Changing Lanes

by AutoPony


Chapter 28

You prepare yourself as much as possible while Anonymous reacts to your presence. It's still not enough, as he leaps up and throws his good arm around your neck, nearly knocking you over.

You are awake but you certainly don't feel well. Aside from the aches and pains expected from sleeping and otherwise being still for two days, your head is still a mess. The sensation is akin to being severely inebriated, your thoughts jumbled together, nonsensical as your brain is still likely working overtime to file away rediscovered memories.

While Anon's enthusiasm is on the verge of overwhelming, your sister seems a touch standoffish. Her face is adorned with a small smile, but underneath that exterior, you sense there is a bit of tension, of questions that need to be answered.

But that's why you're here. As implausible as it may seem, Nightmare Moon is dead on - the lies, the hidden secrets must stop before you fall into the same trap as before.

"It is about time you woke up, sister," Celestia quips, both as a jest and rather serious. "Anonymous said he didn't think you may even wake up."

"I suppose he was not far from the truth," you respond, as Anon lets you go, beckoning for you to join him and Celestia as he returns to where he was seated. You shuffle your way over to the pair, feeling somewhat off balance. Your sister's face has lost any positive energy it has contained as she watches you with grave concern.

"Are you ill, Luna? I understand you have been asleep for a long time, but you do not look well," she suggests as you finally take a seat. Anon looks concerned as well, but he knows the truth, and is not alarmed at near the level of Celestia.

"Ill may not be the best term, but let us stick with that for now," you say, garnering a confused stare in response. But for now, you put Celestia's confusion aside and focus your attention on Anonymous. "I take it you have been filling in our sister of the events that have transpired thus far?" you ask.

"Uh, where to even begin answering that?" he replies, his enthusiasm surrounding your appearance draining away. "I've been filling Celestia in on everything that's happened since Nightmare Night."

You cringe as you practically feel the disappointment exude from Celestia before you even turn to her and confirm her frown. Nodding in admittance of your dishonesty, you feel your face beginning to grow hot with embarrassment and shame.

"It is true, Tia," you sigh. "I have not been forthcoming with information as of the last few months."

"I assume you have some sort of reasonable explanation for declining to inform me?" Celestia asks, trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. But now is not the time for excuses. Not anymore.

"No, I have no explanation for lying to you," you respond, making your sister's jaw drop.

"Sister," she responds in a disappointed, almost motherly tone. But that is as far as you let her go.

"Hold your tongue until I am finished, please. There is more to share," you say. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Anonymous's concerned expression.

"Luna, what are you doing?" he asks through the link. It takes a bit of effort to concentrate enough to respond to him.

A wise pony helped me to understand the cycle of strife I have created for myself must be stopped, starting today, you tell him. You need not explain yourself to him, as the slight nod he gives you says he understands, even if he still looks a little apprehensive.

"Tia, everything Anonymous has told you is the truth," you announce, shame creeping up within you upon utterance of those words. "Nightmare Moon did not cease to exist when the Elements of Harmony were used upon me when we escaped our exile. In fact, that is when she began to exist as a separate entity."

Celestia blinks a few times, utterly confused by what you have revealed to her. "Would you care to run that by me one more time, Lulu?"

Oh no, not that name. You glance over an Anon, who is having a hard time keeping a straight face, as he avoids making eye contact.

"Sorry, it just slipped," your sister quickly follows up, blushing a bit.

"I believe I will manage," you tell your sister, before focusing on Anon. "You are not to repeat that name. Ever."

"Duly noted," he says, hardening his resolve in an instant to respond in a serious tone.

"Good," you reply with a nod, again turning to face Celestia. "As I said, Nightmare Moon has only existed as an entity since my return. Her presence is not a threat to Anonymous or Equestria? Not any more so than me, I suppose. I am as much Nightmare Moon as she is."

Celestia still looks puzzled by your words, as silence dominates the room. Glances are exchanged between the three of you, waiting for somepony to speak up.

