//------------------------------// // Cake or Death? // Story: Three Kittens, Two Unicorns, and a BANANA! // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// It was the day of the party, and things were going more or less as Tempest expected. There was a giant inflated bounce/slide castle in the backyard that the kids were playing on, a jungle gym with dragon themed traps - and real jungle creepers hanging from it due to a miscommunication between Gru and the Minions that Tempest had taken advantage of for a prank, and Gru had decided to run with - to clamber over, a rubber duck catch game in an inflatable pool that had mutated piranha hidden inside for extra thrill in the middle of the yard, and grilled food and cake scattered around for everyone to enjoy. Everything had been set up exactly how Gru wanted it, even if he did have Nefario make a special 'balloon gun' for inflating balloons of various shapes rapidly. Many of the parents from the neighborhood had brought their kids to the party whatever the age group, and many of them had been in awe of Tempest. The party was unicorn - and medieval mythos in general - themed, but the sight of an actual unicorn walking around brought a lot of attention. The youngest kids oohed and aahed about her. The kids in Edith's age group avoided her since they remembered her antics with Edith, who was running around in her 'ninja-ing' garb and monopolizing the jungle gym. The kids in Margo's age group had convinced themselves that Tempest was an advanced animatronic of some sort. Apparently that was easier to believe than an actual unicorn her size. Kyle was dressed up as a dragon, much to his frustration, and Agnes was enjoying acting scared of him with other kids her age while Margo - dressed as a knight - led a squad of the minions to battle him. It had taken a bit of insistence on Tempest's part, but none of them were armed with live weapons. While they were all made of real steel, none had cutting edges. They then proceeded to perform a well choreographed comedic battle as they tripped over their weapons or knocked each other over in their attempts to 'battle' the dragon, much to the youngsters amusement. Kyle eventually got bored and wandered off, but no one seemed to mind. All in all, everything seemed to be going perfectly. As Tempest watched Agnes running around in a unicorn princess dress - an outfit that made her look like a princess riding a plush unicorn, since Tempest had refused to carry her around for the entire day - she waited calmly for the first thing to go wrong. She was certain there would be at least one. "No no no!" Gru snapped as he spun the grilling meat over the open flame. "What do you mean she's not coming? I have a backyard full of these little girls who are counting on a visit from a Fairy Princess!" A quick mental directive from Tempest kept one of the 'performers' - whose helmet had spun around to block his vision - from hitting Father in the legs with his mace. She then turned her attention back to the phone conversation. "Listen! I don't want a refund! I want the Fairy Princess! Please!" At the end, his tone turned from angry to pleading. "Please, I'm begging you..." He listened for a time, then turned angry again. "You know what? I hope you can sleep at night, you crusher of little girls' dreams!" He angrily hung up the phone. "Ooh! Ooh!" Agnes asked excitedly. "When's the Fairy Princess coming?" Tempest smiled to herself. She knew exactly what would happen now...and was rather unsurprised to discover that the Minions were already prepared for this eventuality. It was almost scary just how efficient they could be with the Overthought complete, and all without losing their comedic pratfalling nature. As Gru reassured Agnes, he saw one of the Minions gesturing him inside. Curious, Tempest followed them in. Gru blinked in surprise at the winged harness they offered him, one that was actually capable of self motivated flight even for his girth, as they demonstrated. "Did you know this would happen?" he demanded suspiciously of them. They promptly pointed at Tempest. "Did you?" Gru demanded. "Things go wrong," Tempest offered readily. "That's why backup." Gru chuckled at that as he took the harness. "...will it work with a different wing style?" he asked as he glanced at the sparkling, butterfly wings. The Minions happily pulled out the interchangeable bird, bat, and dragon alternatives. Gru grinned widely. "I'll keep this in mind. But for now...I promised a Fairy Princess..." With that, he stalked determinedly into the house...with a brief glance back. "Supervise!" he ordered the Minions as he gestured back out at the party. They both saluted before dashing back out. Smiling, Tempest followed. With Margo's help, a bit of order was kept...until the sound of 'twinkling Fairy Dust' heralded the arrival of the 'Fairy Princess'. The children began to squeal excitedly as they looked up... Gru, wearing a curly blonde wig, a large pink tiara, and a very ruffled, very pink dress began to descend majestically from the roof, waving a star tipped wand that shed sparkly dust with each wave. He managed a smile, though whether from being in character or from the marvel at the working flight harness and actual 'magic wand' - in truth, just another remote terminal hidden in the star shaped tip - was impossible to tell. "It is I!" Gru said as he landed majestically, doing a passable effort of making his voice sound feminine. "Gru..." "Grunhilda," Tempest whispered, focusing to make the whisper appear in Father's ear. "-nhilda!" Gru finished with a wider smile. "The most magical Fairy Princess of all!" He waved the wand again...and in addition to trailing sparkles, it conjured a few fairy lights that floated out over the gathered children who looked up in awe. As Gru continued speaking, Tempest noticed Barry with a remote control behind the door into the house, plainly controlling the wand. She sent him a smile. "How come you're so fat?" one of the little girls asked rather rudely. Tempest could see Father getting irritated at the question, and she thought quickly. What was a good explanation for a large-bodied Fairy Princess? Matter=Energy? the Overthought submitted as a possibility. "Bursting with magic," Tempest relayed into the whisper spell. "Because I am just bursting with magic!" Gru responded in a feminine tone, waving the wand and releasing a large burst of sparkles....which trailed over to the cake and ignited the candles. Taking that as a signal, the kids raced towards the cake. "Thank you, Grunhilda!" Agnes declared happily. "You're the best Fairy Princess ever!" "You're welcome, little girl!" Gru responded readily, kneeling down to her level. After the other children left, Agnes ducked back in with a hug. "I know it's really you, Gru," she whispered softly. "I'm just pretending for the other kids." Gru smiled warmly as she walked off to the cake. Tempest watched happily. Father was a good Father... Oh great, there was the local busybody, and one of her friends was there alone. Operation Match Breaker! she sent quickly through the Overthought. Before Jillian could reach Gru, three Minions intercepted her standing on each other's shoulders. The top one held up a sign that read, "Good Mothers before Good Girlfriends" with an arrow down. The second sign down said, "Must pass thorough interview from children first," and had another arrow pointing down. The bottom sign read, "Not at a Party!" "...oh..." Jillian observed as she backed off. Tempest smiled widely. If Gru wanted romance in his life, he'd go looking. For right now, he had all the family he needed.