//------------------------------// // Chapter 20 - White Alicorns Can't Act // Story: Magic on Sweet Apple Acres // by Blade Star //------------------------------// The next week was a rather special occasion for everypony. It was an anniversary, a very unusual one, but an anniversary nonetheless. This week would mark 1,111th anniversary of Princess Celestia raising the sun for the first time, when she and Luna first took over stewardship of the sun and moon, relieving the ancient unicorn council of their responsibilities. And let me tell you, considering that each time a group of unicorns raised the sun, it completely depleted their magic permanently, it wasn’t before time. That day had also marked when Starswirl himself crowned the pair as princesses, and authority was passed to them, creating the political system we recognise today. It had been Pinkie Pie of all ponies who had come across this interesting piece of knowledge. It was certainly a surprise to me. It was also quite interesting too. If Luna literally was banished for one thousand years precisely, then based on this, the two sisters had reigned for just over a century before Luna’s fall. It was an interesting tidbit of knowledge to somepony like me who has a keen interest in ancient Equestria, a period that has until recently, been pretty much lost to history. Now, Pinkie had obviously run to tell Twilight about the upcoming special occasion, or one-versary as she called it. As the undisputed master when it comes to parties, the alicorn had partially deferred to the earth pony in regards to how to celebrate it. Between the two of them, they’d come up with the idea. They would put on a play for the princess, telling the story of how she first came to raise the sun that first day over eleven centuries ago. Twilight had promptly gone up to Canterlot Castle to invite the princess down to Ponyville. Her plan was to rope her new students in as actors in the play, teaching them a little bit about Equestrian history in the process, particularly her six star pupils. Celestia of course, was more than happy to indulge her own former student and readily agreed to attend. I was surprised to learn that Celestia herself is quite the fan of plays. I’m not quite sure why, but despite my close friendship with Luna, I’ve always seen Celestia as a princess, rather than just another pony. It’s understandable in a way I suppose. Most of Equestria looks up to her as a sort of surrogate mother, even in adulthood. But there was something novel in Twilight’s description of the usual regal and serene diarch prancing about her throne room in foal-like glee at the idea of a play. You see, in addition to admiring plays and cherishing the fine art of thespianism, Celestia herself is an aspiring actress. As a filly, long before film reels or other forms of entertainment, plays were a mainstay, and she longed to take part in one. However, despite her lack of years, by then she was already learning and preparing for her eventual duty, spending much of her time under Starswirl’s instruction. So, she never really had the time to indulge in such things. Even now, it is rare she has a moment to indulge herself. Seeing her chance to finally live out her dream though, she made a request of Twilight. She asked if she could play herself in this play. The little alicorn instantly agreed, overjoyed to have a chance to work with her old mentor as a friend, stepping outside the old relationship of teacher and student. And so, Celestia came down to Ponyville to start preparations for the play. Now, you’d think that playing yourself would be quite easy, wouldn’t you? Okay, you still have to learn your lines and hit your marks, but you’ve already got the character sorted out. Unfortunately, that wasn’t how things went. Celestia you see, can’t act for toffee. I’ve seen six year olds in Christmas school plays with more talent that her. She may be a political genius, a gifted magic user, and a maternal figure for all of Equestria, but she was not destined for a career on the stage. I know it sounds harsh, but it’s the truth. It was honestly quite painful to watch. You see, I happened to be hanging around, helping out AJ with getting the set and everything else ready for the show, while Twilight, who was acting as the director of the play, was auditioning Celestia. It was the grand finale of the play. This was the moment Celestia took over from the unicorn council and raised the sun for the first time, sending a vast blast of magic across the realm in the process. She was surrounded by Twilight’s Affirmative Action students, who were dressed as Starswirl the Bearded, and the various members of the unicorn council. The scene called for just one line. All Celestia had to say was ‘It is time for a new day in Equestria’. She would then activate her magic and raise the ‘sun’, which I think was a giant gold disco ball that would be hoisted up through the stage. Not exactly a tricky scene. Well, not unless your name is Princess Celestia it seems. Let’s see, where to begin. On her first go, Celestia was far too