My Little Squarepants

by Pegasus Lightning


Bikini Bottom to Big Smiles

“One more time, Patrick!”

The purple-pink sea star stood up and stuck his shoulders out.

“Okay, okay. And don't think we don't know how to weeeed 'em out!”

He looked down at his friend for a second, both sporting serious faces.

“Bwahahahahahahahaha!”

The two undersea best friends, SpongeBob Squarepants and Patrick Star, were found on the ground near Jellyfish Fields, reminiscing about their adventure, their ride on the Hasslehoff, and the laughs they shared during the cinematic premiere. Blowing bubbles, playing two person tag, and just general goofing off were all there was to be done today. Sunday, one of the two days the sea sponge doesn't slave over the hot grill, was his to enjoy.


Meanwhile, in Equestria,


The usually hyperactive party pony was sitting on a bench. Rainbow Dash had tickets to the Wonderbolts, Twilight was studying (of course), Applejack was bucking apples, and Fluttershy and Rarity were at the spa. The baby Cakes were with their parents in Bangtrot, visiting Mrs. Cake's parents. The bakery was closed, and there was no baking to be done. To Pinkie Pie, it seemed like everypony was busy today.

“Those sort of sound like... excuses! Oh, wait, it's not my birthday.”

Pinkie sighed. Boredom was the one thing she couldn't deal with. What a terrible thing it is.


Meanwhile, in Bikini Bottom,


“SpongeBob, Patrick! Come here!” shouted the squirrel.

Sandy Cheeks, the parallel for Twilight Sparkle and Applejack combined, had another invention she wanted the two goofballs to try out.

“Whoa. What is it, Sandy?”

“It's mah patent-pending new Teleporty-O 7000.”

“Does it O?”

“Patrick, that doesn't even make sense.”

“YOU DON”T MAKE SENSE!”

Giggles all around for the pink one's stupidity and wit.

“What do we do?”

“Well, 'ya step in, then 'ya step out when I tell 'ya. Sound fun?”

“No.” Patrick was still upset from being laughed at.

“There's a lollipop inside.”

“What are we waiting for, Patrick?”

The two ocean dwellers stepped right in the large machine. Sandy grabbed hold of a rather typical large lever with a red spherical knob on the end. SpongeBob and Patrick each grabbed a multicolored lollipop. Patrick, being the clumsy star he was, dropped his treat.

“Oops.”

“I got it, buddy.” SpongeBob leaned down to grab his best friend's candy off of the floor. He tripped, and his sugar-on-a-stick went flying into an open electrical box. ZAP!

Sandy finished pulling the lever, sending her friends to an unknown world...


Meanwhile, in Equestria,


Pinkie sighed. ZAP! She gasped. A flash of light came from behind a tree. She got up and walked near the epicenter of the light. Featherweight was holding a camera.
ZAP! Another flash of light, from behind the next tree over. Pinkie looked over to see a small unicorn filly practicing magic, and only producing sparks. She felt a twitchy tail. Pinkie sense!
ZAP! A third flash of light, coming from two trees down from the second tree. Pinkie walked over to be greeted by a large metal box, presumably dropped by none other than Derpy Hooves. However, her assumption was incorrect, as she saw two ponies inside the box. Actually, it was more of a machine. The door faced upward, and Pinkie leaned her face in to see a yellow porous pegasus and a pink unicorn with a lollipop.

SpongeBob looked up to see that he was staring at the roof, which had been turned on its side. He sat up to see Patrick licking his lollipop happily. He did a double take.

“OHMYGOSHPATRICKYOUTURNEDINTOAUNICORN!” (In any case you can't read that, it said, “Oh my gosh Patrick you turned into a unicorn!”)

“YOUTURNEDINTOAHORSEWITHWINGS!” Patrick yelled, dropping his lollipop yet again. (In any case you failed to read this [the close words express emphasis]it says, “You turned into a horse with wings!”)

“Heeheehahahaha!” Pinkie laughed, snorting as she went along, “Silly billy, you're a pegasus, not just a horse with wings!” to her naïve mind, it was just a comedy act. And Pinkie Pie loves to laugh and have fun.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” The former saltwater creatures screamed in unison.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Pinkie Pie shouted back, “Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! Who are you? Are you new to Ponyville? Have you ever had a chimmy cherry chonga? Huh? huh? Huh?”

The rapid fire questions were a bit too much for the slow-brained unicorn to handle for the moment. However, for the more intelligent pegasus, these were easily answered.

“I'm SpongeBob Squarepants, and this is Patrick.”

“Hi.” The unicorn said nonchalantly.

“Heeheehaha! Squarepants! You're not even wearing any pants!” Pinkie exclaimed, snorting, as she opened the door so that the two ponies inside could exit. SpongeBob and Patrick climbed up the sides of their container, and stood next to the party pony, bewildered by their very bright surroundings. They had never seen such wonders.

“Where's the sand? Where's the water? WHERE'S THE WATER!?!?!?!?!?” SpongeBob asked frantically.

“Hmm,” Pinkie pondered, intent on coming up with a sarcastic response to the innocent inquiry, “The sand is at the beach, the water is at the dam, and the other water is in the reservoir.”

“Huh?”

“Patrick, she was kidding.”

“Oh.”

“You horses don't breathe water?”

“No, silly! Who breathes water? Only fishies! Unless Twilight comes up with some crazy spell that lets you breathe underwater. That would be super-duper! Then we could see all the sponges and the fishes and the whales and the frogs and the turtles and the crabs and the sea stars...” She trailed off. Something about a broken refrigerator was mentioned, Luna and Celestia made appearances in her rant, as did Discord. But hey, that's just Pinkie being Pinkie.

“What did you say your name was? Pinkie?”

“Yuppity!”

“Well then, Pinkie, we may be horses now, but I'm really a sponge. And Patrick is really a sea star.”

“Heeheeheeheeheeheeheehahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!” Pinkie absolutely lost it, in a hysterical laughing fit. Patrick didn't quite get what was so funny.

“What's so funny? You're a talking a sea horse.”

Pinkie laughed even harder. Small tear drops gathered at the corners of her eyes due to excessive snorting and laughing. She now began to wheeze, so she tried slowing down. She couldn't, and she continued to wheeze until she coughed out of it.

“Wow, that was the FUNNIEST thing I've EVER heard!”

“I still don't see what's so funny.” Patrick groaned.

“Pinkie, be warned.” SpongeBob chimed in.

“About too much laughing?”

“You could break your laughbox.”

“There's no such thing!” Pinkie giggled at the pegasus' comment.

“Yes there is! Squidward broke his!”

“Squidward! What a silly name!” More laughter went on. SpongeBob and Patrick just looked at each other in awe.

“You guys are hilarious! You just HAVE TO meet friends!”

“Uhmm, Pinkie?”

“Yeah, S-B?”

“S-B?”

“Your new nickname!”

“Oh. Uh, Pinkie? Where are we going?”

“I dunno. Wherever the wind takes us!”

“There isn't any wind.” Patrick stated blatantly.

The party pony ran behind a bush.

“Is this where the mystery wind is taking us?”

“I don't know, Patrick.” SpongeBob was worried now. They were in a strange land, with no one but themselves, and their tour guide, otherwise known as Pinkie Pie, had disappeared on them.

Almost to the bush now, they saw a cloud fly above. A pink hoof waved from above the bush. Pip jumped from behind the two.

“Raaaahhh!”