"Um...are you alright, Twilight?" Starlight Glimmer looked nervously at the angry twitch in Twilight's eye.
"I'm...FINE..." Twilight growled. She picked up the report again. "And I suppose that you can provide an explanation as to how half of the Camel Kingdom found itself engulfed in flames, requiring the intervention of several of Canterlot's weather team to put out the blaze?"
"Really? First we've heard of it. We didn't exactly stick around for that one," Trixie said, a look of surprise crossing her features.
Starlight thought back to the day of the incident, trying to jog her memory on how the seemingly mostly harmless (save for an entire platoon's worth of broken bones and burns) escape could have escalated... "Wait, I think I know."
"Oh really, DO TELL," Twilight said sarcastically: she'd long since given up on trying to contextualise the colossal screw-up and was simply playing this by sheer apathy mixed with some righteous anger.
"I think some of the sparks from the fireworks caught the grass on the other side..."
"Because OF COURSE IT DID," Twilight shouted. "Of COURSE you three would be responsible for this! Was it all part of your oh so great plan to basically put the entire force into early medical discharge?"
"It was an accident! You can corroborate the story with the other pony...once you...find them," Trixie said, seemingly offended that anypony could be so uncaring. Well, THAT level of uncaring relative to their predicament, anyway.
"According to reports, the fire was blown towards the Kingdom by the winds that were set in place by the weatherponies' machinations earlier that day. The army who had yet to cross the bridge lacked the means to properly control the blaze, and as a result, they were unable to prevent half the city from the blaze until outside help intervened," Twilight replied, narrowing her eyes at the pair. "The fire SHOULD have been cut off at the island since the bridge collapsed due to the weight of the army fleeing from the blaze, and some of them found themselves trapped. But apparently, a stray firework from your...earlier scheme flew towards the kingdom, and ignited several oil cans there. Because OF COURSE IT DID!" Twilight picked up the report again. "Luckily, no lives were lost."
A puzzled look crossed Starlight's face. "Wait, how'd they even escape, then? I'm pretty sure they were stuck on a narrow island, the first bridge we crossed collapsed behind them, and there's sharks in the waters there..."
"How should I know!? I'm already struggling to understand your justification for this entire fiasco as it is!" Twilight gave her most theatrical sigh. "And then what did you do after you had managed to...lose your pursuers?"
"We ran all the way back to the train station, caught the first train back to Ponyville, and we came back to deliver the report," Starlight said, deciding this would be an appropriate time to bring the debacle to an end. She paused. "Wow, the ending sounds pretty lame after all that."
Twilight stared at Starlight and Trixie for a few moments, before declaring, "You two...I cannot even BEGIN to understand how the Cutie Map could have declared this a success. A day that ended in violence, hospitalisation and fire. I have had to spend all DAY trying to clear things up with the Camel Kingdom because of you!"
"Well, maybe there WAS a friendship lesson to be had here," Trixie's voice had taken on a rather foolish tone of optimism.
"And that would be?"
"Sometimes friends need to be reined in before something happens that everypony will regret," Trixie said. "If that horrible bird hadn't just been allowed to poop all over Trixie's belongings, AND that of the prisoners we met, the army would never have been hospitalised, and there wouldn't need to be a fire in the first place."
"That...is not how I would have wanted that lesson to be learnt, honestly..." Twilight groaned. She paced around the office for a bit, before turning on the pair. "You two are to be officially confined to my Castle until I can find your guest and punish them too. You are only to be let out if, Celestia forbid, you are summoned for another Friendship Problem. But if one or both of you screw that one up too..."
"Scout's honour!"