quiet. You’d have thought that being a public figure for a little over a millennia and a sole ruler for almost as long, she’d have developed a good speaking voice for the stage. But despite her many eloquent speeches over the years, when put on stage, she was about as audible as Fluttershy used to be when Twilight first came to Ponyville. The pained look on Twilight’s face was pretty obvious, as was the same look on all of her fellow actors faces. Still, Twilight put it down to first time nerves. Happens to everypony sometimes, right? So, like any good director, she directed Celestia to up the volume a little to cope with the acoustics of an open air stage. That pushed us nicely into the realm of the Royal Canterlot Voice. It took about five minutes or so for everypony’s ears to stop ringing. From there, things stopped being funny. Despite Twilight’s aid, Celestia just could not get the line right. It was, in a way, almost impressive, the sheer number of ways she had to flub up just one line. Too quiet, too loud, too quick, too slow, too monotone. Honestly, I should have stepped up and just asked her to say ‘What are you doing here?’ just to finish flogging a dead horse. As funny as it was though, it was clear that Twilight was conflicted about what to do. The simplest thing, and what AJ in her guise as ever blunt Element of Honesty suggested, was to tell Celestia that she shouldn’t give up her day job, and recast Fluttershy in the role. But there was no way Twilight was willing to do that, seeing as how it would really hurt Celestia. So the debacle continued. I had to leave not long after that to go and and pick up Apple Bloom from school. I ran into Mum while I was there. For obvious reasons though, I kept what was happening under my hat. Hardly anypony in town knew about the play at the moment. If worst came to worst, we could just scrub the whole shebang. Still, I wasn’t about to pass up the chance to say hi to her. “Come on, Apple Bloom. We ain’t got all day, little missy,” I said good naturedly as the little filly grabbed her saddlebags and said bye to her friends for the day. “All right, Bones. Hold your horses,” she replied as she cantered over to me. I stifled a chuckle at the once familiar and banal turn of phrase. I was standing on the edge of the playground, waiting for her to walk her home. As she reached me though, Mum came out of the schoolhouse. “Hang on a minute, Apple Bloom,” she called out, a couple sheets of paper in her hand. “You forgot your geography homework.” The filly’s ears wilted as Mum came over, not looking forward to the prospect of more work at home. Activating my magic for a moment, I took the pieces of paper out of Mum’s hand and levitated them over to Apple Bloom’s saddlebags. A quick glance told me it wasn’t anything too excessive; a half hours work at most. Apple Bloom, spotting Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, quickly scampered off to go and play with them. “Thanks, Mom,” I said smiling up at her as she came over. “How was school today anyway? AB doin’ okay?” “Oh, as good as gold,” she replied kindly. “She’s really come a long way with her maths too.” “Math,” I gently reminded her. “Hey, there’s been an ‘S’ there as long as I can remember. And unless Celestia herself tells me otherwise, I’ll keep calling it maths. And one of these days I’ll teach them how to say aluminium properly too.” We both laughed at that. I was about to catch up with her for a bit, when all of a sudden another pony joined the conversation. “I think you’ll find, Margaret,” Celestia said in her calm, serene way. “That in Equestria, we do indeed say math. And I’d rather you not confuse any foals.” If we’d been drinking anything, we’d have no doubt spat it out in surprise. In any case, we both promptly turned around and found ourselves face to face with Princess Celestia. The both of us, mainly out of surprise, fell back on old protocol and offered a quick bow or curtsy as gender dictated. “Princess Celestia!” Mum exclaimed in surprise. “How...how wonderful to see you!” While I have never known Celestia to be mean, you couldn’t help but feel like your boss had just caught you badmouthing them. Luckily, the solar alicorn was forgiving. “It is a pleasure to see you too,” she replied, before turning to address me as well. “And hello to you too, Blade Star.” I touched the brim of my hat. “Your highness,” I said in a greeting tone. “How’s the play goin'?” The alicorn smiled. “Very well, thank you,” she said with a nod of her head. “I haven’t had this much fun in years. Twilight’s even arranged for me to take some acting lessons at her school.” Had she now? “Hang on,” Mum broke in. “What's this play she's on about, Bones?” I quickly explained Twilight’s plan to celebrate Celestia’s one-versary. Celestia continued. “Yes, we’ve just finished rehearsals for the day. I even get to take part in one of the dance numbers!” I have to admit, seeing the usually cool, calm, and collected Celestia so overcome with such foal-like glee did warm my heart. Mum had to do her best to suppress a chuckle. It was just