Fang and I sat in the living room of our apartment as snow fell outside; we’d returned to Canterlot the day before after our stay in the Gryphon Kingdom, the trip extended a few extra days to attend the funeral of King George. On the one wall, the large marble fireplace was lit and filled the room with warmth. Nonetheless, Fang still sat on the couch in a purple sweater that blended in with his lavender coat. In his hooves was a book that he’d been reading all morning, his eyes barely moving away from the pages. As he continued to read, a hoof came up and brushed his blue mane out of his eyes before moving back to balancing the book. “So I’ve been thinking,” I said as I looked over at him from my lounge chair, the bat pony looking up from his book and over his reading glasses, “with the Lunar Solstice Calibration taking place in Ponyville this year, maybe I’d reopen my shop for a few days.”
“That’d be nice. Let everypony see you again and let them know your business isn’t dead.” Fang chuckled as he smiled at me. Orion, the King Shepherd that Fang had gotten for Hearts and Hooves Day walked into the room and flopped down in front of the fireplace. I felt bad for the poor dog. We’d barely been around since we’d gotten him and he always seemed sad to see us leave after the times we were home. I stood up and trotted over, patting him on the head gently before heading for the door.
“I’m gonna stretch my legs. I’ll be back in a little bit,” I told him as I kissed his cheek while trotting past. Heading into the large corridor, I began slowly walking towards Luna’s wing of the palace where the windows were covered with large, black curtains blocking out all outside light. The halls were lit only by candle light and in the shadows I could see bat pony guards watching me as I passed. Knocking on Luna’s bedroom door, I heard movement inside. Luna opened the door just enough to poke her head out and look at me.
“Hey, Swing. How can we help you?” she asked, seemingly nervous about something.
“I just came by to make sure you guys had picked up the ring for me,” I said with a small smile to her. Luna immediately began smiling from ear to ear as she flung the door open.
“Of course! Come on in!” She trotted off towards her vanity and I slowly entered the room only to see Drum Cadence bound to the bed. She was in a leather chest harness with a leather muzzle on her snout.
“Hey there, Hannibal,” I said with a smirk as I kicked the door closed behind me. Drum glared at me as I laughed to myself while following Luna over to her vanity. The blue alicorn pulled a ring box from one of the drawers and opened it for me to see. Inside was a ring I’d had commissioned from one of the local jewelry stores in the wake of Luna’s announcement of her engagement and the wedding that was to be coming up in a few months. But now that the hype had settled from the announcement, I had to be careful about the ring and not let news slip out. So, with all the planning of a military campaign, we decided on a plan to keep it under wraps. Luna had sent a plain clothed guard to pick up the ring from the store and then return to the palace. From there, she would hold on to the ring until the night of the proposal. But there was one issue. The Lunar Guard were known for being a bit of a chatter box bunch and secrets regularly leaked out about palace workers and royal family members. Due to this, Luna had ordered the guard to keep silent on what he’d picked up or face demotion all the way from First Sergeant to Buck Private. Thankfully, the threat of losing his higher salary was enough to keep him quiet. The ring itself was like a work of art. In the center, a large amber stone had been cut into a heart shape, the stone matching the amber color of Fang’s eyes. Around the amber were smaller amethyst stones that matched his coat, all of them set in a silver band.
“It’s beautiful,” I said as I picked up the ring out of the box and held it in my hooves, turning it to see the low amount of light in the room glint off the stones. “Fang will love it,” I told her setting it back in the box. She smiled at me before seeming to remember the position her soon-to-be wife was still in. She blushed as she quickly showed me to the door. I had to laugh to myself as the door quickly shut behind me and I could faintly hear Drum shouting through the leather muzzle. Trotting back towards the apartment, I was blinded when the guards opened the doors leading out of Luna’s wing.
~~~~~
I walked slowly through the palace grounds, the snow falling gently around me. My hoofsteps were silenced by the powdery snow under me and only added to the calmness that I felt around me. In my head, I rehearsed what I wanted to say to Fang. And no matter how much I thought about it, it never seemed to come out exactly how I wanted it. I silently cursed and kicked some snow, frowning at my failure. “A bit for your thoughts,” a feminine voice said, making me look over to see Princess Celestia sitting there, her coat blending in with the snow. Quickly bowing to her, I looked up when I heard her chuckling. “No need to bow to me, Swing. Especially now that my sister has declared you her heir. Now, my dear nephew, what’s the issue?” I slowly stood up and walked over to sit down next to her.