"I have not been asleep for two days. I was stuck in a nightmare," you say, breaking the stalemate. Celestia perks up at once.

"How is that even possible, Luna? You preside over the dream realm," she protests.

"I preside over it. That does not mean I have complete control over it," you explain. " I did not know I was in a dream, which made it that much more difficult to extract myself from it. What does this have to do with what I just told you? I was in this nightmare because I have been mistaken, I have been blaming Nightmare Moon for my past. Perhaps I did not remember what happened; perhaps I created my own memories. It matters not, for I have seen the truth."

"Luna, it doesn't change anything between us," Celestia reassures you, scooting forward to rest a hoof upon your own folded forelegs. "I have forgiven you for what happened, as has the rest of Equestria."

"That may be, but I must come clean to you, sister," you tell Celestia, before turning back to Anon. "And coming clean to you as well."

Surprisingly, Anonymous does not seem taken aback at all by your sudden focus upon him. Perhaps Nightmare told him when you were trying to sort yourself out? Not likely, considering she was so adamant that you be the one to explain to Anon what you had done. No, it could be that he has had some inkling that you were hiding something else amidst the lies you had fed him over the past several months.

You see the slightest glint in his eye for a moment, like a sudden shift of the light reflected within his pupil. But you've seen it before, you know it is not merely a trick of the mind. Your other half within him is watching, waiting expectantly to finish what you have begun confessing.

"Are you sure you're okay, Luna?" Anon asks. You realize then you have been staring at him, transfixed upon his eyes for some time now in silence. Again, you shake your head, returning to the present, conscious reality.

"Yes," you reply, hesitating for a moment. "No, no I am not. Anonymous, I have something I have been hiding from you for some time now, something that I now realize should not have even occurred to begin with. Yet here we are, months later, and I have still been keeping this secret from you."

You take a deep breath, your body slightly trembling with frayed nerves as you attempt to compose yourself. Despite your best efforts, flashbacks to the nightmare earlier push to the forefront of your mind, making it all the more difficult to remain calm.

But you owe it to him. Keeping this to yourself isn't right, no matter what the consequences.

"Anonymous, the spell we cast - I cast - in order to experience your Superbird, it was not an accident," you quickly spout in an exhale. By his befuddled expression, he does not quite understand the gravity of what you told him, nor does your sister.

"Well, that was kind of the plan, right? You would see through my eyes and sense everything that I sensed. That's nothing new, Luna," he replies cautiously. You only shake your head, fighting the temptation to agree with him and laugh it all off.

"No, I mean I did not make a mistake in the spell that I cast. It went as planned, our consciousness shifted between bodies. Furthermore, I already knew the spell to reverse what I had done, but waited to 'find' it, as it were."

"Why would you do that on purpose, Luna? What if Nightmare had succeeded in picking me apart and taking over your body? Then what?" Anon asks, shocked and disturbed by your confession.

"I-I knew you could handle it," you stutter, trying to hold back tears. "I just needed time for her to... to attach to you."

"Luna, are you saying you meant for Nightmare Moon to follow him back?" Celestia gasps, the startled alicorn involuntarily flaring out her wings.

You can only nod as the dam slowly begins to crumble within, a small stream making its way down your cheek.

"Yes," you whisper. "I had hoped to create the link that he and I now share."

Without a word or show of emotion, Anonymous stands up, walking toward the door.

"Anon, where are you going?" Celestia asks. Anon keeps walking until he is almost out and into the hallway before turning.

"I need to think," he says flatly, before disappearing around the corner.

For a moment, you consider following him, still harboring a desire to completely explain yourself. But it is probably for the best you leave him to his thoughts for now, to digest what you have told him. Instead, you hang your head, feeling worse than you had before. It remains a possibility you just ruined your relationship.

Perhaps more importantly, you may have cost yourself a dear friend.

"Sister," Celestia softly calls, trying to get your attention. But with a raise of your hoof, you stop her before she goes further.