positively adorable. Celestia stayed to chat a little while longer, before heading off towards the school, something that has now become something of a familiar sight on the Ponyville skyline, alongside Twilight’s castle. I too said bye to Mum and with Apple Bloom at my side, I headed back to Sweet Apple Acres. I spent a bit of the early evening with Apple Bloom. After I managed to drag her away from her friends and convinced her to get her homework out of the way, she managed to make light work of it. At dinner Big Mac grumbled about me taking his job from him. I merely teased back that helping AB with her schoolwork worked on a first come, first serve basis. Mac has simmered down a lot these past few months. He’s still adamant about keeping a hallway between me and Applejack (not that I ever let that stop me; self levitation spells I’ve found are great for getting past squeaky floorboards undetected), but I think he’s finally coming around to accepting the idea of me and his little sister as a couple. His other source of vague disdain is me playing father figure, or at least big brother figure, to Apple Bloom. Still, it’s not like he really holds it against me. At this point, it’s more a case of him occasionally poking me, just to remind me who’s boss around here. In all seriousness, I think we’ve reached as close a peace as a protective big brother and a coltfriend to his little sister can. He’s never going to do anything to upset the proverbial apple cart, lest Applejack come down on his head for being so overprotective (pot and kettle I say on that front). I actually get along with him quite well most of the time. And really, unless I do something insanely stupid that hurts or upsets AJ, he’ll keep that same demeanour of a gentle giant he always has. After dinner, I chatted with AJ about the play, and learned things weren’t going as well as I’d hoped. Heck, they were actually getting worse by the sounds of it. She told me all about it as we relaxed in the living room. “So, there we all are,” she was saying. “All the students are up on stage with the princess, and she can’t even keep time. And it ain’t like half a beat off or somethin’. Anypony could see she was out of sync with everypony else. Twilight was just about to stop everythin’ for the day, when Celestia accidentally drops the whole cast through the trap door. The sun prop got ruined as well. So now we have to rebuild the set, fix the costumes, and somehow get Celestia’s actin’ skills up to par.” “Why not just postpone the play if ya need to, AJ?” I suggested, pointing out the obvious solution. “It ain’t like nopony knows about it.” Applejack shook her head. “They do now,” she replied. “Ya can thank Rainbow Dash for that. The damn mare went off all over the place tellin' ponies about it. So now we have to put on a play, and on time too.” “Well, what did Twilight say?” Applejack took off her hat and briefly ran a hoof through her mane. “She doesn’t want to tell Celestia how bad she is. This is somethin’ she’s wanted to do since she was a filly. Twi can’t crush her dream like that. Ah’ve tried to tell her it may be the only way, but she won’t listen.” If Twilight has a failing, it’s that, when it comes to Celestia, she sometimes throws all reason and logic out of the window. Just look at that whole disaster with the parasprites, or her crazy little breakdown when she was late on a friendship report, or even her ‘test’ in the Crystal Empire. Like it or not, the truth was bound to come out sooner or later. Either Twilight told Celestia the truth, or the poor mare might be humiliated in front of a hundred or so of her subjects. Twilight clearly had rose tinted glasses on right now though. I tried to offer some form of encouragement. “Celestia said that Twilight had gotten somepony to be her actin’ coach. Maybe she just needs somepony to teach her. After all, none of y’all are actors.” Applejack paused for a moment and starred into the fire that burned in the fireplace. “Ah hope you’re right, Bones,” she said at length. “But Ah’m not sure even professionals can help with how bad her actin’ is.” I tried to cheer her up. “Well, it could be worse, AJ. Ya could be stuck with me, with my four left feet. And Ah’m not much of an actor. Celestia can act, she just doesn’t know it yet. Think about it; most of her time as a princess is spent actin’ for somepony or other.” Despite my efforts though, Applejack remained concerned. I was too if I’m honest. Twilight was pretty much stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either she had to tell her mentor that she was a poor actor and have her played by somepony else, or push on and see Celestia make a fool of herself in front of everypony. Neither of those were pleasant scenarios, and I certainly didn’t envy her position. I went to bed that night concerned for both alicorn princesses. I found myself standing in the now somewhat familiar starlit fields of the dreamscape. I didn’t used to dream that much when I was human. If I dreamt of anything, it was always indistinct flashes, images and sounds, with little tying