"What kind of lunatic attacks an EIGHT-YEAR-OLD with a bucking axe!?" Cadance yelled, conjuring up a table and flipping it.
Luckily, Spike caught the table before it bounced off anyone. "We were eleven, thank you. And besides, the axe lost that little fight. Granted, I got a welt on my noggin, but it busted on impact. The guy thought I was Oolong. Or as he put it, 'Oolong the Terrible'. They told us he was a shapeshifting fiend who'd come to their village in some monstrous form and terrorize them, taking away their daughters to be his brides, with the guy's daughter, Pocha...Pooccha...Pocky...?"
"Pochawompa, Spike" Chronoa said, amidst several giggles.
"Right. She was picked to be next."
"Well, I guess I can't really blame the villager for it then." Luna calmed down some. "A cretin like this Oolong is in dire need of a good beatdown."
"Unfortunately, this is also when Goku decides he has to start checking to see if someone's male or female..." King Kai groaned to himself. Luckily, only Chronoa heard him.
"Yeah, he was kind of a bully then. We also found out that an old lady had the six-star ball, and she agreed to let us have it if we beat Oolong. So, we...or, I guess Bulma, cooked up a trap for him."
Spike looked unsure as he saw the 'disguise' Goku had on; they'd dressed him up to trick Oolong into thinking HE was Pochawompa. "I dunno about this, Bulma, he looks kinda silly."
"I feel like it too." Goku replied, trying not to trip on the skirt.
"It's either you or him, Spike." Bulma shrugged. "And he'd probably notice if his 'bride' was purple and green. You sure you know how to use that thing?"
Spike gave the Power Pole a twirl. "Yep! Grandpa taught me how to use it too, but Goku's still a little better."
"Ok, just remember, wait until you get him to spill where the girls are, then you can go to town on him!"
"And just then, he made his appearance, flowers, tux, and everything. Goku went outside and I got up on one of the houses. It was going ok for a minute, except Goku had to take a leak really bad.
"What's wrong? Not shy are..." Oolong's voice trailed off when he saw his 'bride' wasn't. "W-WHAT THE HELL!?"
"Gotcha!" Spike called out, leaping out of his hiding spot.
"Wha!?"
*CRUNCH!*
The Power Pole bent over as he hit the supposed 'demon' in the face with everything he had. Oolong teetered for a moment, one of his teeth clattering to the ground before the rest of him followed with a crash.
Silence washed over the town again until Bulma and few villagers trickled out to see what'd happened.
"They did it...! They...they've defeated Oolong the Terrible!"
Bulma chuckled weakly. "Uh...not quite what I expected, but that'll work."
"Something else we didn't expect was what happened after he was knocked out. Everyone had started cheering when Oolong got covered in this big smoke cloud. When it cleared, we saw what he really was."
The ponies all looked with variable levels of surprise.
"Wait a sec!" Rainbow yelled. "All those big monsters they said he turned into...and he's really just a pig!? A dinky little oinker!? Seriously!?"
"'Fraid so. Actually, Bulma and the villagers reacted kinda the same way."
The villagers could hardly believe their eyes, Oolong the Terrible, the beast that had tormented them for so long....was really a pig even shorter than the two boys who defeated him!
"This is what we've been afraid of!?" The old lady called out in indignation, "I can scarcely believe it!"
"You and me both!." Bulma glared. "Anyone got any rope?"
A couple of minutes later, and the pig was securely trussed up. A bucket of cold water was enough to wake him up.
"*Cough! Hack!* Bleh! What hit...me..." Oolong paled when he realized his situation. "Uh-oh...uh...Ha! You fell for my trap! Now release me and hand over my bride before I show my real-OW!" A whack on the snout, courtesy of Pochawompa's father,was enough to make him stop.
"Nice try, porky! But you changed while you were unconscious!" One of the villagers snapped. "So that means this IS your real form! Now, you better start talking; where are our daughters!" The rest of the townsfolk shouted their agreement.
"Y-yeah? Why...why should I tell you losers anyway? You fell for it every time I came!"
"Anyone else getting hungry?" Spike asked. Fighting worked up an appetite sometimes. "I'm kinda in the mood for porkchops." He puffed out a bit of flame as he said that, looking right at Oolong.
"Huh, those sound pretty good right now." Goku piped up.
Pinkie looked a little queasy at the implications. "You weren't gonna...cook him, were you?"
Spike shook his head. "Wasn't planning to. Though I really did have a craving for chops then. And it got him telling where the girls were; his mansion."
"He...he actually had a mansion?" Fluttershy asked. The mild disbelief on her face was matched by almost every pony there, even more so by Rarity.
"Well, he admitted he built it with con job money, but yeah. He had a mansion. Of course, he also admitted that he had wanted a wife that'd take care of it and him. Something about resorting to terrorizing the town because girls kept turning him down. Instead, all the ones he'd taken so far kept asking him to go out and run errands for them." Spike laughed a bit. "He even begged their parents to go ahead and take the others back. In the end, they got their daughters, and we got another Dragon Ball."
"Well, serves him right for thinking he could just kidnap himself a wife." Velvet threw her two cents in. "What happened to him after that?"