"I know what I did was wrong. No, I do not know what possessed me to do something so reckless and stupid," you announce in a rather emotionless tone. "I am sorry, Tia, and I understand there will be repercussions for my brazen actions."

"Lulu, come here," she quietly requests. You don't move, but nevertheless find yourself sliding across the floor, at the mercy of your older sister's magic. You come to a stop lying right beside her, and you meet her gaze. Rather than a stern expression, her eyes belie a sorrowful empathy.

"You are not angry?" you ask, tilting your head in confusion. Celestia's expression does not change, but she closes her eyes.

"Not angry, disappointed," she replies softly, opening her eyes again to focus upon your own. "Disappointed with you, and myself."

"Why yourself? This is my mistake, my burden to bear," you correct her. But still, her sympathetic gaze does not diminish in the slightest.

"I keep making the same mistake to wait for you to talk, to discuss what ails you, what pains you. Even when I know something is amiss, I let it be, assuming you will come and talk to me when you are ready. I did it years ago when I could sense your unhappiness, and I have done it now. Except this time, I have been content to not bring up the past, to not discuss something we should look into."

"What?"

"Us," she says sadly. "What happened between us, the separation, our feelings towards each other. We really need to talk about what happened that resulted in your exile, even if it does bring pain. Clearly, divulging your inner feelings and desires is something you avoid, and it keeps causing problems, Luna." You feel her wing brush against you, draping across you like a blanket.

"I know, I know," you bemoan, frustrated with the same conclusion she has come to as Nightmare Moon had. "I just - that sense of vulnerability, that show of weakness, it doesn't reflect well on us as princesses, does it?"

Your big sister is at a loss for words as she recoils, taken aback by your response. "Lulu, that is simply not true. I understand at one time, far back in the past such a show of emotion in public could lead to questions about our resolve and strength to a fledgling nation, but this is now. Besides the fact, I am not asking you to spill your inner thoughts to the world, I am asking you talk with me in private."

"It still does not seem very appropriate," you say before Celestia cuts you off.

"Now stop, Lulu. We are ponies just like those we preside over," she scolds. "To have emotions is what keeps us grounded and in touch with those we watch over. To deny ourselves emotion... one could argue that is where the path to villainy and tyranny begins." Her words hang in the air as you mull them over, considering she does have a point. Some of the more wicked foes you have faced seemed to only know one thing - greed.

"You may be right sister, but I fear it is too late now. My pride may have destroyed mine and Anon's relationship," you rebut. Your sister's wing clings closer to you upon your utterance.

"Just give him some time, Luna. You saw how happy he was to see you awake. He has a lot on his mind, as I told him he will be staying here in the castle for now."

"I suppose word has already gotten around that Anonymous was responsible for Chrysalis's capture," you reply. Celestia nods her head, looking rather uneasy with the idea.

"Not necessarily among our ponies, but the changelings know. His home was vandalized, I can only assume they are searching for him. I feel he would be much safer sticking with us, for the time being," she explains. "I let him know he may choose a guest room near us to make his home away from home - or, if you and he both desire, to share your room."

"We'll see," you forlornly respond. "I have no qualms with it, but after tonight, I would not dare suggest it to him."

Again, Celestia nods in understanding, before casting an odd glance at you. "What did happen that you were asleep so long? I have never heard of a nightmare trapping anypony."

"You may as well make yourself comfortable," you say with a sigh. "There's a lot to explain..."


You feel as if you are about to drown, a cascading mix of emotions washing over you as you have wandered around the castle aimlessly. Now, you have found your way outside, and into the gardens.

Despite the fact Equestria is approaching winter season, Canterlot has still remained quite warm. Even the foliage has resisted the normal preparations of fall, the trees and grass still green as if summer were still in full swing. Luna had mentioned her sister had a dislike of the cold. You consider the idea that the sun princess herself has staved off the incoming colder weather for the time being.