“Well, Your Highness—”
“Just call me Tia.” She told me with a smile.
“Alright. Well, Tia, I’ve been struggling to find the right words to say to Fang when I propose to him. No matter how many times I rehearse it in my head I just can’t get it right. Even in my head, I can’t seem to express just how much I love him.” I frowned again. She looked down at me again with a look only somepony with hundreds of years of wisdom could have.
“Well, Swing, I can say I’ve been in your situation before, more times than I care to admit, and I know exactly what your problem is.” Celestia smiled again at my cluelessness and chuckled. “You may be in love, but you’ve still got much to learn of love. You’re trying to tell him with your mind when you should be telling him with your heart. The mind makes your decisions; the heart makes your words. Speak from your heart and the words you’ve been searching for will come naturally.”
“Thank you, Tia,” I replied with a smile. “You know, I think this is the most we’ve spoken since Twilight’s student switched yours and Luna’s cutie marks.” We both chuckled at that memory, Celestia suddenly in charge of the entire night guard and with me as her secretary.
“May I confess something to you? I’m actually quite jealous of you and my sister’s friendship.” Looking up at her in shock, she simply nodded in response. “I ruled Equestria for a thousand years while Luna was locked away on the moon. A thousand years of being seen as a god, as untouchable, when really I just want the same things as everypony else. I have my vices. I have emotions. I have hobbies. I’m just like everypony else. But nopony sees that.”
“Believe me, I know that feeling all too well. Though I must say, you sound a lot like Queen Elizabeth of the Gryphon Kingdom. Seems like everyone hates being royal.” We both laughed quietly at that before she stood up.
“Well, shall we continue this discussion as we walk?”
~~~~~
“So, I’ve been thinking, how about we invite your family here for Hearth’s Warming?” I asked Fang as we sat in the reading car of Luna’s personal train. The gentle rocking of the car relaxed us as we headed for Ponyville.
“Like to the palace or Ponyville?” Fang asked as he looked up from his book.
“The palace. I’m sure Luna would enjoy it just as much as your family. All she really has is us, Drum, and Celestia. And with us as her heirs, your family would now be her extended family. She doesn’t show it but she can be a very lonely mare,” I replied as he went back to his book.
“Did you know almost a third of stallions in Zebrica are gelded?” he asked as he turned the page, making me raise an eyebrow in questioning.
“What’s that got to do with the topic at hoof?” I asked him as he lowered his book again.
“It’s something I just read here. I figure if we’re going to be traveling to other countries then I may as well know about them. Apparently it’s common in most tribes to do it after the first or second born colt.” He explained as he turned the book around for me to see it.
“Fang, can we get back on topic?” I was getting slightly irritated at his dodging of the subject.
“I’d really rather not, hun.” Fang stated as he returned to his book. Now I was officially annoyed.
“Why not?” Fang didn’t answer me, only making me more upset. “Fang, why not?”
“Because I’ve already caused them enough trouble just by being me!” He blurted out as he launched the book at the opposite wall, the hardback slamming against the window. “Because after everybat in The Hollow Shades found out I was gay, they began harassing my family. They were fine with the albino, but they draw the line at the queer son! My siblings were being bullied at school so bad that mom and dad finally pulled them out to homeschool them. Just about every evening the house gets bombarded with eggs and fruit and everything else you could think of.” He paused as tears began streaming down his face. “Sometimes I think it would’ve been for the best if I hadn’t been born.” I immediately leaped up and embraced him, holding the sobbing bat pony in my arms.
“Don’t you ever think that, Fang. Please. You’re the most special stallion in the world and I don’t know what I’d do without you. If I’d even be here without you. You’re my everything, Fang. Please don’t beat yourself up over who you are.” He continued to cry until I had an idea that I hoped would fix the situation. “What if I convinced Luna to let them move to the palace?” He looked up at me as he sniffled and wiped the tears from his eyes.
“What?”