"The villagers spent the next couple of hours telling him off for his stunt, then Bulma decided his shapeshifting would come in handy, so he came along. Although, he did object when he learned our next stop was a place called Fire Mountain. He said it was the home of a real monster named the Ox King."
Scootaloo snorted. "Yeah...after what he pulled, you'll have to excuse me from believing that. Though 'Ox King' does sound pretty cool."
"True. Oolong, on the other hand, tried to make himself scarce turning into a fish while we were going by boat, but Bulma managed to snag him back. This time she slipped him a pill that caused him to have the runs when someone yelled 'piggy', which he learned the hard way when he tried to run off again once we made it to land."
"Ok, first off, ew...again." Pinkie's nose crinkled. "Second, how does that even work? Even I know you can't...you know...without running empty."
"No clue. I was too busy laughing at the noises to ask."
"I know the feeling." Shining and his dad smirked a bit. "It's hard to hold it in when I'm doing inspections and one of the solders hits a tune on the butt trumpet."
Cadance, Twilight, and Velvet just sighed. "Stallions."
"Unfortunately...Bulma managed to lose her dynacaps, so we ended up having to walk. That led us into the middle of a desert. The heat didn't really bother me or Goku, but Bulma and Oolong were having trouble keeping up. And after yelling about wanting AC and a bath, she managed to find herself some shade and fell asleep."
Rarity shook her head. "Wow, sounds like that girl could use a little toughening up."
"Um, Rainbow, did Ah hear that right? Rarity said someone needs to toughen up??" Applejack whispered in mild awe.
Rainbow looked back. "Kinda says something about this Bulma, don't it?"
"I can still hear you two." The fashionista spoke up, making them look a little sheepish. "I can handle roughing it, thank you very much. It just doesn't appeal to me." She turned back to Spike. "Please tell me you weren't stuck out there long, Spikey."
"Don't really know exactly how long, but the three of us were starting to get hungry. Goku and I were about to go look for something to eat when we heard this weird noise. Turned out to be a hoverbike coming our way."
"'Hoverbike'? What's that?" Twilight asked, looking eager that learning something new.
"It's...um..." Spike waved his hands round, trying to best describe it. "Here, easier if I show you." He looked over as another image showed up. "Those are the two that were riding it as well. Yamcha, and his...I think he's a cat, Puar."
"Aw, he's adorable!" Fluttershy squeed.
"They were also bandits."
"Just hand over your money and any dynacaps you have and you can--"
"You gonna eat that?" Spike asked, staring at the cat thing beside this Yamcha guy.
"Do what?" He asked, thrown off by the question.
"That cat thing by your foot. You gonna eat it?"
"I'm not a cat!" It squeaked, apparently insulted.
"His name's Puar and I'm not eating him!" Yamcha blurted out.
"Can I eat it then?"
"Wha? N-No you can't! L-look, just gimmie your cash and dynacaps!"
All the mares, Shining, Night Light, King Kai, and Chronoa looked at him. "What? He looked tasty!"
King Kai sighed. "Why are all my friends so damn weird...?"
Oolong quickly pointed at Puar. "Puar? Hey, I remember you! We went to shapeshifting school together!"
"Yeah, and I remember you, Oolong; the loudmouth bully who always picked on me just because I was smaller! But at least I didn't get kicked out!"
"What'd he do to get kicked out?" Goku asked.
"N-nothing! The teacher was an old killjoy who couldn't take a joke!" Oolong yelled, trying to hide behind him.
"Yeah, right! You stole her panties! And look, you're STILL hiding behind others!"
"Wow, he hasn't changed much since it seems." Spike commented.
"Ok, look, kids, just hand it over before I have to get rough."
"Neither of us really wanna fight you, but you're not gonna give us much of a choice, huh?" Spike asked. "Well, I knocked out Oolong when we had to catch him, so I guess it's your turn, Goku."
"YOU'RE the one that whacked me!?" Oolong yelped. "I'm missing a freaking tooth 'cause of you!"
"Well, you were kidnapping girls from the village. And to be honest, you can't really take much of a hit."
"Wow, this Oolong sounds like a real piece of work...and you still kept him around?" Twilight asked.
"He just kinda grew on us, I guess."
"Yeah, like athlete's hoof it looks like." Night Light said.
"Well, Goku did face off against him, even got in a hit with the Power Pole. Unfortunately, since we hadn't eaten for a while, Goku was a little distracted and Yamcha managed to tag him pretty hard. I took over, but wasn't in much better shape, though I did get him with a tail in the eye, heh. Though...the weird thing is, while he was coming in to try and use the same move on me that he got Goku with, Bulma finally woke up, and he suddenly froze when he saw her."
"She caught him off guard?" Luna asked.
"No, he saw her, and froze mid-run, like a statue. After a moment he fell over, then him and Puar took off. It was odd, but I was too hungry to really care then."
At this, Chronoa poked Kai in the side. "He still doesn't know about stuff like that!?"
"Hey, I teach fighting techniques, not the birds and bees! If it drives you nuts so much, why don't you try and teach him?" Kai paused when he saw the grin form on Chronoa's face. "Uh-oh..."