It started when the phone rang.
The Human Seven all checked their pockets and purses for their cellphones, and it was Sunset who realized that hers was the one ringing. She sighed and shook her head.
"Oh, sorry, girls. One second." Sunset slid her cellphone out of her purse, hit the answer button and held it to her ear with her shoulder.
"Hello, this is Sunset."
"Yes, hello, my name is Legit Collector from the Equestrian Revenue Service. I am calling to inform you that you are under investigation for tax evasion."
Sunset frowned and put her phone on speaker, placing it on the middle of the table the group was sitting at.
"Um, I'm not totally sure how that happened. I've been getting my tax returns every year. I thought that the..." Sunset frowned and tilted her head, exchanging confused looks with the other girls. "Wait... did you say 'Equestrian' Revenue Service?"
"Yes, I did, Miss Sunset. Now, according to our records, you owe the Equestrian government nine thousand, four hundred and sixty-three bits. Should you fail to pay this amount then you will spend no less than ten years in an Equestrian penitentiary. Do you understand what I have just told you?"
"Um, yeah, but..." Sunset scoffed and shook her head. "I'm not in Equestria. I'm not even in that dimension. You've just called an alternate dimension where none of us are ponies."
"Oh ha, ha, Miss Sunset. I must ask that you take this seriously. Lying to an ERS officer carries an additional penalty of five years in prison and another ten thousand bit fine."
"Firstly, no," Sunset replied. "When I was Princess Celestia's student I read every book I could get my hooves on. Sometimes that extended to tax law when I was really bored. Secondly, if you check your phone I think you'll see that I'm right." Sunset smirked and pulled the magical diary out of her backpack. "Go on. I'll wait."
"Look, Miss Shimmer, do not be ridiculous. If have not called an... I... uh... WHAT?!"
"Yeah, I'm kind of weirded out by it, too," Sunset admitted as she uncapped her pen. "I'm also kind of impressed. Did you use Starswirl's third aerodynamic laws of aneomorphisness to configure the flange meter in the phone?"
Dear Princess Twilight,
"I... erm... I don't... I don't think so. Uh... oh dear."
So funny story: I got a call from an ERS scammer today.
"Well, I hope so. Either that or you would have had to use Princess Celestia's ninth concerto blast mixed with an ionized catfoot rune or else the phone would have blown up in your face and probably taken out the entire house you were in."
He's kind of an idiot
"I don't... think I did any of that."
as I'm sure you already know.
Sunset sucked in air through her teeth and grimaced while the rest of her friends tried holding back their laughter. "Well, if that's the case, then you're really lucky to be alive. If you want my advice, I'd pour salt into the phone and give it a good washing. After that, there should be a book in the library about cleansing rituals. It's called Redhoof's Radical Guide for Radical Rituals and it should have the info you need about preventing your absolute destruction. Chapter six, I think."
So I thought up a plan.
"I'm not so... certain about all of this, Miss Shimmer. If, um... I haven't felt any negative effects yet. Maybe I'm in the clear."
Sunset shrugged, took Rainbow Dash's phone, and connected to the internet. "Hopefully. It's hard to say. If things did go wrong, the first thing you'll hear is a high pitched ringing sound coming from your phone..." Sunset pulled up a video of said high pitched ringing, played it, and held it up to the phone.
"YYYAAAAAAHHH! OH FUCK!"
*SLAM*
Sunset smirked to herself and closed the video. "Alright, I think that's that."
If a stallion comes into a library asking for 'Redhoof's Radical Guide to Radical Rituals', you have your scammer. Best of luck with that.
Sunset.