of him was covered in green armor that matched the forest behind them. Dan didn't know if that was intentional or not, but the person appeared to be human. And he had a lightsaber clipped to his belt.
"Dan, this is Master Rals Bradaig, a Jedi Master. He was summoned here some time ago and he has some valuable information for us," Barro explained.
"Hello," the Jedi said to Dan.
And Dan looked over the green-armored Jedi from head to toe. Then looked back to Barro. Then back to the Jedi. Then back to Barro again. And finally, Dan said, "A Jedi. An actual freaking Jedi. So what, you can just summon your own space ninjas whenever you want now?"
Barro shook his head, an action mimicked by Michael. "I didn't summon him, Dan."
"You just SAID you summoned him."
"No, I said he was summoned here."
"Some time ago," Michael said, "our broadcast satellites picked up some strange transmissions coming from somewhere out in space. Barro and I asked Luna if we could summon a spaceship to help us track it down. We summoned one, which is where all the rest of these guys came from."
Dan frowned, clearly not amused. "So you didn't summon HIM, you summoned a ship and he came with it. I'm sure Twilight would probably question the effectiveness of a 'package deal' summoning spell."
"She knows about it," Barro stated flatly. "Summoning people is tricky- you can't summon someone or something if their own universe is going to miss them for very long. So, we summoned a few ships that we thought had been destroyed and it turned out they were just lost. And Equestria found them."
"When we were out at sea, we used Vinyl's bass cannon to map the ocean floor," Phoenix said, remembering back. "We found out the seafloor is littered with sunken ships. Ships that were thought to be lost on Earth."
"Like, pirate ships?" Michael asked.
Dan shook his head. "Not like the chicken-headed lions and their flying life preserver ships, no. But if you've had this guy all this time, WHY didn't you tell him to go destroy Rice with his laser sword?"
"It's a lightsaber, actually," Rals interjected.
Barro shrugged. "You try getting him to do that."
"Alright, fine. Ninja-man! Jedi dude, what did you say your name was?"
"Master Rals Bradaig of the Jedi Council," he said, placing his fingers together in a gesture of serenity.
"Right, Brad, I need you to go take out a scientist for me. He's about this tall, tan, labcoat, weird-looking metal shoes and hands, talks a lot and has this evil sneer he does," Dan explained. And Master Bradaig just stood there. So Dan said, "Please?"
"A Jedi never uses the Force to attack," Bradaig stated.
"The *fuck* does that mean."
"It means he won't help," Barro clarified.
The master raised a finger saying, "Violence isn't always the answer. Have you tried reasoning with Rice?"
Have you tried reasoning with rice? The words echoed in Dan's mind like his head was hollow and his voice was bouncing off the interior walls. He stared blankly at the Jedi for a solid minute.
"Oh," Dan finally said. "He's one of those guys."
"You're a pacifist," Phoenix surmised, the way he phrased it inviting an explanation.
"In a way," he answered. "I do not seek violence. It is not the Jedi way. But conflict, as with all things, can occur and when it does-"
"Ask him how many people he's killed," Barro stated flatly, derailing the wisdom lecture.
And the Jedi Master frowned at him. "I would ask you, please, not to describe it like that."
"How many people have you killed?" Dan asked enthusiastically, starting to hop. "OH. OH. OH. OH. OH. OH. OH. OH."
"Down, boy," Phoenix said.
But Dan''s enthusiasm could not be contained. "DO YOU LIKE REVENGE? Oh my gosh, seriously, if you like revenge, then hello new best friend! Where have you been all this time? Welcome to the gang, my name's Dan, this is Nicky and we've got pirates and robots and I have a tank- have you seen the tank? Let me show you the tank, buddy you're gonna-"
Dan reached for Brad, had even decided on calling him Brady and inducting him into the team when Brad the Jedi held up a hand and said, "Revenge is not the Jedi way."
"Get out."
"Dan, be nice to the man and his religion."
"Get out now." Dan snarled, reminding everyone why he will likely never be a Jedi. "You two news doofuses go with him," he said, pointing at Barro and Michael.
"You'll have to forgive Dan, he's... well, no, wait. I guess you don't have to forgive him, he probably doesn't care," Phoenix explained. Dan continued snarling behind him. "I'm Phoenix Wright, defense attorney."
"Pleased to meet you. As Barro said, I do have some information for you," Brad said, and pulled out a mask, the mask of someone's face they knew.
"A Vice Grip mask?" Phoenix asked. "Where did you find this?"
"I picked up from town hall after Rice removed it."
"I would like to punch that mask."
