Bugging Out

by No Pony


How I Met Your Mother

You blinked, looking around as you saw... nothing. Pure and utter nothingness. Simply a black void that stretched out in all directions, You remembered this place. It was that spot inside of you. The dark, inky black spot of your negative emotions. The place you went to whenever you were reminded of all the things you did wrong and considered all the things you'd continue to do wrong. A place that even the kind, loving words that those who cared for you could not reach. A place that-

"Anon, so glad to get a hold of you before you started another one of your... unique dreams," Luna stated, flying in before you with a smile on her face.

Oh, never mind. You were simply sleeping and had yet to start dreaming. Okay, good, forget the whole dark place thing then.

"Hey Moonpie, what's up? Couldn't wait to see me tonight? Wanted another tasted of my meatpop so soon? Cause I thought you ponies were herbivores, but you were eating my dick up like-" you greeted, quickly rambling into the sexual circumstances that had ended your last encounter, only to quickly get one of Luna's wingtips stuffed into your mouth.

"Please, we... we do not regret that by any means, but that is not what we wish to be thinking about right now," Luna stated, her face reddening at the thought.

Smiling, you placed a hand on the wing and gently moved it away. "Hey, I get it, it was a very odd thing... after all, as princess, I expect you've never met anyone that can work their tongue better than you, but damn, Ap was wild with that. Like, it was a wrestling match and she had you pinned!" you laughed out, earning you a smack to the head with Luna's wing.

Snorting, Luna tried to regain her composure, stiffening her posture to help enforce that regal authority of hers. "Speaking of Apocrita, I came to pick you up. It's time I take you to somepony else's dream for once," she declared, legitimately surprising you.

"Really? Who we visiting? We going to Celestia's dream to surprise her and maybe make her wake up missing me some more? Or perhaps to Twilight's dream so I can fuck with her at last? Oh, oh! We'll got to Chrysalis' dream so you and I can double team her, fucking her so hard mentally that she'll think that her best option from this point on will be for her to join up with you and I for a menage a trois, thus curbing her desire to destroy Canterlot and potentially save everyone the trouble of war?" you suggested, getting hyped up at the idea of invading somebody else's dreams for once. You were certainly tired of Luna constantly judging you for yours. So what if you had one or two... or twelve dreams where you railed all the female royalty of the land with an unending boner?

Luna seemed hesitant to respond, the implications of what you just said clearly toiling in her mind. "You... that is quite the plan you came up with," Luna finally stated, looking at you curiously.

"What can I say, I have a gift for these sort of things. The whole plan to take Ponyville was just off the top of my head, among others I may or may not have suggested to Chrysalis by accident," you replied with a shrug.

"You're... you're making it really difficult to try and side with you and claim you're the victim in these proceedings, you know that, right?" Luna asked with a sigh, shaking her head as she remembered just how... illogically devious and counterproductive your mind could work for your own freedom.

"Yeah, I know. Now come on, where are we going?" you asked, brushing past the awkwardness of the situation you had created.

"Well, if it wasn't clear by the fact we mentioned this after you mentioned Apocrita, it will be her dream we are going to," Luna stated, enveloping you in her blue aura, making you tingle.

"Awesome, because I have some shit to share with her," you stated, trying to do your best to just let Luna do... whatever she needed to move you. The aura around you began to grow darker, starting off light, then becoming navy blue, to midnight blue, until it seemed impossible to see out of. Then, the aura burst, ripping you from the void to a completely new scenery.

"Um... Luna? You sure you didn't take us to somebody else's dream? This... this doesn't look right for Ap," you stated, looking around at the scene you had appeared in, Luna also looking shocked by it.

You recognized the layout of the throne room from the Changeling hive, but without walls or a ceiling. Furthermore, at the end of the room, where the doors would be and you two were currently standing, was a flight of stairs that led down to the front of the royal palace in Canterlot. While usually you'd see a beautiful sight, with a wonderful garden and detailed sculpture, you instead saw fire and rubble, the home of the princesses falling apart, while numerous ponies lay in defeat or death.

"What... what sort of trickery is this? Why do you not speak!?" a twisted, yet familiar voice called out, drawing you and Luna back to the throne.

There, standing before the throne was Luna, Celestia, and Chrysalis, all in the familiar sight, at least to you in your dreams, of them being chained together in defeat. Seated upon the throne was a Changeling that reminded you a fair deal of Chrysalis, but clearly different. Her dark purple mane was shorter, only a foot long, but seemed to emerge from her scalp all the way down to the base of her neck in a more traditional horse mane style. Her purple eyes were almost reptilian, cold and vicious. And finally, her horn was not twisted like Chrysalis' was, but jagged so that the back of it was almost serrated.

