//------------------------------// // Chapter 3. // Story: Equestria Falls // by TKM //------------------------------// Soos was covering his open mouth with his hand he couldn't take it fully in yet, he couldn't speak, Soos just muttered random sounds. Soos kept staring at Fluttershy who was not giving eye contact and was looking down at the floor. Wendy was the same as Soos, but surprisingly to Dipper she looked more excited than Mabel and Soos combined. Grunkle Stan reacted for two seconds, he had a face of surprise before, Stan quickly regained his composure, now Grunkle Stan was scratching his back. " This my Grunkle Stan, and these are my friends Wendy and Soos." Dipper told Fluttershy, pointing to everyone as he called their name out. "Uh-uh...nice..to meet...you." Fluttershy replied. "Yeah." Stan said dryly. "So Fluttershy-" Dipper stopped mid-sentence seeing Wendy picking up Fluttershy and start hugging Fluttershy. Dipper could see that Fluttershy was struggling and accepted the unexpected hug. Wendy realizing that what she did, she let her grasp release from Fluttershy and, put her back down on the ground, embarrassed blushing a dark shade of red "Sorry... I just always wanted a horse." Wendy told Fluttershy with an apologetic tone. "Its fine, I really didn't mind." Soos finally got his composure back and put his hands back down and stopped making those random noise. Dipper knew Soos was easily impressed, the beavers on Scuttlebutt island was an example of how easily impressed Soos could get. Soos was still smiling like a complete fool. "This has to be the best place of all time." Soos said with tons of merriment in his voice. "I completely agree with that." Wendy responded. "Yeah its pretty amazing. Fluttershy, you said their are others like you.Right?" Dipper said. "Yes,my friends are coming over shortly, I bet they would be happy to meet you. They are all very nice ponies." Fluttershy said. Hearing this, the grins on the faces on Soos, Mabel, and Wendy grew a lot bigger, maybe you could say that they their smiles grew three times that day. They squeed in delight like school girls, Wendy and Soos holding hands jumping up and down, Mabel erupted from her seat launching the bunny off of her lap, Mabel laid down on the floor and started running around in circles on the floor. Knowing he was forgetting something Dipper looked through his bag, taking out his book on supernatural creatures. Dipper opened up the book up and flipped through all the pages slowly, making sure not to skip any pages, he finally found a page on pegasus's, he looked at it closely and realized that it was... blank. Dipper looked up from reading his book and noticed everyone else went inside, Grunkle Stan was sitting down on the couch, along with Fluttershy. Soos and Wendy were sitting down on the floor, and Mabel was playing with the creatures in Fluttershy's cottage. Dipper asked Fluttershy if he could ask her some questions on pegasi, since the page was blank, except for the word pegasus underlined on the top of the page. Fluttershy agreed, Dipper using his wits asked hard hitting questions, most of the questions Fluttershy didn't give that much of a detailed answer, only a few words. After asking all of the questions he could think of, Dipper put his book in his bag, satisfied that he least got something down on pegasi in the book. " So Fluttershy, why do you have all these animals, are you some kind of crazy pony?" Mabel asked Fluttershy. "Oh...I'm not crazy, I just love animals,thats what special talent is." "Thats what they all say." At the door came the noise of knocking, Fluttershy went to get it, everyone else stayed where they were. As soon as Fluttershy opened the door, a pink pony, no wings, or horn, picked Fluttershy off the ground and started swinging the timid pegasus back and forth. There were four more ponies following this pink pony, entering Fluttershy's cottage, they were too busy getting the pink pony off of Fluttershy, to notice Dipper and everyone else. Within the group of the five ponies visiting Fluttershy, there was the pink pony that was hugging Fluttershy a moment ago, two unicorns a white one with a purple mane, that looked very well groomed, a lavender unicorn, with a black straighten mane with two streaks of light red. Another pegasi, this one looked less timid than Fluttershy, the pegasus was cyan-blue, and had a rainbow colored mane. Then their was the other regular pony, this one was orange, and a yellow mane and tail, the ends of which were tied up, also this pony had was wearing a cowboy hat. "F-f-fluttershy what are those things?" asked the lavender unicorn, appalled seeing five weird creatures in