Phoenix looked at it. It was well-made, flexible but simple. It was kind of surprising how none of them had noticed the scientist had been wearing a mask before, but then again, maybe he wasn't always wearing one. Or maybe it was part of the magic. Either way, Dan continued tugging on the cuff of Phoenix's jacket.
"Careful, you're gonna rip... rip..."
"I would like to punch the mask. And then stab it. And then set it on fire. Maybe punch it again after all that was over. Run over it with the tank for good measure. Couple of times," Dan said.
The one remarkable feature about the mask Phoenix noticed was the seam. Or rather, the fact there didn't seem to be a seam. This explained why none of them noticed it before; it was THAT good. And only one pony in Equestria was that good at sewing.
Phoenix bit his lip. "Rarity made this."
"What?"
"What!?"
Dan grabbed it, stuck his head halfway inside and asked "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT?!?!"
"I'd recommend not doing that stuff you said you were going to do to the mask while you were wearing it," Barro said. "Also, WHAAAAT?!"
Michael looked at the mask after carefully removing it from Dan's head. "I think I saw this at the day spa..."
"The Ponyville DaySpa!" Dan exclaimed. "There were a bunch of masks there! Creepy, weirdo voodoo masks!"
"You went to a day spa?" Phoenix asked.
"Yes! Before you were here. And remember that pink goo? We saw that stuff the first time at the spa," Dan said, remembering back. The Day Spa, where Vice Grip's henchman Yes Man was trying to turn the town into mindless zombies using that pink goo, what they thought was shampoo at the time. What was the connection?
The pieces were still coming together, but not quite fitting together. Rice Puddinghead, the former chancellor of Ponyville, masquerading as his own son that was killed in an assassination attempt meant to kill him, now trying to reclaim control of Equestria... for what purpose?
Two of them knew the answer to that question: Marksaline and Fluffle Puff.
The assassination attempt, Twilight returning from the Crystal Empire, Dan's arrival in Equestria, all three sets of events were continuing to have a major impact. Rice was trying to manipulate them to do something, to "change the future" as he said. But what it really seemed like he was trying to do was change the one thing that can't be changed: the past.
"Was Rarity working with Vice the whole time?" Phoenix asked. "This is definitely her work. And he's been wearing it since before Rarity and the others went missing..."
Dan folded his arms. If there was one thing he hated most, it was traitors. Traitors and hypocrites. Traitors, hypocrites, and people who start sentences with "I mean." That's the FIRST THING you said, you can't clarify a statement you HAVEN'T MADE YET. Also, people who roll down the window in the car AND leave the air conditioning on. There is NO POINT in doing that- you're wasting good A/C. And another thing- who in the hell is making ice cube dispensers dispense so much ice at one time? I just need enough for a freaking drink, I'm not trying to fill a bowl EVERY *squee*ING TIME I NEED ICE!
"Well, thank you for this information anyway. Hopefully, we can find Rarity before-" Phoenix looked up. Brad was gone.
"Another thing," Barro said, "Master Bradaig is a Jedi Shadow. He can use the Force to turn invisible. Helps him with his job."
Dan pinched his brow hard. "I'm just gonna forget the fact you've had your own ninjas all this time."
Barro shrugged. "I haven't asked you about any of your friends. And as a reporter, I SHOULD be asking the questions. But now back to your problem- you need to get to space, right?"
Dan and Phoenix nodded. Michael also nodded for some reason.
Barro nodded back at them. "That's what I thought. Unfortunately, with Ponyville being defunct, you're out of options for launching facilities. None of Gust's airships or the Danfiant are going to be able to break atmosphere with the current power they've got, so what you need is something to get you that power."
Dan nodded again. "Yes yes, and you have that I presume?"
"Not me particularly, but I can point you in the right direction," Barro said, and he pulled out a map of Equestria. "All's Well, New Mexicolt. It's southwest of the Rockyroad Mountains. The donkeys have their own secret facility there. That's how we can get to the moon."
Grinning, Dan grabbed the map. "Yes, yes, perfect. Now what about a distraction?"
The Earth pony anchor sighed. "I'll provide it myself. I have one ship left- just one."
"One ship?" Dan raised an eyebrow. "Like a dreadnought? Carrier?"
"A fighter. Don't worry, it'll be enough," Barro assured him. "Also, I'll need to borrow your tank and the Plasma Frigate."
Dan sighed heavily through gritted teeth. "Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffine. I'm going to go tell Twilight- you let those jackasses know we're coming. And the donkeys, too."
"Duly noted," Barro replied. Dan and Phoenix left the Plasma Frigate to go find Twilight and the others.