“You heard me.” I said as I leaned back to get a better look at him. “I’ll convince Luna to let them move to the palace. And if not the palace than one of the other properties the crown owns. Believe me, I had to file the paperwork for them, they’ve got plenty of places they could go.” I leaned in and gently kissed his forehead. “Now, let’s dry those eyes and get to bed. We have a big few days ahead of us.”
~~~~~
I trotted down the hall of the palace, the plush red carpet feeling like a cloud under my hooves. From down the hall, I could hear music coming out of the ballroom. Entering the ballroom, I saw a couple hundred ponies all dressed in tailcoats and old flapper style dresses. “Good evening, Mister Rhythm,” the stallion at the podium said as I trotted past. I nodded politely to him and continued on, looking around at all the ponies, finding it odd that there would be a ball like this at this time of year. Finally, I came up to the bar that was there and sat down on one of the stools.
“Good evening,” a voice said and I looked up to see myself standing behind the bar. The other me was wearing a red mess jacket with a white shirt and black bowtie. “What’ll it be?”
“Bourbon on the rocks,” I replied and he smiled at me as he nodded.
“Coming right up.” He began making my drink as I leaned forward to look at him closer.
“So what’s up? Last time you weren’t this kind to me,” I told him as he set my drink on the bar in front of me.
“Let’s just say, even your nightmares and demons feel you deserve a break from what’s going to happen within the next couple of days.” He stated while polishing a glass. “Don’t bother asking what it is either. Even I have no idea. All I know is that it’s not going to be pleasant.”
“Not pleasant at all,” another version of me stated as he sat down next to me, his leg shredded and intestines hanging out of a gash in his side. “And that’s coming from me—and just look at me!” We all sat there in silence as the music from up on the stage drifted through the room.
“You know, I’ve always heard to make peace with your demons. And here I am having a drink with mine,” I mused as I looked at the bourbon in my glass before taking a sip of it. “Damn good stuff. We always did have good taste.” I laughed as I looked at the other two versions of me, the other two smirking in response. “Now, about this thing that you feel the need to warn me of. You know absolutely nothing of it?” They both shook their heads with slight frowns. “Well nuts.” Setting the glass down, I smiled slightly at them as I stood up. “This was good. See you around, fellas.”
“Don’t run off so quick,” the version of me behind the bar said as he pointed towards the other end of the bar. “There’s a mare who I believe would like to talk to you.” I looked to where he pointed and there at the end of the bar sat Princess Luna in a silver flapper style dress. She waved me over and I sat down next to her, her eyes glancing over to the other versions of me who still were still chatting at their end of the bar.
“I must say that this is a rarity to see in my trips to the dreams of others. Particularly having a drink with a mutilated version of oneself.” She commented as she sipped a Manehattan ice tea. “Would you like to discuss what that’s all about?” I looked up at the princess of the night and shook my head as the me behind the bar set another bourbon on the rocks in front of me before returning to the other end. “I’m afraid that wasn’t a request, Swing.”
“I’d feel more comfortable if we discussed this on the dance floor. I hope your waltz skills are still good,” I told her as I dragged the alicorn to the dance floor and began waltzing with her, the both of us passing through the other dancers as though they were ghosts. “Now, we can discuss this here. Unless you wanna have some real fun and go chop through the bathroom door of my apartment with a fire ax?” I asked as I nodded towards the doorway to the ballroom with a smirk. She looked at me blankly and I quickly cleared my throat to fill the silence between us.
“Swing, I’m asking not as your friend, but as your mother, what’s going on?” The mare looked down at me with a slight frown, making me look down in slight shame.
“It’s just a nightmare I get every now again. The ghosts of my past coming back to haunt me,” I replied as I continued to look down at the floor.
“How often do you get these nightmares, Swing?” Luna asked, her voice coming out with all the concern that one would expect of a mother.
“At least every other night. Sometimes more,” I confessed in a voice barely audible to her. “But it’s alright, I’m used to it. It reminds me of my mistakes, and keeps me from repeating them.” She frowned even more as I looked up at her, my eyes watering but the tears refusing to fall. “I saw what happens when mistakes go unchecked with my last relationship. That’s why he left me for another stallion. Because of my mistakes. Because my own stupidity, I made myself everything but a perfect stallion. Why would he want a cripple like me when he could have a perfectly normal stallion?” The tears finally began to fall as I pressed my face against her chest, my tears soaking her blue fur. “Why can’t I just be a normal stallion again? Why do I have to be like this?” Luna gently embraced me as I collapsed to the floor in a sobbing heap, the tall mare laying down to hold me. “Why…why did I have to make myself like this?” Her hoof stroked my mane as she sat with me in silence, the music continuing but the ponies around us fading away into nothingness until it was just her and I accompanied by the haunting sounds of the music echoing off the marble walls of the ballroom. “If I could just be normal again…maybe ponies would love me.”