her friends cottage. "Hey im not a thing I'm Dipper." Dipper answered the lavender unicorn with an annoyed tone in his voice. The five visiting ponies stumbled back up shocked at the fact this creature could speak, all of them besides the pink pony. "Ah,ah it-it talks." the lavender unicorn replied back shocked, did they not have any other creatures besides pony in this town, or wherever they ended up Dipper wondered, these ponies seemed really shocked seeing them, like the Dipper and the others were the supernatural creatures, because the look on the pony's faces to Dipper didn't really say " We see humans every day". The five ponies just stood there looking at Dipper and the others, Dipper got used to the whole pony thing already, Grunkle Stan didn't really care, he was telling Fluttershy a joke about a bus or something like that. Mabel, Wendy, and Soos just stood still admiring the five new ponies, Soos, was taking pictures with a disposable camera, the ponies became even more shocked at this foreign device. " Yes I talk, why is that so surprising?" Dipper asked. " Because your a monkey, thats why." Blurted out the rainbow maned pegasus. " Now, Rainbow thats, not very nice." The orange pony said trying to sound apologetic for what her friend just said. "Quite, Applejack is correct, we can't just go around being rude, to strangers, even though they might look a...little strange, we should still show them the utmost respect." the elegant unicorn added. " Now say you're sorry, you two." requested the orange pony, she turned to the one she called "Rainbow" and the lavender unicorn, which had a face that said, "Aw hell no, she is not talking about me." "And yes that means you too Twilight." "Fine, Applejack." "We are, so sorry." The two ponies said apologetically, or was it was just really good sarcasm. Dipper wasn't sure maybe pony customs were different. "Its...fine." Dipper replied awkwardly , these ponies were already getting comfortable around Dipper and the others, at least they got used to them. The five ponies turned turned towards their timid friend. Who was trying to grasp Grunkle Stans humor about buses, hitting people and why that would be funny, to her it just sounded awful. Also Fluttershy wondered what is a bus? " Now Fluttershy, where exactly did you find these, creatures?" the lavender unicorn asked her yellow pegasus buddy. "Oh, well uh...you see they came out out of the Everfree forest." Fluttershy muttered. "WHAT!?" screamed the other ponies obviously shocked at what Fluttershy said. "What's so bad about that? Is that a bad thing?" Dipper curiously asked. "Well of course its bad. ITS VERY BAD!" Twilight screamed panting and panting. " Fluttershy I'll protect you from these... uh whatever they are." Rainbow Dash told Fluttershy stoically. "Yes Fluttershy darling, come to Rarity." Rarity told Fluttershy in a baby voice. "Hey I take offense to that. I'm not some kind of beast." Stan retorted to towards the judgemental ponies (I mean how dare they be so judgemental.) " Yeah we are not some kind beast." Dipper told the ponies agreeing with his Grunkle. Dipper then proceeded to turn his head to see his Gruncle in his underwear and white t-shirt,(which makes no sense I mean two seconds he was fully dressed in a suit, that must be a record or something.) sniffing his armpits that were stained with sweat. Everybody besides Soos started puking in their mouths, not because of the sight , but because of the smell originating from Stan's armpit. Fluttershy walked over to Dipper and faced her pony friends. " I' ashamed at you guys. Judging these poor-" "We aren't poor." Dipper interjected. "-defenseless creatures." "We aren't defenseless." "Dipper, why are you saying that? What Fluttershy is saying makes us seem adorable." Mable told Dipper in a cheerful tone. "But, Mable I don't want to be adorable" "Fine, you can be a-dipper-able." "That makes no sen-" "Thats hilarious. Thats a knee slapper...oh wait I don't have knees." Pinkie Pie interjected laughing hysterically. After that Pinkie Pie just kept laughing, I mean if I didn't have knees I would be pretty bummed out, Dipper thought to himself, I mean they can bend and stuff thats pretty cool. "Ok you're right Fluttershy we were too quick to judge." Twilight admitted. Rarity and Rainbow dash apologized as well but there apologies seemed a lot less sincere than Twilights. " The thing is what do we do with them?" Twilight asked the other ponies. "Well we just can't leave ah'm here." Applejack stated. "Yes, I would feel terrible making Fluttershy deal with all of them." Rarity added. " I wouldn't mind, but I don't think I have enough space to fit them all." Fluttershy