them together. Only on very rare occasions did these coalesce into any sort of narrative or scenario, and all to often, that resulted in a nightmare for me. But since coming to Equestria, I’ve found myself dreaming a great deal more, with greater details and memory. The pictures seem sharper, more defined, sounds and smells are clearer, and I even find myself experience the feeling of touching something in dreams. Above all else though, my dreaming has been far more lucid since coming to Equestria. Opening my eyes here in the dreamscape, I knew almost instantly where I was. I knew that I was dreaming, and was thus almost instantly endowed with omnipotence. Standing on the pathway made up of stars and stellar debris, I waited for Luna to appear. If I was in the dreamscape itself, that meant I had been pulled out of my own dream, which in turn meant that she wanted to talk. I know she does it with quite a few ponies, as her way of connecting with her subjects, but I can’t help but feel special for it. I am but one of her many friends, but I’ll always take some small amount of pride at the idea that I’m on first name basis with a princess. A princess who was presently the ruler of Equestria. She appeared as she so often does, seeming to fade into existence before me. And as always there was that kindly, reassuring smile on her features. I offered a brief bow in greeting. “Hey there, Luna,” I said happily. It was always a treat to get to spend some time with her, particularly as, given how time works in a dream, we could talk for hours if we wanted to, without restricting her nightly duties. “Hello, Blade Star,” she replied, her voice having a slight echoing quality to it; a result of her projecting herself into the dreamscape. “How have you been?” “Oh, ya know me, Luna. Sound as a pound as my old man would say.” Luna was oddly quiet tonight. Usually, once we’d met up in the dreamscape, she’d have me think up somewhere for us to go for the night to talk and have some fun. Tonight, she seemed rather pensive. “Somethin’ wrong?” I asked in a concerned tone. The alicorn nodded her head. “It is my sister,” she said after a moment. “I hadn’t realised it myself, but tomorrow will be quite the special occasion for her. It marks the day she first raised the sun all those moons ago.” “Yeah, Ah heard about that,” I replied. “Twilight’s puttin’ on a show down in Ponyville to commemorate it, with Celestia playin’ herself.” Luna’s ears splayed at that and she frowned. “It is that which concerns me, my friend,” she said. “You see...my sister is...well, her acting skills are...” “Not that great?” I offered gently. Luna nodded. “I’ve never understood how a pony who seemingly spends much of her life putting on an act can do so poorly when asked to perform the exact same feat for entertainment.” “Ah take it ya heard about how the rehearsals have been goin’ then?” “Of course. My sister told me herself. She actually seemed quite proud of it. I couldn’t bring myself to contradict her.” I frowned and looked over to her as the two of us continued to walk along the glittering path. “Twilight can’t bring herself to say somethin’ neither,” I explained. “You know how she looks up to Celestia.” “In the same manner in which you look up to me, my little pony?” Luna asked in a teasing tone. I let out a laugh. To be fair though, she was right in that regard. “Very true,” I agreed. “Well, hopefully the old adage will hold true; ‘a bad dress rehearsal leads to a great opening night’.” Luna nodded. “Indeed,” she said. “I shall be there in any case. The anniversary of our ascension to the throne remains a national holiday, so I shan’t be holding court that evening. I believe we shall just have to hope that all goes well.” The two of us spent the rest of the night catching up on less alarming matters. Luna was telling me how Flash Magnus, one of the old pillars, had been appointed as the new Captain of the Royal Guard. He’d apparently taken the place by storm and gone on a major recruitment drive and major retraining. Nopony wanted to see a repeat of the attack on the city. Although Celestia knows that if they hadn’t all been given the day off they’d have probably stood a decent chance of beating the bastards off. As we saw, those Storm creatures weren’t too good in a fair fight. Eventually, it came time for the two of us to part ways. The play would be performed tomorrow evening. Thanks to Rainbow Dash, ponies from Canterlot would be attending, alongside Ponyville residents, as well as Luna herself. If nothing else, I looked forward to that. That last time I’d seen Luna it had been just to calm my mind after the attack on Canterlot. It would be nice to see her in a more peaceful setting. Although having said that, tomorrow could prove to be absolutely catastrophic, at least from a political standpoint. Well, the only pony who could do anything about that was Celestia. The next day saw me away from the school and the outdoor stage until well into the evening. While I’d previously been helping out, doing basic grunt work and DIY on the stage, I still had a