"Apocrita... is that you?" Luna asked, stepping forward tentatively.

The cold eyes fell upon Luna, earning a hiss in her direction. "Another Luna? How can this be? What... are you... oh... oh shit, this... this is a dream," she stated, her voice warped so that every word came out with venomously, realizing what it was that was transpiring before her. Slowly, you watched the appearance of the Changeling Queen fall apart, as if someone had cracked her very form, the individual pieces flaking off and falling away, until all that remained was the silhouette you'd seen in your dream last.

As the silhouette sat there at the top of the throne, it began to tremble, looking like it was going to go into a full on seizure if it continued. "I... I wasn't... This isn't..." Ap started to say, clearly trying to deny the cold reality that her dream basically had her ruling over Equestria and hive alike, an iron hoof pressing down on the throats of her enemies, even if those enemies were supposed to be the people she cared about.

Quickly taking off from her spot, Luna flew over to the throne, wrapping her wing around Ap almost the moment she landed. "Sssshhh, hush, don't worry, don't feel anything. We have seen many dreams like this before. Twisted perversions of your desires and what you wish for, nothing more," Luna assured her, trying to quell the fears the fellow mare, and soon to be royalty, was facing.

"I just... These desires have been growing, but I... I don't know what it is I really want," Ap sobbed, trying to keep herself from falling apart.

"You want more than this, we know it, we have seen it. In the short time that we have known you, we know what a good pony you truly are. You have given us hope for the Changelings," Luna told Ap, smiling at her in her attempt to alleviate her fears. Looking back at you, Luna said "Isn't that right, Anon?"

"... the fuck is that?" you asked, almost totally ignorant to the effort that Luna was putting in to try and help Ap, pointing off to the side.

While Luna seemed irritated that you were not immediately agreeing with her and consoling Ap, she and the dreamer herself followed your focus to another throne. Your throne, from the hive. And sure enough, there you were, sitting on the throne. However, the you on the throne was laying on his side, looking almost like a cat, with a metal collar and chain fastened to his throne. And completing it all was the fact that they were wearing a metal bikini.

"The fuck Ap!? You made me Princess Leia? I told you the story of Star Wars for good purposes and you made me into Princess Leia!?" you shouted, marching over to her throne.

"Anon, this really isn't-" Luna started to say, only to be cut off.

"Like you're one to talk! I heard how some of your dreams went before. You had all the princesses and Chrysalis chained up!" Ap spat back at you, brow furrowed in a glare.

"Yeah, but in my dream you were in a guard uniform! You've got me in a metal bikini! And it's totally inaccurate by the way, my dick and balls should be bursting out of that thing!" you bellowed back, stopping at the foot of the throne, seeing as you had no way up. "Luna, lift me."

"I really don't think-"

"Just do it," Ap growled, not taking her eyes off of you. Luna sighed reluctantly, but did as she was asked, floating you up to the throne so you could meet with Ap face to face. For a long moment, you two just glared at each other... then your face cracked into a smile, unable to hold it any longer, with Ap following not long after, her own more of a smug look... at least, that's how you felt it was, considering the sensations you got instead of an actual visual.

"Fuck, how are you so good at that shit?" you snorted, only to stop when Ap clocked you in the shoulder.

"Because I've had to deal with your shit for so long, and as much as I hate to admit it, you've rubbed off on me," she stated smugly.

"Hah! I've done more than just rub off on you, Luna knows that personally," you laughed, earning a look from the mentioned princess, a scarlet tinge to her cheeks. "Although, I'm sure your mom has something to do with the ability to hold that look," you added. Perhaps you shouldn't have added that last part out of nowhere, because Ap's emotional output suddenly went from pleased to see you to... bone chillingly worried.

"V-... You spoke to Vespa?" she asked, stammering a little.

"Hey, show some respect, that's your mother," you declared. "You call her Mom, Mommy, Mother, Mum, Ma, or Birthing Canal, you got that?"

Shaking her head, Ap hissed through her teeth. "No, no, no, this isn't good. She's still supposed to be undercover as Zezu, why is she back in the hive?"

Taking notice of the name, Luna looked between the two of you and said "Zezu? The zebra ambassador? But... she was so nice, she shared such lovely treats from her home land with us and always apologized that her homeland wasn't... oh... oh buck."