For now, it is at least a positive you do not need a coat to venture out, considering you did not bring one. The journey here was spur of the moment, even if Ponyville itself had been rather chilly the night you departed. Not that you would have really noticed, as your mind is more attuned to the inner turmoil you face.

Between being a wanted man by a whole species and seeing Luna awake after going through a mental breakdown was a roller-coaster ride of emotions in itself. But now, with the revelation that the whole sequence of events that began this wild ride was planned, you've gone down another steep drop.

Where do you even go from here? Do you forgive her once again for lying to you? After all, not only is this another secret, it turns out this whole time she meant to stick Nightmare Moon with you. Yet she was upset you began to converse with her. It makes absolutely no sense, but it is likely that this was the one thing Nightmare Moon alluded to over the past couple days, that she said she would not divulge.

"Right you are, kiddo," Nightmare coos as she manifests beside you. Fully expecting her to make an appearance, you aren't startled in the slightest. But you are taken back a bit by her rather chipper mood.

"You really couldn't warn me about what she was hiding?" you ask, a bit irritated. Nightmare's upbeat attitude deflates rather quickly as she comes back to earth.

"No, it was not my place to say anything," she reassures you. "Let's be honest here, it would not matter when she explained this all to you, it would still be just as hard to take."

" I understand that, and I'm not disagreeing," you reply. "But I don't even know how I should feel right now. On one hand, I'm glad you were able to help Luna put everything back together enough for her to awaken. On the other, now I have to deal with the knowledge she knowingly stuck you and me together."

"Has it really been that bad?" she suggests, hopeful. You don't give her a response, once again crushing her mood.

You feel like kicking yourself because, in reality, it has not been bad having her around. Of course, you weren't enthused at first, especially considering the hell she put you through during the first meeting. But over time, she has softened up, offering advice and help when you need it most. Sure, she can still be a touch arrogant, or grating on the nerves, but for the most part, you have come to rely on her.

At this point, it would not be a stretch to call her a friend. Or something like that, considering the circumstances of how you two coexist.

"No, it hasn't been bad, Darkie," you chip in. "You have helped me a lot, and I thank you for that. For everything you've done."

Nightmare averts your gaze, scoffing a bit at your words due to embarrassment. "Well, as I said before, it gets irritating listening to you mope, and it's my own hide I'm saving as well so-"

"I mean it. If you would have told me months ago I would come to see you as a friend, I would have laughed at you. But you are a good friend. Just drop the act for once and at least acknowledge what I'm telling you."

She finally faces you, albeit looking rather uncomfortable and insecure. "What do you want me to say? What should I say?" she asks.

Initially, you feel as if she is being sarcastic, until you realize this is a position in which she has never been placed.

"I'm thanking you. In which case 'you're welcome' should suffice," you softly tell her.

"Then you are welcome," she responds, still a bit uneasy as she drops her eyes to the ground. But after a spell, she abruptly raises her head and meets your gaze.

"Thank you," she says.

"For what?"

"You know. Giving me a chance," she replies, flashing a small, relaxed smile.

"I'd say you earned it, but you're welcome." But the short heartfelt conversation only reminds you of what you face now with Luna. "What do I even do now, Nightmare? Do I forgive her again? If I don't, what do I do? I gotta live in the castle, that would be awkward."

Nightmare responds with a light chuckle. "Quite a lot of questions for something that is so simple, don't you think?"

"How is this simple?"

"Your mind says you should be angry, and perhaps you should be. But I see in your heart, you are desperately trying to find an excuse to let her off the hook," Nightmare explains, flashing you a cheeky grin.

As much as you would like to argue with her, you do still feel a sense of relief that Luna is safe, more than your own frustrations towards her.

"I'm not saying you don't tell her your frustrations, don't get me wrong. But maybe, hold off on being angry for a bit until some of this mess gets sorted out, you know?"

That is all you need to hear to feel some semblance of calm. In fact, you feel ready to talk to Luna.

If she is up for it, of course.