farm to look after. And over the last few weeks, brambles had begun to once again sprout up on the side of the farm closest to the Everfree. The beggars obviously choke the trees and reduce our overall harvest, so we need to keep trimming them back every now and again. That was what Mac and me were up to, with a little help from Apple Bloom. It wasn’t particularly pleasant work. Even with magic, I still found myself covered in minor nicks and cuts by the end. But it needed to be done, and nopony said running an apple orchard was easy. And at least there were some advantages. The offcuts we had from when we were done would make good kindling for the fire. If you ask me, we ought to be using fire instead of simply trimming them back. Maybe the plants might start to take the hint instead of growing back every few weeks. It would probably make the work load a lot lighter too. A quick fire spell or two and I could do in twenty minutes what it presently takes the better part of a day to do. In any case, Mac, AB and I spent most of the day working away until the wild plants had been trimmed back, well away from any of the apple trees. This close to the woods, you couldn’t help but sometimes feel as though unseen eyes were watching you from within the forest. I know for a fact that occasionally, packs of timberwolves come close to the boundary. Although none have actually come out of the forest since AJ and Spike had that run in with that pack that morphed into a huge timberwolf. The play was slated to start at eight o’clock in the evening, giving everypony plenty of time to reach Ponyville, including the star of the show herself. Applejack would be helping out with the production as before. I meanwhile would be in the audience. We were fortunate that it was a pleasant evening. Well, fortunate that Lizzie and her friends did what they were paid to do, I suppose. After all, weather is hardly left to chance in Equestria. Stands had been built for the audience, in order to accommodate the surprising number of guests, whilst still giving everypony present a mostly unobstructed view of the stage. I’ll be honest, despite their efforts, it still looked pretty ropey in light of the accident. More to the point, what were they going to use for the sun if the original prop got smashed up? As I was pondering that, I saw Luna come and take her seat, near the front. I couldn’t be certain, but a couple stallions sitting relatively close to her seemed to be keeping a watch more on her than the show. Well, they say there’s two ways for a princess to leave the castle after all, and she wasn’t wearing a baseball cap. The curtain would be coming up at any moment, and show would start. I’d sent AJ on her way with the time honoured tradition of ‘break a leg’. In hindsight, I think I should have chosen my words more carefully. Without warning, from behind the curtain, there was suddenly an almighty bang, followed by what seemed to be a bunch of fireworks going off. I later learned that that was the sun’s understudy. Pinkie had bought a load of fireworks from a certain blue unicorn showmare, and lashed them all together. She’d then lit them to make the sun ‘shine’. In light of that, the show’s start was somewhat delayed. Poor Spike was sent out to try and placate the crowd, only to be subjected to more than his fair share of heckling from some of the less reputable members of the audience. I seriously wondered when the first tomato would fly. It was then though, I spotted something. From behind the stage, I saw something white take to the skies. It was Princess Celestia, and she didn’t look too happy. I only caught a glimpse, but I could have sworn that she was crying. Luna saw it too and was about to take off herself and go after her, when Twilight also took off and went after the star of the show. It didn’t take a genius to work out what had happened. Twilight had finally taken AJ’s advice. Unfortunately, while honesty is usually the best policy, the truth does hurt, even if you’re a nigh immortal alicorn princess. With both the director and leading lady seeming to have fled the scene, things started to spiral, and the heckling poor Spike was receiving got worse. To his credit, he took it like a champ, although I had no idea what in Equestria they were going to do now. I was just considering heading backstage myself when the two alicorns returned, once again going backstage. A few minutes later, the curtain rose, and the show began, albeit with some changes. The biggest one was Celestia. She had evidently been replaced by Fluttershy. There were a few flub ups here and there as the show went on, but overall, with Spike now acting as narrator, it actually went quite well. I found myself though, wondering where the princess was. I got my answer at the grand finale. Instead of a prop of the sun coming up, Celestia herself raised the actual sun, bathing the whole area in the warm light of the dawn. It was quite the display really. The result was that the play was a roaring success; everypony cheered and applauded, with one noticeable exception. Looking