It started when the phone rang.
Flim's face broke out into his usual confident grin and he leaned back in his chair after pressing the speaker button.
"Hello, this is Flim and Flam Industries, making all of your wildest dreams come true. Who is the lucky caller today?"
"Yes hello, this is Legit Collector from the Equestrian Revenue Service. I am calling to inform you that you and your company are currently under investigation for tax evasion."
Flim's smile froze and his eyes widened. He looked up and exchanged a glance with Flam, who instantly ran over to the nearby fireplace and lit it with his magic. Flim chuckled uneasily and cleared his throat.
"Well, ah... I'm sorry that you think that, good sir. Flim and Flam Industries prides itself on quality and honesty. We, uh, we also pride ourselves..." Flim looked up at Flam, who had opened up a filing cabinet and torn out several documents which he began promptly throwing into the fire. "We also pride ourselves on being the best."
"Sir, I have the documents in front of me here stating that you have failed to pay income tax for the last seven years. You owe the Equestrian government twenty thousand, eight hundred and fifty-seven bits and thirty-four cents. Should you fail to pay you will be sentenced to fifteen years in an Equestrian penitentiary, alongside having bank accounts, passports, personal property, and anything else we need seized to pay off our debts."
"Noooo, surely it doesn't need to come to that, my good sir," Flim said, levitating a paper shredder over to him. He floated the folders he had onto his desk closer and began running the papers through the shredder. "We can surely come to some arrangement."
"Am I hearing a paper shredder?"
"Certainly not," Flam called out. "It's just our... washing machine."
"My brother is right on the money with that," Flim said. "Although speaking of washing machines, your reception isn't so good. You sound like your phone has been dipped in water."
"I... it isn't important what happened to my phone. My phone... it suffered a little water damage during... routine maintenance is all."
"Well then you're in even more luck than I thought!" Flim said as he continued shredding documents. "Your phone certainly needs to be replaced. There's no doubt about it. Why, I'm surprised that it's even running at all."
"It took a little work. But... no, no we're not here to talk about that. What I want to talk to you about is your taxes. Yes, you need to pay those."
"Our taxes aren't going anywhere," Flam said after putting more papers into the fire. "Your phone could give out at any moment!"
"And that won't do at all." Flim tisked and shook his head. "Not at all, not at all. But luckily for you, Flim and Flam Industries is one of the leading provider of quality electronics in all of Equestria! Even the princesses themselves have purchased their phones from us, and they said that they might even reward us if the quality continues!"
"A knighting, she said," Flam chimed in.
"R-really?"
"As sure as I'm sitting here. We are an honest sort!" Flim said.
He emptied his shredder into a nearby trash can and started putting more papers into it.
"And it's not just phones we sell," Flam said. "We are also the manufacturers of excellent computers as well, if you're in the market for one."
"I... I don't want to talk about that."
"Sounds like you need to, though," Flim replied. "Come on, how can we help make your life easier?"
"My computer situation is, er, complicated. But I don't need one!"
"Everypony needs a computer just like they need a phone!" Flam insisted. "Besides, if you don't have a computer, how are you going to order our products? Our phones are ship-to only."
"We sell them with a thirty business day guarantee," Flim pointed out. "And that's not to mention the thirty day warranty that comes with all of our products."
"You can even finance them at a mere one hundred bits a month for twenty-four months, or fifty-five bits a month over forty-eight months!" Flam said. "It's a complete steal."
"Only eight percent monthly interest, and you won't find that anywhere else!"
"I dunno. That seems a little high."
Flim scoffed and waved his hoof. "For interest that low and free insurance? It's the steal of the year, nay, the century! These deals won't last long, so you'd better hop onto your next balloon to Cloudsdale and take advantage of our generous offer."
"And if you do it in the next five days, we'll give you three percent off of our best phones."
"Honestly, you can't afford to not do this!"
"M-maybe. Where in Cloudsdale?"
"Oh not too far from the balloon port," Flam said. "It's only a few blocks from there."
"Well, I'll check it out, I suppose. We'll talk later."
"We look forward to it," Flim said.
Flim ended the call and took a deep breath. "That was a close one. We'd better finish shredding these before he actually shows up."
"Right on, brother of mine. Until then..." Flim pressed a button on the phone. "Block the number."