"Yeah, apparently Chrysalis is doing some recalling in preparation for that war we were talking about, of which I still know nothing of. Also, she's acting as your replacement as my personal guard," you explained what little you really could about the situation.

"Replacement!? What about Chitin covering for me?!" she shouted, reaching out to shake you by the shoulders.

"He got lazy and tried to use the attempt to take me back as a reason for you recovering under his care. Didn't think about a replacement being called in, and he was just as surprised to learn it was going to be your mom... I'm... kinda surprised you didn't know. We were talking about it in the room with you... while I was taking a shit," you pointed out, not needing to add the last part, but wanting to just for the sake of it.

"I must be slipping deeper into the metamorphosis. It might be why I'm having a dream like this one," Ap replied, motioning to the whole scene with one hoof. "My dreams weren't like this before. I think the transformation into a queen is... changing my personality at last."

"... bullshit," you stated flatly. "Oh sure, you're getting a little moody here and there, hormones and all, I get that. However, if you were really so weak willed as to let biology dictate who you are, then you'd have submitted to my hot sausage way earlier on and I'd have had a lot less interest in you," you declared, shrugging off the very idea that Ap could be anybody else but Ap.

"... you know, as shitty as your words are... you have a damn good way of using them," Ap sighed out, leaning into Luna as she relaxed.

"What can I say? I've got a talented tongue. You'll want to spread your legs some time and I'll show you what else it can do," you stated proudly, making obscene motions with your tongue at her.

"Ruining the moment," Ap grunted, pushing her hoof out and booping you on the nose. Was that allowed? You thought only you and your hands could boop ponies on the nose. The reverse was weird.

"So... about Apocrita's mother..." Luna said, clearly interested in where that was supposed to go.

"My mother, Vespa, is an elite guard, as I am. Only... she sees things much more differently than I do," Ap admitted.

"Yeah, cause she's only got one working eye," you quickly interjected, unwilling to let the opportunity slip by.

You could feel the glare come from Ap in response, but she continued "She was my hero growing up. The perfect elite, dedicated to the hive, taking on the deadliest assignments she could and always prevailing... until she executed my broodmate, Bee, for a failure."

"Your brother's name was Bee? Fuck, I could have called you two AP-ple-BEE's. What a wasted opportunity," you sighed, shaking your head in shame.

Trying to ignore you, Ap said "She's the epitome of what a Changeling is supposed to be, just short of a Queen of course. Willing to give herself for the hive. I understand why she did it to Bee, others would have done it anyways. The concept of family is different for Changelings after all. But... and maybe this is where I'm weird, but I recognized that difference. Coming from a specific Changeling, being born along side a specific brood. We're all supposed to be a family, a hive, but you grow closer to certain others. So I got angry at my mother for that, but... I also can't hate her."

"Glad to hear it, cause otherwise I let her biting me go without punishment for no good reason," you grumbled.

"Vespa bit you?" Ap asked, surprised to hear it.

"Yeah, she didn't really agree with a few things I said... or things that I apparently represent to her in regard to the hive. She's kind of got a stick up her ass," you stated, rolling your eyes at the very thought of the uptight Changeling. Sure, you liked a nice, tight ass, and were planning on digging into Ap's at some point, but uptight was too tight!

"This isn't good. I was hoping I'd emerge before she returned and she'd simply have to accept my rule over the hive. If anypony is likely to discover that I'm undergoing a secondary metamorphosis, she's going to be the one," Ap groaned, burying her face into Luna's side, getting some comforting wing pats from the princess.

"Yeah, we had to rush to hide you from her at one point. I hit my dick because of that, so, you know... you owe my dick," you stated, motioning with your hands to your groin.

"I'll be sure to send 'get well' flowers," Ap spat, turning her head to glare at you.

"... I rode your mom," you retorted, a little angry at her response.

As you expected, Apocrita and Luna both gave you an incredulous look, shocked by what you just said. "You. Did. What!?" Ap hissed out, pulling away from Luna, only for the princess to wrap her wings around her tighter to prevent what might be an incident that would make you brain dead.

"Yeah, I rode your mom. Like, all through the hive. It was totally embarrassing for her, but super satisfying for me. Especially from how many Changelings saw it," you stated, loving the miscommunication here. You were also wondering if ponies in this world really understood how obvious it was to ride them in a non-sexual way, but you'd wait a little longer before pointing that out.