down toward the front rows, I could see Luna. She was glaring, either at the newly risen sun, or at the curtain on the right hoof side of the stage. I’ve not seen her that cheesed off for quite some time. I wondered what it was she was upset about. After the show, the crowd dispersed. While Twilight and her friends were all celebrating, along with Celestia herself, I went out in search of Luna. I’d seen her leave after the show was over, still not looking best pleased. Luckily, it wasn’t too hard to find her. In the early morning light, her dark blue coat made her stick out prominently against the landscape. I found her on a small hilltop about half a mile or so away from the school, still glaring angrily at the sun. Not wanting to have the wrath of the night fall on my head, I decided to step lightly. “Er...Luna,” I called out, catching the princess’ attention. “Is everythin’ alright?” In response, Luna pointed to the sun. “Blade Star,” she said, sounding as though she were on her last nerve. “Tell me, what time is it?” “Well, it’s about half ten or so Ah’d say in the...oh.” Now I understood why she might be a little cheesed off. It was presently just after half past ten at night. I’d been planning to go to bed in a little while, once the show was finished. And yet there was the sun, several hours before its usual time. And we all know how Luna feels about her sister getting too much of the limelight at her expense. “Oh indeed,” Luna went on, slowly becoming more irritated. “As beautiful as it was, dear sister has started the day almost seven hours early. Do you have any idea the effect that has on ponies and other creatures? Their internal clocks won’t want to fall asleep and will be out of sync for days now. And once again my own night has been cut short.” “Ah’m sure Celestia didn’t mean for you to take it like that,” I said, trying to placate her. “And ya gotta admit, it did make a nice finale to the show.” Luna scowled. “It may be nice, Blade Star,” she replied. “But it’s also irresponsible and thoughtless of her. Showing off to a hundred or so ponies is not justification for raising the sun hours before its time and forcing my own moon down!” I frowned, this wasn’t like the Luna I knew. “Than maybe ya ought to go tell her that,” I suggested a little forcefully. “Celestia is many things, but she’s not omniscient. She may not even have realised that she’s upset you. It certainly does you no good just sitting here complaining to me.” I was about to go on, feeling a little uncomfortable at lecturing a pony that I saw as a mentor and friend. However, at that moment, Luna’s expression changed from her previous angry scowl, to her usual calm look. She smiled at me. “Upon my word, Blade Star,” she said happily. “You certainly are taking on board Twilight’s lessons on friendship. I’m glad to see it.” Seeing my confused expression, she went on. “The last time we met, you told me how you were concerned about not retaining the lessons you had learned. I wanted to see if you had.” “So, you’re not mad at your sister then?” I asked, relief creeping into my voice. Luna let out a laugh. “Well, perhaps I am a little irritated, but it is only a trifle to reverse. Observe.” Activating her magic, the sun promptly disappeared from the sky, falling back below the eastern horizon, with the moon appearing once again in the west. I was slightly taken aback at the casual use of such powerful magic. “There,” Luna said, with a hint of pride. “My sister’s new day in Equestria can wait its turn.” “So, that was all just a test for me?” I asked. Luna nodded. “A test I can safely say you passed, Blade Star. I’ve been watching you for some time now, seeing what you’ve been getting up to. Your magic projects of late have been more steered towards difficult magical spells than anything to do with dark magic. You have worked hard to set aside feelings of anger and notions of revenge, even against former enemies of this nation. And you have even made great sacrifices to help the pony you love bring her dream to life. I am more than proud of you. And I look forward to seeing what you will achieve next.” I’ll admit, that little speech did stroke my ego a bit. Well, that and make me let out a squee in excitement. After all, who doesn’t like getting a bit of praise from one’s commander in chief? The two of us then returned to the school, to go and see Celestia, Twilight and the others. Celestia, ever the subtle prankster and troll, gave both me and Luna quite a shock, when she announced her intention to step down from the throne and pursue a career in theatre. She and the girls got a good laugh out of our shocked faces. After that, the two regal sisters returned to their home in Canterlot together, leaving the rest of us to head home for the night. I told Applejack what Luna had said to me on the way back to the farm. I’d certainly come a long way from the headstrong colt who had it in for every single changeling he came across. But soon, my values would face an even tougher test as I came face to face with an old enemy, and the only person I ever killed.