“Swing Rhythm, look at me!” Luna commanded me with all the sternness of an angry parent. I looked up at her, my eyes bloodshot and cheeks matted with tears. “Ponies do love you. White Fang loves you, Drum Cadence loves you, and I love you. You’re my child, Swing. And while you may not have known a mother’s love as a colt, you will now and I can promise you that you are loved. It may not always feel like it, but you are.” She hugged me back to her chest and continued to stroke my mane. “I fear we’ll have to continue this conversation later though. It’s time for you to awake.”
~~~~~
I woke up with a jolt, sitting straight up in bed. Next to me, Fang stirred from his sleep and looked at me groggily. “You alright, hun?” He half groaned as he stretched. I nodded as I noticed the moon beginning to peek over the horizon. Through the window I could tell we were close to Ponyville by the familiar landmarks like the snow covered apple orchard. Rolling out of bed, I put on my prosthetic and prepared to get the night started, Luna’s words still echoing in my mind.
~~~~
On a steam train headed for Ponyville, a tan pegasus sat with her head leaned against the window. The moon was well into the sky but it was still fairly early in the evening for her, only nine o’clock. Her turquoise mane hung down and cushioned her head from the vibration of the train through the window. Over her ears was a large set of headphones that were connected to a Walkman, the sound of Maretallica coming through them quietly. Gypsy Jazz sighed as she thought about her attempts to finally contact her half-brother. Would he even accept her as his half-sister now that he was Luna’s heir? Surely he’d already had ponies show up claiming to be long lost family. He probably wouldn’t even hear her out if she did meet him. Up until now it had been a constant game of trying to catch him wherever he went but he always seemed to be one step ahead of her and just slightly out of her reach. This trip to Ponyville would be her last attempt. She’d used up all her bits just trying to catch him, her last few bits going towards the train ticket she had for the trip to Ponyville. So as she sat there on the train, the music blaring in her ears, she attempted to get a nap in because starting the next morning, her final search for her brother would begin.
~~~~~
Fang and I waved farewell to Luna and Drum as we left Twilight’s palace. We’d again decided to spend our time in Ponyville at my old apartment which I’d had re-furnished to serve as a little retreat of sorts for Fang and I to escape to if needed. The walk there was slow and quiet, save for the chirping of birds as the sun began to rise on the horizon. We’d taken so long getting Luna and Drum settled in that we had wasted the whole night at the palace. Now that dawn was upon us, we were exhausted but still managed smiles at the ponies out and about already. There were a few that were out for their morning exercise and down on Market Street was Big Macintosh setting up the stand for Sweet Apple Acres. We stopped and had a short chat with the burly stallion, catching up and discussing the new things in our respective lives. A thing about Big Mac that not many ponies know is that he’s incredibly musically talented. He’s about the only stallion in town that could give any musician a run for their bits on a piano or any sort of guitar. Though that was something that the large earth pony was extremely modest about. And his singing voice was absolutely stunning. I could recall the incident that got him recruited to the Ponytones. He was at the bar with Applejack, had a bit too much to drink, and ended up singing karaoke on one of the tables, much to the amazement and amusement to the other patrons. Rarity and Fluttershy were having drinks together that night and after Rarity heard his voice, decided she needed him in their group. And I’d be damned if he wasn’t a perfect fit. After our chatting with Mac, we continued to the apartment which was furnished mostly like it was when I’d lived there before, with a few changes from Fang of course.
“Sweet Luna, I need some sleep,” Fang said as he headed for the bedroom with me not far behind him. We had had the guards take our luggage to the apartment ahead of us so we didn’t have to worry about storing them until we needed to unpack in the morning. Crawling into the bed together, we gave each other a kiss on the lips and I rolled over to let Fang spoon me as we fell asleep.