mentioned. "Well I would ask the Princess's for help but hey are on important business. Meanwhile " Luna why are we here I thought we were going on important business?" Celestia questioned her younger sister. "What do you mean?" Luna answered not paying attention her mind was focusing on something else. " What do you think I mean? We are playing mini golf, we shouldn't be goofing off we have a royal duty." " Ha dooty." Luna giggled at her potty humor. " I mean our friend Chuck Norris doesn't think its stupid right Chuck." "Nope." Chuck Norris replied with a monotone voice. "See." "Nope" "NOPE" "Why does he keep saying nope?" Celestia asked baffled. " Just wait." Luna replied. " Nope .....Chuck TESTA!" Chuck Norris suddenly became a cardboard cut out on a stick and who else but the famous Chuck Testa was holding that stick. Luna started rolling on her sides laughing like a maniac. Celestia annoyed with her sister pinched her forehead.( Oh wait Pony's can't pinch also do ponies have foreheads." Meanwhile "So now what?" Dipper asked. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- KEEP READING IF YOU DARE. Sorry about the long hiatus I will probably start working on the story but chapters will be very short. To show how sorry I am here are some jokes I made. What happened to the penguin who had polio then got cured? - He got happy feet. " Why didn't the screw run away?"- It was just a drill. ---- Also heres a super special treat my non-pony writing story I'm writing on, well only the first chapter. Chapter One : Cool Guys Don’t Look at Alabama Pockets. “Ow my head, where am I and what’s my name?”. Suddenly out of nowhere a gigantic fucking explosion engulfed the sky. “HOLY CRAP!!!”. As the sky was being overtaken by the black, I ran as fast as I could because the explosion was fucking scary. Finally after running in terror I stumbled into a deep and dark cave. “Sweet a cave, hold on there’s a path here let me see where it leads, because I have nothing better to do.”. As I started walking deeper into the cave I started seeing writings on the wall surrounded by strongly lit wax candles, written in some kind of red liquid, though most of the writings was faded, I could at least make out one word. "Lucy, you know what maybe that’s my name.”. I reached down into by dark blue denim skinny jeans and came to a realization. That one is why the fuck would I wear such ball gripping, semen killing skinny jeans. And that... “I have a penis, sooooooooooooo that means I’m a guy so Lucy can’t be my name.” I just kept walking deeper into the depths of the cave, then out of the blue (because it was so black that it was blue) I hear. “Help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” “I’m coming stay put.” I told the random voice. Maybe this person has the deep troubling answers I’m looking for, like what my name is, why I’m wearing such tight skinny pants, and why is it that I’m seeing blue instead of black that just makes no sense to me, absolutely no sense, I just can’t comprehend that. Then while I was running I lost the fuck I gave for two of my questions I wanted answered. As I followed the voice and got closer to it, I started hearing moans and as I got closer the moans got louder and louder and I couldn’t bare to hear the suffering. I had to help whoever was making those cries. “Don’t worry your hero is here to rescue you stranger...”. I said reassuringly trying to comfort the stranger thinking she was in danger. “WHAT THE FUCK is going on !?!” I said appalled after seeing the horrid sight, of a girl with blonde hair, short hair, big boobs, blue eyes, and not to forget big boobs that’s very important, very very important. (And no I'm not a pervert, I mean if you saw those melons you'd be like DAMN , those be some huge melons, you could probably feed one hundred stereotypical black people if those babies were actual melons.) Was being given an Alabama Hot Pocket and trust me it’s really bad and it’s disgusting, and if you don’t know what it is fucking good for you, fucking great for you. The thing giving the girl an Alabama Hot Pocket was a white unicorn with a purple dot on his rear right thigh, and his horn was flimsy, and it was purple with blue spots, and kept flopping around, which really disturbed me because at first I wasn’t sure if it was a penis or a horn. “ I can't get up but, I want this so badly. That’s right, give me that Alabama Hot Pocket.” yelled the girl in pure sexual thrill. “Here it comes, oh yeah that feels amazing I’ve been holding this load for days, ugh that feels amazing.” screamed the male unicorn violently. “Ugh that’s fucking gross” I said. The girl and the unicorn turned their