Luna couldn't restrain Ap any longer, the smaller being breaking free to tackle you off of the throne. "I can't believe you! I know I said I was fine with you and Chrysalis doing it, but this is my mother! Couldn't you think with more than your dick for once and not try and fuck her!?" Ap roared into your still smiling face. The fact you were still smirking seemed to catch her attention. "You... you didn't have sex with her, did you?"

"I rode her, like, on her back... not her lying on her back, but me on her back and her walking around," you stated, correcting yourself when you realized that could have still been misconstrued.

Sighing, Ap got off of you and said "You really need to curb your jokes, Anon. I'm already emotionally unbalanced because of what you did to me anyways, so don't make it any worse than it already is."

Grabbing the transforming Changeling, you pulled her onto your lap, getting a surprised eep out of her, but no struggles as you started to stroke her... mane? Fin? Something was there. "Can't help it, it's just who I am... although, I'm taking this means you really don't want me to fuck your mom at some point," you half-asked, wanting to set the line.

"Of course not! How would you like it if I fucked your dad?" Ap shot back, only kept from turning to glare at you because you were damn good with your fingers at her ear.

"Concerned that you'd be fucking a corpse, but I get it. I just wasn't sure. I mean, you've admitted to getting it on with mares before, and you sure as hell were interested in Luna's tongue as much as my dick during the last dream," you pointed out, looking up to Luna who just watched from the throne.

"That's different, Luna's not my mom. It's the fact I'm related to her that makes this bad," Ap declared.

"So if we can get Chrysalis to chill out... threesome? Please?" you pleaded.

"Don't push your luck. I may not have the full strength of my mom's venom, but I can still bite your dick and render it useless for a while," Ap warned, even as she wiggled back into your hold.

"Impossible, you'd never harm my dick, it's given you too much pleasure to dare harm," you shot down, not believing for a second she'd bite it.

"Can we get back on track?" Luna asked, hopping down from the throne to join you both, resting herself on your outstretched legs. "If Apocrita's mother is truly a danger, what should Anon do to work around her so that you can complete your transformation?"

"Just about nothing. If she was willing to bite him once, even with Chrysalis telling her to not touch him, then she's already against him... which means she's against me, not that I'm surprised," Ap acknowledged, knowing better than anyone else how determined her mother could be.

Chuckling, you shook your head as you lightly smacked Ap on the top of her head, more than a pat, but less then a strike. "Then I'll just change her mind. She'll come to love me and support you as the new queen. Everyone wins!"

Smacking your hand away, Ap twisted around to face you. "You keep adding more and more impossible tasks for us to accomplish. I've agreed to taking over the hive without killing Chrysalis, but my mother has convictions, she won't budge on this. Maybe it's time that we start prioritizing things so we can determine which must be taken care of and which we'll hope to take care of," she softly announced, trying to get you to understand how difficult this was going to be.

"Impossible means nothing to me. Hell, I crossed the very barriers of space, time, and beyond to end up in this crazy world, beat the ultimate deceivers in a game of deception, and fucked a bug-pony into becoming a queen. At this point, what is there that I really can't believe is possible?" you pointed out, earning a blank stare from the two before you. "I'll keep trying to do the impossible until I'm finally proven wrong, and you better face it, I'm never wrong, not in crazy horse land."

"... Even we are struggling to admit this, but... Anon is right," Luna concurred, her gaze shifting to Ap. "While his actions have time and again made us question whether or not he should be doing the things he has, the bottom line I've seen is that he is capable of doing what was previously unthinkable. Why, we'd never even considered making friends with a Changeling, but here we are."

Groaning into her hooves, Ap said "Please stop, you're just going to make his ego bigger."

"And my ego is damn huge as it is, you both know that," you declared with pride, which earned you a hoof to your ribs.

When Ap was finished twisting her limb into you, she sighed out "But... you're both right. If anypony is capable of it, Anon is... Hive, I think I need to wash my mouth out with bleach or something now."

Laughing, you pulled Ap and Luna in tight, not letting them free despite the struggling that ensued. "Don't worry about it, I've got this handled! When I'm done, ponies and Changelings will walk hoof-in-hoof, knowing they have me to thank for it all!"

Worming her way up, having been trapped between the larger bodies of you and Luna, Ap said "Just be careful. I respect... and even love my mom, despite what she's done, but if I have to choose between her and you, I don't even have to waste a second thinking about it."

Giving her a reassuring smile, you said "Don't worry about me, it's in good hands. After all, what can go wrong?"