ck are they so powerful?!It wasn't a particularly exciting day for Zecora. Today, at least so far, had consisted almost entirely of herb foraging and trade in Ponyville's marketplace. Not that it bothered the zebra, however. It was, of course, business as usual, outside of the daisy sandwich she treated herself to for lunch. Ignoring that, nothing seemed very out-of-the-ordinary to her.
There was just one, small, red, rubbery problem to that.
"My potions and charms!" Zecora exclaimed, chasing after the lone red balloon, "Hand them over at once, lest I bring out the arms!"
Naturally, being a non-sentient balloon, the aforementioned balloon didn't comply.
"Very well then," Zecora grumbled slowly, digging into her saddlebags. "you shall have a taste of a spear from my den!!"
The balloon burst with an anticlimactic pop as the spear pierced its side. The balloon's remains, along with the charms and potions it had somehow managed to steal, proceeded to fall to the ground in a heap.
Zecora snorted, inspecting the damage on her goods before scooping them up and returning to her hut.
"PINKIE!"
"WHAT?!"
Twilight took a deep breath, pointing a hoof at the mass of balloons currently ransacking Ponyville. "Are those your ballons?"
Pinkie scrunched her muzzle. "What? No. If I had evil balloons that could destroy Ponyville in a matter of minutes, they'd be balloon animals!"
Twilight facehoofed. "No, Pinkie..." she groaned, "Just... no."
A lone balloon drifted into Sugarcube Corner, proceeding to steal candy from foals, flip a table, and crash back through the window in five seconds flat.
Twilight blinked.
Pinkie blinked.
Pound and Pumpkin Cake wailed amidst the carnage, for their candy had been wrenched away by the evils of helium-inflated balloons.
...
...
The red balloon returned and promptly left with a tray of cupcakes.
"Okay, that's it!" Pinkie fumed, rolling up her nonexistent sleeves, "It's b'loon-poppin' time."
"Wait, but Pinkie, we've received word from--"
Twilight was left coughing in the dust as her friend stormed off in a mech suit. How did Pinkie find and take control of a mech suit in so little time? Nopony knows.
"... the... Monkey... Confederacy..." the mare trailed off.
Spike waddled up out of nowhere, staring straight ahead with unblinking eyes as he horked up a scroll, waddling away to who-knows-where.
你好我的紫色的马!
I am currently being held hostage by a colorful gathering of balloons and airships. This is fine. Have a nice day! I know I'm not!
-Celestia (小马国的公主)
Twilight squinted in a futile attempt to translate the unfamiliar language on the scroll. However, said scroll began sizzling before going up in flames, leaving Twilight face-to-rubber with the same red balloon from before, only this time smeared with cupcakes and the souls of the ponies it reaped. The mare charged her horn and let loose, incinerating the evildoer with a roll of her eyes.
Seriously though, Twilight thought to herself as she trotted through the pockmarked streets, where'd these things come from?
She ducked as a rock soared overhead, tearing a gash in another nearby balloon. Twilight ignored the whoopee-cushion sounds of the deflating sack of air and continued walking. From the corner of her eye, she watched as yet another house appeared to buckle simply by the mere presence of the aimlessly floating balloons that surrounded it.
And why the bck are they so powerful?!
Twilight's train of thought was cut off by a projectile Luna landing atop her.
"TWILIGHT."
"Urk... what?" Twilight groaned, pulling herself from beneath Luna's hooves.
"WE MUST MEET THE MONKEY CONFEDERACY AT ONCE."
"What-- I--" Twilight babbled as the two were whisked away by the magic of a teleportation spell.
...
...
The shredded, deflated husk of the balloon from earlier dropped onto the ground where the two mares stood seconds prior.
A rift in the fabric of the universe yawned open, complete with the associated bear noises, before spitting Luna and Twilight into the depths of the Everfree Forest. The latter coughed, brushing herself off as she surveyed their surroundings. The eerie smell of latex continued to waft through the air.
Luna's ears swiveled to the side, her attention caught by a stray noise.
"They know we're here," she whispered to Twilight, crouching down, "don't make any sudden movements. The guard-monkeys are easily startled."
From the shadows, two red balloons floated into the open, slowly pursuing the two alicorns. Unfortunately for the aforementioned balloons, however, a dart got in the way. Like, in their way. Like, it went through the dang things.
The pop-pop of the balloons echoed through the forest's thick canopy. A lone monkey dropped from the branches over the former location of the balloons, holding another dart. It peeled the rubber remains of the balloons from the ground, sniffing it before gagging and throwing the shreds of dirt-coated rubber back down. For a moment, the monkey stood still, dart still in hand as it surveyed the area for additional balloons. Then, seemingly in an instant, it turned to face Twilight and Luna, ready to throw the dart.
"Wait!" Twilight blurted, forming a barrier with her magic, "We're not here to harm you. We're from Equestria, and we'd like to speak to the leaders of the Monkey Confederacy."
The monkey made an "O" with its mouth, nodding as it gestured for the two alicorns to follow. The crackle of leaves underfoot pierced through the air as the trio weaved their way into a large clearing.
Without another word, the monkey pointed at a small hut just up ahead.
"Thanks, er..." Twilight began, turning around to find the monkey slinking back into the forest. She turned back to Luna, who only shrugged in response.
The two alicorns thus went on their way to the monkey hut thingymabob in the middle of the clearing, passing the occasional monkey at work on some variant of a balloon-popping device, or farming bananas. Or both. Luna particularly seemed to take interest in the bananas, but nevertheless continued on after much coaxing from Twilight.
"Ah, the Equestrians have arrived," Came a voice as the two entered the hut, "we've been expecting you."
"Wait, you can talk?!" Twilight exclaimed as the monkey the voice belonged to stepped out from behind his desk, "MY LIFE IS A LIE."