attention to me and stopped their act of indecency. “Come on Mr. Sparkles, why is it every time we get going somewhere, some random a-hole has to ruin the fun.” “ I know well I’m still going through with this.” Mr. Sparkles said determined. “FUCK YEAH!!!” the slutty girl yelled with excitement. “ Do you have no shame?” I yelled out in disgust trying to look from the horrible sexual act being done behind me. “No.” both them said together and I could tell they were serious (seriously fucking disgusting) . “ Well alright well I heard you and I came-” “ Thats right finish the deed.” “ Arrrrr I have the POWER rawr .” “So I decided to come see what was going on-” “ Your Alabama Hot Pocket is so chunky and steamy.” Now the girl was eating some corn out of Mr. Sparkles Alabama Hot Pocket. “ You eat that corn ARGH !!!” “ Then I had the unfortunate opportunity to see you guys doing that-”. Then I turned around and in retrospect that definitely wasn’t the best thing to do, probably the worst decision I could make in all of my life now I need to hug a million baby seals to forget what I just saw. “ Ewwwwwww thats fucking gross you guys are horrible do you have no shame.” Now they just stared back at me with a blank look and I stared back at them and they stared back at me and I kept staring back, then they stared at each other then back me and I still was staring at them not batting one eyelid while staring at them. “ Oh yeah I already said that, so what are your names.” “ Listen don’t interrupt me Princess Lucy of the Salriophilia region and you’re lucky beeyatchu that I don’t send you to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon.”. Then I looked at her like she was one crazy beeyatchu and could you really blame me after what she just said. “ So um tell me Princess how ya gonna send me to the moon.”. I said telling that beeyatchu straight up waving my hands in the air saying “AYO.” “ Do not insult the princess, and my horn will deliver you to the moon and I will be so happy when I do this because I know this will please my princess.” said Mr. Sparkles. “Yeah like that floppy and awfully disgusting penis looking horn could send me to the moon.” I said sarcastically, after making that remark I then turned around and saw Mr. Sparkles had turned his horn into a one hundred foot Mahogany tree that breathed fire. “ What now, BEEYATCHU.” boasted the Unicorn very confident. “ Well then let me show you my true power” I said. My hands started to sparkle “ Titanium Dildo hands activate.” (Yeah so apparently I have powers, who knew my momma thats who) “Well your titanium dildo hands are no match for my industrial princess vagina that is operated by-” the princess then turned her head “ pause for dramatic affect, The Jonas Brothers.”. “ Prepare to be killed .” shouted the Jonas brothers out of the princesses vagina. “No one likes me” weakly said Kevin. “ We love you Kevin.” said Nick, Joe, and SpongeBob (because SpongeBob loves Kevin). “ Prepare to be DESO-TROY-AHED by my vagina.” the Princess said. The princess charged at me laughing maniacally. “Bring it on!” I yelled. I charged back at the princess and upper-cutted my titanium dildo hands into the industrial Princess vagina penetrating into the princess. “I don’t feel anything.” I told the princess fucking befuddled. “God damn it are you guys sucking each other’s dicks again?” angrily yelled the princess at the Jonas Brothers. Then I heard gargling and choking sounds out of the princess’s vagina. “We love you so much Kevin.” Nick and Joe said softly. “ Heaven.” moaned Kevin. “ God fucking damn it.” yelled the princess stomping at the ground. “ You wanna go on an adventure?”. I asked Princess Lucy and Mr. Sparkles. “FUCK YEA WE DO!!” the princess and Mr. Sparkles said very happily. Then we had a three way. Then when we finished and started walking out of the cave I saw a really pretty flower, but I couldn't go back because those two were blocking my way. So when we all got of the cave I went back to look at that pretty flower. When I got to the flower it was dead just my gentle touch made it evaporate into the depths of the cave. It made no sense to me the flower just ten seconds ago was radiant with beauty and life and now it’s dead. “Come on you idiot, we need to start moving stop looking at flowers, you homo.” said the princess insulting me. “ What I just had sex with you, dumb bitch.” I whispered under my breath, because I didn’t want to deal with those two. Then as I got up from looking at the flower, out of nowhere the Jurassic Park theme started playing and you know what for what’s about to happen, well I’m going to have serious regrets later. (A lot, and lot of regrets.)